FEIGNING FOR YA
FEIGNING FOR YA
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CHAPTER 3
pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader
summary: easter with your family sucks and since when can Luke read you so easily
warnings: not proofread! slow burn, college au, smau, fake dating to dating, cursing, aged up! pjo charcters, parental expectations
a/n: guess who’s back from my hiatus! can you tell i used a crazy rich asians line. feedback is much appreciated after i took a long break
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You’ve said it once and you’ll say it again. Springtime is truly a lovely time of the year, especially late spring. It was a healthy reminder of the college year ending in a month and a half.
That, along with the flowers in full bloom and allergies at a minimum. Luke watched you enjoy the bright scenery racing by his car window. A sigh escaped his nose.
You were in your head. Luke could tell.
He would’ve said something to cheer you up, anything stupid really, but his car was already coming to a stop. The engine sputtered.
“You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.” Luke gently placed a hand on your knee. The incessant tapping you produced stopped. You figured he was slightly irritated with your nerves.
Cars were lined down the street. You could hear people talking in the backyard. Easter was a big holiday. Though a bunny planting eggs in the yards of homes was an absurd caricature to choose. Where did the bunny get the surplus of eggs? Dollar Tree.
Luke listened to you (which really meant he listened to your Aunt Shelley). He traded in his wife beater and button up for a sage green button up. The colors matched your white dress with patterned green flowers.
Sure, you hated coming back home at times, but you wouldn’t use that as an excuse to not dress up for holidays.
“I know.” You spoke up finally and glanced at him. He could tell you didn’t take his words to heart.
“Believe me.” Luke emphasized with a squeeze of your knee. You nodded your head, internally thankful he decided to accompany you this Easter. “We’ll be okay.”
And it was okay, like Luke promised, at least it was.
“That’s the boy you’re dating?” Your parents had pulled you inside the house. Shock and disappointment written all over your mother’s face. The subtle action of wrinkling her nose told you how displeased she was with this.
The Easter party was outside in the backyard. Your younger relatives were playing outside, running around Luke, begging him to join their games. Music was playing and your aunts and uncles were joking around.
It was a complete contrast to the inside of the house. Your mother had still upheld the rule of that quiet, peaceful environment. The ticking of the grandfather clock paired with the hum of the AC echoed throughout the house. It was unnerving how foreign the sounds of your home had become.
“He is.” You swallowed your nerves and guilt to put on a mask of faux confidence. You switched from hugging your arms to crossing them. “He…he is sweet and kind and treats me right.”
“He is the one who turned you into some sleaze!” She accused and pointed her wrinkly finger at you. Your father grunted in agreement, staring you down. “Do you not care about your future?”
Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you take a deep breath. You weren’t going to let your parents push you to be their “perfect little girl”. You dropped your hands to your sides and stared at your mom’s judging eyes.
All you’ve done is care about your future, your life. It was the constant studying, the constant tutoring kids who didn’t care. Just to make your college resume look like the perfect candidate for some top notch college. High school was so mundane and terrible and you tried to look on the bright side, tried to reason with your parents—your mom’s, decisions.
“I told you to get rid of those friends of yours and now you’re dating the bad influence. The fly!” Your mom reminded you harshly. Always your and your friends' fault for turning out a certain way. Always. “You never listen to me because of them—him!”
Luke was starting to become concerned with how long your parents were keeping you from festivities. Your little sister and cousins have asked him to lift them up with just his arms so many times.
They were getting impatient, waiting for the Easter Egg Hunt to start. The sky has even taken it’s cue to start going to bed (as your little sister called it)
“He is not a bad influence. He doesn’t smoke and rarely drinks.” You defended with a firm tone. “Luke and my friends are not going to ruin my future because I want to have fun.”
“It’s that mindset that’s going to get you homeless!” You left the conversation after that.
Judging stares and faux smiles were plastered on your older relatives as soon as you left the house, followed by your parents soon after. Aunt Shelley was a prominent figure, reveling in gossip and family drama.
Luke wrapped an arm around your waist and kissed your temple. A silent act of reassurance, that he was here. You watched as your cousins and little sister ran around the large backyard, collecting the plastic little eggs.
“Look!” Your little sister presented a shiny pink plastic egg. She smiled, proud of her find. The sun was beginning to set. A range of oranges, pinks and yellows complimented the clouds and the horizons. The lights in the backyard blinked on.
“That’s really shiny. What’d you get?” You crouched down to your sister’s height, entertaining her ego.
She opened it with a small ‘pop’ and inside was money. “I’m a dollar and twenty-five cents rich!” She exclaimed with a happy smile. Your sister proudly showed off her reward to Luke.
Your sister was the only reason you came back home anymore,
It wasn’t until dinner was served that the whispers became prominent. Left and right as you sat and ate, you heard how different you were. How you back talked (back sassed in Aunt Shelley’ words) your parents. How disobedient and ignorant you’ve become and what they would’ve done in this situation.
“How could she talk back like that? My sister only cares for her future.”
“I would’ve made her do online school.”
“Mm, no bad influences. Smart man, Thomas.”
“When children are away from home too long, they forget who they are.”
God, couldn’t they just mind their business?
“Let’s just go.” Luke suggested smoothly. His voice is like caramelized honey amongst the sea of scratchy voices. It made your stomach churn because it was the best thing he could’ve said to you all night (totally)
At this point, Luke could read you like a book. Since the food came out, you’ve been in your head, thinking twice about this act of rebellion. Doubts seeding through your mind. He needed to pull you out.
And as much as you wanted to stay for your little sister, your need to get out of that backyard outweighed it.
The final stop of today’s lovely excursion was the local lake. The sandy banks were warmed by the fading sun. Luke was determined to cheer you up.
Though he wasn’t doing a good job. He left you at the lake alone.
It was a little bit before he showed up again with a flower bouquet, take out and his jacket. “What good fake boyfriend would I be if I didn’t try to cheer you up?”
“You left me for twenty minutes.” You rolled your eyes. He sat down next to you and handed you the flowers. The appreciative smile betrayed your annoyance.
“Y’know, in a way, you did piss off your parents.” Luke nudged your shoulder, changing topic. You ran your fingers over the flower petals. “Like you wanted.”
And that was what you wanted. To get back at your parents, to piss them off, for how judgmental and controlling they’ve been of your life. So shouldn’t it feel good?
Luke kept staring at you, taking in how resigned you looked. Your mouth turned downwards whilst your eyes hid how upset you were at the comments.
“Thank you.” You finally spoke up and placed the flowers in your lap. “I think…we don’t have to continue this anymore.”
You spoke with much thought put into this. The whole goal was to piss off your parents. Why did you need to fake date when you already did that?
“Don’t be stupid, sweetheart.” Luke rolled his eyes and opened up the Chinese food he bought. “I’m still in it for the trip.”
You snorted. Of course he was. “Besides, you haven’t even touched the surface of rebellion. You feel unsatisfied because you planned this.” He made his point by gesturing with his chopsticks.
“You’re not supposed to care about what other people think of you or your actions.” Luke shoveled some Kung Pao Chicken in his mouth. He talked like he was an expert on this. He was, but only to his dad.
“So what now?” What a failure this was.
“I help you experience your new freedom with rebelling.” Luke smirked and offered you some food. “C’mon sweetheart, the least you could do is indulge in my ways.”
“Okay, Master Yoda.” You laughed and took a piece of his chicken. The sky had fully darkened and the stars blinked in the night sky.
“No, no! I’m Anakin! Come to the dark side.”Luke and you look out at the stars and constellations. You lean your head against his shoulder.
“Fine.” You mumbled. “I’ll join the dark side.”
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More Posts from Amoreva and Others
FEIGNING FOR YA
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CHAPTER 2
pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader
summary: the first signs of acknowledgement from your family about your relationship and planning and…Luke is a good fake boyfriend!
warnings: not proofread! slow burn, college au, smau, fake dating to dating, cursing, clarisse x chris, aged up! pjo charcters, yn is older sister figure to percy, luke and thalia are older sibling figures to annabeth, drinking
a/n: inspired by charlie’s recent boxing photos! ik it may be a little choppy, but i wanted to put smthg out there before i go on my trip. comments and feedbacks about writing are much appreciated!
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Ding!
A passive aggressive text shows up on your lock screen from Aunt Shelley. You were out with Silena, Clarisse and Thalia when the first signs of acknowledgment of your new relationship shows up.
The photo of your friend group covered by (now) two texts from Aunt Shelley:
Aunt Shelley
I wish you would tell us about this boy of yours before announcing it to the whole world.
3m ago
Kidding! He seems lovely.
1m ago
She was not kidding.
You sent back a short text, making up some excuse about why you haven’t said anything. Sure, you hard-launched the “relationship” intending for your family to see, but that backfired. Kind of.
Most of them didn’t care about social media yet they insisted on following you when you made an account.
Aunt Shelley
Tell him to buy brighter clothes for Easter!
now
At least they didn’t seem to recognize Luke’s mop of curls. Luke has only been to your house once in high school in freshman year. Well, Luke had matured since then and he did gain some meat on his bones. You wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t recognize him.
“Their reactions will be funnier when I introduce myself.” Luke mumbled with closed eyes. An arm wrapped around you abdomen. His thumb rubbing your side. Cheek pressed against your shoulder as he listened to you.
He insisted on taking a nap at your dorm to strengthen the image of your faux relationship, totally not because he was escaping his frat’s latest activities. It was something like a date auction or car wash.
“Do you plan on listening to my Aunt?” You asked, referring to Luke’s closet.
“Fuck, no.” Luke answered with ease.
“Will you at least be civil?” You asked and nudged your shoulder against his head.
Luke picked up his head and looked at you. “We’re supposed to be rebelling. Pissing off your parents for being judgy and shitty and what not.”
Honestly, you were hesitant on “rebelling”. Sure, it was just bringing Luke over and dating him because your parents hate him. But, you didn’t want your parents to hate you for being disrespectful nor rude.
Luke noticed your hesitation. He sighed through his nose. “Fine. I’ll play nice.” He laid his head back on your shoulder. “But you owe me take out if the food is bad over there.”
Believe it or not, Luke had become more docile. His touch more gentle and caring. His pocket always had chapstick now that he had a “girlfriend” again. Was he always like this with his other girlfriends?
You been there everytime Luke was in and out of relationships, but you never seen how he acted with his significant others.
And thankfully, being in a fake relationship with Luke was quite easy. The two of you know each other like the back of your hands. It was practically the normal platonic chemistry, just add cheek kisses, holding hands and flirting. No butterflies appeared nor hands got sweaty around him.
Perfect.
Because thinking about your best friend in romantic sense was the wrong pathway to go. It’s not like you have, just…think about all the movies and books. Usually they never ended well (you think).
