I Wrote A Thing(pt. 2)

I wrote a thing(pt. 2)

The next day, Spencer was kinda quiet. He did give Aaron a few smiles but they didn’t reach his eyes like they usually did. When they talked, Spencer’s replies where short and to the point. Luckily they didn’t have a case but Aaron was worried.

When Aaron finally asked what was wrong, all he got was a small smile and “Oh I’m fine. I’m just tired.”

Aaron didn’t pry….. yet…. But he didn’t believe that for a second. He knew that excuse. Hell, he used it himself many times. Hopefully Spencer would open up.

The quietness lasted a week before Aaron decided to do something about it. He got home an hour after Spencer, like always and found him curled up on the couch reading. Aaron sits on the other end of the couch and watches for a few minutes.

“Spencer, love,” Aaron starts. Spencer looks up from his book for a moment.

“Yes?” He looks so adorable, curled up in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts. He had swapped his contact for glasses and his hair was a little messy.

“Are…..Are you hurting yourself?”

There was the sound of the book snapping shut and then hitting the floor. Spencer jerked into a sitting position

“Excuse me?” The younger man’s voice was dark with anger and hurt.

“I just...just need to know. I’m worried-”

“Why in hell would you think that?” Spencer demands angrily. “Do you think I’m that weak?”

“No. Of cou-”

“No. You listen here Aaron Hotchner. I can handle whatever it is that you think is going on. -Which is nothing by the way-” Spencer was standing now and glaring at him. “And besides, if I was, where would I do it? You’ve seen my naked countless times! Hell, last week even. The only scars I have are from cases. Or do you wanna assume those are self inflicted too?”

Aaron instantly regretted bringing this up. He falls backwards on the couch and rubs a hand over his face.

“I’m sorry Spencer. I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything. I wasn't thinking.” “Damn straight you weren’t thinking!”

Aaron opened his mouth to apologize again when his phone went off. He sighs and answered it.

“Hotchner….Alright. Thank you. We’ll be there soon.”

Spencer looks over as he listens. Before Aaron even hung up, Spencer left the room to go get dressed.

Aaron hangs up and makes his way to the bedroom. He pauses at the door.

“Spencer-”

“You should get dressed. We have work to do.” Spencer didn’t even look at him and it broke Aaron’s heart. He sighs and moves the closet, pulling out a suit and digging a tie out of the dresser. He dresses quickly before grabbing his guns from the case and laying Spencer’s revolver on the table. He had to fix this before he went crazy.

Aaron quietly makes his way to the car and waits for Spencer. The other man came out less than five minutes later and tosses his messenger bag in the back with their go bags. He sits in the back with the bags.

When they got to Quantico, Spencer grabs his bags and makes his way upstairs without a word. Aaron follows slowly. Rossi pulls him aside as soon as Aaron steps off the elevator.

“What the hell did you do?”

Aaron visibly deflated.

“I fucked up. Majorly.”

“Aaron what the hell did you do to him?”

“I asked him if he was hurting himself.” Aaron couldn’t meet the other man’s stare.

“What in hell made you do something idiotic like that?”

“I don’t know!” Aaron explodes. “I was worried about him and he kept saying he was fine and he was just tired but I know what he’s like when he’s tired and that isn’t it.” Aaron rubs his hand over his face. “What do I do?”

“I think you can either talk to him or let this pass. It’s up to you.”

-----.------

Spencer gets upstairs before Aaron did and goes straight to the conference room. The only one there so far was Derek. Spencer sits down and looks at him.

“Do I seem suicidal to you?”

Derek looks up from his phone with furrowed eyebrows.

“Excuse me?”

“Do I seem suicidal to you?” Spencer asked again, slowly. He doesn’t make eye contact, just stares at the table.

“What brought this on?”

“Just answer the question please?”

“No. Of course not.” Derek sets his phone down. “Are you?”  The concern was obvious in the other man’s voice.

“No. God no.”

“Then why ask?”

“Because Aaron asked if I was hurting myself. On purpose.”

“Why would he ask something like that?” “It’s probably my fault.” Spencer sighs. “I’ve been distant lately. He likely got the wrong idea.”

