Your Heart Is A Muscle The Size Of A Rat

Bothersome beast, comforting friend

The party was attacked by a colony of wererats in a cave system. The wizard/rogue had a plan to use a scroll of mass teleport to escape, but everyone had to be within 20 feet of him, and the warlock was about to run down a corridor deeper into the wererat colony to take out as many as possible. The paladin cast Compelled Duel on the warlock to force him to attack her and move within 20 feet of the wizard/rogue.

Warlock: I’m going to kill you now!

Paladin: First you have to hit me!

Warlock: What’s your armor class without your armor on?

Paladin: What?

Warlock: I cast Command– “STRIP!”

Pichu and charizard fusion

Warlock-Patron Relationships

DM: So you can have a begrudging relationship, a master-student sort of thing, could even be romantic

Warlock: Wait a second, are you telling me Cthulhu can be my sugar daddy?!

DM: …

"First we survive, then we can start looking for our Half-Elf on the Shelf."

GM: Whoo! More doors!

Druid: Mordor? That’s where the One Ring is kept!