I Always Wonder Wtf Y’all Think I Look Like-

Your Pretend Boyfriend

paring ✦ Eddie Munson x reader

summary ✦ You back from college, visiting during thanksgiving break. Jason Carver has always liked you the feelings not mutual. So when you catch him harassing Eddie you pretend to be his girlfriend. What happens with your pretend boyfriend? CONTAINS SMUT

word count ✦ 3,200ish

authors note ✦ BRO I’m almost to 300 followers and 5000+ likes omg y’all are tooooo sweeet to me hope y’all enjoy this

masterlist

FEEDBACK AND REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!!

⊹ ꙳ ✦ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹

The sound of your someone calling for you takes your gaze away from your phone. Looking up expecting to see your best friend. The two of you had plans to meet at this restaurant to catch up. You were in town visiting during thanksgiving break.

To your dissatisfaction it’s none other than Jason Carver. You groan annoyed knowing where this was headed. You’re parents were close and they always rooted for the two of you to end up together. Not a single part of you wanted anything to do with him. He was a few years younger than you. Also the worst human being on planet earth.

“You visiting for break?” He smiles leaning on the wall where you’re standing.

“Yup.” You say with no emotions, giving your full attention on your phone. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of giving him any attention.

“What brings you here?”

“Meeting someone.” You answer eyes still on your phone, scrolling on something random. Pretending to be busy.

“Who?” He ask curiously.

“Can we skip to the part where you say something nasty, I tell you to fuck off and then you leave me alone?” You spit out, disregarding his previous question.

“We should hookup while your in town, give you some good ol dickin’ down. I’m sure those college boys can’t fuck you like I would.” There it is.

“For the millionth time that will never happen.” You respond, desperately waiting for your friend to arrive.

“Sheesh have you’ve always been such a bitch?” He laughs. When you don’t respond Jason walks off deflated.

You pray that is the end of that. Only for him to find his next victim. A curly headed boy you definitely remember, Eddie. It’d be hard to forget someone like him. Jason hated him, for whatever reason which made you gravitate towards him. You two were never all that close only exchanging hellos in the hallways. Occasionally bonding over your hatred of Jason. More than once telling Jason to leave their group alone.

Just as your deep in thought, thinking about Munson your phone dings. It’s the friend you were waiting for, she’s canceling on you. Her two year olds sick and can’t make it. You sigh out loud annoyed but understanding, typing a quick response.

You’re attention goes back to Eddie and Jason. Eddie was sat by himself, probably waiting for someone. Jason is giving him shit for being at a restaurant all by himself. It crosses your mind for a second and before you can realize how bad this idea is your on your way to Eddie’s table.

“Hey babe,” You smile greeting Eddie, confusion immediately spreads across his face. You mouth ‘just go along with it’ as you sit down next to him, careful so Jason doesn’t see. You plant a small kiss on his cheek, his confusion turns to a grin.

“Hey princess,” His arm slings around your shoulder. The pet name sends a heat through your body, you quickly push that away. You look up to Jason who’s slack-jawed.

“There’s no fucking way.” He whines.

“What?” You ask playing dumb.

“There’s no fucking way you two are dating.” Jason responds.

“We’ve been dating for six months, right babe?” You ask nuzzling yourself deeper into Eddie’s embrace.

“Almost seven.” He smiles, proudly.

“We actually have you to thank for that. Bumped into each other, bonded over our dislike for you. Been inseparable since.” You laugh because Jason looks pissed making this so worth it. He goes to speak but can’t get anything out, obviously frustrated.

“We’re gonna have a quick little lunch. Then head back to his place so he can give a good ol dickn’ down. That’s what you called it right?” You watch as Jason’s eyes go wide, full of pure disgust before running out of the restaurant. Once he’s out of hearing range you start erupting out in laughter, Eddie joining you.

“That was amazing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so speechless.” Eddie talks catching his breath from laughing so hard.

“I can’t stand him. He’s been up my ass for as long as I can remember. Saw the opportunity and took it.” You respond, looking over to Eddie’s who’s arm still rests on your shoulder. He notices you noticing and pulls away.

“You don’t have an actual girlfriend right? Otherwise this’d be kinda awkward.” You ask.

“Yeah actually I do.” Unknowingly your face falls, upset that he does.

“We met six months ago been inseparable since.” He teases, you roll your eyes realizing what he means. A silence falls over you two and you can’t help but feel like you’ve overstayed your welcome.

“I’ll leave you be. Thanks for participating in my antics.” You smile standing up from the table.

“I just got myself a girlfriend I ain’t letting you so quick.” You turn to face Eddie.

