I Tried To Make A Funny But Unfortunately I Can Only Make Bad Puns.

i tried to make a funny but unfortunately i can only make bad puns.

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If The Types Came with an Instruction Manual: INFP Edition

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner/friend of an INFP! Here are a few things to take note of with your new best friend! Oh, you didn’t know INFP was now your best friend? Well now you do, because if you have one, it’s going to stay by your side for pretty much ever.

1. Your INFP comes with the innate ability to scope out good and bad! This particular model is very good at determining whether or not a person is being truthful and genuine or totally fake! You just acquired a lie detector as well. Your INFP will be able to break a person down in about 5 minutes flat !On top of that, they will warn you as well like the little Golden retrievers they are! 2. Your INFP is an INTROVERT! This means that more often than not, your INFP is going to be just as happy staying in and watching a movie by his or her self, than going out. So remember to keep the super social things down to a small amount or this will drain your INFPs battery.* They tend to like one on one things or a small group often a maximum of 3-5. Be sure to ask INFP how they feel. Be prepared for a 30 minute conversation.

*CAUTION: If INFP loves you, INFP will try to force itself to go to gatherings so as to make you happy. Then you will not see INFP for a week or more. Be careful with INFPs willingness to participate as likely they do it for you.

3. INFP cares Deeply!! Your INFP comes standard with the ability of caring too much and too deeply. Usually this trait makes them resent themselves more than anything, but when they find that person who appreciates them for it, they become very happy and stick to you like glue. Please be sure to listen to INFP when they speak and try your best to understand them, because 99.9999% guaranteed, your INFP listens to you and remembers most everything you like and dislike. 4. Your INFP usually likes one of the following: Writing, drawing, music, etc. This is a way your INFP expresses themselves, and is a very important thing to them. There is a 40% chance that INFP will show you there art/writing/music choices one day. When/If they do, know that INFP finds you very special, as this is very uncommon and you have become the chosen one.

5. Your INFP is obsessed with something. No really, your INFP has something that it loves and expresses said love for it. Whether it is something as small as a fascination with rocks to a unhealthy love of rainbows. Please indulge this. INFP will show this feature the more you spend time with them. Pro Tip: If you get a gift for INFP that involves said obsession, you will become their favorite person ever and will likely keep with gift in a place and remember you every time they look at it. Plus they will likely never expect you to do this for them.

6. Your INFP is not good at confrontation. Your INFP DOES NOT like confrontation and will do anything to avoid it. They are diplomats and they keep true to the title. They try to make peace in bad situations and can often stop fights by being the nuetral go between. They are able to see both sides of the coin and will try their best to make everyone happy. Please avoid confrontation to spare INFPs becoming mentally exhausted/Upset/using every emotion they have and know of…

7. INFPs are VERY GOOD AT CONFRONTATION. (Yes we are aware of what was stated above in 6) While INFP does not like confrontation, when a friend of INFP has been wronged, it is as if something snapped in INFP and suddenly INFP will become bullet proof and will destroy its target. In plain terms, your Golden Retriever has now switched to full on Rottweiler guard dog mode. If you want this action not to be completed on your behalf, you must tell INFP before it annihilates the person that has wronged you. They have a very hurtful almost eerie way of completing this action and It is not pretty. Distract INFP with something shiny or its favorite thing to spare the person.

8. Your INFP in the embodiment of the word contradiction. (See 6 &7) Your INFP can be decisive and indecisive on the same day at basically the same time. One moment your INFP will be meek and mild like a lamb about one thing, and as vicious as a bear protecting it’s young about another. This is normal and in time will become less and less surprising.

Pro Tip: Don’t try to change this quality. It actually adds to INFPs quirkiness and overall personality. Plus their feelings WILL get hurt

9. Your INFP is very strong and can be very stubborn, but will cave if they love a person. Treat your INFP with care as their love for you will make them give in to doing most of what you want to make you happy. Consult with your INFP to be sure what you re doing/planning makes them happy too. More often than not it will, but they will appreciate the consideration and only love you more. (Be prepared for a 15-30 minutes conversation and possible tangents)

10. Your INFP needs to talk to you! Your INFP has a habit of keeping everything in. In their mind, the less they trouble you with their problems, somehow to them makes it better for everyone else. If left unchecked, INFP will slowly erode and self destruct and feel unlved and misunderstood. You must ask them how they are doing and spend one on one time with them often. It would be simple if asking how your INFP was was a simple as asking “how are you?” But it is NOT. You must sometimes be a little forceful. Show that you care.