“Charlie knows I called it. I knew it!” Silena exaggerated pridefully. Both of you were walking to your Art History Class. “The way you guys would look at each other and—gosh…I still can’t believe it.”
You laughed at your friend’s delusional nature. You can’t exactly pinpoint a time when Luke and you gave each other a look before this contract, but whatever helps Silena sleep at night.
The two of you sit at your usual seats and wait for the rest of the students to trickle in.
Ding!
Mom
Your father and I are very excited to meet this new boyfriend of yours!
now
You wondered if she remembered Luke. He did leave an impression on her. The first time Luke met your mother, he was a little excited and rowdy because you and him were going to stream a new movie that left theaters.
Your mother hated when the quiet in the house was broken when Luke and you were excitingly talking. “You’re like a fly, disrupting this environment.” She scoffed from the dining room and went upstairs to her room.
Safe to say, you hung out at Luke’s house from that day forward (you just gave him your Netflix password). Thankfully, Luke didn’t feel too hurt.
“Oh! I know.” Silena placed her notebook on the table. A suggestive grin on her face. “There’s this party we can go to and celebrate you lovebirds!”
“Silena, that’s not really necessary—”
“You gotta see it for yourself though!”
“See what?”
“That twinkle in their eyes.”
“What?”
The professor entered the lecture hall and began the lesson on art from the transcendentalist period. Twinkle? What twinkle? Like the stuff that romance novels describe when a character falls in love? Come on, that can’t be real.
“Like romance book twinkle?” You leaned over and whispered to Selene. She smiled knowing she had you hooked. Her pencil moved as she talked.
“Like when you get dressed for a party or a date and…and…” She tore her eyes away from you to look if she spelled a word right in her notes. “…they get that first look and their eyes light up like you’re their whole world.”
Your professor called you and Silena out for talking and the both of you quickly write down the notes. Though you both continue the conversation.
“Listen, our friend group doesn’t have to go party or go to a bar. Just suggest a date with Luke tonight and watch his eyes when you’re in your date night outfit.” Silena and you walk to the gym, scanning your ID and going through the turnstiles.
You look at your phone again.
Luke<3
boxing with beckendorf
13m ago
Silena and you walked towards the destination. The familiar black compression shirt and mop of chocolate curls appearing in your field of vision. His gray sweat matching his top.
Beckendorf was spotting Luke as he hit the punching bag in calculated movements. He shifted his weight between his two feet and with laser focus the material of the worn out glove made contact. Beckendorf grunted quietly. Luke could pack a punch.
It was kinda hot.
“Charlie!” Silena disrupted the practice to go hug her sweaty boyfriend. Luke and him must’ve have been taken turns hitting the punching bag.
Luke turned in your direction. A slow smile spread across his fast. He was quick to get his gloves off before greeting you with a forehead kiss. “Hey beautiful.” His hands resting on your waist.
If your next boyfriend wasn’t meeting the same standards as Luke was right now, you didn’t want him. Luke was practically the perfect boyfriend.
“We should go on a date tonight.” You suggested, obviously curious about this “twinkle” Silena was talking about.
Luke grabbed his gym bag and put away his boxing gloves. You grabbed him a white towel to wipe off his sweat. “Yeah? For what?” He drank some water and tossed his gym bag on his shoulder. “Your family being shitty to you again?”
Silena and Beckendorf said quick goodbyes and left the gym. You took out your body spray and spritzed Luke with it a couple of times. “No…” You made sure Silena and Beckendorf were gone. “Easter. We need to talk about Easter with my family?”
“What is there to talk about?” Luke asked and sat down on the wooden bench. You joined him. His musk covered by your body spray.
“I don’t know…like—” You paused trying to get the words out. “What we should do if like—my mother asks some stupid question. Or my aunt flirts with you or if my family ask you to prove we’re dating.”
“You’re not trying to get me to take you out and get you food are you?” Luke nudged your shoulder and teased.
“Yes.” You stated bluntly. “But more importantly, Easter.”
Luke and you decide to go out to dinner at a diner nearby. You made him shower and change first before anything. While he was at his dorm, you were struggling to pick and outfit to successful procure a twinkle.
You stood in front of your mirror, looking at your reflection. Clarisse was on her bed, reading a book for her English class. Though she got distracted by you numerous times.
After what it felt like the umpteenth time putting on different jeans and skirts and some sort of clothing combination, Clarisse her headphones away from her ears. She could feel your frustration and dilemma. The hot-tempered girl wa sin your shoes when she had her first day with Chris.
“Wear something casual, but cute.” Clarisse suggested and scanned her eyes over the clothes scattered on the floor.
“Like that with…that.” The articles of clothing made sense together, but would it give that twinkle you were curious about. It would have to do for now.
“When’s he picking you up?” Clarisse sat up. “I promise you, you’re overthinking this. It’ll be fine.”
You look at her after changing into the clothes she picked out. “I know, I just—what if this doesn’t work out?” Of course, you had in the rebelling against your parents with this relationship, but to Clarisse—you looked worried about your relationship with Luke.
“It will.” Clarisse reassured. “You’ve been best friends for how long?”
A couple of knocks rapped against your door. Clarisse gestured for you to take a deep breath before she went back to reading. You stalked over to the door and opened it.
“Go change.” You immediately stated upon seeing his shirt.
In big bright white letters, his shirt read “I <3 my girlfriend.” Forgot the twinkle, that stupid t-shirt was going to haunt you forever if you let Luke go out in that.
“What, why?” Luke whined, knowing exactly why.
“Luke! Go change or—or…” You hesitated to find a right threat.
“Helpful hint, sweetheart. If you’re going to threaten me, find a viable threat before you start it.” Luke called out and went to change.
You were going to strangle him. Maybe this relationship won’t be as easy managing as you thought. You were praying Easter will go how it’s planned or at least work in pissing off your parents.
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taglist:
@happy-mushrooms @m00ng4z3r @justanotherkpopstanlol @2hiigh2cry @celluifleur @thatbird-fromrio @yuminako @pookiebear16 @mxtokko @cxcillia @kai-islost @kidkrowk @iluvpjo
*writes two paragraphs after months of literally nothing and it took three hours*
FEIGNING FOR YA
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CHAPTER 2.5
pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader
summary:
warnings: slow burn, college au, smau, fake dating to dating, cursing, clarisse x chris, aged up! pjo charcters, yn is older sister figure to percy, luke and thalia are older sibling figures to annabeth, drinking
a/n: not too much today, but the sm posts are cutesies.
series list | next
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cbeckendorf
Liked by yn.ln , silenabeau, and 129 others
cbeckendorf i don’t need to go to a museum to look at art, i have her.
tagged silenabeau
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user1 when is it my turn :/
user2 REAL
jasongrace did you go to the claude monet exhibit?
silenabeau yes! i loved his paintings silenabeau they were absolutely gorgeous racheleliz and you didn’t take me with you? 😔
yn.ln cuties
wisegirl the rings are so cute!
seaweedbrain i can get you paper rings 😎
user3 me when? 💳💥💥💳
lukecastellan posted a story!
jasongrace
Liked by leovaldez, frankzhang, and 23 others
jasongrace late italy photo dump
tagged thaliagrace
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leovaldez i’m hiding in your suitcase next time
thaliagrace 🦞🦞🦞
jasongrace 😀 jasongrace it wasn’t even that bad thaliagrace you were red for days
user4 gorgeous place
frankzhang expecting an Italian lemon for my birthday
lukecastellan
Liked by clarisselarue, chris.rod, wisegirl and 259 others
lukecastellan she made me change shirts :(
tagged yn.ln
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clarisselarue good.
clarisselarue it’s atrocious.
lukecastellan hater 🙄 yn.ln it was
chris.rod the other woman 🥀🥀
chris.rod (it’s me.) travisstoll 😀
yn.ln wait that photo turned out so good
clarisselarue she’s an icon, a legend and he’s. there 🧍♂️
user5 i wouldn’t make you change shirts
user5 GIVE ME EIENE CHANCE 🙏🙏
silenabeau 🤭
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taglist:
@happy-mushrooms @m00ng4z3r @justanotherkpopstanlol @2hiigh2cry @celluifleur @thatbird-fromrio @yuminako @pookiebear16 @mxtokko @cxcilla @kai-islost @kidkrowk @iluvpjo
listening to mike faist as jack kelly in newsies. love it so much kinda figuring out ideas for new newsies fics and maybe smthg for luke castellan.
i will get through the requests and part of the fic series before i started writing another fic series, but newsies request come in 🙏
i love musicals 😭
🤭❤️
moulin rouge moulin rouge moulin rouge—
🤭🤭🤭
EL TANGO DE ROXANNE
Summary: Luke Castellan, son of Hermes, finds himself longing for someone he knows he cannot have. Y/N L/N, daughter of Ares, girlfriend of Felix Greenwood. Felix is toxic to Y/N, but they describe their love to everyone as 'complicated', hiding the ugly truth behind their facade. Passion, Jealousy, Anger and Betrayal. Luke feels cursed by the gods above, it drives him mad.
Warnings: angst (lots of it), fluff, unrequited love, pining, lovesick!luke, slight cheating, toxic relationship (not with luke), manipulative oc, panic attacks, swearing, references to moulin rouge, smut in upcoming chapters, sexual tension, jealousy, mentions of death, fighting.
Starring, Charlie Bushnell as Luke Castellan.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
Starring, You as Y/N L/N.
"Love makes us act like we are fools. Throw our lives away, for one happy day."
AN UPCOMING FANFIC, NOT OUT YET!!! ASK TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST (LIMITED SPACES!!)
are you ready for it? ;)
just finished reading/re reading all your Luke fics!!! love them all mwuah mwuah 💋💋💋
thank you!! I appreciate all the support!!
your race fics changed me and i have been giddy ALL THE DAY AND I THANK U SO MUCH FOR THAT IM 100X MORE HAPPIER I SWEARR
stop 😭😭
that makes me so happy to hear that my writing can do that. thank you sm anon!
Loves Me, Loves Me Not [A.D]
Pairing: Albert DaSilva x Reader
Description: Working as a florist means expressing a person's love for them, writing out their love story in an array of petals and blossoms and messages hidden in between it all. It does not mean falling in love yourself. But then the newsie starts selling outside your shop, and your whole routine goes out the window.
Tags: Oblivious reader, shy reader, flustered Albert, canon era, florist au, flower language/floriography, gender neutral reader, oneshot
A/N: OHHHH you didn't think ol ANGSTY MCGEE could write 10k of sheer toothrotting fluff now didja?? hm?? didja bitch?? well jokes on you cause i wanted to branch out with my reader types and there's nothing i love more than turning the token Tough Guy character into a squirming flustered puddle of a man. anyways i'd say take a shot for every repeated motif in this thing but you'd probably die of alcohol poisoning so just sit back and enjoy the self indulgence!