“We’ve been dating for all of five minutes and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had.” He smiles, motioning for you to sit back down. Your intrigued so you sit down, this time on the other side of the booth.

“Are you sure? Someone’s not gonna show up and be upset I’m here?” You ask, seriously not wanting to impose.

“Don’t worry about it. Plans canceled.” He shoots you a smile before pulling his phone out, typing away for a moment.

“You really don’t have to do that.”

“Hang out with my beautiful older college girlfriend? Whom I only see during school breaks. Or hangout with my friends I see everyday at school? Uhhhh I think I’ll choose my girlfriend.” His words bring a cheesy grin to your lips.

“Okay I guess I can stay and enjoy lunch with my boyfriend.” You sigh, pretending like it’s an inconvenience for you. In reality your happy, your plans fell through and now your sat across from a long haired tatted hottie.

“How old are you? Not trying to catch a case.” You tease almost positive he’s of legal age. Better safe then sorry.

“19.” He responds between laughing at your joke.

—

Lunch with Eddie was amazing, part of you grateful your friend canceled on you last minute. You feel an instant connection, not wanting the date to end quite yet. The two of you are walking out of the restaurant, hand in hand. Your brain scrambling for an excuse to prolong this date.

“So what was that comment you made about a good ol dickin’ down about?” Eddie asks and almost immediately it’s like a light bulb goes off your head.

“Jason’s been trying to make the moves on me since forever. Just before I joined my boyfriend our date he offered to do that me.” You laugh, you’re not sure where you two are headed just following Eddie’s lead.

“You and Jason, you never?”

“Never ever.”

“That’s crazy. I remember rumors went around about the two of you dating all the time.” He says, processing this new information. Jason Carver wanted you yet you were her with Eddie. He was excited by that thought but at the same time puzzled.

“Started by him. He made my high school experience hell.” You admit.

“Same here.” He sighs, you two reaching his van. Realizing this is where the date either continues or ends.

“Should we keep our story going?” You ask. Noticing Jason sat in his car with his friends, he’s watching the two of you. If he wants to watch, you’d give him a show. Mostly for own selfish desires.

“What?” He asks so you nod in the direction of Jason car full of jocks, watching Eddie’s gaze move from you to them.

“I told Jason we’d have a little lunch and then go your place where’d you give me a good ol dickin’ down.” You cringe at the usage of Jason’s phrase. Eddie’s attention whips back to you because of the words coming from your mouth.

“Gotta make it believable, right?”

“Yeah.” He says. Eddie is hesitant not because he doesn’t want to but because he can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic. You push him towards his van, his back hitting it makes a loud thud. If they weren’t looking they are now.

You get closer, closing the gap between you two. Reaching for his hair, running your fingers through it. You had been wanting to do this since you sat at his table. Wishing he’d call you princess again.

“Is this okay?” You ask to which Eddie nods eagerly. Without missing a beat you kiss him. Softly at first, testing the waters. Eddie melts into your touch, his hand reaching around sliding his hands in your butt pockets. He pulls you closer into him, squeezing your ass in the process. Causing you to let out a little gasp surprised by his bravery. He smiles mid kiss only making you want more. The kisses becoming more aggressive, the wetness starting to pool in your panties.

“Get a fucking room, freaks!” Jason yells and then the sound of tires screeching past you two startles you momentarily. You pull away, grinning. Eddie’s eyes are closed, the biggest smile on his face.

“Still don’t think it’s believable enough.” You say, sighing your tone suggestive.

“Really?” Eddie asks, sounding confused.

You roll your eyes, “Your beautiful older college girlfriend wants a good ol dickn’ down.”

“You.. want me to-” He stutters, stopping before you finish for him.

“I want you to fuck me.” His dick twitches in his jeans because of the six words that came out of your mouth.

“Do you want that?” You ask.

“Yes.” He gulps, excited for what’s coming. Hopefully him soon. He opens the car door for you, you climb inside disregarding the fact that you drove yourself here. Your horny brain fogging your mind deciding in the moment you’d figure it out later.

This wasn’t like you, you never hooked up with someone so shortly after getting to know them. You couldn’t help but feel like something about this situation was different. Eddie was different, like a good different.

It’s a very short but also painfully long drive to his home. Eddie’s never been so thankful for his uncle to be out of town, couldn’t of picked a better time to leave him home alone. The drive is mostly silent, filled with music and stealing glances at each other.

As soon as Eddie parks at his home he’s out of the car running to your door, letting you out. He grabs your hand leading you to the front door. Where he struggles for a few moments to find the right key. Once inside, he shuts the door behind you before facing you. His hands press firmly on your ass to lift you, your legs straddling his body. This time he’s the one to initiate the kiss, carrying you to wherever. You didn’t care as long as Eddie was there.

