Imavika - Imavika

PRETTY effed up morning :)

so like everyone has a coping mechanism and their go to songs when they feel that something which TRIGGERS them is happening or about to happen AGAIN so i have this song -

so its sunday morning today and ive been feeling low and that gut feeling since last two three days that yes something wrong is about to happen and boom then that triggering thing happens and as soon as i see it coming i go to this song and man this sunday morning isnt supposed to be this sad yk cause its a festive season and ugh this sucks. so lowkey sad and irritated. like fuck it. im just draining out of energy.

Needed to get this Hobie out my system. Yall were NOT lying about that intense spark of inspiration after watching this film

clandestina

sometimes i feel like im fked up.

but sometimes its all in my head.

i met a few people today who were a part of my daily life at some point. feels like maybe i've done smth wrong? i talk so much? i dont talk at all? i should speak more to be happy? or maybe i didnt get what they were saying.

that is a nice song btw.

The Holdovers (2023)

"well behaved women rarely make history". ~ tumblr

today might be a bad day for you but just remember 

jensen ackles beat the shit out of three guys in a bar because they fucked with jared and jared broke one guys nose when they tried to hurt jensen 

i love my desk man.

hey to all my friends

who faded away

without letting me know

because

i am glad i did not have to bear with the pain of letting you go

i was observing but hey wait a sec now i think that it was abrupt but

i am back to my safe place and i feel like it was so soft and so slow that you left with no memories

to the one who was my first friend - i am sorry for blaming you for leaving me but i left you too

to the ones who were my next - thank you for not leaving me in a shock but i am sad for sure.

yes. my love is changed. you do not hold the same position in my heart like you used to and i am not sorry for that. sorry for nothing. but i still love you. i dont mean it but its coming from my heart so i guess its true.

today mummy said "dont be afraid of anything" and fuck anything and anything at all. i aint going back now.

also today mummy attended an award show and she came back with an award (ofc) and a something idk word for it but we put it from one side of the shoulder and let it fall to the other side below our hands something and as soon as she came back she asked me to close my eyes and she was making me wear that and handed me her award. i am in love with her. whatever she has been through i am gonna change her future for sure. she deserves happiness. love of my life is my mom.