It is important to note that this happened entirely by chance.
You really can’t stress that enough. There are a thousand things that could’ve caused it, and another thousand things that could’ve led to the whole thing being avoided altogether. But of all things, it had to be chance. And newspapers, you suppose.
Yes, newspapers, har-har. It’s ridiculous, such a simple cause for the whole thing. Something that, again, could’ve been entirely avoided. You know it’s not especially pretty to wrap your painstakingly arranged bouquets in newspapers of all things. It’d be better to use parchment paper – something plain, but rustic, something that drew attention to the blossoms without looking too vulgar, perhaps lined with coloured tissue or lace if you were feeling particularly showy – rather than the same wastepaper the fishmongers used to wrap their catch. But you can’t help it. It’s an in-joke, of a kind; the idea of something growing out of yesterdays news brought you comfort, absurd as that is. So you don’t care if the ladies and businessmen wrinkle their noses at the crinkling paper and running ink wrapped around their lush roses and baby’s breath – they could stand to be humbled some, in your opinion. A rose by any other name, after all.
So, yes. Newspapers. Not the grandest way to start a story, but it’s yours. You like reading them, when the days get long, looking over yesterday’s stories. It became a game, almost – you’d read about the horses favoured to win at Sheepshead and laugh, knowing full well that Admiral Shucker would stumble and come dead last, leaving Zippy Skip to take his first ever victory and render every gambler at Sheepshead penniless. It’s a comfort, knowing exactly what was going to happen. Knowing precisely how the story ended before you read the first line. Which is why, when you ran out of newspapers for your bouquets, you were entirely unbothered – because you knew precisely what you were going to do. You would close for a few minutes, go down Park Row, grab a cheap and terrible hotdog lunch from the park vendor, and then walk until you reached the Promenade, where pack of newsboys would no doubt have stacks of papers ready for the taking as they waited for the double-whammy lunchtime rush of the University and City Hall. And then you’d hurry back, cramming your hotdog into your mouth, and re-open for the lunchtime rush yourself. Same as every Friday.
So you shut your register. You flip your sign to closed. You walk outside and lock the door behind you, and fuss with your pockets distractedly as you cram it back, because that is what you always do at lunchtime on a Friday.
Walking directly into someone’s back, however, is not.
“’Ey, watch where ya-!” Someone snaps as you stumble, tripping over your own feet. You make a rather embarrassing squeak and shut your eyes as you brace for the floor, reaching out blindly for something, anything-
“Whoa – Jesus-!”
You grab the something between your fingers, and then the something grabs ahold of you, hands squeezing your waist tight enough for you to feel rough callouses through your clothes. You open your eyes and – ah.
Well.
That is unexpected.
The boy’s your age, thereabouts. He’s pale, underneath the freckles and sunspots, with eyes cornflower blue. His face is close enough for you to make out the little threads of colour in the iris, like the veins of a petal, and the feather-down of his lashes – orange, you realize, orange and fluffy, like celosia plumes.
You both stare at each other for a moment, as the initial panic subsides. And then you remember the hands on your waist. And you feel the rough wool of a vest clutched between your fingers. And you realize he’s holding you at an angle from where you fell, so you’re dipped just a bit backwards, the way you’ve seen gentlemen dip their lovers for a chaste kiss after they proffer their bouquets.
You clutch your hands to your chest with a small squeak, and the boy leaps back as if you’d burned him.
“Sorry!” He says hurriedly. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t – I wasn’t-“
“No, no!” You say, equally panicked, as you wipe imaginary dust from your clothes. “My fault, entirely my fault, I should’ve been looking, I-“
You both stammer over the other, fumbling apologies and excuses, until you both seem to simultaneously trail off, realizing the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. You laugh sheepishly, and the boy chuckles with you.
“I-I really am sorry.” You say sheepishly. “I, um – people aren’t really around here before lunch, they’re usually working…”
The boy raises an eyebrow and jostles the bag he has slung over his shoulder.
“Well, s’pose I am workin’.”
You frown, glancing from him to the bag of – newspapers!
“You’re a newsie!” You gasp, clasping your hands together. The boy blinks, his cheeks dusting pink, and you bite your lip anxiously – you suppose he must find you quite strange, knocking into him and then getting excited over newspapers, of all things.
“Uh – yeah…” He says awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I, um – I was lookin’ for a new sellin’ spot, heard this place was kinda up an’ comin’, and, uh… I like… Lambs.”
You blink at him, turning to glance at the wooden sign that hangs over your shop door. You’d always loved it, the wee lamb snoozing in a meadow with the words Little Lamb Flowers painted below in curly lettering – perhaps some would find it cloying or childish, but you liked it found it adorable. Still, the idea of this newsie, with his big arms and rough hands and his hat on backwards, being drawn to your shop over a painted lamb… You couldn’t help but find it charming.
He's somehow even redder when you turn back to him, looking at the floor like he’s begging it to swallow him.
“Uh – not, not that I, not to say, y’know, I’m not – I ain’t, like-“ He flounders, and you try not to smile. “The sign’s… Good.”
It’s so awkwardly charming that you can’t help but giggle. He full-body jerks, staring at you with wide eyes.
“Yes, well.” You smile, bunching the hem of your shirt between your fingers. “I like pretty things, I suppose.”
The boy makes a stifled noise, something a bit too sheepish to be a laugh.
“Yeah, s’pose you would.”
“Hm?” You cock your head, and he flushes.
“Uh – nothin’!” He says quickly, looking away with a wrinkled brow, as if the sidewalk had personally offended him. “I just – I-“
“No, um – You’re right!” You try to smile reassuringly – you hope you aren’t making him uncomfortable. You know you can be a little over-the-top, but you wouldn’t want to frighten him off, not after he helped you. And, well – perhaps you were a little intrigued by the gruff, abrasive newsie that liked paintings of lambs. “I mean, I’d hardly be a good florist if I didn’t.”
The boy is silent, glancing around at the quiet street. You fidget with your hands, opening your mouth, then closing it, your body quietly reminding you that you’re supposed to be going to Park Row, because that’s what you do every Friday, and if you don’t get back in time you’re not going to have time to eat lunch, but why would you go to Park Row when there’s a newsie right here? It’s not your routine, perhaps, but – even you can’t deny the convenience.
“Could I-“ You say, stuttering over your words. “Could I perhaps – goodness, this is going to sound awful strange, but, um – I-I don’t suppose I could take a hundred, could I?”
The boy’s neck jerks towards you, hard enough to make you wince.
“Only if you have it!” You say quickly. “I-It is a tall order, if – if you don’t, I can just run down to Park Row-“
“A hundred?” The boy manages to splutter. “What’cha need a hundred for, a pape for every flower?”
You’re sure he’s not angry, just confused – it’s a peculiar request – but it’s enough to make you duck your head anxiously.
“I, um.” You try to laugh, but it sounds a bit pathetic. “I-I like to – wrap the bouquets with them? It’s sort of a… Personal joke, I suppose? It’s silly, sorry, I didn’t mean to bother-“
“No!” He says quickly – you chance a glance towards him, and you’re almost shocked at how scarlet his face has become. “I, uh, no, no, I mean – I’d be a lousy newsie if I said no to a hundred papes…”
He pulls his entire stack out of his bag and pushes it into your arms. You grin, cradling the papers like a prize.
“Gosh, you’re my hero!” You laugh without thinking as you fish the change out of your pocket. “I sure hope you stick around, that just saved me twenty minutes!”
You slide your hand over his and slot the coins into his palm. You try not to shiver as you feel his callouses brushing your skin. He’s staring at you, you realize, mouth parted and eyes wide, and you feel your face beginning to warm up. Goodness, what a state you’ve made of yourself – there’s still pollen on your fingers, no doubt there are stray petals in your hair, and you’ve gone running into a newsboy and taking all his papers and – Lord, this is not how Fridays are meant to go.
“Sorry.” You say sheepishly. The boy quirks his brows, chuckling inquisitively.
“F’r what?” He asks. “Ya just sold me out and the lunch rush ain’t even hit yet, I…” He swallows and tangles his hand around the strap of his bag. “Thanks, uh…?”
“Oh!” You gasp. “I beg your pardon, I’m so rude – [Y/N].” You stick your hand out, curtsying as best you can with a stack of papers balanced in the crook of your elbow. “[Y/N] [L/N].”
The boy makes a noise, half-chuckle, half… Something else, and clasps his calloused fingers around yours.
“Albert DaSilva.”
Now that he’s looking at you properly, not ducking his head or avoiding your gaze, you can make out the subtle twinges of bluebeard-grey that dapple around the ring of his iris, little gleams in the sunlight. DaSilva, indeed.
“Well,” you smile sheepishly, “it’s a pleasure to meet you, Albert DaSilva.”
His grip tightens by a fraction as his eyes widen, just a twitch. You frown at his sudden awkwardness, glancing at your hands and-
“Oh!” You pull your hand away – he immediately yanks his own back like you’ve pricked him. “Oh, goodness, I’m sorry, I got pollen all over you!”
Albert blinks, holding up his fingers and peering at the yellow dust clinging to his skin.
“Oh, uh – nah, ain’t no big deal,” he says quietly, glancing at you through his feathery lashes. “I pro’lly-“ he blanches as he looks at your hands. “Aw, shit, I got ink on ya! Ah-!” He tenses again, his whole body going suddenly ramrod straight. “Fuck, I said shit – dammit-!”
You can’t help it – you laugh. It’s all just so absurd, so strange, so not what was meant to happen today. And you like it. It’s ridiculous and stupid and, against all reason, you like it, this bizarre newsboy who’s landed on your doorstep. He watches you as you giggle, positively perplexed, and chuckles awkwardly alongside you.
“I, um,” you manage to say between little giggles. “I-I should really get back inside.”
Albert nods, swallowing hard enough to make his Adams apple bob.
“Yeah, uh – s’pose I should go back to the Square.” He smiles smugly to himself. “Hell, I got a whole day off today!”
You snicker again, feeling just a bit proud of yourself for being the one to make him smile like that.
“Well…” You hug the paper stack to your chest, trying to hide your expression – you must look like a dope, giggling like a fool over a boy you just met. “Perhaps I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
Because it would be convenient, of course. That’s the only reason you ask, for the convenience – it’d beat walking all the way to the Promenade and walking all the way back with a stack of papers, having a newsie so close. That’s why you ask. Not because of lambs or cornflowers or any other ridiculous reason. Still, Albert looks almost surprised that you asked, eyes wide and pretty and nooononono, that’s not what you should be noticing right now!
