Boy, I Felt That One

I love the phrase "they get along like a house on fire". It's perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it's setting off the carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died

just because music isnt playing doesnt mean im not listening to it

what if you went into a bar and the bartender was a fungus-girl and when she gave you your drink she said “you seem like a really fungi!” only some of her spores broke off in the drink and when they reached your stomach they started growing and spreading and entering your bloodstream and at last one reached your brain stem where it planted itself firmly and then your own body started acting against your will and you hiked and you climbed to a very tall place, far above all the foliage, and at last the fungi burst out of your eyes, sprouting into a thousand different intricate colors, and before long a bird girl showed up and started poking at your flesh and you realize in your last moments that this is what it’s all about, you were always meant to join the chain of life only as a single link in some monstrous fungi’s reproductive cycle—and before you can even scream the bird girl plucks your head off with her beak. and and and what if it were like a sexual thing

lucky i wasn’t born with a dick bc i’d get hard from seeing a beautiful body of water

The relationship between a girl and the random shit on her bedside table

The Gorgon sisters by Yang J

My fav parts about the pjo show so far

- sally mf jackson (no explanation needed)

- grover casually spilling i’m 24 as they race to go to camp (like grover give him a min he still thinks his dad is jesus)

- dionysus telling percy he’s his dad?? and the way percy just resigned himself to it like yup okay that adds up what else is new

- “when the time comes he’ll be ready” cut to percy doing the floss LMAO

- “are you stalking me annabeth? yes” (girl has zero chill and i’m living for it)

- “I am sally Jackson’s son” (hell yeah percy go be the momma’s boy you are)

so....vampirism. by medical definition, an STD. we are agreed, yes?

guy who only heard the phrase gaslighting once and is misremembering it: stop fleshlighting me

sory i bought polymer clay earings from uour wifes etsy store and cast one of her thumprints and used it to access your family safe and i stole your comically large bagof money with dolar signs painted on it