For a moment your startled when he drops you on his bed. Your allowed a quick glance around his room, taking it in before you look up to see Eddie. He’s shirtless now and his shoes are missing. So you follows in his steps ripping your shoes off. When you go to take your shirt off he stops you with a intense kiss before doing it Aw himself, then unhooks you bra exposing your bare chest.

He pulls away to take in the view, “Fuck you’re beautiful.”

Eddie smashes his lips on yours pushing you back into the bed before kissing down you neck only to stop at your nipple. The sensation is enough for you to let out a sweet moan slightly arching you back into him. Mouth still attached to you while his hands are busy unbuttoning your pants, pulling them down quickly along with your panties.

You curse your self for not wearing something sexier but you had no idea this where’d you be today. Part of you embarrassed you haven’t shaved in a while. Your worries are immediately put at ease when he spreads your thighs, letting his head rest between them.

“Beautiful.” Her murmurs before placing a sugary kiss on your clit, sending a shockwave through your body. His tongue begins rubbing against your bud. Without thinking your hands find his hair, pushing him deeper between your folds. Your head falls back, moans leaving you lips. When you think it can’t get any better, he slips a long strong finger in your pussy. Pumping into you the same pace as his tongue that is still toying with your clit.

“More please-“ You whine and Eddie listens adding another finger, stretching you out. Your a mess under his touch. Never once has a man prioritized your pleasure. You’ve become masterful at giving yourself orgasms. The feeling of it being at the hands of someone else unfamiliar. A good unfamiliarity.

“Fuckk- Eddie I’m..” Your words turn into strangled moans, a tightness growing in your stomach. Your breath hitches as you pulsate on his thick fingers, your eyes rolling back as you come undone. Your busy riding out your high but the feeling of his fingers leaving you brings you back down to reality. His laps up your juices one last time before speaking.

“Mm so sweet.” Eddie purrs sucking on his own two fingers that were covered in your juices. They leave his mouth with a popping sound as he sits up in the bed.

“My turn.” You say barley audible sitting up reaching for the button on his jeans. Wanting nothing more than to wrap your lips around his cock. He stops your hands causing you to look up to Eddie, you cant help but pout.

“I don’t think I’ll last long with your pretty lips sucking me off right now. Next time, okay?” You nod smiling at the thought there’d be a next time. Eddie kisses you pushing your head back onto the bed. Only pulling away to pull his pants off and grab a condom from his bed side table. You watch intently as his pulls down his boxers, revealing his cock. You let out a gasp as it hits his stomach, never once had you seen one this big. Eddie smiles at your reaction while unwrapping the condom. Slowly rolling it over the tip of his dick and down the entirety of his hard length.

Eddie gets back on top of you, spreading your legs. He lets the tip rest on you swollen clit before dragging it down to your hole. Slowly, inch by inch you adjust to his size. He bottoms out, you let out a whimper because you’ve never felt fuller. He uses his hands to lift your thighs up so he can get better angle before starting a slow motion. Pumping in and out of you at a painfully slow pace, only making you desperate for him to pick up the pace.

He leans down to your level, his head resting in the crook of your neck. Your chest being flattened by his. One hand rests at the back of his neck, tightening in his hair and the other hands digs into his back as he bucks his hip harder into you. He’s thrusting harder but you desperately need him faster.

“Faster- please.” You say and it comes out as a whine. You get exactly what you want because he pushed up so he can see you before recklessly pounding into you cunt faster than before. He guides your hands so you can hold your own legs up, using his free hand to find your clit running circles around it sloppily.

“How does that feel princess?” He grunts between thrusts, his finger still playing with your bud. You can’t help but smile at the pet name. He finally said it again. When you don’t respond he rocks his hips harder and you start feeling that tightening in your stomach again.

“Fuck.” You cry out, knowing you’re about to cum for the second time. The sensation of your pussy throbbing on his cock as you get closer to finishing nearly sends him over the edge but he’s determined to make you cum again. His fingers work more tactically on your clit which is just enough to have you gushing on his dick.

“Good girl.” He groans. Not even a second later he’s cumming inside the condom, inside you. Suddenly wishing that thin little layer of latex wasn’t there so you could feel his seed coat your inner walls. He kisses you sweetly one last time before pulling out and falling next to you. His chest heaving up and dow as he tried to catch his breath. You rest on his chest, listening to his heart beat.

“Was that believable?” He asks, out of breath.

“What?” You ask confused to drunk on dick to comprehend.