Pro Tip: Invite INFP over for bonding time. Give them a warm cup of coffee/tea and a cozy place to sit. Be ready to listen. CAUTION! This will likely take from 2-8+ hours. Make a day for it!

These are the top 10 instructions for your new INFP friend! We would post more, but sadly the model INFP comes with 75 additional volumes each with 700+ pages per volume! But this is a good way to get started and get to knowing your new INFP!

Have fun with your new friend and Congratulations!

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mor-ranr

2 years ago

It'd be interesting to see what body languages you've learned from your snakes😊

Okay, I can give it a go! Unfortunately I don't have photos or videos of most of these behaviors so I'm hoping that my descriptions will be sufficient.

Corn snake body language, as interpreted by me, a human who can barely interact with other humans:

Behavior: Reaching with straight neck, body is relaxed, slow tongue flicks

Meaning: "What's that thing? I'm interested."

Behavior: Reaching with neck held slightly back but not an S-shape, body is tense, fast tongue flicks

Meaning: "That's probably food."

Behavior: Pressing with tip of nose, may be followed by a slow bite if the behavior is not interrupted

Meaning: "I'm like 99% sure this is food."

Behavior: Pressing with tip of nose, followed by wiping side of face along a surface, repeated

Meaning: "I'm trying to shed"

Behavior: Neck in an S-shape, head flattened

Meaning: "I don't like that."

Behavior: Neck in an S-shape accompanied by heavy breathing, puffed-up body, and hissing noise on exhale

Meaning: "I really don't like that."

Behavior: Fast, short strike accompanied by loud hiss noise

Meaning: "I really, really don't like that."

Behavior: Flailing body during handling

Meaning: "I don't feel safe, I need to get out of here!"

Behavior: Excreting yellowish liquid from the cloaca that smells like burnt plastic

Meaning: "I am very stinky and not at all delicious, please leave me alone"

Behavior: Wrapping tail or body around handler's hand/wrist

Meaning: "You are safe, please protect me."

Behavior: Vibrating tip of tail, may occur during other defensive behaviors

Meaning: "Leave me alone"

Behavior: Vibrating tip of tail during feeding

Meaning: "I'm busy right now, let me handle this"

Behavior: Shoving body firmly against human hand when touched

Meaning: "Don't touch me there"

Behavior: Twitching body lightly when touched, may be observed with humans or with other snakes

Meaning: "I'm the dominant snake" or "I'm very sexy"

Behavior: Twitching or writhing over their own body, often in a circle, only observed in males

Meaning: "I think I've found a sexy lady and I haven't yet realized this is my own butt."

Behavior: Clicking or a slight hissing noise not accompanied by any defensive behaviors. Snake may open mouth periodically

Meaning: "I'm sick. Please take me to the doctor."

Behavior: Rubbing nose against wall or ceiling of enclosure repeatedly. This is also called "Glass-Surfing"

Meaning: "I don't feel safe here and I need to leave immediately" or "It is breeding season and there have got to be other snakes somewhere nearby."

Behavior: Climbing on top of cage decorations or resting in high places

Meaning: "I like to be tall"

Behavior: Burrowing under substrate

Meaning: "I like to be snuggly"

Behavior: Rubbing face or entire body against cage decor, may be accompanied by constant movement/pacing, not directly associated with shedding.

Meaning: "I'm itchy" (Check for mites)

Behavior: Staring at keeper while in enclosure, often with raised head, may press nose against wall or ceiling of enclosure without rubbing

Meaning: "What are you doing? I recognize you."

Behavior: Sitting in water dish

Meaning: "I'm too hot"

Behavior: Sitting in empty water dish

Meaning: "I'm thirsty"

Behavior: Pooping in water dish

Meaning: "I have learned that this will be cleaned quickly. I am too intelligent to be trusted."

Behavior: Pacing cage, burrowing or attempting to burrow, accompanied by weight gain in back half of body only, observed in females. May also show disinterest in feeding

Meaning: "I'm gravid and I need a nest for my eggs."

Behavior: Refusing food

Meaning: "I'm too cold, I'm getting ready to shed, I don't feel well, I don't feel safe, or it's breeding season and I'm too distracted to eat" (Check husbandry and be cognizant of your snake's body condition, age, and sexual maturity)

I hope this helps somebody to better connect with their corn snake pals! If I've missed any critical behaviors, please let me know!

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mor-ranr

4 years ago

aro culture is somehow giving really good romantic advice to friends, but still not understanding what the fuck romance feelings are like "haha yeah like, what even is a crush though? lol" "no like. seriously. can someone explain it?"

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