So Funny Story! When We Were First Learning About Systems And DID And Everything, We Learned That Denial
So funny story! When we were first learning about systems and DID and everything, we learned that denial is a massive symptom that's baked into the foundation of how systems function, so right off the bat we put in a lot of work to accept that we are a system, and build an internal structure of reassurance specifically for our existence as a system.
However! Our brain still found all kinds of ways to trip us up with denial! And it's been a constant frustrating battle. For several years we thought that we were an "average" sized system of about seven to ten headmates, and only recently have we been able to drop enough denial barriers to find that there's actually close to a hundred of us in here. Even after that, it took months to actually see the fictives from our biggest comfort medias (percy jackson and the heroes of olympus, avatar the last air bender, and others) because for some reason our brain thought that large system was bad so "nu-uh" and fictives from "childish" comfort sources were also somehow bad so "what fictives?" and it's been so much chaos T-T
Just the other day someone was going through and updating our system server and poked into channels they didn't recognize and then got smacked in the face with vibes that are obviously in our system somewhere, the person has full on had conversations at some point, and we just completely forgot they existed several times
So basically, yes, a lot, denial comes in all kinds of nasty packages and it's such a pain in the butt and you're not alone <3
Question for systems:
How often do you go into denial or convince yourself that you faked everything/your headmates have disappeared?
More Posts from Kaleidoscopechaos827 and Others
Moon light over the Cove. 5:51 am. 52Β° F. October 29, 2024. Cove Island Park. Stamford, CT (@dkct25)
the fact that some people still believe in there being an "evil alter" is so funny. there's not one evil alter here we're all in a ranked competition to see who's the evilest. it gets super competitive blood gets shed people die.
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staying close w people long distance really is about the mundane stuff. i get texts like "made quesadillas" "spilled mop water all over the floor :(" "lady on the bus has not one not two but three tiny dogs in her purse" andits like wow. i love you more than words can express
the thing about being nonbinary is that you really do start to forget that other people have such strict walls around what is and isnβt allowed for genders. i thought we all agreed that we made that up. could you climb out of the cave real quick and feel the sunshine for a minute.
Can confirm this actually works
I was in some intense burn out for over a year, every day was a fight to get myself to do anything, and one of the many micro adjustments I made that helped me get out of it was giving myself permission to not worry about the pile of things that feel impossible, and just do what feels good in the moment. Lying down and taking a nap, taking a shower, eating a little treat, talking to the people that brought me comfort, cuddling my stuffed animals, making creature noises to shake the knots out
I wouldn't have been able to get to the point where I could take a shower or buy myself a little treat if I didn't rest first, give myself permission to say fuck it, it doesn't matter right now, I want a nap, and just lying down with my eyes closed even if I couldn't actually sleep
After that, each step gets easier
Please let yourself rest, it's literally the most important part
this randomly blew up on twitter so i figured iβd post it here bc lord knows everyone on this app is neurodivergent
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