A Story Doesn't Exist Unless It's Told.

The goal for this year and for every year is to be kind and also to stop being scared of literally everything.

As I sit alone in the darkness, tears stream down my face as I fight to keep from falling apart.

All the questions and emotions of us flash through my mind as I rest my face in my hands.

For so long, all I wanted was your love and to spend my days and nights being loved by you.

But no matter how hard I tried to be what you wanted, regardless of how much I wanted us to be happy together.

It never really happened the way I had always hoped.

I don’t know if you just don’t care, don’t realize or don’t want me…you never actually told me what you wanted.

It’s a hard thing to be stuck in a place of uncertainty when it comes to matters of the heart-

Especially when all I wanted was to love and be loved by you.

I know now that I have to turn the page and close the chapter on you and me.

If there ever really was a “you and me.”

I’ve known for the longest time I deserve better but I was so scared to move on, fight for what I wanted or lose you.

But now I realize that I never really had you to begin with.

The idea of “us” was really just wishful thinking..so it’s time to let go of all the hopes and dreams I had for us.

And finally move on and be happy on my own.

It’ll be hard, I know, and I’ll shed a lot of tears as I do what I have to do to let you go.

But as I wipe away the tears from my face, I look outside and see the sun shining brightly.

I’ll get there, I know.

That place where I can think about you and not cry.

When I can get up in the morning and be happy it’s a beautiful new day.

I’m far from that right now, but I’ll get there.

I can’t fight for someone who won’t fight for me.

Who makes me work just to get their attention.

I deserve better and I’ll find it.

But first, I’m going to work on myself and do whatever it takes to be happy by myself, for myself.

It won’t be easy, it won’t be fast,

But it will be the best thing I’ve ever done.

Love myself for the person that I am because in the end, that’s what truly matters the most.

I’m closing the door on you and opening the door to my happiness.

One moment, one step, one day at a time.

- Abdullah.

Always say "my peace is more important" when you find yourself reacting to something that doesn't deserve your energy.

#Abdullah

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.

Light Always Wins.

Our Lord! Grant us the good of this world and the Hereafter, and protect us from the torment of the Fire. ~2:201

Rabbana atina fi dunya hasanatan wa fil akhirati hasanatan wa qina adhaba an-nar.

ربنا آتنا في الدنيا حسنة وفي الآخرة حسنة وقنا عذاب النار

You may be doing all the right things but you're not seeing results. You keep asking the Almighty and you think it's all come to a standstill.

Don't give up.

Keep enduring, keep persevering. It's always darkest before dawn.

This goes to .....

I still love you, but I’m setting you free.

You know how deeply I cared for you, don’t you?

You must know how many silent tears I shed, how many nights I wished you’d realize that indifference wounds more than words.

I never asked for much—just to be seen, to be felt, to be loved the way I loved you.

But instead, you made me feel invisible, even when I was right beside you.

I still love you, but that love no longer chains me.

It no longer keeps me stuck in a one-sided battle—where I was the only one trying, hoping, believing.

I won’t ask for your time anymore.

I won’t ask for your attention anymore.

I won’t ask for love anymore.

I won’t ask for honesty anymore.

I won’t ask you to choose me anymore.

I won’t ask for anything anymore.

I’m letting you go—not because I stopped caring, but because love was never meant to be this painful.

Maybe one day, you’ll understand what you lost.

But by then, I will be somewhere far away —where love is not pleaded for, but given freely.

Abdullah.

He dipped his fingers into my mouth

and called me his.

I brought the animal out in him.

The side he showed no one else.

And I became something feral, taunting, and submissive. The very thing he needed and craved.

I felt wanted and adored.

He felt needed, cathartic, and in control.

And when we collided, storms erupted violently.

If you’re struggling and your people are just sitting there watching you struggle, they’re not your people.

Wicked Game ..