“I – Yes!” He says it far too loud, and realizes that unfortunate fact quite suddenly, slapping a palm over one red cheek. “I mean, uh, yeah. Cool. Sounds good.”
You bounce on your toes and offer him another sheepish farewell before ducking back into your shop, feeling far too warm despite the breezy spring weather – and you realize with a twinge of fear that your routine is about to become very, very different, in ways that you can’t possibly expect.
You bite your lip as you fuss over your arrangements. This was why you always read yesterdays paper, for goodness’ sake – there’s no surprises when you know what’s coming. Now, you’re going in blind, and it’s – it’s scary.
But then you think about Albert. All the little peculiarities you’ve found out about him in the span of just ten minutes.
It could be a bit fun, too, you suppose.
You go on like that for a while, you and Albert. He becomes a fixture of the store, as permanent as the dried flowers in the window, or the Little Lamb sign swinging overhead. You hear him when the door swings open, barking a headline, and you see him through the window, wandering up and down the storefront, his dandelion-mane ruffling in the breeze.
You try not to get to attached. It’d be like naming a freshly picked flower while knowing full well that within a week, it’d be withered and gone. But you can’t help it. You liked your old routine, you really did – you liked the gentle monotony of your cozy little shop, you liked wandering the shelves and fussing over the flowers, you liked making polite conversation with the customers, from the bashful lovers planning a proposal to the suave businessmen looking to surprise their spouse, to even the flustered housekeepers running errands for their mistresses. But now there’s Albert, rough and unkempt Albert, sprouting between the cracks of your life like a stubborn thistle, prickly and rough around the edges, but… Then he’ll hold the door for you when you’re stumbling out, juggling an armful of flowers. Then he’ll persuade some passer-by on the street to stop in the shop after they buy a paper. Then he’ll lug a whole stack of papers over every Friday and drop them off at the door for you, offering you a stiff smile as he tips his cap.
“You’re an angel.” You say gratefully as you press the dimes into his palm. “I used to have to walk all the way to Park Row and back for these. I’d barely have a lunch break at all!”
Albert nodded wordlessly as he fumbled over the coins, almost dropping one before he shoved them into his bag, face flushed and rosy. Perhaps you were being clingy, but you were beginning to get a bit concerned over how red Albert was all the time – sunburn, perhaps? You knew he was pale, but it didn’t seem right for him to be so flushed all the time…
“Try walkin’ all day,” he chuckles, a bit stiltedly. “M’ready t’keel over by the time the second bell rolls ‘round.”
And that sticks with you as you fidget around your little apartment above your shop. You know Albert didn’t mean anything by it – you’d never heard him complain once, not after a long day’s work, not when he heaved a stack of papers all the way down to the Financial District every week, not even when you got distracted by your keys or your flowers or whatever else and went knocking into him as you exited the Little Lamb. Perhaps he just didn’t want to tell you about stuff like that – it’s not like you know him particularly well, you suppose. Still, it didn’t feel right, having him work so hard for so little.
You frown at your butterknife as you prepare your lunch, and chance a glance towards your open window. If you strain your ears over the bustle of the street, you can hear Albert hawking away.
You shouldn’t get attached. You really shouldn’t. You can pick a flower and sear the stems or press it between books or dry it from the ceiling but eventually, it’ll still wilt.
Against your better judgement, you poke out of your shop with a wrapped sandwich in one hand and a tin mug of coffee in the other.
“Afternoon.” You try to smile away the tension in your shoulders. Albert glances over his shoulder, then double-takes, spinning around like a puppet whose strings have gotten tangled.
“Uh – yeah!” He blurts, then stiffens like he’s stubbed his toe. “I mean – afternoon! Again. Not, not that it’s afternoon again, just I – I already – you already-“
“No, I got it.” You say gently, bouncing anxiously on your toes. “Afternoon, again.”
You bite your lip and, before you can lose your nerve, shove the food towards him.
“For you.” You mumble towards the floor. “Y’know, a – a lunch break. Since you don’t normally… Get one.”
Albert stares from the sandwich to the coffee to you and back again. You can feel yourself sweating. God, this was a ridiculous idea. A newsie doesn’t want charity, for goodness’ sake, they just want to finish their shift and rest, like any other working kid in this city, they don’t want someone – waiting on them like a nursemaid, they-
Albert tentatively wraps his hand around the sandwich, his fingers brushing yours as he does so, leaving a little static twinge in their wake.
“Thank you.” He says softly, staring at you like you’re something he’s never seen before. You can feel your face warming up, and you have to force yourself to look away.
“It’s only chicken.” You ramble. “A-And lettuce, I didn’t – I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I just-“
“It’s good.” Albert smiles at the paltry sandwich wrapped in parchment paper, and glances up at you with those cornflower eyes. “It’s really good.”
You feel your throat go tight. With stiff limbs, you shove the coffee towards him, a drop spilling over the rim.
“And coffee!” You say far too quickly. “I, um – I hope you like milk.”
Albert cups the tin mug between his hands and blinks.
“It’s hot.” He murmurs. His nose twitches – bunny-like, you think distantly, and then you chase away that thought with a stick because that is not what you’re here to do – and he beams. “It smells good!”
“Oh!” You smile. “Well, um – I hope it tastes the same, then.”
“I ain’t ever had coffee that weren’t stale.” Albert looks at you with a wide grin. “You’re… Thank you.”
You can feel warmth blossoming in your chest, bursting outwards like snowdrops after winter-
“Haveagooddayniceseeingyoubye!” is all you manage to blurt out before scurrying back into The Little Lamb.
Not getting attached, you tell yourself as you sweep the shop floor (to no avail, there’s not a speck of dust left, you’ve been sweeping for nearly thirty minutes now to avoid looking out the window). You are not getting attached.
(But if you chance a glance at Albert sipping his coffee and sighing, or smiling as he savours a bite of his sandwich… Well, who’s to say?)
Despite your best efforts, Albert becomes a fixed part of your routine. You bring him lunch every day. Sometimes you’ll even eat together, leaning against the window display and chatting about nothing at all. You’ll usher him into the shop when it rains (“Honestly, Albert, who would buy papers in this weather?” “Someone without an umbrella, I guess.”) and you’ll show him your floriography books, from Floral Poetry to Les langage des Fleurs (although you try not to read that one too often, since Albert’s face goes all funny when you read the French – perhaps it sounds strange to him). You’ll point out the different meanings, the different messages that can be spelt through each blossom, and he’ll nod and watch you like you’re actually saying something important. It was nice, being able to talk to someone and knowing that what you said mattered to them. You’d even brought him an aloe plant one morning.
(“For your skin.” You smiled, breaking off a leaf and scooping sap onto your finger. “See?”
Albert frowned, wrinkling his nose at the gooey gel.
“My skin?”
“You know.” You gestured to his cheeks. “Your sunburn. I’m sure it’s uncomfortable to be selling like that – this’ll clear it right up! Here, just like this…”
You swept your fingers over Albert’s face, rubbing in the gel as gently as you could, so as not to irritate his skin. He was already going crimson, the poor thing – honestly, you loathed to think about how uncomfortable he must’ve been.
“I – uh – yeah!” He squeaked. “Yeah… Sunburn.”)
It’s stupid. It’s so incredibly stupid, you know precisely how this story will go. Albert’s a newsie, the entire nature of his job is temporary. As soon as the spring crowds die down, he’ll go looking for a better place to sell, and then a better place after that, and another after that. It’s simply the way of it. But selfishly, you like having him here. You’ve grown used to your little lunch visits, to the Friday drop-offs, to his permanently red cheeks and his cornflower eyes. You tried to be sensible, you really did, but Albert had gone and nestled himself in your chest anyways, creeping around your heart like morning glory – and you just hadn’t the strength to cut him away.
Seasons change. People change. Flowers bloom anyways. But you’ve gone and grown around him like ivy on oak, except oak doesn’t get to wander off to greener pastures when it needs to, so… So where does that leave you?
Well, you didn’t know the answer to that question just yet. You suppose you’ll just… Have to cope. So you cope. You go about your day, you tend to your flowers, you arrange your bouquets – and when the Little Lamb sign starts creaking around a patch of rust, you fix that, too.
Replacing the chains is always a pain. It’s finicky work, and you hate having to use the stepladder on the street – it sways with every little breeze, teetering left and right as you sway for balance. You grit your teeth and tighten the chain link around the clasp in the sign, gripping your pliers with white knuckles and pointedly ignoring the painted dandelion in the corner of the sign, absolutely not thinking about what the fluffy orange centre reminds you of.
“Right.” You mutter as you pull gently on the chain. It holds secure, without a creak, and you smile to yourself. “Job done.”
And now to-
“Extry, extry, sweetheart leaves idiot gawkin’ on the sidewalk, read all about it!”
You shriek at the sudden noise, the stepladder lurching beneath you as you stumble backwards, and the sign’s slipped out from under your grasp and your pliers have gone flying and now you’re falling and God, this is why you hate chain-repair days-!
You land with a soft – soft? – flop, a firm something stumbling beneath you as it braces, holding you close. Arms, you realize. Strong, bare arms, which is ridiculous because only a fool wouldn’t wear sleeves in spring, and-
Oh.
Oh, dear.
You glance up, your nose bumping against another, as your eyes meet cornflower blue.
“Y’okay?” Albert asks hurriedly. “I was gonna wait, y’looked busy, but fuckin’ Racer, he’s… Um…”
His rambling begins to slow as he peers down at you, and you’re overcome with a very silly urge to trace a fingertip over his freckles.
“Hi.” Albert says quietly, close enough for you to feel his whisper on your skin.
“Oh…” You manage to squeak around your dry throat. “Hi.”
“Oooh, hold it right there, Albie!” You hear someone say, their smile imprinted in the words, and you know Albert’s realized at exactly the same time you have that he is holding you the same way a groom cradles his newlywed. You both make a similar bastardized shriek as you scramble out of his arms and Albert backs away like he’s about to get attacked, holding his hands up in a gesture of apology or surrender or – oh, hell, who knows?!
“Al-bert!” That same voice whines petulantly – you whip around, face flaming, to see another newsie, tall and curly and grinning like a mischievous sprite, who’s holding his hands in such a way that his fingers make a rectangle, kind of like a camera. “I coulda gotten you’s on the front page with a shot like that! Perfect li’l pit’cha o’ domesticity, eh?”
“Wouldja shaddup?!” Albert snaps, and you don’t have to turn around to know his face is redder than a rosebud. “God, this is why-!”
“Racetrack Higgins, m’darlin’!” The other boy says just on the verge of obnoxiously, striding up to you and proffering his hand with an exaggerated bow. “A veritable pleasure to meet’cha!”
You can’t help laughing awkwardly at the way he stretches his voice over the unfamiliar words – very-table play-sure – and slip your hand into his.
