20 | vocaloid, jjk, haikyuu and gravity falls enthusiast | đ¨đż | she/her
266 posts
i need her in my life
likes to charge, reblogs to cast
No no you don't understand! I want to watch this show/movie, read this book, listen to this podcast, etc.! But I must be in the right mindset and the exact head space to begin, or I just can't!
like to charge reblog to cast
đŻď¸ đŻď¸ đŻď¸
đŻď¸đŻď¸ may all đŻď¸đŻď¸
đŻď¸đŻď¸corrupt politiciansđŻď¸đŻď¸
đŻď¸đŻď¸ meet their fate đŻď¸đŻď¸
đŻď¸đŻď¸ â§Íâŕźhappy idesŕźââ§ÍđŻď¸đŻď¸
đŻď¸đŻď¸ to all đŻď¸đŻď¸
đŻď¸ đŻď¸ đŻď¸
When the 'save' button doesn't take me directly to my files
french people really drew lesbians kissing beautifully that it changed the trajectory of my whole life
Take a knife or two to complete any tasks you need to finish soon. Reblog to give your mutuals a knife for any group projects you may be working on
Write it shitty, write it scared, write it without a clue but don't you be so spineless and have an AI write fanfic for you.
You can only reblog this today.
VĂĄvra hĂĄjĂcĂ homosexualitu ve stĹedovÄku pĹed nĂĄcky nebylo na mĂŠm 2025 bingu, ale kdyĹž to 1) ZabavĂ VĂĄvru od vyjadĹovĂĄnĂ se k Äemukoliv jinĂ˝mu. 2) Nasere nĂĄcky, proÄ ne. Jen do nich, cype, pouĹžij to pĹeroslĂ˝ ego k nÄÄemu spoleÄnosti prospÄĹĄnĂ˝mu!
'ao3 needs a like and dislike button'
what you need, my algorithm-rotten minded friend, is a grip
here some caitvi fluff and kisses and viâs tattooed back just because đŤśđť ( sorry Iâve been working on some personal projects so itâs been a while ) đЎ
"AO3 doesn't need a "dislike" button"
Um, actually, it already has one. Depending on your specs, it might look a little different but over all it looks kinda like this:
You can find it at the corner of your screen, which corner is dependent on your layout.
Anyway, if you dislike a fic, you can hit this Dislike Button until the fic goes away. It really is pretty amazing actually.
BOOM SHAKA LAKAAAAAA
BOOMHAHAHAHAHAH
artist - @caitviolence on twt
i wanna know why caitlyn looked so surprised when vi first kissed her in that cell like girl you walked in there all flirty with no bra on đâŚ
everyone shut up. look at how cool shadow is
WHAT? LIKE IT'S HARD? âś choso kamo
abstract âś there are six physiological stages of having a crush. you just wish that you didn't have to learn this through first-hand experience. everyone said that choso kamo was a loser in high school, a quiet kid who haunted the campus with no friends. sure, he was brilliantly smart, but he dropped out in senior year. he even managed to break your heart, the glittering prom queen, with the world at your fingertips. imagine your surprise three years later, when you find yourself stuck with him in med school. what's worse? he's actually super hot now!
PART II. of the new years letters, a series of fics dedicated to some of my lovely mutuals! đ
pairing. choso kamo x afab!reader genre tags and warnings reader is practically a blair waldorf prototype (filthy rich, a bit bratty, spoiled), bestfriend!gojo, background gojo x geto, mentions of blood and injuries, med school, MISCOMMUNICATION, angst and hurt, fluff, kissing and making out. sukuna and yuuji cameos.
word count. 17.5k! song inspiration. crush culture â conan gray
a/n. shameless med student insert i rlly projected my full heart and soul into the anatomy lab ick. art belongs to all respective artists [will add credit!] crossposted on ao3 đ
dedication. for my dear kashika, first of all happy (belated) birthday @kasukuna đ wanted this to coincide with ur day but i'm late, i fear!!! you hype me up so much, send the sweetest asks and you're so damn talented that i'm left begging for an ounce of your creativity and amazing mind! your fics are so witty and well thought out and i like to think that you've spawned an incredible dumbass!bf sukuna renaissance on jjk tumblr đ idk if you remember but i sent you an ask on creamflix so long ago like the start of december asking you to choose between characters and au's so i tried lifting this as verbatim as i could from ur answer <3 hope you had the most amazing day ever!!
mp3. âś crush culture makes me wanna spill my gut out, i know what you're doing! tryna get me to pursue ya <3
You refuse to speak to Gojo Satoru ever again. Not today, not tomorrow, not in this lifetime nor the next. Heâs officially dead to you, figuratively, of course. Unfortunately.
The moment he stops cackling like a deranged hyena in the middle of your bedroom, youâre going to shove him out the door so hard that heâs going to see stars. Youâll block his number, youâll delete every photo of his smug grin, and youâre going to hire an exorcist to cleanse his essence from your life.
Except right now, your best friend is sprawled across your bed, practically writhing as he gasps for air in between bouts of ridiculous, chipmunk-like squeals. Heâs still in his uniform, having crashed at your place after school, with his white shirt untucked, sleeves pushed to his elbows and his tie dangling uselessly around his neck.
âYou are such a child,â you grumble, shoving your sticker-laden journal off your lap with a huff, just so you can aim a precise kick at his ribs. Satoru wheezes dramatically, clutching his stomach like heâs just been mortally wounded in battle.
âItâs -â heâs snickering, slapping the fine-thread sheets with the fervour of one trying to summon a higher power, âItâs just too good. I â oh my god, I really canât breathe! I think Iâm going to pass out.â
Satoruâs rolling over dramatically, dark-tinted sunglasses slipping down the bridge of his hawkish nose, leaving him to look like a cherubic bird with a bad attitude.
âIf only,â you mutter darkly, arms crossed over your own blazer as you glare daggers at the white-haired boy, âItâs not that funny.â
But Satoru just doesnât listen, of course. His grin is wide enough to split his face in half, and every breath that he takes is another affront to your polished dignity, and every stupid wheeze is a reminder that you made the colossal mistake of trusting this man with classified information.
âKeep laughing,â you say, your tone low and menacing as you snatch your phone off your nightstand, âAnd see what happens when I play offence.â
That gets Satoruâs attention, as he freezes mid-snort. Grin faltering just enough to make you feel a small and petty thrill of satisfaction, âYou wouldnât.â
âI would,â you say, already tapping away on your phone, scrolling past the ninety-nine notifications clogging Instagram. A certain raven-haired boyâs name hovers in your mind, one who shares the same initials as Gojo Satoru.
Youâre not above sending a risky message.
Hey! Gojoâs been totally obsessed with you, ever since you bashed his head in with a spiral notebook back in seventh grade, and called him a spoilt, rich kid. He draws love hearts around your name every night. Just thought you should know, XOXO.
âWait!â Satoru bolts upright so fast that his sunglasses fall into his lap, his grin morphing into a scowl as panic flashes in his too-blue eyes, âThatâs playing dirty. Totally unfair.â
âYouâre the one who laughed like a lunatic,â you say sweetly, tilting the phone towards him as if youâre about to hit send.
âYou canât be serious!â Satoru points a long, accusatory finger at you, his dramatic outrage undercut by the way his lips keep twitching, âI mean -â Another snicker escapes him as he buries his face in his hands, shoulders shaking again, âLike how? Of all people, you really have a crush on that guy.â
For a fleeting moment, you wonder if itâs too late to enrol in witness protection. It was clearly your mistake, deciding to tell Satoru critically sensitive information. Revealing the name of the boy that you were crushing on.
And yes, your type has turned out to be greasy Tim Burton reject loners who wander around school in faded Lord of the Rings hoodies.
Youâre just totally head-over-heels for Choso Kamo.
âWhatever,â you snap, shoving your phone into the pocket of your school blazer with as much dignity as you can muster under the barrage of Satoruâs relentless cackles, âYou wouldnât understand?â
âUnderstand?â Satoru shifts himself with all the casual arrogance of someone who, unfortunately, has never been truly humbled in his life, propping himself against one of your enormous plush pillows.
The velvet squishes beneath his weight, gold embroidery bunching, but heâs utterly unbothered. âEnlighten me, weâre talking about the same Kamo right? The guy who sits behind you in class, and doesnât so much blink in your direction? The one who looks like heâd rather gargle glass than talk to you?â
Another pillow sails across the bed before you even realise that youâve hurled it. It strikes him square in the face, with a satisfying thwump! Muffling his laugh as he flails, tangled in thick, down stuffing.
âHeâs just shy!â You insist, your voice rising as you get up to pace. Your Prada loafers click against the polished floor, before you kick them off. âAnd he only acts like that when others are around, by the way. He talks to me when itâs just us.â
âOh, sure,â Satoru sits up, wrestling the pillow aside with a theatrical groan. His snowy hair sticks up at angles, like heâs been electrocuted, âThatâs probably because heâs plotting his escape route while you corner him, like a lion closing in on its prey. Poor Kamoâs the gazelle.â
âJust know that Iâm blowing you up in my mind.â
Satoru huffs, âSo, what is your plan now? Are you going to ask him to prom? Are we going to see a proposal for the ages?â
You pause mid-pace, fighting the hot flush that creeps up your neck. It burns brighter as you glance towards the gilded vanity mirror, for that is exactly what you had wanted. You just needed to hear someoneâs validation, âShould I?â
Satoruâs grin falters for a second, replaced with a look of sheer disbelief, âYouâre kidding, right? That kid hates social events. You think heâs going to go with you?â
âWhy not?â Youâre fiddling with the crystal perfume decanters, the bottles of skincare on your vanity, âIâve been dropping hints, okay? Subtle ones, all that manifesting shit.â
âSubtle?â Satoru snorts, âYou mean letting half the football team pile bouquets into your locker? The locker thatâs right next to his? Oh, yeah. Super low-key. Very humble.â
âAt least I have options,â you snap back, flicking on the lights as the sun begins to sharpen its afternoon glare. Warm golden light spills across the room, catching on the ceiling-length silk drapes, âMeanwhile, I hope you end up alone at prom. Making ugly, kissy faces at Geto Suguru, while heâs with someone else.â
Satoru groans, like youâve truly pierced his heart, âCruel. So cruel when provoked,â but heâs propping himself back up on one elbow, âBut hey, if you really do like Kamo, you know that makes him my future brother-in-law or something. Thatâs cool.â
Your gasp is sharp, scandalised, âExcuse me?â
âBut think about it,â Satoru continues, ignoring your sputters, âYouâre practically confirmed to be Prom Queen. Do you really want to drag that guy up on stage with you?â
âI think youâre being judgemental,â you mutter, tugging the drapes close and blocking out the faint twinkle of the city skyline, âHeâd have to be insane not to say yes to me.â
âSomeone is going to deflate that big head of yours one day,â Satoru says, and his voice has softened just enough to make you glance back at him, âYou do know he cuts class a lot, right?â
âWhatâs your point?â
âIâm not being a bitch, I swear,â Satoru holds up his palms defensively, âHe shows up for only half the month, you might want to check on your boy.â
You flop onto the chaise lounge, throwing an arm over your face tragically, âThis isnât the inspiring pep talk that I need right now.â
Satoru leans lazily against the gilded frame of your canopy bed, âHey, itâs not my place to tell you what to do. But if you are that into him, then fine! Just ask him to prom and see what happens. And tell you what? If you ask Kamo, Iâll ask Suguru.â
You narrow your eyes, âWow, this must be serious if youâre out here wheeling and dealing like this. Are you feeling okay?â
Satoru presses a dramatic hand to his chest, his grin morphing into something faux-solemn, âCross my heart. Iâm making a binding vow, like, itâs unbreakable. Life or death.â
âDeal,â you quickly say, ignoring the sudden leap of your pulse, because thereâs no way that youâre letting him see how the sudden time-pressure is making your stomach twist into ugly knots. You point towards the door with a flourish, âAnd as much as I love our time together, I need to get ready. SoâŚout! Chop-chop.â
Satoru groans like youâve just asked him to drag a boulder uphill with his teeth, slumping off your bed in exaggerated defeat. He sluggishly reaches for his discarded backpack from the floor, slinging it over his shoulder, âI still donât get why you bother with working. You and I both know that we donât need it,â he mutters, as if the concept of responsibility personally offends him.
