Over The Years I've Been Asked By Several Bio Family Members What Happened To "make" Me "choose" Being

Over the years I've been asked by several bio family members what happened to "make" me "choose" being trans. This has always pissed me off because I didn't know what they wanted me to answer with. There was no one thing that "did it". It was years of abuse, neglect, and bullying from my own family that conditioned the many traits that now make up who I am. After one afternoon with my therapist I realized the start of my conditioning began when my father told me he was disappointed at my birth when I was a girl because he had hoped for a boy. Unfortunately for him my bio mom's three prior pregnancies, only one viable, were all girls, meaning there was almost a zero chance that I could have ever been a male at birth. But from that moment on I began to change myself to be as good of a kid as I could he wouldn't care that I was a girl. But then he began to shoot me down left and right, saying I wasn't built for it, saying I wasn't going to ever be able to do it. That coupled with the things my bio mom and her mom would tell me daily, I had no chance.

Being a trans man isn't something that can happen overnight. From my experience it can take years or even lifetimes to understand what it is. When I learned about transgender people in my sophomore health class, a lot of the things I had been feeling for my whole life finally made sense. I also often found myself asking anyone I could to learn all that was available to me to understand who I am and what i am.

It's not rocket science and I wish the ignorant among the population would get that into their heads. They just need to ask politely like @doberbutts. The only thing that pisses me off more than the ignorant being rude is when I explain it to them and then they refuse to believe me. When I told my father that he was the catalyst he spent the next hour trying to gaslight me into believing he wasn't. This is the same man who doesn't use my preferred name, preferred pronouns, and still calls me his daughter when introducing me to strangers.

I hope this answers some of your requests dober.

❗️❗️ This is asked entirely in good faith. This post is intended to open dialogue and help with solidarity and understanding. ❗️❗️

I would like to hear specifically from trans men and trans mascs how the system of [whatever the fuck you call the intersection of transphobia, misogyny, and specifically your gender- whether transandrophobia, isomisogny, antitransmasculinity, transandromisia, transmisandry, or any that I have missed as there are a lot of words to describe similar concepts] uniquely targets and affects you. Things that you feel other demographics do not experience. Reblogs and replies are very encouraged! If you would prefer, you could dm or send an ask to be added anonymously by me.

This is in the spirit of wanting to understand. I am listening. I encourage all non-trans-mascs to not speak on this topic and let trans mascs and trans men do the talking here. Reblog the post to spread it, but please say nothing.

Any and all people who identify as trans men and/or trans mascs are encouraged to participate.

This is not bait to start a fight. I will block without hesitation anyone who is actively being a shithead on this post. I want to hear and uplift your voices by getting it directly from you.

Click this to access the trans fem and trans women version of this post.

Click this to access the nonbinary version of this post.

Click this to access the intersex version of this post.