“And, um, you as well, Mister Hig-“
You barely finish before he’s pressing the back of your hand to his mouth with an over-the-top smack of his lips. You squeak and yank your hand away hard enough to make you stumble, bumping into Albert’s front.
“Race!”
“Aw, was that Mister Higginsya called me?” Racetrack – Racetrack, what a peculiar name – grins at you, and you feel rather like a lamb about to be eaten. “Albie, ya hit it outta the park w’this one!”
“Oh, just-!” Albert slaps his shoulder, forcing the other boy away from you. “Lay off’a them, wouldja?!”
“M’only bein’ a gent, Albie! Maybe y’should learn a thing or two, might impress ‘em-!”
“Racer, if you don’t stop talkin’ right now-!”
“Well, whateva’ happened t’romance-!”
You watch, dumbfounded, as the two begin to scuffle, jabbing elbows and kicking shins until Albert manages to lock Race’s head under his arm and Race is snapping his teeth to try and bite at Albert’s wrist (“Ah, ya shit, get offa me!” “Y’gerroffa-mm!” “Quit talkin’ w’my hand in ya mouth, ya freak!”), and then they spin awkwardly in your direction, tangled in their playfighting, and realize you’re still stood there watching.
“Hello.” You wave your hand awkwardly. With the decency to look a little bit ashamed, Race spits out Albert’s wrist.
“Sorry to cause a scene, darlin’!” He laughs sheepishly. “Only that Albert talks about this place so much, I had to see it for myself – and c’mon, have you seen the fella?” He gestures vaguely in Albert’s direction. “Fuckin’ brute. Only natural for him to start wailin’ on a guy, y’know?” He twirls his finger around his temple. “Unhinged.”
“I – Race!” Albert yelps. “Don’t say shit like – stuff like-!”
You laugh, and the two go quiet.
“That’s funny,” you smile, hoping to make a good impression after – all that. “I can see why you’re such good friends.”
“Uh.” Race blinks owlishly. “I weren’t jokin’. He stole my cigar this morning.”
You frown.
“Albert doesn’t smoke.”
“Well – yeah.” Says Race, like it’s obvious. “He just… Takes shit.”
You laugh at his joke, rolling your eyes.
“Yep, that’s Albert!” You giggle. “Reeaaal barbarian, huh?”
Race stares from you to Albert, who’s blush is growing darker by the second.
“What kinda fuckin’ witchcraft have you been sellin’ this kid-“
“Park!” Albert yells, clutching at his friend’s collar as if Race were a priest offering salvation. You stall, taken off guard again – truly, what is happening today? – when Race snaps his fingers with a smile.
“Oh, yeah!” He grins, digging his elbow into Albert’s side. “Yeah, that’s what we came for, ain’t it, Albie?”
Albert’s face drops, as if he’s suddenly realized something terrible.
“Wait, noooo,” he hisses, tugging at Race’s sleeve. “Nonono, Race-!”
“What you came for?” You ask curiously. Of course, it’s Sunday – everywhere’s closed for the Church services, that’s why you chose to do the repairs today. They couldn’t be here to sell. Perhaps they were buying flowers for a sweetheart? You felt your stomach drop. Please don’t let Albert be here for flowers.
“Well,” Race drawls as Albert yanks desperately on his sleeve. “We was just in the neighbourhood, y’know, it bein’ Sunday an’ all, an’ the fellas were all thinkin’ we’d hit up the park! And then Albie here-“ he smirks, draping an arm over Albert’s shoulder, who’s staring at the floor like he’s praying for it to eat him, “goes and mentions how close that is to his new favourite florists! So we was wonderin’-”
“Racer-!”
“If this favourite florist o’ his would wanna accompany some humble newsboys,” he places a hand on his chest and bows comically deep, “to the good ol’ City Hall gardens.”
“Favourite?” You laugh sheepishly – your stomach flips as you fixate on the word. “Well, I – I don’t suppose there are any others, so…”
“Oh, but of course!” Race says emphatically, as if the two of you are telling a joke together. “You’re just irreplaceable, ain’t they, Albert?”
Albert slaps a hand over his mouth and makes a noise like he’s in pain. You wince sympathetically, stepping forward to take a look.
“Albert, your face! Have you been using the aloe I gave you?”
Race’s head perks up like a dog smelling a bone.
“Well, aloe there,” he grins, “what’s this I hear? Givin’ gifts, are we?”
“No, no, not like that!” You say quickly, your voice trilling with nerves. “I just – well, Albert always gets so sunburnt, poor thing-“
“Oh, does he?” Race’s voice pitches high with glee as Albert makes another pained moan. “Well, we can’t have poor Albert getting sunburnt, can we?”
“Racer, I am begging you to shut! Up!” Albert snaps, and you realize – oh, damn it all, you’re embarrassing him. The last thing Albert of all people would want is someone fussing over him in front of his friend.
“Um – the park!” You say quickly, trying to change the subject – Albert shoots you a soft, grateful look, and you can’t help but melt a little. “Yes, I’d love to go, if – if it’s not too much trouble…“ You glance towards your closed-up shop, clicking your tongue. “Would you mind terribly if I brought some work with me? I-I just got some fresh flowers, I wanted to make them into crowns come Monday – it won’t be too distracting!”
“Weeell, we’ll just have to see about that, eh, Albert?” Race smirks, and you frown as you try to decipher what he means – apparently, it’s deserving of a quick smack to the shoulder, though, because that’s precisely what Albert gives him. “Ooh, someone’s testy! Don’tcha worry, I’ll leave ya to it.” He makes his way up the street towards Park Row. “Don’t go gettin’ distracted, though!”
You feel your cheeks warming as he presses on the word, distracted – goodness, had you really been that obvious? – and Albert grumbles under his breath as you duck into your shop for your flowers. You gather the bundles in your arms, your eyes just peeking out over the various blooms, and skitter out the door, not wanting to keep him waiting. You walk in awkward silence, avoiding each other’s gaze as Race prances ahead of you both, and you curse yourself for getting so stupidly attached.
You don’t talk for what feels like ages, not until you reach the park. The newsboys are all eager to meet you, grinning and shaking your hands and making comments that you don’t quite understand, but seem to drive Albert up the wall. You wince every time one of the boys says something to you that makes Albert grit his teeth – you don’t know what you’re doing wrong, but it has to be something.
It's only later, when you’re sat on the grass fidgeting with your flower crowns, Albert sitting cross-legged and stiff next to you, that you just can’t take it anymore.
“Sorry.” You say quickly, stumbling over the words, and Albert looks at you, his tense face suddenly soft.
“F’r what?”
“I, um…” You clear your throat into your fist. “I-I didn’t mean to be so… You know. Clingy? I just – you’re my friend, and I don’t want you getting hurt, I mean, hawking’s got to be hard work, all that walking, and you said you don’t get much lunch-“
“[Y/N],” Albert says firmly, enough to make your voice catch in your throat. He pinks as you look at him and glances at the floor instead. “Don’t go worryin’ ‘bout that, yeah? Just the fellas bein’ jerks is all, never know when to shaddup.”
You hum, not quite a response, and make sure to keep your hands clasped in front of you so you don’t invade Albert’s space. You can feel him watching you, his stare burning your skin, and he sighs frustratedly.
“Aw, c’mon, [Y/N], I…” His voice stops and stutters in his throat. He sighs, choosing instead to knock his shoulder against yours – the touch sets you alight. “You don’t gotta be worried ‘bout that, it… It’s nice. That’cha wanna take care o’me. Ain’t many folks that do, so…”
You smile, warmth blossoming in your chest.
“Well, that’s nonsense, then.” You say matter-of-factly as you weave the stem of a red tulip around your fingers. “Caring for you’s rather easy.”
The two of you go quiet again – a comfortable silence this time, simply basking in each other’s existence. You pluck a lady’s mantle from your collection of blooms, twisting the dusky pink against the red of the tulip.
“Those, uh…” Albert says quietly, so as not to break the peaceful tranquillity that’s grown between you both. “Those mean comfort, don’t they?”
“They do.” You nod, your heart fluttering in your chest – he remembered.
“And the tulips,” he continues, his voice getting a bit steadier, “those mean ‘good health’, right?”
You giggle under your breath.
“Almost. Those were pink tulips – these are red, see?” You hold the crown up to his eyeline. “Red tulips mean, uh – true love.” You have to look away as you say it, can’t bear to look into Albert’s eyes as the word love falls out of your lips. “And I’m going to add some Sweet William, too, for gallantry – the meaning’s a bit more masculine for that one, so if you put them all together, you get…”
Your eyes flick towards Albert, landing on his freckles before you force yourself to look away again.
“You get, um… Well, a hope, I suppose.”
Albert says nothing, only cocks his head towards you in invitation. Keep going. I’m listening.
“A hope for… For someone kind,” you say quietly, “and chivalrous, who – who comforts you and… Keeps you safe.”
You can feel him staring. You grab a Sweet William and start threading it into the crown, out of sheer need for something, anything else to do.
“How d’you do that?” Albert asks curiously. “The crowns n’ stuff.”
Thank God, you think to yourself, eagerly snatching up the subject change.
“It’s quite simple, actually – look, I’ll show you.”
You smile as you press his fingers underneath yours – you so loved sharing your knowledge of flowers with Albert. You were certain he didn’t understand a lick of it, but he always listened no matter what. Like it mattered.
“So, you just twist here,” you murmur as the two of you hold the crown together, “and you sort of – lock it under the second stem there, and you…”
You try to help him weave the stems around each other, your fingertips skimming over Albert’s knuckles, but you suppose doing such finnicky work with two sets of hands overcomplicated the whole thing, because the crown fumbles out from Albert’s grip.
“Ah, shit, sorry!” He winces. “God, it ain’t broken, is it?”
“Don’t worry about it!” You pat his shoulder reassuringly as you rescue the crown. “It’s difficult at first. Oh, I know!” You point at a cluster of sunshine-yellow growing in the park. “Would you grab me those dandelions? They’re much easier to work with. The stalks are more flexible, and they don’t snap so easily – it’s how I learned when I was a kid.”
Albert nods obediently, scurrying off to gather two fistfuls of dandelions.
“There we are – here, do what I do.”
The two of you crowd into each other as Albert follows your movements, looping one stem underneath the other and then weaving it back around the blossom, locking it into place.
“Hey, I did it!” Albert grins triumphantly. You knock your shoulder against his, just as he’d done to you.
“See? Easy.”
You half expect him to leave it after that – most boys didn’t find weaving flower crowns to be a particularly manly activity, and after how embarrassed Albert had been today, you were sure he wouldn’t want his friends to see him playing with flowers – but he stays. He grabs another stem and repeats the movement, chaining them together, one after the other. You smile to yourself – you can’t bring yourself to not be charmed. It’s sweet, how eager he is, the way his tongue pokes out as he threads the stems into loops.