Now Spencer felt horrible for blowing up at him. He only cared. Damnit. He messed this up like he did every other relationship he’d ever been in. Before he could say anything, the rest of the team filed into the room and Garcia started to deliver a briefing on the case.

After the debriefing, Aaron stands, closing his file.

“Get ready. Wheels up in thirty.” He nods stiffly, boss mode frimley engaged.

Spencer bites his lip thoughtfully and takes a breath, readjusting the bag on his shoulder. He walks slowly over to Aaron and takes his hand, dragging him out of the room and down the hall. He comes to a stop at a storage room. He opens the door and shoves Aaron in, following him and locking the door.

“Spencer.” Aaron sounded stressed and tired. “We don’t have time for another fight and I hate fighting with you anyway.” He sounded close to breaking. “I know I shouldn’t have said what I did and I’m sorry but-”

“Aaron stop talking.” Spencer says in a gentle but commanding tone, and to his surprise, it worked. “I’m not here to yell at you again.”

“Then why are we here?”

“Because I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have blown up like I did.”

“I understand why you did. I shouldn’t have assumed. It was wrong of me.”

“It’s my fault that you did. I’ve been distant lately and I’m sorry I worried you. But i swear to you, I’m not hurting myself.”

Aaron was silent for moment. Spencer panicked.

“Aaron?” He whispers.

“Then what is going on, really? Please tell me. I need to know.”

“Please don’t leave me.” Spencer says, his voice thick with emotion.

“Why in god’s name would I do that?”

“Because I fuck up every relationship I’ve ever been in.” Which wasn’t a lot but that’s not the point.

“Spencer. I love you. You know that. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Why not? I know you can do better. Like with Emily or-”

“Yeah I’m going to stop you right there.” Aaron says, putting his hand over Spencer’s mouth and searched for his eyes in the dimly lit room. “If I wanted better, do you think I would have married you after being in love with you for six years?”

“People do stupid things all the time.” Came the muffled mutter.

“Do you really think I regret marrying you?” Aaron dropped his hand away from Spencer’s mouth. He felt his heart break even more.

“Maybe not yet but you will. Everyone always regrets any relationship with me outside of business or friendship. I’m a relationship repellent.”

Aaron puts his hand on Spencer’s shoulder and feels the thinner man’s body tremble with unshed tears.

“Is this why you tried to burn the marriage license?”

“I just….figured if I destroyed it you could be free and could pretend that you weren’t stuck with me. Or we could divorce-” Spencer knew full well that wasn’t how marriages worked but his emotions were clouding his mind at the moment.

“No.” Aaron said sternly. “Being with you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Ever.”

“You mean it?” Spencer whispers, sounding unsure.

"I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love. I will always be honest with you, kind, patient and forgiving. I promise to try to be on time. But most of all, I promise to be a true and loyal friend to you. I love you." Aaron recites, looking into the hazel eyes in front of him. "You are my lover and my teacher. You are my model and my accomplice. And you are my true counterpart. I will love you, hold you and honor you. I will respect you, encourage you and cherish you, In health and sickness. Through sorrow and success. For all the days of my life.In sickness and in health: I promise to take care of you, even when you've over-indulged the night before. For richer or for poorer: I promise not to spend all our money at Nordstrom."

Spencer stares at him before speaking softly. "I promise to encourage your compassion, Because that is what makes you unique and wonderful. I promise to nurture your dreams, Because through them your soul shines. I promise to help shoulder our challenges, For there is nothing we cannot face if we stand together. I promise to be your partner in all things, Not possessing you, but working with you as a part of the whole. Lastly, I promise to you perfect love and perfect trust, For one lifetime with you could never be enough. This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things. You have been my best friend, mentor, playmate, confidant and my greatest challenge. But most importantly, you are the love of my life and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever thought possible... You have made me a better person, as our love for one another is reflected in the way I live my life. So I am truly blessed to be a part of your life, which as of today becomes our life together. I remember once how I told you I did not believe in soul mates. I will never forget your reaction. Shocked and a little hurt that I did not think we were. But as time went by, your love made me believe."

“I meant those words when I said them three years ago and I’ll mean them still, sixty years down the road. I love you Spencer. Don’t you ever forget that.”

“I won’t. I can’t.” Spencer points out. Perks of being a genius with eidetic memory. “I love you too.”