“Was that a good ol dickin’ down?” He laughs. You roll your eyes before nodding your head, yes.

—

The next two weeks we’re spent under and on top of Eddie Munson any chance you got. Dreading the fact that when break came to an end you’d have to head back to school. It was a three hour drive from Hakwins. You just got Eddie and couldn’t imagine having to let go so soon.

Eddie was so grateful Wayne left for the two weeks during thanksgiving break. He had a whole two weeks of uninterrupted time with you. He tried hard no to think about the fact you’d be leaving him in a short time. If he thought about it too much he’d upset himself, usually pushing the thoughts away focusing on the time he did have with you. So to say he was surprised when you invited him to have thanksgiving dinner with your family would be an understatement.

When you found out Eddie would be spending thanksgiving day alone you didn’t hesitate to invite him. Your heart felt for him when he admitted he never really celebrated holidays with Wayne always working. You were determined to make it perfect.

Explaining to you parents why this random dude was coming over on thanksgiving dinner was the hardest part. Only for Eddie to introduce him self as your boyfriend of seven months. They look at you like ‘what the fuck’ to which only caused you to laugh. Cursing yourself for not get your stories straight. More than happy to continue the bit but wished you could of prepared better.

“So how’d you two meet them?” Your father asks curiously. You both say different answers. You blurt out high school and he says you two met at a restaurant.

“We’ll we went to high school together, knew of each other. Ran into each other at Danny’s Dinner and hit it off.” You explain further, their faces telling that they don’t believe anything coming out of your mouth. They never question any further, thankfully.

—

Todays the dreaded day. The day you leave for college. You had already said your goodbyes to your family. Deciding what time you had left would be spent with Eddie. The two of you had just finished fucking for possibly the last time. Your brain had been heavily worried about what would happen when you left. It’s now or never, you need to ask him.

“I’m gonna miss you.” Eddie sighs. You sit up to face him, he’s laid in bed looking at the roof.

“I’ll miss you too. What are we doing?” You ask, trying to read his reaction. He looks at you with a smile.

“I don’t know about you but I’ve been faithfully committed to you for the last seven months.” He teases.

“I’m being serious Eddie.” You groan.

“Me too, princess.”

“So we are-?” You start to ask and he interrupts.

“Yes we are. Your all mine.” He kisses you.

“All yours.” You melt into his kiss, fucking one more ttime. time.

AHH

It'll be up sometime this week ;)

dilf!schlatt with young adult!reader who babysits his daughter every weekend while he’s out on business trips. dilf!schlatt who starts to notice how good of a parent you would be to his sweet little girl. dilf!schlatt making up excuses for you to come over his house and spend the night. dilf!schlatt railing the shit out of you after you put his daughter to bed and him covering your mouth with his hand in order to keep you quiet.

sorry i’m very tired and very horny and i haven’t stopped thinking about this :)

YES OH MY GOD IMMEDIATELY! I am 100 percent doing this right now. This is only part one ;)

Warnings: Basically just one use of "fucking"

Part 2 coming soon...

Midnight Babysitting

You were startled awake by a phone ringing. Schlatt. He was the only one who could be calling you at 11 pm. Whether it was to tell him what to read to her, or coming over because he just couldn't get her to eat her dinner, it had to be him.

Of course, he was the only one whose house you would visit at 11 pm as well.

"Hello?" You didn't realize just how groggy you sounded until you spoke.

"Hey, I'm really sorry to be calling you this late, but Lily won't go to bed. I've tried everything and she just won't stop talking about you so I had to call you." The fake guilt just pouring from his lips as he continued.

"Yeah, no problem, I can come help."

"Are you sure? Because I can keep trying if you wa-"

"J, you called me at eleven, woke me up, and arent expecting me to come? You must be out of your fucking mind. I'll be there in ten."

MASTERLIST!

Jschlatt

Midnight babysitting- Part 1 Part 2

The Best Neighbor- Blurb

King!Schlatt blurb

The Schlatt Way (blurb)

Brahms Heelshire

Bathtime

Michael Myers

A Broken Promise

Collared

Thick (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Billy Lenz

A Lone Call

Charlie Walker

An Unforgettable Dream

Face Sitting

Killer!Reader Headcannons

Happy Tears

Too Tall

The Lion and The Loser (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Survival Tactics (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Pink Skirts (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

The Best Kind of Crazy (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Crazy in Love (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Only Friends (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Sweet Dreams (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Mask On, Mask Off (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Blood Lust (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Reverse Stalker (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Eddie Munson

Besties (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Gabriel (2014)

Like a Drug (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Ollie Sway

Creep (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Crowley (Good Omens)