“I just love dandelions.” You say quietly into the breeze, almost unaware that you’d even said it. “They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”
Albert looks up from his work and frowns.
“Seriously?” He quirks a small smile. “Didn’t think you’d like weeds all that much.”
You scoff, the sound drawing his attention.
“Weed is a word made up by debutantes.” You say pettily. “It’s their way of separating what’s common to make pretty things seem prettier. But they’re all plants at the end of the day.”
You glance over at Albert’s clumsy crown and smile, tracing a finger over the fluffy centre of a dandelion.
“And dandelions are so cheerful,” you murmur peacefully, rubbing pollen between your thumb and forefinger. “They grow wherever they like, and no one can get them not to. Ask any gardener – you pull one up, and ten more grow back. They’re resilient. I bet the next time we come back here, they’ll be everywhere.”
You lift a loose blossom to your nose and breathe in the bittersweet scent.
“They don’t even have meanings, you know.” You say wistfully. “Not in any of my books. People just decided, oh, that’s a weed, and now… Now they don’t mean anything.” You brush your thumb over the feathery petals and smile as they tickle your skin. “But they mean something to me.”
Albert’s quiet beside you, and you suddenly feel exposed.
“Sorry,” you chuckle, drawing away from him. “Suppose that’s a bit strange, um – I’ll just-”
You’re about to turn back to your flower crown when a calloused hand slides against your jaw. Your breath hitches as Albert turns your face towards his, his thumb drifting over your cheekbone until it brushes over your nose – and as he pulls away, you see the pad of his thumb’s stained yellow.
“You, uh,” he says quietly, his cheeks going pink in the sun, “y’had some pollen.”
“Oh!” You laugh stiltedly. “Gosh, um – sorry.”
“Nah,” Albert shrugs as he fiddles with his crown. “S’cute.”
You feel yourself going warm, even with the evening breeze. Your throat makes a small squeaking sound, and you try to make yourself focus on your crown when you hear Albert make a dissatisfied noise next to you.
“Problem?” You ask tentatively, and he holds up a little white puffball in response.
“Think this one’s shot.” He mutters, about to chuck it when you grab his wrist.
“Don’t waste it! It’s a clock.”
Albert blinks and turns to frown at the flower.
“Uh…” He tilts his head as he examines the fluffy ball of seeds. “How?”
“No – not that kind of clock,” you explain, “a dandelion clock. Here, hold it here-” You pull the little bloom between the two of you. “We’ll share it, see? Make a wish and, on the count of three, blow off the seeds. Ready?”
“I, uh-“ Albert stammers. “I guess?”
“Great.” You shuffle a bit closer and close your eyes. “Okay – one, two, three.”
You lean forward and blow softly, the tiny seeds billowing away on the breeze. You feel one tickle your nose and you laugh softly, opening your eyes to bat it away when- oh.
Albert’s… Close. Closer than before, even closer than the first time – the naked bud of the dandelion rests between the two of you, the only thing separating your slightly parted lips from his. In the evening breeze, it sways just enough to brush against your lower lip, Albert’s eyes flicking toward the movement, and you can’t help but think about how easy it’d be to just shift forward ever so slightly and-
“Well what’cha waitin’ for, Albie, don’t leave ‘em hangin’!”
You jolt backwards, nearly falling onto the grass as Albert leaps to his feet.
“Racer, I am gonna teach you such a lesson-!”
He sprints across the green to tackle the other boy to the floor, and while you quietly mourn the loss of Albert’s warm weight next to you, you can’t help but be grateful for the distraction – at least this way he won’t notice you flopping into the grass and groaning pathetically.
After you somehow regain your composure (and Albert as appropriately pummelled Racec), he walks you home, the two of you walking dutifully on opposite ends of the sidewalk, as if simply brushing one another’s clothes will set you both aflame.
“I had fun,” you say quietly as you reach The Little Lamb. “Even if it was…”
You try to find a word to describe how being around Albert makes you feel, but nothing seems to capture it.
“Yeah.” Albert nods, smiling sheepishly at the floor. “Um – hey!” He says quickly, just as you turn to open the door. “I, um – I…”
“Albert?” You frown as he flounders. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah!” He nods vigorously. “Yeah, I just – I was wonderin’… Say if I, uh, wanted a flower that – that said, uh…” He stares at the step under your feet so intensely you worry he might shatter it. “That I – liked someone. A-A flower that said I… I really cared ‘bout someone and, and that maybe they cared ‘bout me, too. What…” He swallows, honey-thick, and chances a glance at you through his lashes. “What flower’d I need for that?”
You feel your stomach begin to sink.
Oaks and ivy, alright.
Morning glory around your heart.
“Well,” you try your best to smile, “if you want to be traditional, you’d only need something small – one or two flowers and a couple of herbs. White roses are a good one, they’re very…”
God, it felt like you were choking.
“Innocent.” You manage to say. “Sweet. A sort of – tentative love.”
Albert’s lips quirk into the softest smile.
“Yeah?”
“And – and hyacinths,” you say quickly, because you can’t bear to look at him smiling like that. “Blue ones. Those would work. And then you could cover it all in heather and lavender for good luck.”
“Hope.” Albert says quietly, staring at the flower crowns you have cradled in your arms. You clear your throat and shove yourself against the door, forcing your way inside – you have to get away, you just have to.
“Yes, well,” you slap a tight smile on your face, “perhaps you can come by tomorrow and – and I’ll have some for you.”
Albert stares at you through the threshold like he can’t believe his luck. Your chest aches.
“You’d… You’d do that?”
No, no, no-
“Of course!” You laugh, on the verge of hysterical. “I mean, if you’re going to go – go courting someone,” (the word tastes like ash on your tongue), “then who’s better to help you than your favourite florist?”
Albert blinks, his smile dropping.
“What?”
“Yes, I’ll have the perfect selection for you!” You smile, because you just don’t learn, do you? “Not like it’ll make much difference, of course, they’d be a fool to say no to you…”
“I-“ Albert’s eyes flicker back and forth, as if he’s watching something unravel and can’t quite stop it. “Wait, but-“
“I’ll see you tomorrow!”
You slam the door, and try to shut your stupid, horrid thoughts out with it.
God. You should’ve just gone to Park Row.
You spend that night lying in bed feeling sorry for yourself. It’s pitiful, yes, and painfully childish, but damn it all, you’re sad. You deserve to curl up and wallow for a bit. It serves you right, you suppose, doing exactly what you knew you shouldn’t’ve. It’s better to just stick to what you know. Colours and meanings and silly little facts that no one else but you care about. Getting your papers on Fridays, working alone on Sundays, not going around making lunch and getting attached to newsboys.
Why didn’t you just stick to yesterday’s news? To living in the background? To being the author of someone else’s love story? No one gets flowers for the florist, after all.
But then it’s morning, and… And Albert’s your friend. And if he loves someone, really loves someone, then you’re going to do your darnedest to get that person to love him right back. It’s what he deserves.
“There you are!” You smile as Albert pokes into the shop like a stray who’s unsure if he’s allowed on the furniture. Ugh, damn it all, he’s cute. “I have your flowers right here.”
You present them with a flourish, a pair of white roses entwined around a pale blue hyacinth, decorated with heather and lavender. You’ve trussed them up with lace and pretty pink tissue paper and they look splendid, thank you very much, because Albert deserves the best.
He smiles, something small and private and a little bit sad, and holds them preciously in his hands.
“Beautiful.” He murmurs, looking at you from over the blooms, and you try to keep your pulse from racing.
“Yes, well!” You say quickly, fumbling your fingers over your little pet project. “There’s also, uh-“
You shove it into his vest pocket before you can lose your nerve. Albert blinks, reaching up to brush a petal between his thumb and forefinger, the pads of which come away slightly smudged with ink. It’s a flower – well, not a real one, it’s actually a newspaper you’d fiddled and folded with until it took the shape of a rose, but… Well, you’d thought it’d look charming. Perhaps it was silly.
Albert chuffs out a small, disbelieving laugh, wrinkling his brow at the paper rose.
It was probably silly.
“Any fine gentleman looking to court needs a good boutonniere.” You mumble, a bit defeated. Ridiculous.
“I love it.” Says Albert, voice tender. He purses his lips, glancing from you to the bouquet for a moment before he plucks a sprig of lavender from the arrangement and slips it behind your ear.
“I – oh.” You murmur, feeling suddenly off-kilter as your cheeks begin to warm – and then your sensibilities come back to you. “Albert!” You scold him halfheartedly, swatting at his shoulder. “This is supposed to be for your sweetheart, you shouldn’t just go around wasting it! Go on, now, tell them what you want to say.”
“You’re perfect.” Albert says, then blinks suddenly as if waking up from a dream. “I – I mean-“
“Yes, yes, we can save the camellias for your next gift,” you mutter with a wave of your hand, as if you could brush away all your selfish thoughts. “Off you go, now!”
The next time Albert comes into the shop, you slap a smile on your face and ask him how it went, because you’re a good and not at all selfish friend, and Albert is very pleasing on the eye when he looks so wistfully in love.
“I just – I…” Albert flounders under your gaze, fidgeting with his hands, and your heart aches. Lovely boy, so nervous – you try not to envy whoever gets to see him this way. “What I wanna say – what I need to say-“
He tangles a hand in his puff of dandelion hair and groans.
“God, I just wanna be with ya!”
You’re almost taken aback by how desperate he is – and oh, don’t you just feel terrible now, envying the person who’s driving him so crazy. Honestly, you’re meant to be his friend. You smile sympathetically and pat his hand before you grab a cluster of rockfoil and press it between his fingers.
“It’s a bit peculiar,” you say reassuringly as he stares at the little white bells, “but rather charming.”
Albert makes a wounded noise, staring at you like you’ve just slapped him.
“Yeah, well – you’d know all ‘bout that, wouldn’tcha?” He huffs, more to himself than to you, before rushing out of the store and leaving you with a thousand different questions.
“Good… luck?” You try to say, but he only offers you a frustrated yell in return.
After that, Albert comes into the shop almost every day.
“I’m crazy for ya.”
You’d offer him a yellow pansy.
“I think about’cha all the time.”
You’d smile and hand him a blue salvia.
“I think I like ya more ‘an anyone else I ever met.”
You’d tuck an apple blossom into his vest.
“I’m sure they’ll love it.” You’d say every time, offering him a reassuring grin – and every time, Albert would look at you as if he were drowning and all but sprint out the door.
