It Is Now A Race Against The The Clock For The Hero To Get There Before This Guy's Wife Wrecks The Place

You are the Chosen One. This is a lie. The Wizard trains each Chosen One, the Assassin arranges threats and enemies for the Chosen One to defeat and the Dark Lord faces and always slays each Chosen One without fail. It is all a ruse, meant to keep the three in power.

The super villain shook with rage as they stared at the security footage. “He’s not even a real superhero with superpowers! He’s just some loser who’s really good at throwing knives at people without killing them!”

Lol

It’s always exciting to add to the manual.

Do not brag about your obscurity. Humility is the key to obscurity on this hellsite. Foolish pride is funny here and funny gets rebloged.

Oh man we're going places

One side effect of my research for this novel being steeped heavily in textile history is my swelling disgust with modern fabrics.

Firstly they're so thin? Like most things you see in Old Navy or even department stores might as well be tissue paper?? Even some branded sports t-shirts I've bought in recent years (that are supposed to be 'official apparel' and allegedly decent quality) are definitely not going to hold up more than a year or two without getting little holes from wear.

This side of even two hundred years ago fabrics were made to be used for YEARS, and that's with wearing them way more often because you only owned like three sets of clothes. They were thick and well made and most importantly made to LAST. And they were gorgeous?? Some of the weaves were so fine and the drape so buttery we still don't entirely know how these people managed to make them BY HAND. Not to mention intricate patterning and details that turned even some simple garments into freaking ART.

I know this is not news, the fast fashion phenomenon is well documented. Reading so much about the amazing fabrics we used to create and how we cherished and valued them, though, is making it hard not to mourn what we lost to mass production and capitalism. Not just the quality of the clothing and fabrics themselves, but the generations of knowledge and techniques that are just gone. It makes me what to cry.

I need to get a sewing machine.

I feel like this could happen in Michigan as well (tiny farms with serious farmers driving Fords [and others] from the last millennia)

Vermont farmer was fixing the fence on his half acre when a Texan rolls by and stops. He rolls down the window and says " Hey there, how much land you got here? " Farmer says " half acre" Texan says " Do you know that I can drive my truck all day on my ranch and not even make it half way across? Farmer says " yep, I had a truck just like that "

When an alien race discovered Earth’s atmosphere was made with oxygen, their best scientific theory was that the creatures there were able to breath fire. They eventually decided to invade Earth equiped with thermal armor, and were no match to the bullethell that was waiting for them

The mighty alien race comes to the human leaders, pledging their unconditional surrender, and even offering peace gifts of immense monetary and technological value. The only problem is that we had no idea we were at war, or that aliens even existed.

I enjoy when sci-fi backdrops try to split the difference between presenting futuristic cityscapes and acknowledging that they wouldn't just tear down all the existing infrastructure by keeping the old buildings but having random high-tech shit sticking off of them, like the buildings themselves have cyborg implants.