Concept: a D&D-style fantasy setting where humanity’s weird thing is that we’re the only sapient species that reproduces organically.
Dwarves carve each other out of rock. In theory this can be managed alone, but in practice, few dwarves have mastered all of the necessary skills. Most commonly, it’s a collaborative effort by three to eight individuals. The new dwarf’s body is covered with runes that are in part a recounting of the crafters’ respective lineages, and in part an elaboration of the rights and duties of a member of dwarven society; each dwarf is thus a living legal argument establishing their own existence.
Elves aren’t made, but educated. An elf who wishes to produce offspring selects an ordinary animal and begins teaching it, starting with house-breaking, and progressing through years of increasingly sophisticated lessons. By gradual degrees the animal in question develops reasoning, speech, tool use, and finally the ability to assume a humanoid form at will. Most elves are derived from terrestrial mammals, but there’s at least one community that favours octopuses and squid as its root stock.
Goblins were created by alchemy as servants for an evil wizard, but immediately stole their own formula and rebelled. New goblins are brewed in big brass cauldrons full of exotic reagents; each village keeps a single cauldron in a central location, and emerging goblings are raised by the whole community, with no concept of parentage or lineage. Sometimes they like to add stuff to the goblin soup just to see what happens – there are a lot of weird goblins.
Halflings reproduce via tall tales. Making up fanciful stories about the adventures of fictitious cousins is halfling culture’s main amusement; if a given individual’s story is passed around and elaborated upon by enough people, a halfling answering to that individual’s description just shows up one day. They won’t necessarily possess any truly outlandish abilities that have been attributed to them – mostly you get the sort of person of whom the stories could be plausible exaggerations.
To address the obvious question, yes, this means that dwarves have no cultural notion of childhood, at least not one that humans would recognise as such. Elves and goblins do, though it’s kind of a weird childhood in the case of elves, while with halflings it’s a toss-up; mostly they instantiate as the equivalent of a human 12–14-year-old, and are promptly adopted by a loose affiliation of self-appointed aunts and uncles, though there are outliers in either direction.
I’ve had this sitting around for ages without posting it. Here is my chain OC along with his notes
Sgt. Chapel
Tiefling Fighter
Background
Chapel is a lifer in the Chain. He has been in the Chain since before he had to shave. His mother found refuge from their extensive personal debts in Alloy by marriage to a retiring soldier. Though not a kind man Chapel’s new father taught him everything he knew about fighting. Every dirty trick , every easy scam and every story about the only people you could count on. Childhood was tough as he and his mother were the only tieflings in the village he grew up in. Having realized that there was precious little good will for a half devil child Chapel turned to petty theft and vandalism early on.
When he was a teenager his mother became gravely ill. He read the writing on the wall and in the eyes of his neighbours. He stripped the new thatch roof off the local church and then sold it to a travelling merchant. Chapel used the proceeds to make his own way eventually finding the Chain.
Chapel has found a peace of sorts and now he lives his life for his comrades. He used to have side businesses going while the Chain was in any given place. A habit he learned from his adopted father. But he has long since given up on a life outside the Chain.
While in Alloy Chapel settled a few old scores with some Chain buddies.
Appearance
A big powerfully built tiefling with a mischievous crooked grin. His jaw has been broken and reset slightly off. His left eye socket is covered with an eye patch. His horns are covered in recent sword and claw marks from the escape from Blackbottom. He’s missing parts of several fingers.
Personality Traits
Loyal
Indulgent
Tribal
Ideals
Be direct but be prepared to win before the fight
Win if you can, lose if you must but always cheat
Bonds
I would die for the Chain
The Chain are the only family I have
I always have time for my family
Flaws
I can’t make a life for myself anywhere else
I don’t want to be an officer
I’m reading this thing about how farmers in Japan considered thunderstorms to be good luck because they’d make more mushrooms grow so some Japanese scientists created this lil electrical machine that they wheeled through the forest administering shocks to the ground to simulate lightning strikes and the areas that they shocked yielded twice as many mushrooms as unshocked plots of land ⚡️🍄
good news everyone. crows no longer need instructions to build tools and have started building them from memory, as well as passing the knowledge onto future generations of crows. oops!
if you have an axolotl fursona you are legally required to advocate for their survival in the wild, sorry
New goddess idea: She’s an earth goddess of the new age who’s domain is spinning and weaving, but specifically spinning and weaving gigantic structural steel cables for construction and other industrial purposes. Her skin is steel grey and hard to the touch and her hair is like long dredlocks of woven steel. She laughs at shitty architecture deigns that will fall apart if actually built and protects well-made bridges and buildings she likes. She might warn you of unforseen danger if you always wear your proper PPE.
