Not That Anybody Asked, But I Think It's Important To Understand How Shame And Guilt Actually Work Before

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

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Experience: Learning The Right Way To Connect The Dots.

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you'll like this video better with sound on

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thatbemeqq

video is mildly funny but this comment killed me

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[Image description: a comic of Meowth and Giovanni of Team Rocket. Meowth comes up to Giovanni's desk, and asks: "Hey are you guys hiring?"

With an intense stare, Giovanni thinks: "Oh my god a talking cat."

The last panel zooms in on his face as he thinks: "I'm going to make it commit crimes." End description.]

giovanni

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Do y’all think siblings in medieval times would look at the little beasts in illuminated manuscripts and point at each other like ‘ha! ‘Tis thou!’

1 year ago
So A Free Tool Called GLAZE Has Been Developed That Allows Artists To Cloak Their Artwork So It Can't
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AI art bros are big mad about it.

1 year ago

I think abt the left 4 dead 2 graffiti so often. Like they really had the human condition nailed huh.

I Think Abt The Left 4 Dead 2 Graffiti So Often. Like They Really Had The Human Condition Nailed Huh.
I Think Abt The Left 4 Dead 2 Graffiti So Often. Like They Really Had The Human Condition Nailed Huh.
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I Think Abt The Left 4 Dead 2 Graffiti So Often. Like They Really Had The Human Condition Nailed Huh.
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1 year ago

If you don’t believe in redemption then you don’t believe that people can change and grow

You don’t believe in character development

You don’t believe that people learn and grow and change over time

What you knew in five years ago can change along with your mindset because of a new experience you had

Someone good can change for the worst and become bad

While someone bad can change for the better and become someone good

That being said forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do and you don’t HAVE to forgive someone that wronged YOU

But also remember that forgiveness is not only for the guilty but also for your peace in mind and helping you move forward and heal

"redemption arcs are toxic, you shouldn't try to fix someone!"

actually it is so important to me that being in community and experiencing human connection can save people. thanks

1 year ago

I want enemies like this

Hey are you offended by the word bitch? I'm going to send you a hate anon, but I saw that you go by she/her and I respect women

don't let anything stop u from being a hater king

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lilyroseyonca02 - Dear Silver-Soul
Dear Silver-Soul

İt’s all fun n games till it’s NOT

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