Understanding Is Born Only From The Deep Dark Depths Of Having Gone Through The Same Hell

“Some people just can never understand how much they really mean to you.”

— Unknown

remembering your beautiful laugh feels like a knife through the heart

maybe I'm so cliché because for once I just want to feel like I'm normal

I know I'm just holding onto a wilting flower

The corpse of hope decaying before me

But I can't let go of it, and I won't

Not until just the skeleton remains

I love poetry so much that I keep falling in love with poets

They say being addicted to a person is more dangerous than being addicted to a drug. Too bad I've never been one to heed advice.

another depressive episode yippee

There's nothing I wouldn't do for you

And yet it's not enough

Because I was never the one for you

Even though you were the one for me

Unlearned Gravity

There’s a weightlessness

in the way I speak to you.

not floating,

but falling,

like lungs forgetting they were drowning.

You don’t ask for the truth,

but I offer it

like a child with scraped palms

offering dirt

as if it were gold.

And still—

something in me bends,

like an instrument warped by weather,

its chords creaking,

familiar,

like grief that never needed

a reason to return.

Do you ever feel it too—

the ease,

and then the sorrow that follows

without knocking?

The way something so simple

can still

hurt

like memory.

Shut up, I know others have it worse.

I know I’m a horrible person.

I know that I deserve my poisoned mind.

I know that I’m not worth anything.

I know that I deserve everything that’s coming for my life and my throat.

I know that no one will ever want me.

I know that I’m ugly.

I know that I’ll never be loved by a stranger.

I know that I don’t deserve to complain.

I know that I’m privileged.

Goddamnit, I fucking know that I deserve these thoughts, that I deserve to die and, god, I know that I should’ve never been born to begin with.

So shut the fuck up.