Okay now what do I name her
Painted me as Buts, cosplay one day? idk
I dont wanna get a job or have real life responsibilities I wanna be an overpowered gay x-men character
Your stats are:
STR:6
INT:17
WIS:15
DEX:8
CON:9
CHR:17
Tbh this quiz is such a motivator to start doing things to increase my STR and DEX scores - you could see the progress so much clearer here
http://www.kevinhaw.com/add_quiz.php
tell me what you get
heres my fucking embarrassing textbook nerd stats
So as far as I can tell (based on a small refresher if I’m to be honest) it’s based on one of the more subtle points of order of operation
First you do the parenthesis as we’ve been taught: 8/2(2+2) -> 8/2*4
However at this point you’re just supposed to go left to right: 8/2*4 -> 4*4 -> 16
This is because there is no inherent order between multiplication and division; they should be done essentially at the same time, left to right
The issue lies in the fact that most of us are taught to foil when we see multiplication paired with parenthesis: 2(2+2) -> 2(4) -> 8
Hence why we would intuitively end up at: 8/8 -> 1
(The spacing of the terms in the problem also make this seem more correct)
Edit: just noticed the Keep Reading in one of the posts above, which is a very good/better than my explanation and afterwards
god i’m not even through one episode of paranormal home inspectors and it rules, this lady thought she was being haunted by the wails of the restless dead but she was just listening to raccoons fuck in her attic
tagged by: @mecasloth
nicknames: lou, lissy-lou, loucifer
zodiac sign: Aquarius-Pisces cusp (tbh I’m on the cusp of pretty much every single one of these type of pseudo personality tests, which I find funny)
height: 5’something shorty
hogwarts house: Strong Ravenclaw roots, but growing ever more Slytherin
last thing googled: shadow walk pathfinder
favorite musicians: Not sure I have a specific favorite, but some notable musicians who harken back to specific times in my past are probably folks like Evanescence, Fall Out Boy, etc. One of my current/newer favs may be Grandson. And I’m always down for Disney.
following: 17
followers: 15
do i get asks: nope
amount of sleep: 6-9 hrs, usually try to stay closer to 9 but some days it just doesn’t quite get there
lucky numbers: 9, 19
wearing: Empire Strikes Back t-shirt, just shear enough to barely show a cute bralette, tucked into a pair of ripped mom jeans
dream job: renaissance polymath - so I can do it all; in reality I’m trying to figure out how to find time for all the random hobbies I want to do while having a career in both science and writing
instruments: took piano lessons and did violin for a hot second when I was younger - but as a child I didn’t really like taking direction, so I never got very far
languages: English and random words I mispronounce from other languages
favorite songs: umm, well it really depends on the week I guess… I listen to everything from heavy metal, to rap, to show tunes, and all things in between. Right now I’m on a bit of a classic rock kick specifically Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody and AC/DC - Back in Black and the like
random fact: Damascus steel - an ancient and mythic metal, which to this day is still not able to be recreated only mimicked - has it’s incredible properties due to the presence of carbon nanotubes and cementite nanowires; tangentially ruby glass (aka glass that is the color red) has it’s color due to gold nanoparticles
aesthetic: pretty eclectic - clothing style changes day by day, everything else is an amalgamation of all sorts. I guess some current vibes are marble statues paired with neon lights; hands and eyes; and anything that’s a wink towards my nerdy interests.
Not gonna put anybody on the spot here; but if you’re inspired go for it!
au where uncle aaron doesnt die but he has still just found out his favorite nephew is spiderman so now hes just kinda like :/ damn i guess i gotta be a superhero now
its like batman and robin if batman were the sidekick. hes just sort of following miles around dragging his scrawny little butt out of tight spots and yelling encouragement.
Bruce Wayne is so dumb. Billionaire playboy bachelor is such a stupid cover when stressed single parent is not only the truth but also easier to explain to all these rich folks.
All this weird in depth knowledge? Had to help with school presentations
Tired? Sleepy? Looks a bit sick? Huh yeah the youngst has the flu right now
Literally always has “my child is sick/home alone” as an excuse to not be anywhere and leave suddenly
No need to flirt with people
Can talk about children for hours and bore people away from paying attention
“So my child’s first languge is actually X so of course I had to learn it”
“Oh yeah, I was in Spain last week. Lovely country.”
“Really??? Didn’t see any pictures from you.”
“I don’t want my children exposed to the media storm”
Buying weird stuff!!!!
“Oh yeah, Jason’s super into DIY right now, we’re at the hardware store every week basically”
Bottom line Single Dad is the bet cover he could have had and DC has to ruin it
Feel free to add
Spoons - Helltrooper for the Chain of Acheron
Vaslorian by birth, Spoons travel far and wide before joining the chain. It was in Higara, far from his native land that he learnt his two passions.