Good morning

Bentley (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

I’ll Be Good (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

Aziraphale (Good Omens)

I’ll Be Good (Inbox, Coming Soon!)

thinking abt changing my pfp but idk if i wanna get rid of danny 😭

AFEISGSJ I SAW YOU IN MY IN OX TODAY ADN I FREAKED OUT OMG I’VE MISSED YOIUUUU

IVE MISSED YOU TOO KAIIII <3

MHA boys getting caught masturbating

———————————————————————————

authors note : hello all, I know ive been writing a lot of MHA related stuff lately, but do not worry. that isn’t all I wrote about LOL, im just in a MHA mood. if you want me to write for any other characters just go ahead and ask, saves me time instead of me having to think of different characters to write for. cheers :)

characters - (izuku midoriya, shoto todoroki, katsuki bakugo)

warnings - nsfw obviously

minors don’t be doing no funky shit, get lost or just hide in the shadows idc

enjoy !

———————————————————————————

Izuku Midoriya

- when you initially walk in on him his head is flung back, legs spread, naked chest heaving, and his hand on his cock. what a sight.

- he doesn’t even notice you until after he cums, so when he finally looks forward and sees you staring at him he screams and grabs a pillow to try and hide his dick.

“Y/N !!!???, OMG IM SO S-SO SORRY”

- he refuses to look at you until you move towards him and sit at the corner of the bed.

“want some help ?”

- he looks at you absolutely shocked but nods shyly nonetheless

Shoto Todoroki

- notices you straight away and immediately looks away from you, his face completely red and his fire side raging out of control.

“y/n… please knock next time..”

- he still refuses to look at you, the duvet brought over himself in an attempt to hide his erect cock spewing cum everywhere.

- you both stay there for a while until you decide to speak up and break the awkward silence.

“shoto, would you like me to help you finish ?”

- he snaps his head towards you and stares at you wide eyed before hanging his head low in embarrassment.

“…yes please”

Katsuki Bakugo

- the second he notices you his eyes blow wide and he starts saying curses under his breath. he finally looks at you after about a minute of silence, cheeks dusted pink.

“enjoying the fucking show ? hurry up and get out.”

- you decide to ignore him and keep staring at his naked figure, nipples perked and abs flexed under a glossy sheen of sweat. your mind runs wild as you catch you bottom lip between your teeth and play with the bottom of your skirt.

- bakugo notices your change in behaviour and let’s out a chuckle before sitting up straight and crossing his legs, cock still on display.

“for gods sake, stop eye fucking me and get over here”

———————————————————————————

Hi can you write an established relationship with Crowley from Good Omens and they’re just waking up together, maybe they had just had their first time the night before so some teasing or something but mainly fluffy and preferably female reader but gn reader is fine too

Good Morning

Crowley x Fem!Reader

A/N: I decided to change it up from them waking up together to something I thought would be cuter. I hope you enjoy! <3

Word count: 251

Warnings: Fluff, all the fluff, a lil mention of smut, Crowley being a little shit but we love him anyways, kinda short sorry, not proofread, anything I missed

You sat up and rubbed the blur from your eyes and looked beside you. Nothing. That’s weird, Crowley was usually right beside you with a kiss when you woke up. You put on your underwear and one of his button-ups that you loved so much as you wandered downstairs.

“Crowley?” You called out into the seemingly empty flat.

“Kitchen, love!” You heard him singing along to some Queen song after calling down to you. You waltzed into the kitchen and saw him in just his boxers and a “kiss the cook” apron, cooking something that smelt amazing.

“Ah! Just in time, darling! Here, have a taste,” He grabbed a spoonful of something out of a pot and blew on it slightly before bringing it to your mouth. Holy shit. He can fuck, and he can cook. What a catch.

“Holy fuck, this is good. How are you so perfect?” He laughed and kissed you softly before bringing you to his chest and holding you tightly.

“So, how was last night? Was my cock good enough for you?” He emphasized the word “cock” with a teasing thrust of his hips to your backside. You gasped softly and giggled and turned around.

“Yes, you perv. You were perfect,” You placed a kiss to his mouth and he smiled against you “I love you, Crow.”

“I love you too, darling. Now,” He slapped your ass before walking into the dining room with you. “Shall we eat?”

Fuck, you’d do anything for that man.

Working on requests today! (or at least trying to…)

JJ: Why the fuck are you moving so fast?

*Me, maneuvering around the kitchen, making a strawberry milk*

Me: I need to get it done before the poptarts po- NOOO

*The poptarts pop, and I drop to my knees, literally sobbing*

JJ: Wtf is wrong with you

Credit to @certifiedleashchild