This goes on for a while – Albert will burst into the shop like a man on a mission, report whatever message he wants to give his love, and you’ll dutifully hand him a flower that matches. You never made him pay – a fact you’d beat yourself up about later in bed, when you’re tired and feeling sorry for yourself – but you can’t help it. It’s sweet, how eager he is to get this right, how badly he wants to impress whoever this mystery person is. You can barely bring yourself to be jealous (which isn’t to say that you’re not, but you at least have the decency to feel bad about it).
And then one day, as you’re fussing over a cluster of stubborn chamomile blossoms, Albert bursts into the shop wielding an armful of flowers. It’s a veritable cacophony of colour, reds and purples and yellows all mixing together in a chaotic muddle of petals, leaves and stamens – and as you note the wrinkles on some of the petals, the bits of blight on some of the leaves, you wonder just how many of the flowers did Albert keep?
“Alright.” Albert says gruffly as he shoves the array of flowers onto your counter. He hovers a hand over it for a moment before grabbing one at random.
“Honeysuckle!” He snaps, shoving the yellow-pink blossom into your hand. “Devotion.”
Before you can ask how many he’d like, he hands you a gillyflower.
“And that – that means ya beautiful.” He picks up stem after stem, slotting them into your fingers. “Pink camellia, I – I-I’m longin’ for ya. White lillies, m’love’s pure, bluebells, my love’s constant, and, um-“ He flounders for a moment, staring stubbornly at the wooden countertop before he shoves a red carnation at you.
“My – m’heart aches for ya.”
You stare at the nimbus of flowers in your hands, glancing from it to Albert. He’s redder than his hair, up to his ears and down to his neck, and he looks downright terrified, fidgeting on the spot, his eyes darting between you and the floor.
“I mean…” You say slowly, and he stares at you with wide eyes. “It’s a little chaotic, but… I can make a bouquet? I-I might have to charge you this time around, ‘cause there’s so many, but-“
Albert shoves his heads into his hands and lets out a noise between a groan and a downright scream.
“Alright!” He snaps, planting his hands on the counter. “What flowers ya got that say I love you, ya stupid florist, now please, God, please can you understand what I’m tryna tell ya, ‘cause I can’t keep on bringin’ flowers t’the lodgin’ house wi’ nowhere to put ‘em!”
You freeze, rigid-still. You open your mouth once, twice, and nothing comes out. Your hands tremble against cool stalks and you realize suddenly that Albert’s muddled bouquet is still in your hands.
“One… One moment.” You say quietly with a raised finger, before scurrying to the door. Cradling your bouquet in the crook of your elbow, you use your free hand to close it, then lock, then latch, then flip the sign to ‘closed’. You take a shuddering breath and turn around – Albert’s still watching you. He’s wide eyed, his fists clenched at his sides and his jaw held tight, as if it’d been wired shut – and you almost laugh giddily because all this time, you’d assumed he was posturing, trying to big himself up because he felt uncomfortable being in such a frilly, dainty shop, surrounded by petals and lace, but no. All this time – all this time – he’d been nervous.
You take careful steps toward him, like approaching a stray dog. His spine goes more rigid with each clip of your foot against the hardwood floors, his entire body bickering between ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ and landing on a confused, frightened ‘freeze’ instead. As you reach him, you pluck a single garden daisy from the fragrant shelves and tuck it behind his ear.
“That, um,” you murmur, realizing a touch too late how close you’ve become. “That means-“
“I share your sediment.” Albert breathes, and you duck your head with a small giggle.
“Sentiment,” You correct – his blush goes ever-darker and, out of fear that he may combust if you don’t, you quickly add, “but yes.”
Albert sways forward, almost unthinkingly, like a reed in the wind. He catches himself and clears his throat, but before he can sway away, you duck forward and, gently, featherlight, press your mouth to his. It’s soft and shy, barely lasting a second – more of a petal-brush than anything else – but the noise it pulls out of Albert – something half-blissful, half-wounded – from deep in the hollow of his throat adds more weight to the gesture than you could’ve ever hoped. The tension rushes out of his shoulders in a heavy breath as he all but staggers, slapping his hand against the counter to keep himself upright and pressing a hand to his forehead.
“Hooooly hell,” he says raggedly. “God, I ain’t dreamin’, am I?”
He says it to his hands, staring at them suspiciously like they’re trying to fool him – you slip your own hand into his and squeeze tight.
“Feels real.” You smile gently, a smile that he returns tenfold.
“God,” he says again, and you’re inclined to agree. He leans in hesitantly, looking carefully into your eyes until you nod, and he kisses you – still chaste and sweet, but firmer than the previous. It’s not a questioning touch, it’s something that roots you to the spot, grounds you, whispers yes, this is real.
Albert’s grinning when you separate. He brushes a fingertip over the daisy in his hair and chuffs out a breathy laugh.
“I weren’t kiddin’, y’know,” he mumbles. “Got too damn many o’ these things.”
You roll your eyes.
“You could’ve just not asked for them.”
“Yeah, well, I tried that, and you thought I was askin’ for flowers anyway!” Albert huffs, pouting at the floor. “The fellas ain’t lettin’ me live it down. Keep sayin’ I’m the one meant t’be gettin’ you flowers, not the other way ‘round.”
You giggle, knocking your forehead affectionately against his.
“So that’s true?” You ask coyly, grinning as he blushes again. “Flowers at the lodging house with nowhere to put ‘em?”
Albert tips his head back and groans.
“They’re everywheeeere!” He whines. “Next to my bed, on the fire escape, in the kitchen-!”
You laugh at the absurdity of it all.
“Why didn’t you just give them away?”
“Wh- I weren’t gonna do that!” Albert says indignantly, as if you’d suggested selling his firstborn child. He blushes once he realizes his overreaction and looks away, pouting at the wall. “They were gifts.”
You giggle, making him groan towards the ceiling.
“This ain’t fair.” He huffs, slumping forward so that his chin rests upon your shoulder. You’re struck by the image of a tired beagle flopping its head on its owner’s lap, and can’t help but giggle again. “I ain’t usually like this.”
With just a touch of hesitation, you reach your hand upwards to fiddle with his dandelion hair. Albert hums, pleased, nuzzling against your temple.
“Like what, petal?” You say quietly against his ear, and with him resting his cheek against you, you can feel the way his jaw clenches.
“Like – argh, c’mon!” He whines. “Y’can’t just – say stuff like that! God, only you…” He mutters petulantly, wrapping his arms around your waist as he hides his face in the crook of your neck. “Swear, if you were anyone else… Jus’ some stranger on the street, I’d have no problem gettin’ ya t’blush, but noooo!” He tips his head back with an exaggerated eyeroll. “No, you just gotta go fallin’ right into me, lookin’ all cute, talkin’ all pretty, makin’ me forget which way’s up!” He glares at you with no true heat. “Unfair.”
“You’re unfair!” You laugh around your astonishment, raising up a hand in a poor attempt to hide your darkening face. “Catching me like something right out of a novel, being so – so…” You close your eyes with a soft sigh and lean forward, bumping your nose against his and savouring the contact. “Unexpected.”
You feel more than hear Albert’s scoff, a warm puff of air against your lips.
“Like you can talk.” He mutters, shifting just enough to nuzzle against you. “Race’s been makin’ fun a’me for days, tellin’ me to get my shit together, but how’m I meant’a do that-!” You laugh against him, so close, the warmth mingling between your mouths. “When you’re always fuckin’ – flower crowns and dandelions and…”
His hands skim over your waist, his callouses brushing your skin through the fabric, and you can’t help but gasp lightly. You’re close enough that the movement brushes your mouth against his, your cupid’s bow just barely catching on his, and another noise blossoms from his chest, wanton and desperate, as he presses your lips together, as if it’s the only thing he could possibly do. You flutter against him, your hands skimming down his shirt, and he hums softly, the noise running through you until it settles inside your chest. He traces the seam of your lips, slow and soft, savouring the feeling, and gently, as if afraid to spook you, brushes the tip of his tongue against yours. You gasp into his mouth, but he doesn’t take advantage – he pulls away, just barely, enough for your cupid’s bow to rest on his bottom lip, not quite breaking the kiss, but not quite continuing. Your eyes slip open – just barely – as his do, the two of you looking at each other for reassurance. He chuckles breathily, looking away in a manner you now realize is shy.
“God’s sake, [Y/N],” he whispers, his lips brushing yours as he speaks, “m’only human.”
Bashfully, all too aware of your inexperience, you nudge forward to meet him again. He hums once more, sweet and low, and presses a rough hand to the back of your head, tilting you just so. Tentatively, as if you’ll fade away if he moves too fast, you feel his tongue brush shyly against yours again. You make a noise you can’t quite describe, something small and soft, clinging to his shoulders while he presses a hand to the small of your back, trading tender, sipping kisses. It’s awkward – a bit foreign, a bit confused – but oh, it’s lovely.
Something sparks as he leans forward enough for you to bend backwards slightly at the waist, supported by his hand – and you can’t help but giggle.
“What?” Albert smiles curiously, the two of you still so close that your nose still bumps against his with every laugh. “Hey! C’mon, what is it? Ya makin’ a fella nervous, here.”
“Sorry,” you smile, and then you realize again, and burst into even more giggles. “It’s just – we did this before.”
Albert blinks at you owlishly.
“I, uh – don’t think we did?” He smiles, brow still furrowed, like you’re a puzzle he’s delighting over solving. “Think I’d remember if we did this-”
“The first time,” you’re wheezing now, because it truly is hilarious, “when we first met, when I fell and you grabbed me, I-“ your giggles trail off as your face begins to warm, “I-I remember thinking…”
You look away nervously, your laughter becoming shy.
“I was thinking it was awfully – awfully similar to, um – to the gentlemen who come into this shop… The way they hold their lovers after they give them their flowers.”
Albert blinks, glancing down at how he’s holding you – one hand behind your head, the other pressing on your spine, the slight bend of your waist – and his face burns red, from his roots to his neck.
“Uh – yeah,” he laughs breathlessly, “suppose it is a li’l… Yeah.” He draws away, making sure you’re upright before quickly stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I-I kinda…”
You smile as he stares stubbornly at the wall, one hand rubbing his neck sheepishly.
“I kinda thought the same thing.” He mumbles. “Not – not when it happened, when it happened I was thinkin’, y’know, wow, this person’s close, a-and beautiful, and – and…” His face looks almost painfully red now, carnation-crimson across the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, um – was on’y when I was havin’ dinner at the lodgin’ house I ach’lly realized that – that it’d – happened.”
You purse your lips into a line, trying to keep your smile from going too wide, and step forward, tapping your shoe against his shin.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he says, ducking his head. “I, um – I-I was pourin’ the gravy so long I spilled it all over the table. We ran out. Fellas all had to eat their chicken dry. Jack still won’t let me pour my own gravy.”
You laugh again, and so does he, less shy and more… Well, he still seems shy, but less scared, if that counts for anything.
