Most Ironic Photos

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

It'd be interesting to see what body languages you've learned from your snakes😊

Okay, I can give it a go! Unfortunately I don't have photos or videos of most of these behaviors so I'm hoping that my descriptions will be sufficient.

Corn snake body language, as interpreted by me, a human who can barely interact with other humans:

Behavior: Reaching with straight neck, body is relaxed, slow tongue flicks

Meaning: "What's that thing? I'm interested."

Behavior: Reaching with neck held slightly back but not an S-shape, body is tense, fast tongue flicks

Meaning: "That's probably food."

Behavior: Pressing with tip of nose, may be followed by a slow bite if the behavior is not interrupted

Meaning: "I'm like 99% sure this is food."

Behavior: Pressing with tip of nose, followed by wiping side of face along a surface, repeated

Meaning: "I'm trying to shed"

Behavior: Neck in an S-shape, head flattened

Meaning: "I don't like that."

Behavior: Neck in an S-shape accompanied by heavy breathing, puffed-up body, and hissing noise on exhale

Meaning: "I really don't like that."

Behavior: Fast, short strike accompanied by loud hiss noise

Meaning: "I really, really don't like that."

Behavior: Flailing body during handling

Meaning: "I don't feel safe, I need to get out of here!"

Behavior: Excreting yellowish liquid from the cloaca that smells like burnt plastic

Meaning: "I am very stinky and not at all delicious, please leave me alone"

Behavior: Wrapping tail or body around handler's hand/wrist

Meaning: "You are safe, please protect me."

Behavior: Vibrating tip of tail, may occur during other defensive behaviors

Meaning: "Leave me alone"

Behavior: Vibrating tip of tail during feeding

Meaning: "I'm busy right now, let me handle this"

Behavior: Shoving body firmly against human hand when touched

Meaning: "Don't touch me there"

Behavior: Twitching body lightly when touched, may be observed with humans or with other snakes

Meaning: "I'm the dominant snake" or "I'm very sexy"

Behavior: Twitching or writhing over their own body, often in a circle, only observed in males

Meaning: "I think I've found a sexy lady and I haven't yet realized this is my own butt."

Behavior: Clicking or a slight hissing noise not accompanied by any defensive behaviors. Snake may open mouth periodically

Meaning: "I'm sick. Please take me to the doctor."

Behavior: Rubbing nose against wall or ceiling of enclosure repeatedly. This is also called "Glass-Surfing"

Meaning: "I don't feel safe here and I need to leave immediately" or "It is breeding season and there have got to be other snakes somewhere nearby."

Behavior: Climbing on top of cage decorations or resting in high places

Meaning: "I like to be tall"

Behavior: Burrowing under substrate

Meaning: "I like to be snuggly"

Behavior: Rubbing face or entire body against cage decor, may be accompanied by constant movement/pacing, not directly associated with shedding.

Meaning: "I'm itchy" (Check for mites)

Behavior: Staring at keeper while in enclosure, often with raised head, may press nose against wall or ceiling of enclosure without rubbing

Meaning: "What are you doing? I recognize you."

Behavior: Sitting in water dish

Meaning: "I'm too hot"

Behavior: Sitting in empty water dish

Meaning: "I'm thirsty"

Behavior: Pooping in water dish

Meaning: "I have learned that this will be cleaned quickly. I am too intelligent to be trusted."

Behavior: Pacing cage, burrowing or attempting to burrow, accompanied by weight gain in back half of body only, observed in females. May also show disinterest in feeding

Meaning: "I'm gravid and I need a nest for my eggs."

Behavior: Refusing food

Meaning: "I'm too cold, I'm getting ready to shed, I don't feel well, I don't feel safe, or it's breeding season and I'm too distracted to eat" (Check husbandry and be cognizant of your snake's body condition, age, and sexual maturity)

I hope this helps somebody to better connect with their corn snake pals! If I've missed any critical behaviors, please let me know!

“Falling in love” feels like that movie/series that everyone is flipping out about, but you haven’t seen. Then you see memes and fanart all over the internet or all these references you just learn is associated with it. Then people flip out once you say you haven’t seen this movie/series and everyone goes “How can you not have seen it?”, “Is that even physically possible?” And “You gotta see it at least once in your life”

But you don’t see it. It’s either not available or you don’t have time or money or they don’t sell it where you are, etc…and for the rest of your life, people just keep talking about it and you just. Never. Get. The. Chance. And you feel like you’re missing out, but at the same time, you got better things to do or other movies to watch, that many missed out on. So, then, of course, you just get so happy every time you see someone referencing or selling figures and cups of these not at all famous characters that you know and love.

Do you feel me?

Fave thing about Aromanticism?

Mine is the fact that aro is punk af. What’s your fave thing about our phenomenal community?

Aro culture is learning not to show your excitement over making new friends because everyone will say you have a crush.

Change.org

Aromantic has been added to the dictionary! All three words added! We did it!

I have exciting news! Merriam Webster has added aromantic to the dictionary! That means all three words we were asking them to add have been

ASEXUAL, AGENDER, AND AROMANTIC ARE NOW OFFICIAL WORDS IN THE ENGLISH DICTIONARY

why do i have to find an actual job instead of being the apprentice of the old witch who lives in the woods?

Dragons are basically fish, when you get down to it.

There’s no such thing as fish. The word doesn’t have any taxonomic meaning. It’s a word we’ve used to describe everything from hagfish to goldfish, even though a coelacanth is more closely related to a camel than a salmon. But because they inhabit the same ecological niche of “vertebrate animal with gills and fins,” we call them all fish.

Likewise, there’s no such thing as dragons. We call anything that fills the mytho-ecological niche of “dangerous animal that blocks the way” a dragon. And that’s why any kind of argument of what does and doesn’t count as a dragon is moot — wyverns are dragons just as much as a jabberwock or a jaculus or a tatzelwurm, not because they’re closely related in a biological clade but because they fill a narrative niche.

Dragons are also lobsters, but that’s for unrelated reasons.

do i want to do that because i really want to do it, or do i just want to change my life drastically?

whatever our souls are made of, you and me are going to end up stuck in the same ice hole