âItâs just babysitting,â you gently correct, shrugging on a cashmere cardigan from the back of your chair, âAnd anyway, you know I need a well-rounded list of extracurriculars for Pre-Med.â
âIâd rather eat my sunglasses, one lens at a time,â Satoru shoots back, adjusting said sunglasses squarely over his face, âInstead of being stuck babysitting brats all evening. Weâre not meant to be saints.â
âItâs just one kid tonight. New family, new house,â you reply, grabbing your bag where it rests by the vanity, âAnyway, I expect a full report on your prom date by tomorrow, Satoru. Iâm not forgetting that vow.â
Satoru pauses in the doorway, with the edges of his grin sharpened into something that makes you pity Geto Suguru in advance, âI never disappoint.â
You had finally managed to shove Satoru out of the doorway, his obnoxious laughter echoing faintly down the hall. The quiet that follows is a relief, albeit short-lived. Youâre left standing in the stillness of your room, phone in hand, thumb hovering over the text with the address of tonightâs gig.
Honestly, Satoru might have a point. You, the only child of one of the countryâs most obscenely wealthy families, babysitting? Itâs not like youâre chasing pocket money or trying to build character. But medical school applications donât only care about your bank account, thereâs so many extra boxes to tick. Factors like being selfless or dedicated to the community.
The request had been odd from the start. Some child had called you himself, and normally, itâs the frazzled parents who handle that kind of task. His voice had been small, but determined, saying that his brother was out, and he needed a sitter for the evening. Something about the earnestness of it had softened you, though, now you were starting to regret the whole thing â seeing how far out this house was from your own penthouse.
Showing up in the Bentley with tinted windows and your chauffeur had felt a little off brand for this role. So, in the name of relatability, you had popped a piece of cherry gum and a book, taking on the bus. The sticky seats and questionable patrons had almost been enough to make you reconsider, but the suburb itself offered a strange charm.
It was quiet here, too quiet, the kind of place that might have once been picturesque, but it had gone soft around the edges. The homes were older, cozy but tired, with paint peeling in places and lawns that were overrun with weeds. You wrinkle your nose as you step off the bus, weaving through tufts of stubborn greenery and abandoned toys in the yard.
The house that youâre looking for stands a little crooked, but sturdy. Itâs faded shutters are barely hanging on, and a basketball hoop leans precariously over the driveway. Thereâs a small, red toy car thatâs entirely faded and scratched, sitting forgotten near the porch steps.
Just as your knuckles hover over the worn wood of the front door, it swings open with such force that you nearly stumble backwards. A blur of motion catches you off guard, and youâre suddenly face-to-face with a tiny, pink-haired whirlwind.
The boyâs grinning up at you, wide and gap-toothed, with big golden eyes. His hair is wild, a fluffy crown of rosy strands over a dark undercut, and his scraped knees are haphazardly patched up with dinosaur bandages.
âWait here! Iâm going to get my brother!â He chirps, his voice bright and slightly whistly, thanks to the missing tooth. Before you can get a word in, heâs gone, sprinting back inside with the energy of an overeager puppy, leaving you stranded on the porch.
You shuffle awkwardly, glancing down at the scratched paint on the doorframe. There was something endearing about the child, and youâre starting to feel less apprehensive. That is, until the door opens again, and time slows.
Your heart stutters, skips, and then plummets. As if someoneâs dropped you into an industrial freezer. Standing there, with one hand resting lightly on the kidâs shoulder, and an expression thatâs one part confusion and one part disbelief, is Choso Kamo.
Itâs as if the universe has conspired against you, playing its most cruel and ridiculous joke yet. Tall and broad, with tired eyes that sweep over you in slow recognition. Dark mark twitching across his face, like a deliberate smudge of ink.
Chosoâs blinking, startled to see you here, though his usual stoic expression has yet to crack. Meanwhile, your inner monologue is screaming a symphony of pure panic. You can already heal Satoruâs stupid squeals in your head.
The pink-haired boy tugs on Chosoâs arm, âSee, I got a babysitter! Isnât that cool?â
Choso glances down at the kid, then back at you, his lips parting as if to speak.
âUh, hey,â you manage. The picture of eloquence, the master of the verbose elite.
It strikes you, with almost absurd clarity, that youâve never seen Choso outside the campus bubble. No dim library corners, no lab tables cluttered with textbooks, or heavy beat-up laptops parked in front of him. Gone are the oversized hoodies thrown over his school uniform, or the baggy jeans he dons when he forgoes the dress code entirely. Instead, heâs here, standing in the soft glow of the broken porch light, wearing a loose black tee and dark track pants.
His chestnut hair is free from the two greasy, spiky knots that he favours on his head, falling softer around his face. Your traitorous heart lurches, feeling a sharp pang of betrayal.
âYouâre the babysitter?â Chosoâs voice cuts through your spiral. Raspy as always, roughened like rock salt, but thereâs something else threaded into the question. A flicker of irritation, and confusion. As if heâs struggling to reconcile you, with the person standing on his doorstep.
âYou didnât know when you booked?â You shoot back, aiming for casual indifference, but landing somewhere closer to petulant. Your eyes flick to the box heâs holding, with contents that glint faintly in the light. Suspiciously metallic, as if heâs cradling surgical tools.
Choso follows your curious gaze, exhaling sharply, and shifting the box to a nearby table, just out of your line of sight.
âI didnât book,â he grunts, âTold Yuuji to check the ads, and pick one.â
âAnd I picked the best one!â The delighted chirp comes from behind Choso, as Yuuji reappears, practically bouncing with a sunny grin. His golden eyes are locked on the ribbon-wrapped box in your hands, and his expression is lit up with unabashed glee.
You glance down at the box, containing an array of decadent artisan doughnuts. Saffron glaze, coconut cream, pistachio and chocolate. All from that impossibly chic Swiss patisserie downtown. You ignore the dull ache building between your eyes, smiling as you hand the box over, âThese are for you, little man.â
Yuujiâs already snapping his hands for the box, as though you had just delivered a treasure chest of gold doubloons, âCan I have one? Please? Pretty-please?â
Choso glances down at him with a long-suffering look that somehow manages to carry an undertone of fondness, âJust one,â he warns, his voice dry but warm, âFor now.â
Yuuji doesnât need to be told twice, bolting towards the kitchen and clutching the box to his chest like a sacred relic. The faint sound of icing being smacked off fingers echoes from somewhere around the corner.
Choso watches him go, before turning back to you, his posture easing slightly. âThat was nice of you,â he says, his voice softer now, almost tentative, âBut heâs going to crash hard after that sugar high. Good luck.â
You wave off his scepticism with a breezy smile, âIâm good with kids. Iâll manage.â
For a moment, the boyâs expression shifts. Something fleeting and unreadable flickers across his face, a hint of thoughtfulness or something heavier.
Another thought gnaws at the edges of your mind, a tiny spectre of dread wrapped in Gojo Satoruâs smug grin. Two hours ago, though it feels like a lifetime now, you made a pact.
You ask Kamo, Iâll ask Suguru.
At the time, it had seemed like an impossible bluff. But the thing about Satoru is that heâs infuriatingly reliable when he sets his mind to something. No matter the cost.
Which is why youâre here now, sweating under your cashmere sweater. The fabric is suddenly too soft, too warm, clinging to the nape of your neck. You, with half the school population ready to pen sonnets just for a chance to take you to prom. Jocks, debate captains, the crème de la crème of eligible dates. All overlooked in favour of the quiet boy that no-one seems to notice.
The boy whose locker was assigned right next to yours, empty and cold steel. While yours was glittered with Polaroids, and pastel sticky notes, and the occasional folded love letter. The boy that everyone said had no friends, but he was easily the uncontested valedictorian. The boy that you desperately wanted to ask to prom.
Choso is shuffling papers on the table, avoiding your gaze like itâs a laser beam. His movements are slow, and deliberate, but thereâs an edge of tension in the way his fingers linger on a set of silver keys, before he slips them into his pocket.
âWhat?â His voice breaks the quiet, low and rough like gravel underfoot. It startles you out of your spiralling thoughts.
âNothing,â you blurt out, far too quickly. Youâre grasping at straws to keep the conversation going, âWhere are you headed?â
Choso hesitates, a slight hitch in his movements, picking that cardboard box again. For a moment, you think heâs going to ignore your question, but then he mutters, âWork.â
You tilt your head, your curiosity outweighing your better judgement to never press Choso Kamo for more than two sentences in a conversation.
He shifts uncomfortable, and you catch a glimpse of latex gloves tucked neatly inside before he angles it out of view, âIâŚclean up things,â he says finally, his tone clipped as though every word is a concession, âErrands. Iâm a cleaner.â
The kind of response thatâs designed to kill conversation in its track. Itâs vague, annoyingly so, but you let it slide, âOh.â
Youâre this close to spontaneously combusting. The pact, the reason that your hands shake when you catch yourself staring at Choso Kamo for just a second too long. Itâs either now or never. Rip the band-aid before your central nervous system completely betrays you and implodes.
Objectively speaking, youâre a real catch. Second-best grades in the cohort, from an old business dynasty that rivalled the Youngs from Crazy Rich Asians, two-time prom queen with med-school practically knocking on the door. Yeah, a dream. College applications adored you. Surely, Choso would have had to be running on a cloneâs brain stitched into his head to say no.
Yet, somehow, it doesnât make your heart beat any less erratically. It doesnât erase the hollow pit thatâs clawing at your insides. And now, youâre wishing that you had asked for advice from someone with an ounce of finesse. Like Shoko, or Utahime. Not your best friend who called himself The Honoured One.
You clear your throat, the taste of artificial cherry gum still lingering, âSo, are you going to prom?â
Choso snorts, the sound entirely dismissive. But he seems to realise that youâre not joking, flicking you a glance, like heâs deciding to humour you, âWhatâs it to you? Need me to vote for you to be prom queen?â
You roll your eyes, fighting the flush creeping up your Burberry sweater, âDidnât I already ask you to do that, like, two months ago?â
His lips twitch, barely, like heâs holding a smile back under layers of indifference, âYeah. You pestered me three times. And I actually did it.â
You latch onto the softer tone in his voice, âSo, are you going to go, then?â Youâre watching him, almost desperate for a sign, for anything other than no.
Chosoâs shoulders tense, âCanât.â
âCanât?â The word slips out of your mouth before you can stop it, incredulous, âWhat do you mean canât? Why? You need to study or something?â Youâre trying so hard to sound indifferent, like youâve got a roster of dates lined up. And well, you do. But this is the only one that you want. The panic creeping into your voice betrays you before you even realise it.
âNo,â Choso replies, his tone quieter, âI really just canât go.â
A weight drops in your stomach, heavy and cold. Is this what rejection feels like? The thought hits like a wave, leaving you breathless. Your heartâs flipping in your chest like itâs teetering on the edge of cliff, seconds away from freefalling into nothing.
You inhale sharply, steeling yourself for the words that are about to spill out.
âI want you to be my date for prom.â âI canât go because I dropped out.â
The words slam into each other, and for a moment, everything freezes. Chosoâs mouth has fallen open, the curve of his lips slack with shock. As though as someoneâs hit the pause button on him, mid-thought. You blink at him, your brain becoming a skipping CD. Round and round, never quite catching the beat.
âWhat did you just say?â Your brows knit together in a sharp pinch, like your face canât decide whether to wince or frown. But Choso just grimace, lips curling into a tight line as his shoulders stiffen.
âYou first.â
Your fingers fidget around the cream Van Cleef that rests on your throat, tracing the cool edge of the pendant. Itâs one of your motherâs newer gifts, the kind that comes with all the frills and none of the warmth. Her true transactional brand of maternal affection.
âI wanted to ask if youâd go to prom with me, as my date,â It spills out of you in a jumbling mess, like youâre tripping vowels and consonants over each other. Chosoâs eyes widen, but you barrel on before he can interrupt, âI mean, I get it if you think itâs lame or boring, or you just donât want to go. But I promise my friends are actually really nice, and you can sit with us.â The rest of your monologue trails off, crumbling to dust, âI just really wanted to ask you.â
You wish to sink into the floor, like the soft earth will swallow you whole. You can almost picture Satoruâs ridiculous proposal to Geto Suguru, no doubt involving fireworks or an airplane trailing a banner.
The air is so still, you can hear the faint crackling of Yuujiâs incessant doughnut quest from across the small house, his movements clumsy and unintentionally loud as he rips open cellophane for more than one sweet treat.
Chosoâs shifting slightly, and thereâs a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks. The pink hue is a stark contrast to his usual sickly pallor. Even his ears are a shade darker, and his jaw tightens like heâs chewing on something bitter and struggling to swallow it down. Itâs hard to tell if heâs upset or just lost. Or somewhere in-between.
âYou wanted to go with me?â His voice is low, hoarse, like the idea is too outlandish for him to even process. You donât know whether to laugh or apologise.
âMhm.â Itâs all you can manage, your throat suddenly dry and tight.
âI dropped out of school two days ago,â Choso mutters, as he runs a hand through his dark hair. Heâs glancing at you, with the ghost of an apology flickering across his expression, but the shock that you canât seem to mask makes him wince, âLook, itâs not a big deal. And itâs nice that you asked, butâŚâ
âDropped out? Like, entirely out of school?â Your voice cracks, each word climbing higher like youâre stepping on a broken escalator, âWhy? What happened?â
Never let anyone tell you that teenage love is simple, or wholesome. Full of first crushes, and sweet moments. Because this? It feels like someone ripped the floor out from under you, the air yanked from your lungs, leaving you stranded. And itâs not a pleasant feeling, being denied something that you want, for the first time in your life.
Choso shrugs, like heâs been answering this question a thousand times already. Though, youâre sure that this is the first time heâs said it to out loud to anyone, âFamily stuff. Just had to.â
You try to piece this together, for this house does smell faintly of stale coffee, and the worn leather of the couch has clearly seen better days. You can tell, on some level, that something is off. That thereâs no parental figure in sight for little Yuuji, just the harsh edges of whatever it is that Choso seems to carry on his own.
You can feel the words bubbling up again, stupid and reckless, âBut you know you just canât leave. Youâve got the top marks in the class, Choso. And you know that you were on a scholarship, right? For one of the most elite schools in the country? How are you ever going to get that again?â
The second they leave your mouth; you hear how self-righteous and insensitive you sound. You already regret it, almost reaching up to slap your hands over your face.
Chosoâs expression darkens, his face tightens. Like a storm cloud rolling in, as his lips pull into a tight and angry line, âBack off,â he snaps, voice suddenly sharp enough to cut, âYou donât know a damn thing about my life.â
His sneer twists, not with malice, but something deeper. Harder, like heâs being chewed up by all the things he never got to say before, âDonât worry, though. Iâm sure theyâll make a big, shiny tiara for when they name you valedictorian. Maybe, itâll match your prom dress.â
âHey!â Your eyes well up, stupid heat of tears prickling behind your eyes, and swelling a thick lump in your throat, âThatâs not what I meant.â You cannot believe that youâre tearing up, over this. Over wanting something that you canât have, and someone who seems to have more to lose than you ever thought possible.
Chosoâs lip curls into a half-sneer, but thereâs a flicker of something else there. His posture shifts, as if heâs trying to fold in on himself. He lowers his voice, still low and uncomfortable, but careful. Careful, because his little brother is just down the hall.
âI donât need your pity, okay? Or your help.â His fingers grip the metal of the net door, âI have to go now. Just look after Yuuji.â
The heavy clang of steel on mesh echoes in your ears, sharp and final. The sound lingers like a ringing in your skull as you stand there, utterly paralysed as your mind scrambles to catch up with the wreckage of what just happened. Your five-year crush crashing down in five minutes.
Your feet move, and you find yourself in the bare dining room. Yuujiâs perched at the table, with a doughnut half-eaten in his hand, a mess of pistachio cream smeared across his chin like a brave trooper. Thereâs an iPad, an old, scratched model, with a silicone tiger case, propped up in front of him. The screen is flashing with something, like blueberries. Bouncing in time with some peppy tune.
âDid Choso leave for work?â Yuuji asks, utterly oblivious to the emotional landmine that his brother left in your hands. His eyes are wide, curious, the innocence of a kid who still thinks the world works in neat, little boxes.
âYeah,â you say, forcing a smile, âHe works a lot, huh?â
âOh, yeah,â Yuuji mumbles through a mouthful of pastry, sugar clinging to his lips, âHe always gets upset when Uncle Kunaâ calls him in. Even after school.â
Choso has never mentioned an uncle. Or a brother, for that matter. But then again, why would he? You had never even asked for his number, never bothered to learn anything beyond what was right in front of you. You realise, with a strange pang of guilt, that youâve built your entire image of infatuation with Choso, from incomplete sketches. Filling in the blanks with whatever fits into the tiny box youâve kept him in.
âHey, do you have Netflix?â Yuujiâs voice cuts through your thoughts, bright and eager. âI want to watch How to Train Your Dragon. Itâs Fushiguro and Kugisakiâs favourite movie!â
The names are unfamiliar, but Yuujiâs excitement is infectious. You cannot help but smile at the boy, his messy hair and too-big shirt. Itâs hard not to be fond of such a kid. You take the iPad from his sticky hands, logging into the app. All the while, chasing yourself around mentally with a baseball bat for the biggest fumble of the century.
If last night felt like a disaster, this morning was just the encore performance. And you were the unwilling star. Just the effort of peeling yourself out of bed felt like an Olympic event. And facing your reflection of swollen eyes and blotchy skin felt like punishment for sins that were way out of your paygrade.
Reluctantly, youâre tugging on your blazer, and clipping a barrette into your hair. Thereâs a sparkling, diamond tennis bracelet fastened around your wrist. All little things that you need to don like armour, to face your senior year, the student population and the empty locker that would remain untouched next to yours.
Satoru and Shoko are the first faces that you spot in the crowd, and Satoruâs practically bouncing down the hall, âOh, yeah, I got it locked in,â he announces, cheeks flushed with an absurdly boyish grin, âI got it in the bag.â
Heâs sliding his sunglasses down just enough to peer at you, wordlessly handing you his coffee cup, as is your morning ritual. The overly sweet, creamy warmth does nothing to ease the ache in your chest, and your lip-gloss stains the edge of the paper.
âWhat about you, eh?â Satoru chirps, but you must look blatantly devasted. Because your best friendâs grin falters, the corners of his mouth pulling down.
âWait, youâre joking right?â His voice is marred with disbelief, and his eyes scan the hall like heâs trying to spot someoneâs dark head of hair, âWhere is he? Jughead Jones lookinâ ass? Shoko, do you know where Choso Kamo sits? Because Iâm going to give him a real piece of my mind and ââ
You cut him off, abruptly shoving the coffee back into his warm hands, âItâs fine. He dropped out school, anyway.â
Shoko hums beside you, her fingers absentmindedly twirling a strand of cinnamon-brown hair. The chipped polish on her nails catches the fluorescent light, âProm queen and valedictorian in one year? Not a bad run for you.â
You glare at her, and Shokoâs doe-eyed expression softens. The breeze from the open window catches her sleek hair, making it sway gently, and she shifts. Voice dropping to something quieter, more thoughtful, âThat really does suck, though. Sorry.â She sounds like she means it now, her usual flippancy up in smoke, âI didnât even know you liked him like that. Not until Gojo told me, like, two hours ago.â
Your eyes snap to Satoru who, for once, has the good sense to shut his mouth.
Shokoâs voice is subdued, âI wonder if it had anything to do with him being called into admin.â
âWait, when?â Satoru interrupts. Heâs taking another long slurp of his sweet mocha, the froth giving him whiskers.
âThree days ago,â Shoko shrugs, âSome big guy rolled up to the office. Demanded to see the principal. No idea who he was, but he was important. And rich. Like you need to be super wealthy to call the shots in a school for the children of the top one percent.â
You must look tragic, because even Shoko pauses mid-chew. Her lollipop moving from one side of her mouth to the other. She looks at you, really looks at you. You can see the careful shift in her demeanour, as though sheâs considering the most diplomatic answer that she can offer you to avoid making things worse.
âWell, you donât have to go to prom with anyone, right?â Satoru says, the words hanging awkwardly in the air like a balloon thatâs just lost its helium. His consolation is well-meaning, but a bit clueless. But now, his sunglasses are perched atop his head now, leaving his eyes exposed. Icy blue, framed by lashes so long that they practically flirt with his eyebrows. For once, thereâs a flicker of real concern in them, clouds passing over clear skies.
âI know,â you gripe, your voice flat as you find yourself glaring at a group of juniors who are skipping by, with their phones out in unison, clicking away like itâs a competition. Fantastic. You can already see the gossip Instagram stories by lunch, wondering what happened to you. Rumours milling about the reason for your glum expression.
Shoko shifts her heavy bag onto her shoulder, patting your arm. âIâll see you at lunch. My treat,â she says, turning her heel for the Chemistry building. Leaving you alone with Satoru, as Shoko quickly picks her pace up to catch her Honours class.
âSo,â you start, keeping your eyes on him out of the corner of your vision, watching how his fingers twitch around the coffee cup, âHow did it go with Geto Suguru?â
Satoruâs shifting, as though heâs trying not gloat, but clearly bursting to tell you, âIt was nice,â which is an unusually subdued, sensitive explanation from Satoru. The one who can take five hours to tell a story that you could wrap up in ten minutes. âHe was really friendly. More than I thought he would be.â
âThat is nice.â Youâre forcing some perk back into your voice, but it comes out rather weak, âLike, genuinely.â
Satoru crumples the empty cup in his hand, tossing it into a nearby trashcan. Then, he shoots you a sharper look, âDid you actually talk to Choso, like, in-person? How did that go?â
You exhale, âTurns out I was babysitting his little brother,â and Satoruâs eyes widen slightly, âHe was fine. And then he wasnât. I asked him to be my date, and told me he dropped out. I said somethingâŚstupid. And now heâs going to hate me forever.â
Satoru stares at you, his gaze sharp, as though heâs dissecting you. And you swear that he can see right through your skin, right into your bones. Itâs moments like this that make you feel like maybe your best friend has a sixth sense, some secret radar for picking up on these things.
âWow,â he murmurs, a touch of something in his voice, âIt really got you bad, huh?â
You bristle, a mix of annoyance and embarrassment flooding your chest. Youâre straightening your shoulders, but itâs all too obvious and so fucking frustrating, âYeah, well, I donât even know why it matters so much.â The bite in your voice is more directed at yourself, than him.
Satoru doesnât flinch, just tilts his head, and heâs quiet. Itâs a weird look on him, soft concern, âYou genuinely really liked him that much?â
The truth sticks to your throat as your chest tightens, and your eyes blur. It would be nice to tell Satoru that you didnât really care that much. That it was never fully that serious, but the lie wonât leave your lips. The lump in your throat is palpable, and all you can do is sniffle, âYeah. I did.â
âDo you want to cry?â Satoruâs voice is gentle enough to catch you off guard.
You open your mouth to retort, something sharp and defensive. But before you know it, tears spill as your chest constricts. Itâs sudden, like a storm that breaks on the horizon.
And just like that, your best friend pulls you into him. For once, the wild energy that crackles off him is gone, replaced by something quieter and more unwavering. You can feel his shoulder under your cheek, soft and warm, salt staining the expensive fabric. And if anyone does see you sob into Gojo Satoruâs arms, while the white-haired boy pats your back, no one says a word.
But to borrow a line from Bangtan Sonyeondan, life goes on. The next few months slip by like the kind of indie film that youâd see at film festival. Itâs bittersweet, and thereâs a melancholy that everyone can taste in the air, especially as you all realise that this last blue spring of youth is slipping through fingers like sand.
In this haze of time, you discover a few things that you didnât expect. For instance, Geto Suguru is, in fact, far more than the tall and brooding figure that you once shrugged off. Heâs the stillness to Satoruâs sharper teeth, the quiet that counters the blue eye of the storm. Heâs soft-spoken, with an easy patience that tempers Satoruâs edges. Heâs become a bit of a constant presence, as they always bicker and makeup in a sort of perpetual cycle.
Spring arrives like a first kiss. Itâs hesitant, not rushing in. Just tiptoes around you, tentative enough as it coaxes you out of winterâs gloom. Before the flurry of sparkly gowns and speeches, thereâs Utahimeâs birthday to celebrate. Itâs supposed to be a relaxed affair, she insists that she has no desire for fuss. But you all show up anyway, surprising her with a giant, pastel cake that takes up nearly half the table.
Her laugh is loud, and carefree, mixing with the salt of the ocean breeze on this beach trip. Her black hair whips around her face, even as she blushes at the attention. Sheâs protesting, but itâs swallowed by laugher, by the sound of waves breaking against the shores.
The awards and titles are all well and good, prom queen and valedictorian. A shiny, little stamp on your high school resume, a golden ticket to the next chapter of your life. But when anyone brings it up, or someone presses too hard on the subject, you shift uncomfortably, your fingers toying with the edge of your pre-med acceptance letter like it just might tear under the pressure of your grip. No-one talks about how youâve been visiting your locker less and less.
Satoru, of course, loudly denies crying at graduation, even as salty, shiny tears tack to his cheeks. Theyâre practically immortalised in every digital snapshot that you take. But for now, heâs too busy wrapping everyone in a bear hug, clutching the group that itâs the last time heâll ever see them. Nanamiâs already peeling him off, shaking his head with a worn sigh.
It's late in the morning after the graduation ceremony, as you all pile into cars, driving to a riverside cafĂŠ. Itâs one of those places where people with money go to prove that they have money, to prove that even their breakfasts are above the meals of the common folk. But you all sit there, with the graduation ribbons still pinned to your lapels. Thereâs the debate over who cried the most during the ceremony (Gojo, easily, though Haibara is a close second) and whoâs the one who peaked in high school. Everyone unanimously votes for Geto, who sulks as he tosses his hair out of his face, ever the drama queen.
âBullshit,â heâs grumbling, âJust you wait. Youâll see what I accomplish in ten years.â
Satoru grins, all teeth and lazy confidence, âYeah, what? Youâre going to start running a pyramid scheme cult?â
Utahimeâs voice cuts through the chatter, her white ribbon flouncing as she leans towards you, blinking at the empty space in front of you, âWhereâs your food?â
You wave her off with a smile, âItâs fine. You guys can go ahead and start, Iâll just go and check.â
You hear Satoru choke around a mouthful of food, already bulldozing half his way through his plate like a bottomless pit.
Thereâs a pretty glass display at the front, filled with delicate chiffon cakes that glisten in the soft light. You wonder if you should have just ordered one, perhaps to share with Nanami. You know he likes desserts like this.
âCan I help you?â
Your pulse stutters as you bite your tongue, heart crashing against the rocks. You soothe your tongue over the tang of iron that blooms in your mouth from the stupidly familiar voice.
Choso Kamo.
Youâd like to say that he looks good, but the truth is, he doesnât. The hollows beneath his eyes are far more accentuated than you remember, and his hair is pulled back into a messy knot at the back of his head. Even his pale skin has taken on a sicklier pallor than usual.
âHello?â His voice cuts through the silence, sharper this time, carrying an edge that takes you by surprise.
âOh, uh, hey. Choso. Just wanted to check on my order,â you say, like itâs a poor prelude to small talk. It sounds far too chipper, almost artificial.
Chosoâs expression tightens immediately, in an ill-omen. Itâs as if heâs irritated that you even have the nerve to recognise him, to stand there in his space. He doesnât meet your gaze, his attention flicking back to the screen in front of him with a quickness that almost feels deliberate.
âHello.â Heâs muttering back, more out of obligation than any real interest. Like itâs a formality.
The sharp, hollow feeling in your chest expands, deeper than youâre willing to admit. The last time you saw him, you had been standing at his door, and he had slammed it in your face.
âWhat are you doing here?â Your question is clumsy, hanging in the air, and far too intrusive for a stranger.
âWhat?â Choso doesnât even look up. But then he does, just briefly, his gaze flicking to yours with the same disinterest. He shrugs, as though the query is too trivial for any answer.
âItâs justâŚitâs been a while, yeah?â Youâre not quite sure how to word and I want to know how youâve been.
âIâm fine,â Choso replies quickly, dismissing your question with a wave of his pale hand, âJust working around here and there.â
Itâs offbeat, landing wrong. You donât think itâs unfair to think that everyone expected more of him. One of the smartest, most brilliant minds in your cohort, who had been a shoo-in for medicine, alongside you.
The bustle of patrons behind you intensifies, but you stubbornly dig your heels into the polished tile, âHowâs Yuuji?â
The mention of his younger brother softens him, just a little. A small, bashful smile tugs at the corner of Chosoâs pink lips, hesitant, like he doesnât quite know how to let it show, âHeâs good. Says you were the âbestestâ babysitter that he ever had. Even asks about you sometimes.â
You fight the urge to smile too openly, not wanting to seem too affected by the gentleness that suddenly lingers in the space between you two, âIâm glad. AndâŚare you still working for your uncle?â
Itâs as if youâve thrown a switch, causing all the warmth to evaporate from his features. His jaw tightens, as his brow furrows. Settling a coldness over his expression, âWho the fuck told you that?â
You blink, surprised at the sudden harshness of his words. âYuuji mentioned it,â you murmur, quieter now, careful. The hesitation in your voice isnât feigned, and you realise youâve broken the golden rule of ânever push Choso Kamo about his personal life.â
Choso doesnât seem keen on letting you explain, as his glare cuts through you, âIf you wanted to snoop into my life, just ask me your stupid questions, okay? Donât drag my little brother into it.â
The accusation lands like a slap, stinging you more than you expected, âWhat? I wasnât snooping,â you insist, defences flaring open, âHe told me that himself. I didnât even ask him anything, and I didnât ask anything else!â
He just stares at you, eyes burnished and unreadable, but he seems mollified by your answer. Like he knows that your explanation is sincere, but the chasm is nigh impossible to bridge, âSure. Okay.â
You donât know how to respond, opening your mouth to ask what on earth has made him so unreasonable. To dig the tips of your almond nails into his long sleeves, and demand that he treats you as adoringly as everyone else in your life does. But he interrupts you first, âYour orderâs coming.â
Chosoâs tone is clipped, colder. As though heâs already moved on, âAnd Iâve got a lot of other customers to serve. Nice seeing you again, or whatever.â
A dismissal, if there ever was one. The embarrassment rushes up your neck, hot and insistent, but you bite your tongue. You let your heels clack a little more loud than necessary, as you stomp away. Youâre swivelling your head to deliver a final, withering stare but his gaze is no longer on you.
Chosoâs looking at the table where everyone is sitting. Where your friends are laughing, leaning into one another as they snap their final graduation photos. Where Geto has his lips pressed to Satoruâs cheek in a rare display of affection, arms linked with Shoko and Utahime. Where even Nanamiâs smiling, the sunlight leafing through his golden waves of thick hair.
Thereâs no anger in Chosoâs eyes, or even that solitary, brooding stare. He looks almostâŚsad. Profoundly sorrowful, in a deep and aching way that makes your anger dissipate.
Heâs looking at your friends, at their graduation certificates stacked in sleeves on the table, as though heâs lost something that he never had. It aches your chest tightly, a knot pulling at your heart.
Once, he was Choso Kamo â the quiet boy you liked in school. Then, he became Choso from the cafĂŠ. Soon, he'll be someone whose name you won't even remember in a few years, someone who's path you'll probably never cross again.
You find yourself blinking furiously, feeling as though you've just lost something yourself, but you fight back the salt that threatens to blur your vision before your friends see.
THREE YEARS LATER.
Your day had started off deceptively well, like a glass of water poured perfectly. Clear, refreshing, with no chance of spilling. The sun was shining, your skin looked like it was having its best day, and there wasnât a cloud in sight. But of course, it didnât take long for things to spiral, as they tend to do.
It was like playing a real-life Sisyphus game, except instead of a boulder, it was a series of small, dumb annoyances that you couldnât dodge fast enough.
First, Satoru had texted to cancel lunch. And to be fair, you werenât that bothered. He had been talking all week about a world-renowned professor dropping in on his fourth-years Honours class, something about nuclear engineering. And you knew that Satoru lived for anything involving theoretical mass and explosions.
Then, your favourite tote bag had decided it was done with you. The strap had snapped off with a surprising, sudden violence. Your beautiful new water bottle had hit the floor with a sickening, metallic thud. Pens rolled across the tiles like little soldiers. You had been kneeling, already late for class, muttering curses under your breath when your phone had rung.
Your mother.
And you already knew that tone well enough, that voice that could cut through steel.
âYou missed the charity dinner? You know how embarrassing it is for your father and I to come up with excuses, just to explain your absence ââ
Yeah, like you had personally insulted her by choosing to study for your exams, instead of milling around an event hall. You tried to explain, but it was like trying to explain Satoruâs quantum physics to the wall. Totally pointless, and not worth your time and energy. And naturally, her tone escalated, because thatâs what she just tended to do. Nevermind that she was calling from some ritzy hotel in Europe, crackling over the phone.
And then, just when you thought it couldnât get any worse, the course coordinator paged you in for a meeting. You were still in your first few weeks of medicine, so you had been scratching your brain for what he could have possibly wanted, snapping gum as you rushed and clacked up stone steps, breezing through campus.
Now, here you were. Standing in front of his desk with your arms crossed, almost petulantly. The room smelled like old coffee, and expired textbooks as the man coughed, leaning back against his desk, littered with academic transcripts and stacked envelopes.
âLook, thereâs no denying that youâre one of our most brilliant students. All the tutors and lecturers admire your work ethic,â and the professor stopped, and you grimaced. Ah, here it comes.
âBut, youâve chosen Ieiri Shoko as your partner for the past three years, am I correct in saying this?â His dark eyes are narrowed behind wiry glasses, as you frowned.
âYes.â
Shoko had practically excelled in Pre-Med alongside you, surviving late night study rants, extreme caffeine dependency, and textbook-induced breakdowns.
âYou work together well,â the coordinator adds, looking like he was trying to make this sound like a compliment, âBut you need to branch out. Develop your versatility. In a noble field, such as medicine, itâs important to be able to work with others. Not rule and conquer.â
You blink at him, âBranch out? I donât know how else to say this, but I donât like anyone else in my class. And Shoko and I are easily the best.â
He ignores your comments, âSo, Iâve thought it better to move you to a new stream. Instead of Tuesdayâs clinical practice, Iâll have you attend the Thursday session, starting today. Thereâs a new partner for you, and I assure you, he is just as competent as Ieiri Shoko,â
You doubt it. No-one can handle the sight of infected perineum stitches like Shoko can.
It seems thereâs only one card left for you to pull, âMy grandfather paid for this entire wing of the building. His name is on the plaque outside.â
The coordinator doesnât even budge, âThat may be true. But you still need to grow. You will never learn if you just continue to stick with what is familiar.â
You leave the office with a sour taste in your mouth, clutching the crisp sheet of paper thatâs already being emailed to your student account, no doubt.
âCollaboration,â youâre muttering under your breath, âBuilding character, my ass.â Youâre squinting at the page, trying to decipher the name of your new stream partner, but itâs obscured by a hastily scribbled note with your classroom change.
The faint ache in your neck refuses to budge, and you roll your shoulders with a sigh. Pushing through the double doors to the anatomy facility. Immediately, the frigid air bites at your cheeks, sharp and unwelcome. These buildings always feel like high-tech mausoleums, with tables lined up like gleaming altars. Surfaces cold enough to numb your fingertips if youâre careless.
The faint, cloying scent of formaldehyde hangs in the air, sharp and chemical. Itâs supposed to preserve the cadavers, but it has the unfortunate side effect of making your stomach growl at the worst times. Hunger, and embalming fluid. A combination so disgusting that you try not to dwell on it for too long.
Your lab coat is rubbing uncomfortably against your arms, and your Loewe sweater is bunched awkwardly around your elbows. Itâs a long-suffering sigh that echoes the hall as you shove the heavy barred doors to the classroom.
The tutor is a stalk-like man, with perpetually knitted brows, glancing up at you as you enter, âAh, yes. The transfer,â heâs brisk with it, âGot the note about you moving to my Thursday stream. Just sit over there, for now. Yeah, there. Your partner should be along soon. If heâs a no-show, Iâll reassign you to a different table.â
You nod wordlessly, scanning the room as you head to your non-descript, assigned corner. The faces at the other tables blur together, some curious and others indifferent. Most focused on pushing worksheets under steel clipboards.
Great. A room full of strangers with all the warmth of wet cardboard.
Sliding into your plastic seat, you pull your notebook out and flip it open, the pages crinkling and echoing in the too-quiet room. Itâs a minute, maybe two of shifting uncomfortably in your chair, feeling the awkward hollowness of sitting alone at a two-person station. But the door swings open with a groaning creak.
âPerfect! Full class today, thatâs what I like to see. Just head to your usual spot, and Iâll start passing the models around.â
You glance up, squinting at the figure whoâs broad enough to cause a solar eclipse of the fluorescent light.
âGet out,â you blurt.
âThis is my class,â Choso Kamo stares at you, equally bewildered. His bronze eyes widen briefly, flickering from your face to the lab tables, to the unaware tutor.
âDonât care. Get out,â you scowl, speechless for a moment, âNo. Donât sit. This is my assigned stream. Donât tell me that youâre my ââ
âPartner?â Choso finishes for you, deadpan.
âOf all the people in this entire school ââ
âIâm starting to feel offended,â Choso cuts in, already pulling out the chair beside you, and slinging his bag down with an air of resignation.
âWhat are you doing here?â
Chosoâs lips twitch, but he doesnât quite smile, âIâm getting an education. Obviously.â
Your gaze flickers away from his unfairly handsome face, following the motion of his hand as he shifts. Thereâs a single black hair tie, looped around his wrist.
But something just does not add up for you. This isnât just any medical program. Itâs the kind of rigorous, cutthroat, soul-consuming degree that requires three years of a top GPA from Pre-Med. Itâs designed to weed out the faint hearted before the first semester is even over. Graduates here donât just get jobs. They get titles, and invitations to Westminster where the British monarch probably bestows them with Dame, or Sir, or some other archaic title.
And Choso Kamo is a high school dropout, with nary a certificate to his name.
âYou got into medicine?â Itâs as blunt as you can get.
âWhat? Like itâs hard?â
âDonât quote Legally Blonde at me,â You snarl, wordlessly taking the tray of silicone gashes from the tutor.
Choso blinks, as though heâs truly stumped by your hostile reaction, âThen donât ask stupid questions.â He seemsâŚdifferent now. Sharper, and less apologetic. Thereâs a streak of confidence thatâs as unnerving as it is infuriating. Is he taller? He seems taller.
You exhale sharply, a sound between frustration and resignation. Itâs not like you can go up to the course coordinator now and say, âOh, sorry! I canât be in this stream because my new partner is the boy who broke my heart in high school. I cried and threw up on my best friendâs blazer for three days.â
But youâve definitely given the group chat enough material to fuel their devious amusement for days, even weeks. Youâre practically writing the jokes for them.
With a defiant swing of your arm, you hoist your bag onto the desk. The soft leather tanking against the sterile surface, like a gauntlet being thrown. You slide it firmly into position, the strap dangling just enough to make a point. That this is your line in the sand.
âDonât move one centimetre over your side of the desk.â
Choso just rolls his eyes.
âTheyâŚmodify bacterial ribosomes.â
âWrong.â
You sigh and tap the edge of your notebook with the tip of your mechanical pencil. The rhythm is irregular, your thoughts too scrambled to produce anything like a steady beat.
âThey inactive carbapenems,â you try again, your tone pitched with the kind of hope that knows itâs already on life support.
âNope.â
Chosoâs shaking his head, the movement loose and lazy, and it sends strands of his chestnut hair tumbling into his face. The harsh fluorescent lights above make his hair shine with an almost metallic lustre, and as he tugs a thick sweater over his broad frame, your gaze drifts.
The fabric of his white top is riding up, revealing a pale stretch of skin. Thereâs the faintest dusting of dark hair trailing downwards, and your eyes snap back to the textbook. Your cheeks flushed, for the briefest second as your resolve breaks.
âJust tell me the answer.â
Choso exhales, in a soft and patient sound, sliding the textbook your way. Heâs tapping the page with his finger, his blunt nail landing on the highlighted sentence.
âExtended-Spectrum Beta-Lactamases hydrolyse a wide range of beta-lactam antibiotics, including third-generation cephalosporins. This contributes to antibiotic resistance.â His voice is smooth, but it carries that faint rasp that always makes it sound like heâs just woken up.
âI was close.â
âClose doesnât get you any marks,â Choso replies, deadpan.
Your retort dies on your glossy lips, when a sharp shhh cuts through the air. You glance up, spotting a student two tables away, glaring at you over the rim of her stylish tortoiseshell glasses.
Your next sip of coffee is deliberate, making an obnoxious gurgle as you drain the bottom of your cup. Chosoâs eyes flick to the order scribbled on the side, Caramel Crunch Latte, Extra Whip. His lips twitch, but what can you say? Satoruâs dropped a habit or two on you over the years.
This has become the routine over the past few weeks. The outright disdain you had initially felt had eroded, once you had realised that you were truly stuck with the man. It had become something closer to a begrudging truce, but âtruceâ may be too generous a word.
The two of you found yourselves studying together. Regularly. Choso needed to interact more with people, and less with his old, dusty laptop. And you needed a study partner that could match your wits. Unfortunately, Choso seemed entirely oblivious to the reason you nursed an ancient grudge against him, choosing to accept your bad attitude in stride.
It doesnât help that Choso is, well, hot now.
In high school, he had always been cute in that underdog way. Endearing, if not exactly the type to inspire confidence. He had been the subject of your sweet trope-like fantasy that you would nurture during long, dull classes.
You, the radiant prom queen, standing under a canopy of glittering lights, extending a perfectly manicured hand to him. The shy, awkward loser whoâd clearly underestimated how gorgeous his messy hair and tendency to trip over his own words were. Ugh, now youâre not sure who had been the bigger loser.
But three years had passed, and the Choso that sat across from you now bore only a passing resemblance to that daydream. Time, it seemed had been suspiciously kind to him. Unfairly, even. His frame was lean but undeniably defined. His shyness remained, because you knew that he refused to correct the woman at the food trucks whenever she got his name wrong, but it had softened into something less clumsy, and more self-contained. Far less teenage angst.
The dark violet smudges beneath his eyes were still there, giving him that haunted and sleepâdeprived look. And his hair was still the same stringy, chestnut mop that you remembered. But it was more of a deliberate statement now, instead of an oversight. It hung just over his shoulders, and you had heard many a passerby giggle and whisper about hot emos on campus. Like, get in line.
âWhat are you doing next weekend?â
The question comes so abruptly that your head snaps up like a spring-loaded trap.
âHuh?â You blink, the tip of your pencil teetering dangerously close to snapping against the page.
Choso stares back at you, his expression maddeningly neutral, âLike, are you busy?â
âItâs my friendâs birthday on Saturday, weâre going out at night,â youâre narrowing your eyes at him, already feeling your composure fray.
Itâs Suguruâs birthday, and Gojoâs gone full-out with a surprise planned at some five-star restaurant. You managed to get your hands on a vintage vinyl turntable for him, courtesy of a Sothebyâs auction.
Choso nods, like heâs filing that away somewhere, âWhat about Sunday?â
âSunday?â You repeat, dragging it out, âIâm free, I guess.â Against all reason, you find yourself answering honestly, even as some internal voice is screaming at you to lie and make up an excuse.
âDo you want to study at my place?â
Thereâs a pause, long enough for the air to grow heavy between you two. You wonder if he remembers the last time that you asked him to go out with you. Your eyebrows shoot up, and your mouth must be twitching in something close to incredulity.
Choso notices, for his ears go pink first. Then his cheeks, like someoneâs spattered him with a splotchy watercolour paint. The flush sits pretty, just under the dark mark that crosses the bridge of his nose, âNo, I mean, like really study. Just studying. Itâs easier than being hereâŚâ He twitches, looking anywhere but you, âYuuji would be happy to see you again, and stuff.â
And stuff. How ridiculous that two words make your heart trip over itself. Your three-year resolve to keep him firmly in the do not touch zone has basically cracked wide open. Thereâs a traitorous smile tugging at the corner of your lips, but you manage to suppress it. Barely. Playing it off with a nonchalant hum.
âHmm. Sure, Iâll think about it.â
Choso lives in an apartment now. Not a polished high-rise with sleek fixtures and panoramic views, but a tired and unremarkable building with flickering yellow lights that cast long and ominous shadows along the stairwell. You clutch the slip of paper that he scribbled his address on, squinting at the nearly illegible scrawl. Itâs barely decipherable, a penmanship perfect for prescriptions and indecipherable notes.
In your other hand, you balance a box of cream rolls from the bakery that Nanami swears by, their golden horns stuffed with airy dairy and dusted with cinnamon sugar. The smell is warm and sweet, a sharp contrast to the questionable stairwell.
The ascent feels longer than it should, each step accompanied by the faint swing of those tired lights overhead. But you bite back any judgement, youâve made that mistake before.
Someone else is already there, a tall figure that knocks on Chosoâs door with wide, lazy knuckles. Once. Twice. The man huffs, pocketing his phone and pulling out a key. Thereâs a practiced ease to the way he clicks the lock open, and for a moment, you hesitate, wondering if youâre witnessing a breaking-and-entering type of situation.
But thereâs something familiar about the muted shock of rosy, pink hair that spikes over his head.
âWhat are you doing?â His voice is rough, deep, with an edge of irritation that makes you stand a little straighter. He looks over you once, and his eyes fall on the box of pastries in your hands. Disinterest giving way to a little bit of curiosity. It reminds you of Itadori Yuuji.
âUh,â you clear your throat, âChoso invited me.â
The manâs eyebrows lift in surprise, and youâre fascinated by the tattoos that curl around his face. Even running along his jawline, and down his neck. There are silver studs littering his ear, and if you didnât know better, you would say that there are real precious stones scattered among them.
âDidnât know he had a date.â The man seems gruffly amused, and you stomp your heels, the sound snapping off worn walls.
âItâs not a date. Weâre studying.â
âDonât care. Didnât really ask.â
With that, he swings the door open, stepping inside before you can. You linger in the doorway, before hesitantly following him, watching as he kicks the door shut with his heel. He seems to be making himself at home like he owns the place, peering through an empty fridge and rifling through cabinets. All before collapsing on the sagging couch like itâs his throne, sprawled out as he starts scrolling through his phone again.
You just perch awkwardly on the edge of a cold chair, as the space suddenly feels oddly claustrophobic. Your fingers toy with the edge of your notebook, as you wonder whether you need to call Choso, to see if this was all a mistake. Instead, your gaze flickers over to the man sitting opposite you.
Youâre sure that he comes from money. Youâve spent enough summer holidays backstage at Milan and Paris shows to recognise the seasonâs latest pieces. And the crimson racing jacket on his shoulders is definitely a Dior piece that costs more than what you assume is the rent of this entire apartment complex. Plus, you had spent enough time flicking through Van Cleefâs catalogue to recognise the whirring, high-jewellery piece that sat on his wrist. A watch with an eye-like mechanism, studded with Burmese rubies. Easily the price of your penthouse.
âSo, you friends with Choso?â He asks suddenly, lowering his phone. His eyes are sharp russet, locking with yours.
âWe know each other from high school,â you say, trying to keep your tone neutral. Itâs best to leave it at that, itâs safer that way. Youâre playing Chosoâs game, the one where you donât share a thing about your personal life.
âHmph,â The sound is more of a grunt than a response, and it makes you bristle. Why bother asking a question if youâre not interested in the answer?
âDid I leave the door unlocked?â
You hear Chosoâs faintly bewildered murmur, almost to himself, before he catches sight of you. Itâs cute, how a bashful smile creeps over his face again, almost embarrassed at the sight of you. But it darkens instantly, sharply. His bronze eyes are fixed on the man that loiters on his couch.
âGet out.â
The man is unfazed, âWhy? Am I interrupting your date?â
âItâs not a date. Weâre studying.â Chosoâs mirroring your exact, previous words. His tone is stiff, like youâve never heard it before. A snarl, with irritation bubbling underneath the surface.
âI donât know how else I can stress this enough, brat. But I really do not care what you do to get off.â The man drawls, pushing himself off the couch. Heâs absurdly tall, easily the height of the ceiling. You catch a glimpse of the tattoos trailing up his forearm, dark ink that winds around his wrist. A startling splash of red staining the sleeve of the pristine jacket. Itâs dried up now, crusting the edges of the fabric. Sort of likeâŚ
Weird. And impossible.
Choso grunts, âFine. Get up. Go,â and heâs gesturing towards a door leading into another room, his jaw clenched tight. The muscles in his neck are taut, the apology in his expression at you somehow mixed with a faint flicker of regret, like he wishes you werenât here to see this.
What happens next is an absolute masterclass on being nosy. Youâve edged closer to the door, shifting on the couch so youâre practically perched on the armrest. You can hear the muffled thrum of Choso and the strangerâs voice through the door, but itâs not enough. Curiosity is clawing her sharp nails at you, and you wonder if you should text Satoru. Or maybe drop a quick message in the group chat.
You end up leaning in closer, ignoring the way that youâre teetering on the very edge.
The conversation is low, like the rumble of thunder in the distance, but the voices are gradually building until â
âWhat? You did not just fuckinâ throw something at me!â The manâs voice booms so loud that you almost jump out of your skin, âWhat is wrong with you? Canât even have an honest conversation these days?â
Chosoâs response is tight, simmering with frustration that you donât understand, âNothing you do is honest. And donât break into my place then!â
âYour place?â The manâs scoff is almost a sneer, like heâs amused at the mere thought, âBrat, letâs not forget all the favours Iâve done you.â Thereâs a crash, something hitting the floor with a thud, and the manâs voice bellows again, âOi! Put that down right now. Donât you dare throw something else at me. Fuck, youâve got good aim, Iâll give yaâ that.â
You can hear Choso shuffle, spit something sharp in response.
âYouâve done all these things for me before, eh? Why the hesitation now? Got tired of cleaning it all up?â
Chosoâs response is firm through the thin walls, âIâm done with doing your dirty work all the time.â
The silence that follows is thick, suffocating, punctuated with a low and disbelieving laugh.
âYou said that last time. But you came crawling back when you couldnât handle looking after the kid all on your lonesome.â
âLeave Yuuji out of this!â
Thereâs another muffled scuffle, a loud thud that makes your heart race as the stranger growls, âCanât believe you bit me.â
The door swings open with a suddenness that almost knocks you off your seat. Chosoâs practically putting his entire back into shoving the man out with a sharp grunt, like heâs had enough.
The stranger turns, giving you a lazy, bored wave. Like he knows that it will simply irk Choso off even more. And heâs right. Choso, not having it for a second, snaps at him, âGet out. And donât come back.â
The man rolls his eyes, but not before pulling out a pricey Italian wallet, slapping a wad of thick bills down on the kitchen counter, âThatâs for this month. Iâll send a cheque next month for the little bratâs birthday.â
Then heâs gone, muttering something about bitchy, little bastard children, born on the wrong side of the sheets, with sharp teeth.
Chosoâs whirling around to you, his expression unreadable and blank. Like the surface of still water that refuses to betray even a ripple of emotion. You school your features, meeting his gaze with a look of equal, quiet disinterest.
âFriend of yours?â You ask, your voice cool. But thereâs questions dancing on the tip of your tongue, and you can taste them in the air.
He doesnât answer right away. Heâs flicking through the thick stack of bills that the stranger left on the counter. The sound of cash shifting in his hands is oddly loud, and you whistle low, almost involuntarily. It makes Choso look up, catching your appreciative gaze. His fingers tighten around the stack, his jaw clenching, as if to keep in whatever thoughts or words are threatening to spill out.
âDonât say anything.â His voice is a low mutter, hard.
âI didnât.â
Choso looks at you again, his hazel eyes softening just enough that you catch the flicker of something unsure. He lets out a low sigh, âBut you want to ask.â
âWill you let me ask?â Youâre pushing, your voice a little softer and coaxing than you intended. You can already see the signs, the slight stiffening of his shoulders, the way his gaze flickers to the door as if heâs considering an exit. Chosoâs like a clam, snapping shut, as if there is a pearl that heâs not ready to share.
âWhat do you want to know?â Heâs saying this like itâs a chore, as if it is the last thing he wants to do.
You make your way to the kitchen counter, âWhat will you tell me?â
If Choso is irritated by the vague, passive nature of your questions, he doesnât show it. He simply tugs his purple sweater down, sharply. âYuuji will be sad if his uncle didnât send him money for his birthday. He turns ten next month.â
âSo that wasâŚUncle Kuna,â you ask, murmuring more to yourself than to him. But Chosoâs sharp gaze flicks to you, a faint confirmation in the nod that follows.
âMhm.â
And just like that, something clicks in your brain. A conversation that you had overheard once, perhaps a year or two ago. A rare moment that both your parents had been home, still too distracted to realise that you were listening. The realisation hits you hard, like a small shot of adrenaline, âThatâs not Sukuna, is it? Ryomen Sukuna?â
Chosoâs amber look is like fragile glass now, âYeah. Howâd you figure?â
In a world such as yours and Satoruâs, itâs quite hard to avoid gossip, and whispers that float around in the backrooms of business meetings, or in the too-quiet halls of private clubs. For all the older business-clans, Sukuna is quite the upstart. A man who clawed his way to the top, not just content with money, but power and influence as well. Apparently, he made quite the name for himself, building an empire with wealth beyond measure.
And all at the low price of being wanted in more than thirty-five countries and territories. A businessman, a crook and a criminal. Your father said that Ryomen Sukunaâs ledgers were written in red ink, fresh blood for both personal and financial debts that were owed to him.
âWhy did he say that you came crawling back to him?â
Chosoâs eyes flutter shut, and you can see that heâs calculating whether itâs worth the effort to respond.
âHeâs the reason I dropped out of school,â Choso mutters, the words low enough that almost donât catch them. They land with a soft thud, the kind that makes your pulse stutter. You stare at him, with the kind of look that people give when a ticking time bomb has just been dropped in their lab.
Choso scoffs, eyes darting away, âYeah. Heâs always been sending money for Yuuji. And I was stuck doing hisâŚfavours.â
Suddenly, youâre back in high school. On Chosoâs doorstep, watching him try to hide a cardboard box of surgical tools. Thereâs a little corkboard map in your head connected with red strings, as you pin other things on there. The latex gloves in the box, Chosoâs general lack of squeamish misery when it comes to the stickier parts of medicine, and the bloodstain on Ryomen Sukunaâs Dior jacket.
Itâs almost odd, in a morbid way, that a crime boss chooses the latest Vogue streetwear, instead of a dark Godfather suit and a cigar.
Your expression must betray the pieces that youâve put together, because Chosoâs eyes widen, like he can see the cogs turning in your brain. âLook,â he stammers, voice rougher now, with a nervous edge, âI didnât do anything wrong. Never saw what he did. Not really. Just ââ
You shush him gently, a hand reaching out to land on his, a little too quickly and a little too hot. The instant your skin brushes against his, thereâs a sharp feeling. Like youâve touched something that burns beneath the surface. His face flashes a faint pink, muscles stiffening as though your touch seared him in a way he wasnât prepared for.
âGo on,â you hope that your tone is reassuring.
Choso swallows, his throat bobbing as his fingers suddenly curl around yours, âAnyway, I got tired of doing his dirty work, you know? Thought that if I dropped out, I could get a job. Work enough to support myself and Yuuji, without taking a single dollar from him.â
âBut heâs your uncle?â Your question is tentative, like youâre testing the waters of a deeper pool, âWouldnât he support you, too?â
Chosoâs sigh is deep and weary as he gently corrects you, âHeâs Yuujiâs uncle. Yuujiâs my half-brother.â
Suddenly, Sukunaâs comment about âbiting bastard childrenâ snaps into place with clarity. Oh.
Youâre not sure what to say now, what words could possibly fill the emptiness that lingers between the two of you. What a misery it would have been. Being a teenager with such potential, forced to close off your own future for the sake of family, and those that you love.
You remember Chosoâs face that day, after graduation, with his hollow expression as he watched your friends celebrate their youth. Thereâs a bitter lump in your throat, but for once, you keep it down. This really isnât about you.
You frown, the thought sneaking up on you and settling in your chest like a splinter you canât ignore. âHe said you owed him favours.â
Choso exhales sharply, his shoulders stiffening as if bracing for something unpleasant. His voice is low, bitter. âYou think high school dropouts pay their own way into med school without a benefactor?â
Right.
âSo?â Chosoâs voice cuts through the fog of your thoughts, and you blink at him, startled.
âSo, what?â
Choso shifts, unease seeping into his posture. His calloused fingers are still curled tightly around yours, like heâs afraid that youâll pull away and slip past him.
âAre you angry?â
Youâre not sure whether to laugh, or sigh, âWhy would I be angry?â
Heâs hesitating, dark hair falling loose around his face, âI was a jerk to you.â The words come quietly, like theyâve been gnawing at him, biting at the edges of his thoughts, âAt the time, I donât know, I guess I was just angry. Everything felt unfair, and I didnât want anyone else to be involved.â
You frown, not fully understanding what to say, âYou were still a teenager,â you say slowly, like youâre trying to convince both him and you. You hesitate, unsure whether youâre underplaying things, so the worlds come out a little jagged, not quite as comforting as you wished. âI guessâŚâ It feels weak as your words suddenly stagger off.
Chosoâs eyes flicker to yours, searching, like heâs trying to figure if thereâs something else, youâre not saying, âWhat?â
You can practically hear Satoruâs voice in your heard, groaning and whining about screwing the long game. But you puff a breath through your cheeks, worried youâll lose the nerve, âYou know, I really liked you, right, Choso?â
Chosoâs mouth drops open, as his face flickers with disbelief. The same way it had three years ago, âLike, really?â
You nod, a smile tugging at your lips without even thinking, âYeah. And you know, everyone else thought I was being, like, silly. But I really liked you. I just never knew what to say to you.â It feels so stupid, and obvious now. But back then, it had been a great chunk of your world. You force yourself to hold his bashful gaze.
Chosoâs quiet for a moment, before he admits, âI couldnât believe it when you asked me to be your date. I thought it was just a game you were playing, or there was no-one left to ask.â
And then, after a beat, âWho did you go with?â
You snicker, a little too bitter and honest, âNo-one.â
Chosoâs quiet, relieved âdamnâ makes you laugh even more, threading your fingers with his.
âI just canât believe heâs in your classes. What are the odds?â Satoru mutters, abandoning his sunglasses for the evening, his bright eyes flashing like sunlight refracted on water. He claims that his eyes are less sensitive today, but youâre certain itâs an excuse for him to freely rifle through your kitchen without obstruction. In the living room, the rest of your friends hover like a pack of starved hyenas, waiting for the snacks that Satoru is currently monopolising.
âIâm telling you, when I first saw him, my heart dropped straight to my ass,â you say, tearing open a bag of sour cream crisps with more force than necessary. The chips tumble into the earthenware bowl in a noisy cascade.
Satoru snickers, expertly arranging small platters on a big, oaken serving board, âI pity the lack of cushioning it got.â
You flick a stray crisp at him, the chip bouncing off his shoulder with a gratifying crunch. For a moment, his grin is steady, but it quickly turns rueful. That slight furrow in his brows, the way the corner of his mouth twitches downwards. Thereâs something else simmering under that veneer of carelessness.
âYouâre not happy, Satoru?â
His expression hardens slightly, plucking a cluster of wine-red grapes, twisting them off their stems with methodical precision.
âWell, yeah,â Satoru admits after a beat, his tone uncharacteristically sober, âIâm glad that heâs, like, nice now or whatever. But he basically broke your heart, didnât he?â
You glance away, your fingers tighten on the corner of another snack bag, âHe had his reasons.â Your flat reply avoids his curious gaze, perceptive and knowing. You hadnât filled him on the Sukuna-lore. Youâre not sure what it is, but thereâs bad blood between the Gojos and Sukuna, and youâre not keen to exacerbate it.
Oh, hey, Satoru! So, Choso is like Sukunaâs adopted nephew. And I think Sukuna forced him to like clean up peopleâs chopped fingers and arms, or whatever. But I have a big crush on him, yep. Right after I said that I wouldnât catch feelings again.
Satoru scoffs, wagging a long finger at you. A glistening droplet of grape juice clings to his thumb like a ruby bead, âDonât make excuses for someone hurting your feelings. You know better than that.â His tone carries the same theatrical lilt as always, but itâs underpinned with something firmer, genuine.
Before you can fire back, a new voice meanders into the kitchen, soft and unhurried, âWho hurt your feelings?â
Itâs Suguru, propped lazily against the doorway, choppy layers freshly framing his sharp features. The dim kitchen light catches on the faint sheen of his silver rings as he crosses his arms.
Satoru grabs a bag of pretzels, lobbing it towards him, âChoso Kamo. Remember that emo guy I told you about?â
Suguru catches the bag with practised ease, without looking, his mauve gaze flicking to you. You silently curse Gojo Satoru for broadcasting your love life, or lack thereof, to what feels like half the city.
âWhatâs he look like again?â
You narrow your eyes at the tall man, âHe was literally in our grade.â
Suguru shrugs, his palms raised in mock innocence, âI never saw him, okay? He was quiet as hell, never had classes with him.â
âHe wasnât that quiet,â you protest, but your words are drowned out by Satoruâs triumphant declaration.
âHold up! I got visual aid.â
Heâs whipped out his phone, unlocking it with a brief glance of his face, before shoving the dimmed screen inches from Suguruâs puzzled face. The photo, a grainy yearbook photo of Choso in junior year, gleams under the kitchen lights. You wonder if youâre going to need to fight for your life on the frontlines again.
For a moment, Suguruâs expression remains neutral. Unimpressed even. Then, as if someoneâs flipped a switch, his eyes widen with dawning recognition, âThis is Kamo? His girlfriendâs my neighbour.â
Half a grape travels down Satoruâs windpipe, âThe villain!â
Your best friendâs exclamation ricochets off the kitchen walls, loud enough to silence whatever protest was forming on your lips. Not that you had much ground to stand on. How would you even know? Choso had talked to you about his family, not his love life. You saw him a few times a week, and then the two of you would drift away, back to your own orbits. And he was a grown man with a life that had surely moved past you.
You had told him that you had liked him, and he hadnât said a word back that hinted at any mutual connection. How had you missed that?â
Satoru is still recovering from his near demise at the hands of fruit, âWhat girlfriend? Youâre sure, Suguru?â
Suguru raises an eyebrow, looking like he regrets ever opening his mouth, âHey. Donât pin this on me. But he comes by, with a little pink-haired kid. His brother? And sheâs like talkative,â and he gestures vaguely above his head, âLike, really tall. Blonde.â
Your eyes had drifted to the unopened case of vodka sitting on the counter.
Satoru clocks you immediately, âDonât even think about it. Weâre going to handle this like mature adults.â
âWe?â
Satoru nods solemnly, looping his arm through Suguruâs leather jacket, âYes. Your Choso loss is my Choso loss,â and he pulls Suguru closer, âOur Choso loss.â
Suguru sighs, not shaking him off as he looks at you sympathetically, âWhy am I a part of this? No offense. You could skip all this misery, and I donât know because Iâm just spit balling here, ask him?â
The dark-haired man continues, âOr, and I know this is radical for two divas like you, you could just let it go and spare yourself the drama. If youâre going to be working in the same field, wouldnât professionalism be better?â
Satoru scoffs, âOr! We do some reconnaissance. I mean, youâre the girlfriendâs neighbour, Suguru. Go snoop around.â
âWhy is it always me?â Suguruâs pinching the bridge of his nose.
âBecause it is always you. Youâve got the best sneaky liar face I know,â Satoru replies breezily, ignoring how Suguru mutters about the love he feels in this kitchen, âAnd you need to do this for the greater good. All that noble shit.â
Suguru shoots you a half-hearted glare, as if this is somehow your fault, and not Satoru pulling every string. Youâre one more inconvenience away from slumping onto the counter, head in hands, a shot glass by your side.
Your mind flickers to the hair tie that Choso always wears on his wrist. It could be innocuous, sure, but the green-eyed monster claws itself up in your chest. You imagine this faceless girlfriend passing it to him, like an intimate, inside joke.
âWhat am I supposed to do? Corner him in the break room on placements, and interrogate him? Should I pull out the clan funds, and pay him to date me?â
âItâs what I did with Suguru,â Satoru quips, not missing a beat.
âNow whoâs the liar,â Suguru murmurs.
The hospitalâs looming ahead. A hulking mass of glass and steel that outline the bleak sky. Itâs a bitter Monday morning, the kind that bites at your cheeks and sinks into your bones, no matter how tightly you bundle up. The drive has been long and so utterly tedious, the pale sunlight doing little to brighten the cityscape as you crawl along congested streets.
Now, on the far edge of the suburbs, youâre left squinting and fuming as you circle the parking lot for the third time. The situation is grim, spots are scarce, and every turn feels like an ill-fated gamble that only ends in someone elseâs bumper.
You mutter curses under your breath, the heater in your car doing little to thaw your mood.
Chosoâs already there, not a massive surprise, for his apartment is far closer than your waterfront residence, smack-bang in the cityâs central district. His dark hair is loosely tied back, and heâs thrown an old hoodie over his scrubs. Thereâs a clipboard tucked under his arm, and a coffee cup in the other.
He extends the cup towards you without preamble, âWant it?â
You blink, catching on the incongruity of the gesture. But Suguruâs intel still echoes in your mind, he has a girlfriend.
You furrow your brow, the cup hovering between you, âWhereâs yours?â
Choso shrugs, âI donât drink coffee. Makes me jittery.â
This answer irritates you for no logical reason. Who doesnât drink coffee? It feels like some fundamental character flaw, and you snatch the cup from his hand. Doing your very best not to unfairly glare at him, for the sole crime of having a life outside of you.
Itâs hard to focus when heâs nailed your exact order. You lower the cup, the warmth seeping through the cardboard sleeve and into your fingers, doing little to melt the icy knot that sits in your chest.
Choso seems almost unnervingly chipper this morning, a far cry from his usual brooding demeanour. Thereâs no scowl etched on his handsome face, no trace of his typical stoicism. Instead, he wears the faintest trace of a smile, a subtle and almost tentative thing that pulls at the corners of his mouth as he glances over a nearly printed itinerary.
The sight throws you further off-kilter. Itâs rare to see him like this, easy and unguarded, and you canât help the way your lips twitch, the barest hint of a smile threatening to escape before you smother it.
âWeâre starting in the ER for two hours,â he reads aloud, voice steady, âthen, the paediatric unit.â He pauses to flip the page, his expression shifting to mild exasperation, âAnd then, paperwork in the break room.â
âFigures,â you grumble, tucking your hands into your coat pockets, âFree labour from the students, yeah?â
Choso glances at you, from the corner of his eye, an unimpressed but faintly amused look on his face, âThought that you would start the day with a more upbeat attitude.â
You grunt in response, which only earns a shake of his head as he folds the itinerary back into his clipboard.
A beat of silence stretches between you, only punctured by the sound of light metal snapping as you clip a badge to your pocket, but heâs speaking again.
âYou good?â
His bronze eyes flick to yours, clearly searching, and your pulse stutters, âYeah. Obviously.â
Choso takes a deep breath, his chest rising and gearing up for something monumental. The way his fingers fidget against the clipboard betrays him, they tap out a staccato rhythm. Thereâs a flush creeping on the back of his neck, subtle but unmistakeable.
âWant to get dinner tonight?â He blurts, the words tumbling out so fast that they barely sound like a sentence.
You blink at him, confused, âBless you.â Your automatic response, because he spoke so quickly that it sounded as though he had sneezed.
