My Great Grandma, Violet Leib. It Runs In The Family.

not the abacus

I was born to muck around on devices. thousands of years ago I would constantly be on the abacus in Stone age times I’d be staring at the cave wall drawings for 6 hours a day

i’m looking at his natal chart. even though we aren’t together anymore, i can’t help myself. i’m still struggling to make sense of everything that has happened, but i’m slowly accepting distance as the reality. there’s just something about him.

we both have five planets in retrograde. his are the outers. i have venus, no saturn, plus chiron or something. i’ve always liked the fact i have a lot of retrograde planets, and most people don’t have more than one or two. our charts really are like a mirror.

i found the source for his violence and emotional power games. it’s his mars conjunct saturn, both in twelfth house. i admire him for that. since my sun is there, i’m no judge of the chaos the 12th house brings. i seem to live in it and enjoy it. our relationship was quite twelfth house after all.

but supposedly mars & saturn connections can bring a penchant for harshness and cruelty. quite frankly, that kinda turns me on. i do have a bunch of squares to my moon & pluto after all. i thought the arguments we had were fun. i have a gemini stellium and he has a gemini moon. it wasn’t fun and games for him though unfortunately.

i remember when i saw his qi energy one day in his back yard. qi energy is something i see on people sometimes, like their spirit energy. for him, it was a quick glimpse like the right side of his face was rotting. his eyeball was missing and it was like creepy. it was quite scary come to think of it, but somehow it transferred a light to me. and i don’t recall feeling too scared by it.

but after that, i began seeing a light in other peoples eyes occasionally. it was like a “hey, i’m here for you. i’m not judging you” kind of light. i think me seeing his qi energy gave me that light, to help me move forward when i get so depressed. and as i would come to find out, the 8th house is the house of “rot”. and he was my eighth house sun.

i don’t know why i’ve always had a fascination with nero.

i think i relate to him cuz he inherited a falling empire. and his life was so messed up i think it made him messed up.

Kim Addonizio, “The Singing”, Tell Me

my natal chart x

命盘 means natal chart in mandarin 🤪

CHICAGO · WORK TRIP · SUMMER ‘24

Clothing is an art. What do you like to wear?

American style. Travel is good for the heart, but hurts my wallet.

mars in scorpio will take you to hell and back, that’s for sure.

my mom is a scorpio, and i have a lot of pluto aspects, so i guess it adds up. i’m a wittle cancer. and a lunatic 12th houser.

have dated two men with mars in scorpio. each one scorched me. power dynamics within the relationship. definitely invigorating, but lead to an intense end.

明天的恐惧 · tomorrow’s fears

今天的乐趣 · today’s pleasures

未来的承诺 · the future’s promises

昨天的背叛 · yesterday’s betrayal