"Death Is The Mother Of Beauty"

"Look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under it."

- Macbeth, Act I, Scene I

Sometimes it’s absolutely scary to do something just because you care so much, and if it goes wrong, the disappointment can feel crushing. But trying is better than being paralyzed. There is more regret in inaction than in making a bad choice. It’s not too late to do something you’ve been putting off out of anxiety. You’re more than capable of doing this. Let’s try to think more about realistic future scenarios instead of catastrophic ones. Yeah, life is not always perfect, but you don’t have to be either. You are good enough as you are, keep going. You deserve to try. There is more to life than the awful scenarios anxiety comes up with and tries to protect you from. Just remember that isolation and inaction are cutting you off from the world, and it’s hurting you on the long run.

You are so much more than anxiety, than catastrophe, tragedy or failure. What matters most is that you keep trying, not that you do everything perfectly. Take slow steps. Do it at the best of your abilities without burning out. Each day at a time. You’re not alone in this. 🌱

Poets have their desks and pockets filled with poems, artists with sketches, and mine are filled with equations, calculus and books.

After all, we, scientists and you, romantics, aren't so different.

It’s crazy when you stop to think about how many times you’ve thought to yourself, “This is it. I just can’t bear to do it anymore. I’m done.” And yet here you are. You’re still breathing, still living, still fighting for joy, for life, for light, for love. And you are loved. For as much as you may be struggling right now, you’re here. You’re strong as hell. Don’t forget it, kid. 

Palacio de Linares. x

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.

George Eliot // Edward Young // Malcolm Liepke // Marcel Proust // Kahlil Gibran // Thomas Aquinas // Holly Warburton // Taylor Swift // Arnold Lobel // Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in."

-Virginia Woolf

stop putting anyone or anything up on a pedestal (2021)

Science Dark Academia Things

staying up late to read one cool paper

which turns into reading another cool paper that the first paper referenced

that turns into getting to lab mid afternoon because you woke up at noon 

staying in lab late into the evening because there’s just so much to do

wanting to be aesthetic, but knowing that wearing nice clothes into lab is a bad idea (:’()

blue light glasses to protect your eyes from strain as you analyze data

going back to lab late at night to rerun an experiment because the data sucked and you have group meeting tomorrow

the wonderful feeling of finally troubleshooting that one experiment correctly

having science idols that you gaze wonderingly at when you see them at conferences

struggling through a class even but you enjoy it because sometimes learning is just hard

students emailing you with questions about the class you’re TA-ing causing you to wonder when you became the Adult In Charge who Knows Things

talking with your PI/ older grad students and realizing that you definitely are NOT the Adult In Charge who Knows Things but that’s a good thing because it means that you’re in the right place to learn

when your NMR shows your expected product and the MS shows high purity (tears of joy)

being the nerd in all your conversations with non-Science people and pulling out fun facts about solubility rules, thermodynamics, or the ultimate crowd pleaser: molecular quantum mechanics

getting really excited meeting another person your age from your field even if your projects are totally different

remembering even that when science is kicking your butt… you’re doing something cool that will have an impact and that no-one else has done yet!