Chosoâs scowl is immediate, âNo.â He says it firmly, drawing out each word in exasperation, âI asked if you wanted to get dinner tonight. After this.â
Oh. Oh.
The realisation hits you like a jolt, and for a second, all you can do is gape at him. Heâs looking at you now, an almost defiant sort of expectation in his gaze, as though heâs worried that youâre going to laugh at him. But before you piece together a coherent response, thereâs a sharp rap-rap-rap of knuckles on the doorframe.
The ward manager is here, her expression brisk and no-nonsense, gesturing for the two of you to begin your shift placement.
Your head snaps back at him, mouth moving before your brain diplomatically catches up, âI donât think thatâs fair to your girlfriend, do you?â
Chosoâs brows knit together, his expression shifting to something startled and indignant. Irritated, even, as you push past him.
Heâs trying to speak to you. Itâs painfully obvious, as heâs got that mildly dazed look. All that awkward, earnest attention is squarely focused on you.
Youâre having none of it.
He steps to your side as you shuffle through patient charts, his broad frame taking up more than his fair share of narrow space, shadowing your elbow as you scribble furious notes. His mouth opens, probably to say something that you donât want to hear, but youâre faster.
âHey, Choso, whatâs her blood pressure?â You interrupt, not bothering to look up from the faintly lined paper.
Thereâs a second of hesitation before he answers, â120 over 50. Just write that down. Got it? Okay, yeah, can you stop moving for a second and ââ
You squint at the chart, cutting him off again, âHmm, donât you think that the diastolic is a little low?â
His shoulders slump, âYes, but the doctors already know that. She has hypothyroidism, you told me that when you interrupted me like half an hour ago. Canât you just ââ Choso stops mid-sentence again, muttering a resigned oh my god, when you pivot away and head to the next room without so much a glance back.
It sets the tone for the rest of the shift. You make a sport of avoiding him, weaving through the emergency department like a fish slipping upstream, leaving Choso stranded in your wake. He follows, persistent in his mild-mannered way, but youâre relentless.
âCan you hand me that chart?â Heâs trying again, as youâre elbow deep in filing.
âOh, this one?â You sweetly ask, holding it just out of his reach, before conveniently remembering that you need to double-check something on it. He just huffs at you.
By hour three, itâs clear that Chosoâs patience is wearing thin, and fighting a war against his professionalism. He corners you near the supply cart while you rummage for gloves.
âThere you are.â
âOh, are we low on size medium?â You cut in, loud enough to catch the attention of a passing manager, âShould we restock?â
Choso inhales through his nose, âWeâre not low on gloves. Weâre fine on gloves. Can you stop talking about gloves for one second?â
You flash him a smile thatâs all teeth, âGloves are important, Choso. Hygiene is crucial.â
This time, you see him run an exasperated hand over his face, before realising that now heâs just contaminated his own pair of gloves. Snarling at you as he rips the blue latex off and reaching for the size large box.
Your phone buzzes in your pocket, once and then twice. Then thrice, as if whoeverâs contacting you as something urgent to say. You ignore it, youâll check it after placements.
The hours tick by, and your strategy remains the same. Stay busy, stay distant, and stay unreachable. Donât make it seem like youâre irrationally bothered by Choso having a life of his own and having a girlfriend. Or that you actually had hope that this time round, his feelings for you were requited.
By the time you both stumble into the break room, Choso looks as if heâs experienced the full emotional spectrum, like heâs been knocked through the five stages of grief and landed somewhere in the resigned space of acceptance. He looks as if heâs clearly preparing to lecture you, to tirade you on professional conduct and â
Without warning, his phone buzzes.
You donât even look up from cracking open your water bottle, the sound of plastic barely crinkles louder than the dull thud of your own heartbeat. Choso glances at you out of the corner of his eyes, a flash of alarm crossing his face, before he draws his attention back to the screen of his phone.
You hear the faintest scoff from his direction, and heâs shaking his head as you watch in mild interest.
âWhat?â
Choso doesnât answer immediately, still scrolling through his phone.
âIâm not dating Tsukumo Yuki.â
Your mouth goes dry. You blink rapidly, wide-eyed as if heâs just spoken in an ancient, dead language.
âWhat?â You manage weakly, âWho? What? ââ
Thereâs a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, and you fear the cause of this slow and curling chest is a meddling duo of two men, one with dark hair and the other with snowy-white.
Choso doesnât even glance up at you, his voice tinged with something incredulous now, âWhy is Gojo Satoru texting me? He says that youâre not replying to his or Geto Suguruâs messages. And apparently, this is super urgent, and he feels like he must do his divine duty by interfering before you do something stupid.
Choso pauses, finally looking at you as if heâs truly baffled, âAnd you all thought that I was dating Tsukumo.â
Youâre crafting a list in your head. Twenty creative ways to kill Gojo Satoru and not land in prison afterwards.
Maybe you should ask Choso for Ryomen Sukunaâs contact.
âThatâs crazy,â you say, the words tasting thin and hollow in a bitter, embarrassed lie.
Choso shakes his head at you, some dark strands of hair falling across his eyes, âShe looks after Yuuji sometimes. I take him over to her place because Yukiâs adopted a kid, Todo. The two of them are friends.â
âUh.â
Choso turns back to his phone screen, scrolling through whatever nonsense Satoru is feeding him, âHave you being icing me out all day, because you thought I had a girlfriend?â
âWill you hate me if I say yes?â Youâre looking anywhere but him, focusing on the chipped, lilac paint on the break-room door. Or the slightly off-centre light bulb flickering above. Somewhere, in the back of your mind, youâre adding Geto Suguru to your kill list.
Chosoâs voice is softer when he answers, almost too quiet, âHey. You know I couldnât hate you if I tried.â But thereâs a strange mixture of amusement and disbelief in his voice, a bemused chuckle that lingers in the air, âWow. Just wow.â
You grimace, fingers toying with the edge of the water bottle as you wrangle your thoughts into words, âAre you mad? I mean, look. I told you I liked you. And then you held my hands, so I thought you liked me back. And you got me coffee. But Suguru said you had a girlfriend, and you canât blame me for being â Oh my god, Iâm going to stop talking, youâre looking at me like Iâve gone crazy.â
Chosoâs expression shifts, just staring at you. You donât more than a split-second to process his strangely intense look. Thereâs no time to recover before he leans down, his hands surprisingly warm and gentle as they cradle the side of your face.
Your breath hitches, but before you can form another thought, his lips are on yours. Theyâre warm, deliberate and surprisingly firm. The scent of crisp green apples falls over you, as his hair envelops your face.
He pulls back just enough to study you, âWas that okay?â he asks, his fingers still lingering at the curve of your jaw, like he canât believe he just kissed you. You can feel the sharp blush sting your face, as your heart practically goes into cardiac arrest, nodding quickly.
âUh, Iâm not really an expert in this field,â Choso murmurs, âBut I canât believe that I waited this long to do that.â
âYou can do that again,â you say. Wondering if you should buy Satoru and Suguru a bouquet of flowers instead.
Choso, predictably, blushes deep enough that it nearly looks like he might combust. His eyes flicker away, avoiding your gaze in that way he does when heâs trying to sort through his emotions. But itâs hard to miss the warm flush thatâs firmly planted on his neck.
âCan I do it over that dinner?â Choso murmurs, his voice dipping lower, before he quickly rephrases, âI obviously do want to kiss you now, again, that is, but if they catch us in the break room ââ
You suddenly beam up at him, patting him on the cheek, âYou can kiss me as much as you like over dinner.â
Choso looks as though heâs been struck with a metaphorical thunderbolt, as if he didnât expect you to agree so straightforwardly. And then, as if he canât help himself, he presses a quick and soft kiss to your forehead. For the briefest second, it feels as if youâre a teenager again, caught in the whirlwind of something simple and so sweet.
âOkay. So, is that a yes?â He asks, a little breathless, as if heâs not sure what kind of confirmation heâs just gotten but needing it to hear it anyway.
âIf itâs a proper date, itâs a yes.â
Choso mutters under his breath, âYou know Geto Suguru texted me with a five-paragraph apology, something about sneaking around my apartment. Stalking me this morning,â and here, he looks at you, utterly exasperated but fond, âSomething about checking to see if I had a girlfriend. I mean, I donât even know the guy. We never talked in school.â
You loop your arm with his, pulling him in slightly, âSee, I always did say my friends were super nice. Theyâre going to be super nice, and normal. Trust me.â
ONE WEEK LATER.
âAnd to my brother-in-law, my brother-in-arms, my brother in the Constantinople Crusades of 1204,â Satoru hiccups, his words slurring together in a rambled mess, as he sways over the edge of Suguruâs arms, and for a split second, youâre worried the white-haired man is going to tip over entirely, âMy new brother, Choso. We always knew it was going to happen, eh?â
Chosoâs cheeks turn a faint shade of crimson in the sudden spotlight as everyone cheers, and he shifts awkwardly. Suguruâs shooting him an apologetic look, the corners of his mouth twitching as he props Satoru up, âHeâs a lightweight. And we watched a historical movie last night.â
âI can tell,â Choso grumbles, his face flushed now as Satoruâs monologue drifts like an aimless plastic bag in the wind, his words growing nonsensical as you reach over to pinch at his cheeks. He yelps but continues to babble on about how he and Choso are going to be best friends now, and theyâre going to go shopping together, and ice-skating, and fruit-picking. All nonsense burbles being strung together by the tequila shots that Satoru swore he could handle an hour ago.
You glance over at Choso, faintly embarrassed, but he just laughs, a sound thatâs unexpectedly light and unguarded. His fingers slide into yours once more, and the motion is gentle and natural, as though this, you, are exactly where heâs meant to be. And he drapes the wide expanse of his aviator jacket over your shoulders.
Meanwhile, Suguru is wrestling with Satoru, pushing him back down from his impromptu toast to your boyfriend, before the bartender can usher you all towards the exit. The burly man is already giving Satoruâs drunken proclamations a nasty look.
Shoko, of course, is grinning at you, a tankard of beer glimmering in front of her. Her eyes gleam with the sharpness of someone whoâs won a decent amount of money in a bet. And Utahime is standing back with a faintly judgemental expression that only veils her gossipy curiosity, and a glum look as she passes wads of cash into Shokoâs waiting hands.
âThey really do like me,â Choso murmurs, his voice low and almost carrying the undertone of vulnerability, alongside some quiet self-awareness.
You laugh, brushing your thumb over the back of his hand, leaning in to press a quick peck to the dark mark that streaks over his face, âThey all have no choice. Youâre my boyfriend now.â
The words slip out effortlessly, and for a moment, they hang between you like something solid and unspoken, as though saying it aloud has made it feel real in a way it never quite did before. Chosoâs eyes flick to yours, and something shifts in his expression â just a slight softening around the edges.
Then, without warning, you lean in, closing the distance between you, and kiss him. Itâs slow, deliberate, with none of the frantic energy of your first kiss but instead the quiet certainty of something just beginning to bloom. You feel the faintest sigh from Nanami in the background, the sound of Geto groaning as Gojo whoops with drunken delight.
The noise from the bar fades into nothing as you focus entirely on the warmth of Chosoâs shy lips against yours, the gentle pressure as he presses more into you, the soft thud of his heartbeat where your hand rests over his chest. For that moment, itâs just you and him, and everything else is an afterthought.
âOkay! Iâve had enough of the lot of you snogging and yelling in my bar! And take stupid Jack Frost out with yaâ!â
[the most awful, horrific, violent, traumatic, horrible thing happens]
Nikki: Wow, this really makes me want to design clothes!
me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home
me when I get home: