We Are So Ableist About Memory. People With Good Memory Take For Granted The Fact That They Can Recall

we are so ableist about memory. people with good memory take for granted the fact that they can recall as much as they can, and use that to taunt, guilt and threaten people with memory issues. many neurotypes and mental illnesses cause memory lapses. traumatic brain injuries can cause memory lapses. brain cancer can cause memory lapses.

even if your memory is good, it's not right to guilt someone because they can't remember something. trust me, people with memory problems are desperately trying to remember: it's just that we literally can't. it is a very literal "i can't remember".

More Posts from Biteofboredom and Others

2 months ago

poor memory is a huge deal and i wish people wouldn't diminish it by saying "oh yeah i can't remember what i had for breakfast lol."

i can't remember the first 10 years of my life. i can't remember entire days, weeks, months at a time. i can't remember entire people, i can't remember names or faces. i can't remember when things are scheduled for, my calendar app on my phone is booked to the max with reminders and task checklists. i can't remember when i moved into what home when, i can't remember important milestone dates like when i got or lost certain jobs, or when i started a new hobby.

that's what i mean when i say i have poor memory. poor memory is so scary for the person who has it. it's not a quirky thing, everyone forgets small details. memory problems are scary because you can go through entire events or days with no memory, or plan for things in the future that you can't recall ever even looking into or scheduling. it's not a funny haha kind of thing, it's serious, and it affects a lot of people in very unavoidable ways.

not being able to plan for appointments or work schedules, not being able to remember people's names or faces, not being able to recall whether or not you were present for something or whether or not you met someone, not being able to keep track of what's happening on what dates and losing track of items because you can't remember where you put them are all very real problems, and anyone dealing with them deserves to be taken seriously, and not diminished when they choose to speak up about it.


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3 months ago

It always hurts me to see people on here call 200kcals worth of food à “binge” because it’s not. A binge it’s a large (and I mean large by general social standards) amount of food that you eat in an uncontrollable way. Not a bit over your limit. We should bring more awareness to the effects of binging and what it actually is because stuff like this can be very alienating to those of us who actually struggle with this

2 months ago

i know anxiety and menstruation are used to dismiss many people's health problems but my god it makes it so fucking invalidating to exist as someone whose problems are genuinely caused by those things

my mental health problems are caused by my menstrual cycle. they're disabling and disastrous.

my anxiety is disabling, i cannot leave the house.

my anxiety was the cause of my chronic fatigue.

anxiety and periods are real, valid causes of suffering. we need to stop dismissing that. just because your problems might be caused by other conditions doesn't make problems caused by "just anxiety" any less painful to deal with.


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2 months ago

You should start headcanoning characters as intersex

2 months ago

people who dont experience it cannot comprehend how awful executive dysfunction is. I WANT to do the task, i have the resources TO do the task, i will feel better having DONE the task

but i cant fucking do the task

2 months ago

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

2 months ago

and if you're not going to invite us, at the very least don't ask us to help you plan the fucking event.

it has happened so many times to me that my friends will ask for ideas about their parties and talk extensively and excitedly about their plans, only to turn around and make the decision for me that i'm not coming.

"i don't think you'd like it"

"it's going to be loud"

"i didn't think you'd want to come"

let me make my own mind up. don't put an answer in my mouth before you've even asked the question. and if you don't want me there at all, don't talk to me about your plans.

please invite your disabled friends to things.

"we didn't invite you because we didn't think you'd want to/be able to come" is not a kind statement.

just ask us. if we say no, then we say no. but what if we say yes?

parties, social events, theatre, cinema, theme parks, museums, whatever. if you're inviting the rest of the friendship group, invite your disabled friends too.


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2 months ago

Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".

Idk What Trans Man Needs To Hear This But You're NOT Evil Or Disgusting For Being A Man. You Do NOT Have
Idk What Trans Man Needs To Hear This But You're NOT Evil Or Disgusting For Being A Man. You Do NOT Have
2 months ago

the moment an eating disorder isn't restrictive or doesn't "compensate" for behaviours that could lead to weight gain, nobody gives a shit. and it's exhausting.

as someone with binge eating disorder, i'm tired of being dismissed, humiliated, and ridiculed by everyone.

i've had psychiatrists tell me that my eating disorder isn't real and that i just 'have no self control'.

i've had anorexics call me a disgusting pig and use my mental illness as something to laugh at.

i've had bulimics say similarly horrible things, which is hypocritical given their disorder involves binging as well, but when i pointed that out they told me that 'at least they do something about it.'

binge eating disorder is horrible to live with. at the very least we could be given some respect.

tw: eating disorder mention (not abt me)

i feel like we dont talk about binge eating disorder enough. a lot of people talk about anorexia, a decent amount of people talk about bulimia, but ive barely heard people talk about bunge eating disorder. it's a very serious disorder, just as serious as anorexia and bulimia, yet it doesn't get as much recognition as it should. i find that odd.


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2 months ago

please invite your disabled friends to things.

"we didn't invite you because we didn't think you'd want to/be able to come" is not a kind statement.

just ask us. if we say no, then we say no. but what if we say yes?

parties, social events, theatre, cinema, theme parks, museums, whatever. if you're inviting the rest of the friendship group, invite your disabled friends too.


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