“You, Albert DaSilva,” you grin at him, “are not what I expected you to be.”
He cocks his head.
“Well, now ya got me worried,” he smirks, “what’cha expect me t’be, sweetheart?”
You roll your eyes at the pet-name. There’s really no use in him trying to be suave now, not when you knew the truth.
“Big, bad newsie with his sleeves cut off, wandering around in nothing more than a vest and an undershirt?” You ask with an arched brow. “Wearing his hat backwards in spring, like a show-off, snapping at me to watch where I’m going before you go and catch me… And then you go and say I like lambs, like it’s obvious.”
Albert’s face goes almost comically blank as he remembers.
“God,” he cringes, pressing a hand over his eyes. “Shit, I can’t believe I said that. Only even tried to sell here ‘cause I figured it was a butcher place.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.” He nods shamefully. “Was hankerin’ for a leg o’ lamb, figured if I played my cards right I might land some mutton. Only stayed ‘cause I thought the sign was cute. Jesus, can’t believe I told’ja that.” He laughs beneath his hand. “I like lambs. God, I’m an idiot.”
You roll your eyes at your most ridiculous boy, and wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him close as you nuzzle against his neck.
“My idiot.”
You feel him clench again, as if the words had sent a bolt of lightning through him.
“I – you’re – yeah.” He settles on saying, sounding almost strangled. He holds you, runs his hands down your back, and lets the tension seep out of him. “Yeah…” He chuckles. “Your idiot.”
You both stand there for a moment, enjoying the warmth, swaying slightly as you breathe each other in.
“[Y/N],” you hear him say tentatively, “y’think, maybe – if you want – we could go to Jacobi’s?”
You try to not roll your eyes, because honestly, ‘if you want’, as if you could possibly want anything else. Ridiculous boy. Impossible boy.
“I-I get off work at noon,” Albert rambles, pinching your shirt between his fingers and rolling the fabric, committing every detail of you to memory. “So maybe I can swing by one day when you’re closin’, walk you down… If you want.”
You pull away with an exaggerated gasp and clutch your hand to your chest.
“Why, Albert DaSilva!” You say like a scandalized dame. “Without buying me flowers first?”
He stares at you for a moment as you hold your pose – and then you both laugh, full-bodied and creasing at the sides, and you must look like lunatics, laughing amongst the flowers, with rumpled clothes and messy hair and kiss-sore lips, clinging to each other like you’re about to collapse, but neither of you care. It’s just you two here, unexpectedly, by sheer chance. Chance and newspapers. It’s a ridiculous story, truly, but it’s yours, so who’s to care?
(And if that laughter turns to one, then two, then twenty more kisses – well, who’s to care about that, either?)
is there a part 5 of FFY??? if so please #needthat so bad💔💔💔💔 PLEASE you can take my firstborn child in exchange
school’s been kicking my ass, but i’m going to start writing this chapter soon. i’m glad you guys are still sticking around!!
much love, sorry for the wait ❤️❤️
FEIGNING FOR YA
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CHAPTER 5
pairing: luke castellan x fem!reader
summary: exam season is over and an overwhelming amount of emotions come out
warnings: luke’s pov! not proofread! slow burn, college au, smau, fake dating to dating, cursing, aged up! pjo charcters, parental expectations
a/n: no smau this chapter! kind of decided it wasn’t appropriate with the events going on
series list | next
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What is it that people say?
Love is a fickle thing?
Love was not fickle. It was torturous in all the right ways and the wrong ways. Luke has fallen victim to love, under its binding curse for so long now. He doesn’t know if he can keep up the act of being your fake boyfriend. It’s worse than just being your friend, because now he can hold your hand, but he knows, he knows deep in his heart—you won’t be his.
You’re best friends. Nothing more, nothing less
Even if his heart ached for more.
At first thought, he believed he was in love with Nancy Thompson. A sophomore in his freshman English class. Nancy sat on the opposite side of the room: the corner desk. She was just…so cool and collected.
He’d rave about how Nancy was the love of his life to you and how the light hit her just right or when she have this little quirk while thinking like the stupid teenage boy he was.
Luke asked Nancy to homecoming and was rejected. He wasn’t as butt hurt as he thought he’d be—especially not with you around to cheer him up.
He hadn’t noticed until the night of homecoming how pretty you looked. Your dress was nothing short of perfect for you and the way your eyes shined in the cheap school lighting. He was lucky to have a best friend like you.
It was sophomore year when Luke realized, he was staring at you his whole freshman year. You were right in his line of vision: just before that corner desk. Why he thought he liked Nancy? He had no idea.
But, you were his bestfriend since…forever.
And just like ever cheesy Hallmark movie and horrible limited TV series, he kept quiet. Content with being your buddy old pal and admiring the little things you do and aiding in your troubles. As. A. Friend.
Luke thought it would go away when he first realized his feelings. He thought it would go away a few months later. He thought it would go away when he had his first kiss with someone else. He even (foolishly) thought it would go away when you and him started college.
It didn’t.
This warm feeling in his chest never went away. It tortured him like the electric chair would shock him everytime you were near: reminding him what he couldn’t have, what he could ruin if he confessed.
The gods must’ve hated his guts, or found his suffering amusing. What was he thinking? Suggesting he be your fake boyfriend?
He was a fool.
He had accepted that long ago.
But, he made a bigger fool of himself tonight than he ever did before.
“Exams are over!” Clarisse whooped as she got in the backseat of Luke’s car.
“Time to drink the night away!” You grinned, slipping into the passenger seat.
Luke gave you a pointed look when he saw the stolen shot bottles, courtesy of Chris’ sticky hands.“C’mon Lukey-poo! A little pre-game didn’t kill anyone.”
“You are so wrong about that.”
“You are not drinking those right now.” Luke spoke sternly. He was stuck with being DD tonight—though he could hold his alcohol better than his friends. “I’m not dealing with your drunk asses before we get to the club.”
“You’re no fun!”
“Someone’s being responsible.”
“Leave him be.” You gave him an apologetic smile and cranked up the radio. Luke mustered up the courage to place his hands over yours—
—to keep up the fake relationship narrative. Yup. Mhm.
Besides you didn’t push him away.
The club was more crowded than usual, but that was expected. Every college student and their mother was there tonight. The floors were sticky. It smelt of BO and musk. The perfect night to wash away stress and worries. And there was no way of telling what time it was without your phone.
Luke left you for a moment to get another drink for himself and for you? Water. You were a lightweight, there was no denying it. He came back to find you with your arms wrapped around some dude.
He wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t. He swears.
He was more concerned with you being drunk and taken advantage of. Which is why he handled it so cool-headed and nonchalant of him.
“Back off.” Luke wrapped an arm around your waist. His temper boiling beneath the seams.
“Woah, man!” The guy held his hands up in mock surrender. “Didn’t know she was your girl—”
He missed the last part guiding you away. “Lukey!” You exclaimed in a pout, poking at his cheek. Your cheeks pink from the alcohol. “Are you mad? I can see you’re mad. You are mad!”
“I’m not.”
“You are! We’re just friends in my Calc class!”
“I’m not mad—I just…” Luke looked for an excuse. “Let’s dance.” He nodded and grabbed your hands, pulling you to the dance floor.
“Okay!” You happily obliged, forgetting about the incident.
Maybe it was the alcohol stirring something in Luke’s veins. He had been dancing on the sticky club floor for more than an hour, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop: even when his feet ached, even when the smell of sweat got to much—your smile was worth it.
You’d make him twirl, dip and hold you as the music changed. Gods, did it feel nice to have you in his arms for this long—his heart ached more and more as the night went on.
Soon enough, you trudged your tired body and aching legs to a cushioned arm chair in the corner of the club. “You okay?” Luke asked, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. He flagged down a waiter for two glasses of water
“Yeah, my feet are killing me.” Your eyes wandered over him, his outfit for tonight. A short sleeved black button up and khaki wrangler pants. It was a good look on him. He looked…good.
Luke wrote that off as a drunken thought when he heard you mutter about how “good” he looked: ignoring the burning in his cheeks and ears.
“Y’know…” Your voice slurred.
Luke shut off his phone after quickly checking where Clarisse and Chris were. “We could break up now…”
His heart dropped.
“What?” He croaked.
Had he been to enveloped in playing pretend for you? He knew this day would come, but why now? Why after he introduced you to his mother again? Why after he saw you experience life with your own feelings forward instead of your parents? Why now?
“We should break up now.” You reaffirmed and looked at him. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking. “The guy from my Calc class is kinda cute—and your chick magnet will restore to its glory.”
It’s stupid he’s upset at this arrangement ending.
It’s stupid that he wants to cry.
You raise your eyebrows in surprise seeing your best friend so quiet and the upset furrow in his eyebrow. Isn’t he happy?
Luke stormed out of the club before he can do anything brash or cry.
You sober up quickly and chase him outside. Luke is walking to his car. “Hey! What the hell is this about?” You asked confused.
“Nothing—I’m going home. Tired.” He doesn’t even look at you.
“Are you mad? Over me ending this? You said it yourself I was dampening your chick magnet.” Anger bubbled up in your chest. You don’t know why. Maybe the alcohol is still talking.
Luke doesn’t answer.
“Seriously…this fake relationship didn’t really matter much to you.—” Gods, you were being such an asshole.
“It mattered to me!” Luke shouted. Years of holding back his feelings finally came spilling out as if a volcano erupted. “It mattered to me.”
He turned to you. Your heart broke seeing the emotions on his face: heartbreak, agony, shame. “You’re so—gods…I have known you for so long and I never knew you could be this dense until now.” He dryly laughed.
“Wha…”
“It mattered to me because I love you. I’ve been in love with you since highschool—and I’m such a goddamn lovesick idiot that I couldn’t get over you.” He explained, avoiding your eyes.
You’re silent, shocked at the confession. You sober up completely.
“This fake relationship—I accepted because…yes, I did want to fuck with your parents and help you live your life without them looking over your head, but I knew it was the closest thing I can get to being yours.”
Luke feels like a fool.
Shouting his pent up confession for all of Rowan Ave. to hear.
Way to go on not ruining your and his friendship. Luke did great at maintaining that.
“Luke…” You reached out to comfort him when Chris and Clarisse stumble out of the club, drunk.
“Holy shit—that last shot got me going.” Chris laughed as he leaned on Clarisse. You hesitate to help them, still stuck on Luke’s confession. You couldn’t process it when you still sobering.
Ultimately, you help them back into Luke’s car.
No words are shared between you two. The car is almost silent, save for the giggles and drunken words of Chris and Clarisse.
“It mattered to me.” Echoed over and over in your head. Your heartbeat quickened. Gods…you were the fool.
—– ٠ ✤ ٠ —–· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —–
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