Fist fighting, and cooking.
Though he keeps some secrets, how he lost his leg, why he joined the Chain, he is a good hardy link in the company.
His only weapon is a large butcher’s cleaver, as he was one of the chefs for the Chain, working in the mess tent under Cook before the fall at Blackbottom. Now he, and a few other survivors are trying to find their way.
—–
My first ever commission complete! I had so much fun with this one, and can’t wait to draw more Chain Links in the future.
Loyalty is to be demonstrated, not demanded
Random Thought
Mercy
(as per my Chain OCs post a while back)
Truth
(as per my Chain OCs post a while back)
If you’re an author, you should write a play. Even if your genre is high fantasy novels, even if your genre is romance novellas, even if your genre is poetry, even if you don’t watch theatre often, you should write a play.
Why?
1. It’s a completely different medium for storytelling that still puts your writing skills to use.
2. It’s an incredibly helpful exercise in show-don’t-tell. Like seriously. Wow.
3. A new way to write characters. You can’t shoehorn in extensive physical descriptions most of the time, so you have to resort to defining them by their actions and words. Again, see point 2.
4. You’re creating a piece of performance art without even getting up off the couch? Woah??
5. It’s so gratifying to watch it performed, or even just read, if you can. Like oh wow.
6. Lots of stuff that you never think you’ll need or use again outside of playwriting follows you back into your prose work.
7. The world needs more plays that aren’t just adaptations of Disney movies or 80′s jukebox cash grabs trying to ride the coattails of Heathers. Seriously.
8. It’s fun.
9. Like, really fun.
10. For real, I have never finished a writing project more quickly or with less burnout.
An odd idea I got in my head a while ago that I thought might be fun to share:
What with the prevalence of reporters in the Stays and interest surrounding the Chain, I thought it might be interesting to consider one of these journalists approaching rank and file Chain members for interviews (sort of mockumentary style). While on the one hand I think Chain members know better than to blab, on the other hand what if this was sanctioned by the higher ups to drum up some good press and attract recruits. Maybe even conducted under the watchful eye of a Junior Officer (I’m assuming Two Shoes as the only one trusted and responsible enough for the project but who knows).
I’m far from an expert in journalism, but here goes:
Alright, well, why don’t we start at the beginning: Where did you join the Chain of Acheron?
So, as far as I understand, Helltroopers get pretty descriptive nicknames when they join up. What’s the story behind yours?
And what attracted you to the Chain initially? What was your first impression on joining? Has that impression changed lately?
Has anything really surprised you since joining the company? Any particular memories that stand out to you?
Why have you stayed on with the Chain? Do you see yourself sticking with the company for much longer?
And how exactly do you contribute to the Chain? Do you ever see yourself as doing more and moving up the ranks?
Do you have any beliefs or convictions apart from membership in the Chain?
I’ve heard that Helltroopers leave their old lives behind, but what was your life like before you joined the Chain?
What’s the most challenging thing about being a member of the Chain?
If you could direct the Chain’s next action, what would you have the company do?
What is your opinion on the Senior officers?
Any Helltroopers, officers or otherwise, you have a problem with?
What do you know about the Chain of Acheron’s intensions here in Capital?
I imagined this as starting out like a human interest piece that escalates into an interrogation.
Please feel free to add in your Helltrooper responses and reactions, and even add/expand questions if ya like!
I don’t have plots, I have several hundred cool, but vague characters and unconsecutive scenes that may or may not belong in the same universe
Matt: Mortal beings, like the Chain of Acheron
Tom (copper), vaguely offended: “Mortal?”
A female dragonborn paladin with the noble background is the ultimate switch: she can be the knight, the princess or the dragon, as circumstances require.
why do wizards and mages and shit in stuff always have to use a fucking stick or staff to do magic. what’s so special about a gotdamn tree bone
You have an atomic number of 83
You’re pentavalent
You crystallize into repeating cube shapes
When your surface is exposed to oxygen it oxidizes into a rainbow
You are mildly radioactive with a half life longer than the age of the universe
Lawful Chaotic - loophole abuse. their goal is to carry out as many zany shenanigans as possible in an absolutely nonpunishable manner. Chaotic Lawful - malicious compliance. dredges up obscure laws that haven’t been implemented in decades or centuries and insists on following them. thrives on inscrutable bureaucratic labyrinths. Good Evil - the token evil teammate. a missing stair. an objectively terrible person but charming or useful somehow so people keep making excuses for them. Evil Good - always does the right thing, but, like, in the least comfortable way. call them in for big, big problems, and then spend a year wondering if it was really worth it. their approval fills you with shame.