I Think I'll Keep Uploading Flower Pictures

I was explaining this to a friend recently and I think it's an important distinction to make: not all queerplatonic relationships look the same.

A good way I've found to illustrate what exactly a qpr is, is to say "a qpr is to relationships what nonbinary is to gender". While both of these traditionally function on a binary (male/female, platonic/romantic), by defining our personal outlooks and experiences of the concepts of gender and relationships with new terms, we challenge the boundaries that society has put in place.

And yes, whilst redefining what actually constitutes romantic or platonic relationships, or male and female identities, and what makes them different (and acknowledging where they overlap, or where they can expand past what we traditionally expect) is important to increasing our understanding, so is providing options entirely outside of those two boxes.

And that's what it is - options. It's very easy to trivialise the concept of nonbinary and simply make gender into a trinary, rather than a binary. Male/female/nonbinary, which goes against the very purpose of the nonbinary label. This further erases the spectrum of gender. It's the same with relationships - by giving a strict set of instructions on how a qpr must look and act, you are simply creating a trinary. The point of the concept of qprs is to acknowledge that there are relationships between people that may overlap platonic and romantic, or fall partially within one and partially outside, or ones that are entirely separate from either category.

There are an infinite amount of ways a relationship can manifest, and if the people in the relationship feel that queerplatonic best describes their partnership without romance, or their affection without commitment, or their feelings towards each other that aren't quite what romantic or platonic is to them, or any other reason that rebels against amatonormativity, then they can choose to use that term. Queerplatonic covers the widest range of relationships that come in all shapes and sizes.

I think it's so important when discussing topics like relationships and gender to consciously make the effort to keep queering our ideas of the concepts - to remember that a spectrum is a spectrum. Labels can be useful for finding community, identifying your experiences and validating your struggles, but as soon as you try to start hyper-defining them, you lose the radical nature of queering our understanding of ourselves and our relationships. We name these concepts in order to give a voice to our subversion of society's arbitrary rules and expectations, not to police each other into conforming to a particular understanding of how a person (with a certain label) "should" act or be.

You know, if I had to describe my experience as an aromantic in one word, I think I’d go with “alienating”. Let me explain:

Imagine you’re aro and watching TV. There some kind of SciFi show on and they are debating the personhood of an AI.

The AI shows curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. They have desires. They have strengths and weaknesses. None of this convinces the doubters.

The AI makes friends. They take up hobbies. They talk about their hopes and dreams for the future. Surely this is enough to relate to them as a person? It’s not.

The AI is shown to fall in love. This is framed as the ultimate proof, the one thing that must humanize them even to the staunchest denier of their personhood or else that person is irredeemable.

You change the channel.

There’s a children’s cartoon on. “What is this?!” the villain cries, pointing at a couple. Their inability to understand the romantic love between those two is framed as stemming from the fact that somebody so deeply evil simply cannot understand something as pure and good as romantic love.

You change the channel.

There’s a sitcom on. Two characters are discussing a third character. “He’s really not that weird,” says one character. “He hasn’t been in a relationship for [x] years!” the other refutes. Cue the laugh track. The implication is clear: If he’s not in a relationship, it must be because he’s too weird.

You change the channel.

There’s a Christmas movie on. The main character is a successful businesswoman. She’s shown talking to her friends and family regularly. “You need a man,” her mother says as they bake together. The daughter denies this. The rest of the movie is all about proving the mother right, as suddenly her career, her friends and her family are framed as not being enough for her to lead a fulfilling life.

You change the channel.

It’s some show aimed at young teens and tweens. “Ew,” one character comments as the idea of them having a significant other one day is brought up. This is treated as a sign of their immaturity.

You turn off the TV.

Your experiences aren’t enough to humanize a non-human character. You’re the villain. You’re a weirdo. Your life is incomplete. You’re immature.

You’re tired.

There’s a reason it was an aro who coined the term voidpunk.

Filler words in Norwegian

Can’t learn a language without fillers!

altså - “well…” or “so…” It’s often used to enhance confidence, whether it’s strong or weak. Altså, mamma sa at jeg får lov til å gjøre det.. / Well, mum said I’m allowed to do it..

vel - “well”, can be used in the same way as in English. You can also combine it with altså: Vel, altså, her er planen… / Well, so, here is the plan…

liksom - the Norwegian equivalent to “like” - use it everywhere! It can also be used to enhance sarcasm. Har du liksom tenkt å gå med det der? / Are you seriously like, going to wear that thing?

da - this literally means then, but we often use it to end sentences, especially if we’re saying something that another person might want to argue with. And since it means ‘then’, you can also use it in the same way as in English. Jeg skulle jo liksom bare prøve den på, da. / I was just going to like, try it on.

ehh / øhh - uhh, uhm. Super useful.

på en måte - “in a way” or “kind of”.  Han er litt merkelig, på en måte. / He’s a little strange, kind of.

bare - “just” Jeg skal bare innom butikken. / I’m just gonna pop by the store.

ikke sant? - translates to “not true”, but is used for saying “right?” “don’t you agree?”. Around Bergen, people usually drop the “ikke” and just say “sant”. I’m from Bergen so I didn’t know that not everyone says this until I googled it lol. 

skjønner du / skjø’ - used at the end of sentences in the same way as “you see” in English. It comes from the word “å skjønne”, which means to understand, to realize or to “get it”. “Skjø’” is not really used in the southern regions, but if you’re around Trøndelag, you’ll hear this a lot. In other regions one would say “skjønner du”. Han er lærer, skjø’/skjønner du. / He is a teacher, you see.

