Latest Posts by lauremaster - Page 5
D&D classes as john mulaney quotes
Barbarian - *smashes a 40 on the ground and yells* SCATTER!
Bard - the entire salt and pepper diner story.
Cleric - You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
Druid - Aaah! One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!
Monk - I’ll just keep all my emotions right here and then one day, i’ll die.
Paladin - for those of you who aren’t catholic, I don’t mean to exclude you (even though we looove to exclude you)…
Ranger - everybody get out of my way. I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.
Sorcerer - this might as well happen. adult life is already so goddamn weird.
Rogue - Stop snitchin’, motherfucker.
Fighter - sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.
Warlock - FUCK DA POLICE!
Wizard - I’m either having a drink or I have to pee. You’re living the golden years kid, not me.
Gotham Girls RPG redesign for fun :) They actually make a very well-balanced team! I was originally going to do them all as knights but then saw Mindy Lee’s Poison Ivy Druid and got inspired. www.instagram.com/kelseyeng32
Also, this just in from the Science World:
MIT researchers just developed (as of September 2019) a new BLACKEST BLACK which is more light absorbing than Vantablack
While I think they are pursuing a patent, this article indicates they plan to make it “freely available to any artist to use for a noncommercial art project”
http://news.mit.edu/2019/blackest-black-material-cnt-0913
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.
Modern knights
(via Saturday Morning Cartoons: Baopu #15) by Yao Xiao
words to remember
A long-ish rant about deities in D&D
One thing that always bothered me about the various deities in D&D that there is almost no myth attached to them. The deities of D&D are a bit too understandable and logical. They’re just high level characters who also picked up the ability to grant divine spells because reasons I guess, with motivations and interests in the real world, but no myth attached to them.
Which is kinda boring, because myth is so important in religion. When you read about the shit that Mystra or Kelemvor or Cyric did during the Time of Troubles, it’s just that, shit they did, with 100% real and observable consequences, mostly in the way of eating other deities’ portfolios or shifting around the seating order in the pantheon or something, but no mythic resonance to it.
I always liked the sort of idea that deities exist on a level that is not entirely literal and heavily couched in metaphor, and that events in the real world are reflections of what happens on the divine level and vice versa.
Like, on the material plane some people just slowly adopted an agrarian way of life replacing their previous hunter-gatherer lifestyle giving rise to the establishment of the very first cities, which also lead to a shift in religious practice away from the gods of nature and towards gods that had more relevance to life within a city, but on the divine plane it was a full-on war with the gods of nature and the new-fangled city gods duking it out, and both of these are true.
Maybe on the material plane there never was a time when death didn’t exist and people were immortal so the gods had to kill the deity of life to stop more immortal people being born as a consequence of which death was first introduced into the world, but like, that literally happened in the divine realm! Or, like, literally in a metaphorical sense, because as I said the divine realm is all about metaphor.
And like maybe you rarely see the sun and the moon in the sky at the same time because the goddess of the moon is awfully shy and the goddess of the sun is constantly trying to find her because THEY SHOULD BE GIRLFRIENDS
process shots // cosplay ref for the new outfits!
the full process is on ariana’s twitter (@ornerine).
Here we are in the future
rick riordan off the shits
Medusa with the Head of Perseus, Luciano Garbati, 2008
My emotions are valid*
*valid does not mean healthy, or good, or to be privileged above common sense and kindness
Dungeons and Dragons, but your character must be a self insert, and class is determined by your current abilities Barbarian Must have a demonstrable temper, go off I guess Bard Must be able to play an instrument Cleric Must be involved in a religious organization Druid Must have demonstrable knowledge of, or passion for nature Fighter Must beat the DM in physical combat (hope your DM’s a wimp) Monk Must practice a martial art Paladin Must have a cause that one actively supports Ranger Must be able to fire a kind of ranged weapon accurately Rogue Must sneak up on the DM (Hard mode: steal their dice) Sorcerer Must have a powerful family heirloom Warlock Must work for a powerful entity (Corporations, The Government) Wizard Must have a College Degree or a 3.0 GPA If you can’t be any of these you start as a commoner, and may become one of these classes when you finally satisfy these conditions.
bruh
When Buts and Fetter interact:
Unstoppable Force (of talking) meets Immovable Object (who knows if they’re even listening)
Chain OC idea (again)
Fetter
Vanirman Monk (subclass tbd)
She’s on the taller side (not for a Vanirman but sure compared to the rest of the world), and fit af. Honestly though, she’s pretty average for a Vanirman, the only variation being her somewhat darker hair.
A woman of few words, she almost exclusively uses Chain Sign - theories vary as to why: can’t speak common, doesn’t have a tongue, is just fucking with everyone, etc. Nonetheless she manages to be plenty expressive and get her point across.
She is a very big fan of the general adage: better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Independent by her own nature and her upbringing in the north, she respects rules that come from a place of strength and wisdom, but doesn’t care for authority for the sake of authority.
While no stranger to a fight, she’s slow to provoke with a generally easy-going attitude. She prefers to prove herself against forces far beyond her - nature itself.
Along with her general martial prowess, she’s well known for being an adept mountain climber and spelunker, having learned on the harsh glaciers of the north. She can often be found free climbing whatever happens to be around: cliffs, chasms, castles, and whatnot.
Unusual for a Vanirman, she favors fighting with her fists and improvised weapons. She’s particularly fond of using chains and pitons (which she has on her for scaling particularly intense slopes), and has frequently been known to use the chains as wraps to make her strikes that much more devastating.
She also doesn’t wear armor, but exclusively wears long sleeves (but you still see hella muscle definition tho). Rumor is that she has intense tattoos twisting up her arms that she’s hiding, but most people think that’s ridiculous.
Joined the Chain to see more of the world. She particularly respects the variety of skills the various members of the Chain display.
(Probably an Advancer/Green Boot cause I think she’d make for a good scout in addition to assailant).
Chain OC idea (again)
Fetter
Vanirman Monk (subclass tbd)
She’s on the taller side (not for a Vanirman but sure compared to the rest of the world), and fit af. Honestly though, she’s pretty average for a Vanirman, the only variation being her somewhat darker hair.
A woman of few words, she almost exclusively uses Chain Sign - theories vary as to why: can’t speak common, doesn’t have a tongue, is just fucking with everyone, etc. Nonetheless she manages to be plenty expressive and get her point across.
She is a very big fan of the general adage: better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Independent by her own nature and her upbringing in the north, she respects rules that come from a place of strength and wisdom, but doesn’t care for authority for the sake of authority.
While no stranger to a fight, she’s slow to provoke with a generally easy-going attitude. She prefers to prove herself against forces far beyond her - nature itself.
Along with her general martial prowess, she’s well known for being an adept mountain climber and spelunker, having learned on the harsh glaciers of the north. She can often be found free climbing whatever happens to be around: cliffs, chasms, castles, and whatnot.
Unusual for a Vanirman, she favors fighting with her fists and improvised weapons. She’s particularly fond of using chains and pitons (which she has on her for scaling particularly intense slopes), and has frequently been known to use the chains as wraps to make her strikes that much more devastating.
She also doesn’t wear armor, but exclusively wears long sleeves (but you still see hella muscle definition tho). Rumor is that she has intense tattoos twisting up her arms that she’s hiding, but most people think that’s ridiculous.
Joined the Chain to see more of the world. She particularly respects the variety of skills the various members of the Chain display.
(Probably an Advancer/Green Boot cause I think she’d make for a good scout in addition to assailant).
domestication syndrome is one of the coolest findings from recent genetics
taako sends out invites to a fantasy costume party, only to have a fucking field day as he watches his guests’ faces as they arrive at his wedding
lup: we’re going in a couple’s costume
barry: ok -
lup: we’re going as a bride and groom.
barry: w - why.
lup: because i know his fucking game.
Consider:
A standard portal fantasy where a person falls through time and ends up in medieval times– but they have brightly colored hair.
They walk into the nearest tavern thinking this must be some novelty tourist trap, and as soon as people take one look at them they’re chased out with whatever cold iron tools the locals have on them, cries of “faerie!” ringing in their ears.
Keep reading
again, there IS a problem of straight actors playing all the gay roles, but the answer isn’t as easy as “straight people shouldn’t play gay people” because a) it’s acting and there’s nothing intrinsically physical about gayness and b) it’s bad to insist that actors make their sexuality public information
I'm kinda meh about roof gardens/ grass roofs bc they can accumulate a lot of weight and collapse/ cause leaks
But living walls? Mighty sexy
They provide natural insulation, which not only keeps the heat in during cold days, but keeps the heat out during hot ones. It's better planned and maintained than vines (depending on the plant ofc).
Flooding in urban areas can be reduced since the roots and the growing medium will hold in moisture. Air can be purified, and heat can be reduced because of evaporation.
I just love living walls
new chain oc
Scrumpy.
Hes like hops of hops was a feral halfling twink instead of a buff dwarf lady that's trying her best
movie tropes that will never get old to me:
a thing happens + two people exchanging money in the back
fourth wall breaking
“give up all your weapons” and that one guy that spends the entire evening taking his weights worth out his pockets
*a terribly loud crash* meowing/ car sirens heard offscreen
alternatively: a terribly loud crash and one of the characters going “oops” in the most casual voice
“fuck you” “well if you insist”
modern greek mythology adaptation where hades and persephone are played by john mulaney and his wife
☠️ Disney & Dragons 3 ☠️
Took a walk on the dark side for my latest ‘Disney & Dragons’ speedpaint by putting a DnD twist on some classic villains~! I swear, these redesigns get more fun every time! >:3c
(As per usual I went into detail in the video about what class I made each character into and why, but if you haven’t seen it yet then feel free to make your own guesses based on these artworks!)
(DON’T EDIT OR REPOST TO OTHER SITES) // FULL SIZE VERSIONS ON MY DA (<-link in my blog header)
⚔️ Disney & Dragons 2 ⚔️
Turned some more Disney Heroes into DnD characters for this week’s speedpaint! These designs have probably been my favorite ones so far to put together~ °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
(I went into detail in the video about what class I made each character into and why, but if you haven’t seen it yet then feel free to make your own guesses based on these artworks!)
(DON’T EDIT OR REPOST TO OTHER SITES) // FULL SIZE VERSIONS ON MY DA (<-link in my blog header)
✨ Disney & Dragons ✨
Turned a bunch of Disney Heroes into DnD characters for this week’s speedpaint! Real fun concept to play around with :D
(I went into detail in the video about what class I made each character and why, but if you haven’t seen it yet then feel free to make your guesses based on the final artworks!)
(DON’T EDIT OR REPOST TO OTHER SITES) // FULL SIZE VERSIONS ON MY DA (<-link in my blog header)
why are star wars planets more boring than earth and our solar system like sure we’ve seen desert, snow, diff types of forest, beach, lava, rain, but like…
rainbow mountains (peru)
red soil (canada/PEI)
rings (saturn’s if they were on earth)
bioluminescent waves
northern lights (canada)
salt flats (bolivia, where they filmed crait but did NOTHING COOL WITH IT except red dust?? like??? come ON)
and cool fauna like the touch me not or like, you know, the venus flytrap.. and don’t get me started on BUGS like… we have bugs cooler than sw aliens
BASICALLY like???? come on star wars you had one (1) job where are the cool alien species