Feel free to ask me questions about these or request more specific fillers!

Dance! Dance! DANCE!!!

If The Types Came with an Instruction Manual: INFP Edition

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner/friend of an INFP! Here are a few things to take note of with your new best friend! Oh, you didn’t know INFP was now your best friend? Well now you do, because if you have one, it’s going to stay by your side for pretty much ever.

1. Your INFP comes with the innate ability to scope out good and bad! This particular model is very good at determining whether or not a person is being truthful and genuine or totally fake! You just acquired a lie detector as well. Your INFP will be able to break a person down in about 5 minutes flat !On top of that, they will warn you as well like the little Golden retrievers they are! 2. Your INFP is an INTROVERT! This means that more often than not, your INFP is going to be just as happy staying in and watching a movie by his or her self, than going out. So remember to keep the super social things down to a small amount or this will drain your INFPs battery.* They tend to like one on one things or a small group often a maximum of 3-5. Be sure to ask INFP how they feel. Be prepared for a 30 minute conversation.

*CAUTION: If INFP loves you, INFP will try to force itself to go to gatherings so as to make you happy. Then you will not see INFP for a week or more. Be careful with INFPs willingness to participate as likely they do it for you.

3. INFP cares Deeply!! Your INFP comes standard with the ability of caring too much and too deeply. Usually this trait makes them resent themselves more than anything, but when they find that person who appreciates them for it, they become very happy and stick to you like glue. Please be sure to listen to INFP when they speak and try your best to understand them, because 99.9999% guaranteed, your INFP listens to you and remembers most everything you like and dislike. 4. Your INFP usually likes one of the following: Writing, drawing, music, etc. This is a way your INFP expresses themselves, and is a very important thing to them. There is a 40% chance that INFP will show you there art/writing/music choices one day. When/If they do, know that INFP finds you very special, as this is very uncommon and you have become the chosen one.

5. Your INFP is obsessed with something. No really, your INFP has something that it loves and expresses said love for it. Whether it is something as small as a fascination with rocks to a unhealthy love of rainbows. Please indulge this. INFP will show this feature the more you spend time with them. Pro Tip: If you get a gift for INFP that involves said obsession, you will become their favorite person ever and will likely keep with gift in a place and remember you every time they look at it. Plus they will likely never expect you to do this for them.

6. Your INFP is not good at confrontation. Your INFP DOES NOT like confrontation and will do anything to avoid it. They are diplomats and they keep true to the title. They try to make peace in bad situations and can often stop fights by being the nuetral go between. They are able to see both sides of the coin and will try their best to make everyone happy. Please avoid confrontation to spare INFPs becoming mentally exhausted/Upset/using every emotion they have and know of…

7. INFPs are VERY GOOD AT CONFRONTATION. (Yes we are aware of what was stated above in 6) While INFP does not like confrontation, when a friend of INFP has been wronged, it is as if something snapped in INFP and suddenly INFP will become bullet proof and will destroy its target. In plain terms, your Golden Retriever has now switched to full on Rottweiler guard dog mode. If you want this action not to be completed on your behalf, you must tell INFP before it annihilates the person that has wronged you. They have a very hurtful almost eerie way of completing this action and It is not pretty. Distract INFP with something shiny or its favorite thing to spare the person.

8. Your INFP in the embodiment of the word contradiction. (See 6 &7) Your INFP can be decisive and indecisive on the same day at basically the same time. One moment your INFP will be meek and mild like a lamb about one thing, and as vicious as a bear protecting it’s young about another. This is normal and in time will become less and less surprising.

Pro Tip: Don’t try to change this quality. It actually adds to INFPs quirkiness and overall personality. Plus their feelings WILL get hurt

9. Your INFP is very strong and can be very stubborn, but will cave if they love a person. Treat your INFP with care as their love for you will make them give in to doing most of what you want to make you happy. Consult with your INFP to be sure what you re doing/planning makes them happy too. More often than not it will, but they will appreciate the consideration and only love you more. (Be prepared for a 15-30 minutes conversation and possible tangents)

10. Your INFP needs to talk to you! Your INFP has a habit of keeping everything in. In their mind, the less they trouble you with their problems, somehow to them makes it better for everyone else. If left unchecked, INFP will slowly erode and self destruct and feel unlved and misunderstood. You must ask them how they are doing and spend one on one time with them often. It would be simple if asking how your INFP was was a simple as asking “how are you?” But it is NOT. You must sometimes be a little forceful. Show that you care.

Pro Tip: Invite INFP over for bonding time. Give them a warm cup of coffee/tea and a cozy place to sit. Be ready to listen. CAUTION! This will likely take from 2-8+ hours. Make a day for it!

These are the top 10 instructions for your new INFP friend! We would post more, but sadly the model INFP comes with 75 additional volumes each with 700+ pages per volume! But this is a good way to get started and get to knowing your new INFP!

Have fun with your new friend and Congratulations!

tell me something nice

Well, we'll see...

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

Welcome to the space age, ladies and gentlemen

A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN