Iggy Azalea - Blog Posts

Iggy Azalea

Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea and their big big booties! 🍑🖤🤍💋

This is the list of music that make me feel like the villian or will make you feel like the coolest (and crazy) badass Queen / King that you are.

2YA2YAO! - Super Junior

Ain't My Fault- Zara Larsson

All the Time 2 - Wintertime

Bad Blood - Taylor Swift

Black Widow - Iggy Azalea ft. Rita Ora

Castle - Halsey

Cradles - Sub Urban

Crazy=Genius - Panic at The Disco!

Cooler Than Me - Lucky Luke

Diamonds - Sam Smith

Do Me a Favor - Arctic Monkeys

Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time - Panic at The Disco!

Double Knot - Stray Kids

Emperor's New Clothes - Panic at The Disco!

Everybody Knows - Sigrid

Ex's and Oh's - Elle King

Formation - Beyonce

Heart Shape Box - Nirvana

Heathens - Twenty One Pilots

Heavydirtysoul - Twenty One Pilots

Hell or Hallelujah - KISS

Homemade Dynamite - Lorde ft Khalid

Horns - Bryce Fox

How You Like That - BLACKPINK

Humble - Kendrick Lamar

In My Feelings - Lana Del Rey

John Wayne - Lady Gaga

Kanye's in My Head - Boy Epic

Kill this Love - BLACKPINK

Love Killa - MONSTA X

Me, Myself & I - G-Eazy ft Bebe Rexha

Meltdown - Stromae ft Lorde

Mount Everest - Labrinth

Nate Growing Up - Labrinth

Natural - Imagine Dragons

Nigthmare -Halsey

Obsession - EXO

Old Town Road - Lil Nax X ft Billy Ray Cyrus

Panda - Desiigner

Pirate King - ATEEZ

Power is Power - SZA, The Weeknd & Travis Scott

Pray for Me - The Weekend ft Kendrick Lamar

Pretty Savage - BLACKPINK

Pumped up Kicks - Foster of the People

Quarantine - Boy Epic

Ready for This - Taylor Swift

Sacrifice - Bebe Rexha

Sally Walker - Iggy Azalea

Sleeping Powder- Gorillaz

So What - Pink

Start a Riot - Duckwrth ft Shaboozey

Started - Iggy Azalea

Sucker for Pain - Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons w/ Logic & Ty Dolla $ign ft X Ambassadors

Sympathy for the Devil - The Rolling Stones

Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer

This is America - Childish Gambino

Toxic - Britney Spears

Victorious - Panic at The Disco!

War Machine - KISS

What I Know Now - THEY ft Wiz Khalifa

When I R.I.P. - Labrinth

Wicked Games - The Weekend

Wolf - Boy Epic

Wonderland - ATEEZ

ariana grande - problem (lyric video) ft. iggy azalea (2014)

obsessed w this 60s concept ! 🎼

Speed it up

Iggy Azalea 💕

Ch. 5 Pt. 2 | Damn, It's Like That?

Beau

Cheri’s House

8:14 p.m.

I’ve never had someone look at me with so much hatred and malice before until I met this man who I now know to be Nasir. And it’s crazy because it’s misguided hatred; I wasn’t the one driving the car nor was I the one to give Riley the alcohol. He’s ready to go to war with the wrong one.

 I watched his every move, mannerism and gesture, as he got ready to charge at me. This nigga got me fucked up, I didn’t earn my Golden Gloves and spend countless hours training to get my ass whooped by some cornball ass nigga. He thought he was big jumping me at the hospital, but fuck it we can get even now.

 Before either of us could swing I heard her voice firmly speak up,

“Yo I swear to God if either one of y’all swing I’m bodying both of y’all and ya mans too,” she said coldly and calmly making everybody stop dead in their tracks.She had our undivided attention and she didn’t have to raise her voice or make a scene to get it.

 Hearing her thick Brooklyn accent flow effortlessly along with the bass added in her voice had me ready to get her up out that chair.

A woman that isn’t afraid to speak up when need be is sexy and by the look radiating in eyes she knew the power she had.

“You have no plausible reason to want to scrap with him other than being in your feelings?” she looked at him with a raised eyebrow. I analyzed her every move and mentally stored away everything she said.

“You serious right na?!” Nas growled at her.

He was literally fuming, “This nigga took so much from you, from everyone around you and I’m not bout to have him up in my house, eating my shit up and his mans damn sure ain’t bout to be fucking with my sister,” he spat.

 She stared at him for a good two minutes before she did the last thing any of us expected her to do. She laughed, laughed right in his face. She laughed so hard her side hurt and tears came to her eyes.

“Fuck is so funny Dutch!” he said genuinely upset I could even see a hit on the hurt written on his face.

She wiped her eyes, “You, because clearly you have lost your cotton picking ass mind if you think you’re gonna stand here and tell me what has been taken from me,” she growled.

“You damn right something was taken from me, but he wasn’t necessarily the one who took it. You’re stupid ass can’t even get the full story because you’re so blinded by anger that you can’t even see who’s really at fault,” she giving Riley her full attention.

 Her glare was so intense he immediately dropped his eyes from contact. He looked like a scared child being put on trial. Unfortunately for him, Dutchess was the only judge and jury for his case.

“I’m well aware of what was taken from me and no mothafucka in this room can tell me otherwise. I need to know why it was taken and there are only two people in this room that can give me those answers. I’ll be damned if you lose your black ass mind and end up doing something stupid, yet” she added with a beautiful, mischievous smile. Her filthy mouth turned me on; baby girl could cuss like a sailor and still be sexy.

 “Do you know what it’s like to have the one you love act like you don’t exist?!” she continued her rant.

 “Huh?! Got mothafuckas looking at me like I’m a fucking leper or some cripple! Gotta fucking rely on you to do simple shit for me like wash my ass?! Do you have any idea how fucking embarrassing that shit is?

Never in my life have I ever needed to rely on anything or anyone and now look at me!” she barked dejected and hurt.

“Now get your shit together AK and Autumn are going to be here any minute, I don’t need both of y’all acting like y’all have no sense,” she said somewhat dismissing him. He looked at her like she was crazy.

 He wanted to fuck her up so bad, I could see it, she could see it, but what I didn’t see was fear. His body language was telling us that he wanted to rip her apart piece-by-piece by her eyes read “Nigga please try it”. She wasn’t backing down from his hard stare.

 “Whateva man,” he huffed out salty as fuck and went into another room slamming the door shut. So hard that the doorframe rattled making Cheri jump.

 I watched her let out a deep breath, probably one she had been holding for sometime. She looked down before raising her head and shot me a beautiful apologetic smile.

 I was taken back by everything that transpired and this woman before me, I never expected her to hold me down and fully understand that I wasn’t responsible for putting the wheelchair, but seeing her genuinely smile meant everything to me. I couldn’t ask for more.

 She didn’t have to say anything more to me because I knew from then that she somewhat understood my position. I couldn’t help but return my own toothy grin.

 “I’m gonna go check on him, Dutch you okay out here for a sec?” Cheri asked flustered as she walked towards his room. I feel like shit for ruining her dinner before it even got started.

 “Yeah, I’ll be fine” she said never taking her eyes off Riley.

 Since we got here for some reason she hasn’t taken her eyes off him. It’s like she instantly knew he was the driver and once it was confirmed she locked on to her target. He was prey and she was prepared to feed. It was a little unsettling.

 She studied his movements and seemed to enjoy watching him falter under her microscope. 

“So how’s the recovery process?” Jay asked Dutchess trying to make small talk to lighten the mood.

 “I’m curious what were you drinking that night?” she kept her focus on Riley completely disregarding Jay’s question and his presence.

 “Damn, coldblooded," I heard him mumble and I shook my head, chuckling. Dutchess has made it very clear that she had no problems holding her own.

 “151 and Henny,” Riley said bluntly, coldly even. I could tell all the attention on him had him edge. He had a bad habit of getting out of pocket and saying slick shit, but I can tell he’s met his match with Dutch.

 She solemnly nodded her head letting what he said register in her mind. She wanted answers and I can tell we’re not leaving until she gets them.

 “Was it worth it?” she asked Riley.

 He scrunched up his face perplexed, “What?”

“You ruined my fucking life you little piece of shit! You damn near took everything from me, but couldn’t take my life! You’re selfish as fuck and karma is a bitch. Not only did you put my life in the crosshairs of death, but you put two other lives in danger being a bitch,” she barked at him only for him to cower away.

“I honestly hope and pray to God that you get everything coming to your punk ass because I don’t believe that you genuinely had a reason to be so careless with our lives,” she pointed to herself and me.

 “I think that you’re selfish, narcissistic asshole who needs to learn the value of life and it’s true meaning because you’re a lost soul.

 So when I asked you if it was worth it? And you had that dumb ass look on your face you gave me all the confirmation I needed. I hope you rot,” she said harshly and blunt shocking us all.

Before he could respond she rolled herself into the kitchen leaving us to consume her words and commit them to memory. 

 Dutch

At the dinner table

9:00 p.m.

By the time AK, Autumn and Cheri’s homegirl, Lauryn arrived Nas dragged his sorry out his room, but he has yet to look my way or address me and to be honest I’m glad he hasn’t I don’t have the time or energy to put up with his piss ass attitude. I completely understand the concern he’s feeling. Shit I’m scared too.

Riley excused himself after I ripped him a new asshole, he called himself a cab and dipped out before we even had a chance to say grace. But I can guarantee we’ll cross paths again.

 What if he has no plausible explanation though? What if he was just driving drunk for the thrill and I just happened to get hit because of his careless and self-centered nature?

 “Ayo Dutch you heard me?” I heard AK ask me snapping me from my thoughts.

 “Nah I didn’t actually, wassup?” I said nodding my head at Nas indicating that he had put enough food on my plate and I was good. As much as I can’t stand him he did his thing with these oxtails, would have thought his country bumpkin ass was West Indian or some shit. 

“I asked if you seen Nami lately?” he asked curiously and my body tensed up. Just hearing her name brought butterflies to my stomach and my head began to swirl. And effect only she seemed to have.

“Nope, she was over earlier this week to drop off some clothes and hygiene supplies, but other than that no. She said that Aaron has been asking her to make runs at crazy hours so she hasn’t really had much time for herself,” I said as I spooned some rice into my mouth.

I heard Cheri’s friend scoff before shoveling an oxtail in her mouth, “Lauryn, right?” I said catching onto her shady antics.

 “Yeah,” she said plastering a fake ass smile on her face.

 “You seem like you have something to say or have a lot on your mind, do you know Nami?” I asked giving her my full attention. I could feel Nas’ stare damn near burning a hole into the side of my face.

 Beau and Jay look confused as hell. Cheri on the other hand she looked pissed, like her friend spilled the beans and shit was about to hit the fan.

“Nah I don’t know her personally, but I met her when she came into the hospital two weeks ago,” she said matter of factly. She knew she hit a nerve.

Why would she be in the hospital, is she okay? Did something happen? My mind was on a thousand, Nami wouldn’t keep something like that from me, but it seems like I don’t know her anymore.

“Hospital? Why would she be there?” I said trying to down play my curiosity.

“Lauryn can I uh, talk to you in the kitchen real quick?” Cheri interjected before she could respond. I could tell whatever it was Cheri knew and had known for two weeks now.

“Nah fuck that one of y’all better start fucking talking I know that much,” I threatened as I threw my napkin on my plate. My appetite now gone.

 Cheri looked at me with eyes full of pity and regret. Lauryn just looked confused and spaced out.

 “She came in for a pregnancy test. She should be about…14 weeks now,” Lauryn said as she counted the weeks on her fingers making sure she was accurate.

 That shit literally took all the wind out of my sail. Pregnant? Nah it can’t be, not my baby. Having a baby? Damn, it’s like that?

 “Dutch….Dutch…DUTCHESS!” Cheri said snapping her fingers in my face.

“Don’t say nothing to me,” I barked at her.

 My face instantly became to sour, when I realized she knew all this time and had me looking like a fucking fool. “You knew didn’t you?”

 She sighed and nodded her head, “Fuck you Cheri, that’s messed up all this time you knew she was playing me, but you just let me go looking for love in the wrong fucking places. That’s foul son.”

“Dutch I don’t think now is the time to discuss this, I really didn’t want you to find out this way. I wanted Nami to be the one to tell you her dirty secret. It wasn’t my place or anyone else’s for that matter,” she pleaded looking around at everyone at the table mugging Lauryn.

"I didn't want to be the one to hurt you."

When I looked around everyone’s face read concern. But fuck that I don’t need their concern. As right as she was forgiveness wasn’t something I could give her.

 “Yeah, well you succeeded. Like I said, Fuck you Cheri,” I coldly spat before rolling myself away from the table my mind full of emotions and my chest tight from the pain I felt

Nasir

10:45 p.m.

I can’t front both those niggas Beau and Jay ain’t too bad, I admit it I prejudged them.

 But their mans though once I see him it’s on sight. Now that they both clarified what happened and the fact that Beau just happened to be in the wrong car at the wrong time I kinda feel like shit for jumping the nigga.

“Damn son, Cheri dropped a bomb my nigga,” AK said taking a long drag from the blunt. After those niggas and Cheri’s bumb ass friend left we decided to roll up. Autumn caught the itis and fell asleep in the room Cheri’s room.

 She felt like shit keeping that secret so she decided to go spend a night at her nigga house for the night. Talkin’ bout she can’t face Dutch, but she could face her when she knew that foul ass secret. Fuck outta hea’ man.

 “I know nigga and something is telling me that it’s that nigga A’s baby,” I said taking the blunt from him and letting all of the interactions between A and Nami replay in my mind.

 I knew the nigga was foul, but I also know he got a wife and kids at home. I never thought he would get himself caught up like that. I also know in my heart that Nami is a trick ass bitch, but I put my feelings to the side for Dutch’s sake.

 All bets are off na.

 Dutch has always looked out for him and held him down; they have literally made millions together over the years. Why fuck up your business relations and money over some pussy?

 This shit is low and dumb even for his greedy ass. I know Dutch is going to get money regardless because she’s been in the business longer and has more connects. Why cut off the hand that helps feed you and your family?

 “Why you say that son?” AK asked sparking up another blunt, I chuckled because we haven’t even finished the one in rotation.

 “About a month ago, just after the accident we were at Dutch’s crib Nami ran out saying she had to make a run, but it didn’t make sense. Your girl just got in car accident and is hella fucked up yet you’re finding a way to make runs instead of being by her side?” I stated as I went through my mental rolodex.

“Yeah my nigga, but that don’t mean it’s A’s though?”

“But check it that night I brought Dutch to the crib on our way to the car I pepped Nami hopping out of a black truck, Aaron’s truck. When I honked the horn at her she was shook. Ain’t nobody out at those hours unless they hoein’ or partyin’,” I told him and he threw his head back laughing.

“You a fool man, but yo I’m about to go carry Autumn’s greedy ass home, but we should link up with that nigga A and get his side of the story,” he said and I nodded my head.

“Iigh bet, but if the nigga gets outta pocket I’m hooking his shit,” I told him with no remorse him heart.

 If it is his baby than he’s flaw as fuck and I have no business breaking bread with a greasy nigga like dat.

 __

“Bae?” I said cautiously walking into my room.

After our blow up earlier and then the bomb dropped on her I was a little uneasy going into the situation.

 When she didn’t respond I peeped her sitting in her chair staring out at the city below, spaced out. She looked so defeated when my eyes met hers, my heart damn near shattered into a billion pieces. She looked worn and disheveled.

 Her beautiful brown skin stained with dry tears,

 Her nose rosy red,

 Those light brown orbs that I’ve grown to love staring into, normally so full of life are now dull, dark and lifeless. They looked like dark empty pits void and incapable of feeling and it scared me.

“Hey, “ she said weakly before dropping her head in shame.

I was by her side in an instant; I didn’t care about our blow up earlier or Nami’s foul ass. She couldn't handle a woman like Dutch anyway. My baby needed me and that’s all that matters at this point.

 I didn’t know what to say or what I could do to pacify the situation because there was no way that I could possibly rectify it at this point. The damage was already done.

“Baby you wanna take a bath? The cuddle up for some good sleep,” I asked as I stroked her cheek with my thumb.

 She swiftly nodded her head never bringing her eyes up to meet mine; I scooped her up and held her close. The connection was what she needed because her body instantly melted into mine nuzzling her face into my neck.

 I sat her in her chair; we kept a chair in the tub just to make her shower process easier. I even had my plumber come by and install a special shower head just for her to make sure she was as comfortable as possible.

 I helped her slip out her clothes and tossed them somewhere in the bathroom. I lifted her so she could ease out of her thong before gingerly sitting her back down.

“Your ribs are healing nicely,” I commented as I carefully removed the bandage from around her torso examining the skin before lightly kissing the area making her jump then sigh.

She just nodded her head not bothering to look at me as she toyed with her fingernails, something she did when nervous.

I put on Pandora to lighten the mood a bit, I could tell that her mind was going into overdrive right na and I just wanted to soothe her in an any way.

I wet her body from her head down and her body instantly began to relax as she let out a ragged sigh.

I massaged shampoo into her scalp taking my time to really let my fingers go to work. I wanted to tonight to really be about her and put her body at ease. If I could absorb any of her pain or heartache I’d gladly take it.

“You want to talk about it?” I cautiously asked her.

“Not yet, I haven’t processed it all myself. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about it,” she said finally making eye contact. I could see the torment in her eyes and I felt something I can’t explain.

I nodded my head, continuing my ministrations on her scalp as I began to rinse the shampoo from her hair watching it run down her back. She tilted her head back with her eyes closed to assist me.

I brought the shower head and began to wet the rest of her body. I watched the water splash and pool around her plump thighs and felt my dick twitch. Nami really had to be bat shit crazy to let such a beautiful specimen go.

It was like God himself took the sweetest, richest chocolate he could find and carefully wrapped her body in it. He really took his time with her, I couldn’t see a flaw on her body. Everything about her sat just right, how could someone in their right mind let this go?

“Let me make you feel better for a little while.”

I took a chance and moved the shower head directly between her thighs. Her eyes shot open and her hand moved on top of mine. Once I felt the warmth between her thighs there was no way I was moving my hand, my body wouldn’t allow it. It was almost intoxicating.

 “Naaass” her breath came out ragged and choppy as I started moving the shower head in a slow circular motion making sure the water flow was in direct contact with her clit at all times.

“Talk ta me, wassup babe?” I asked her, my eyes glued to her body watching  everything it was telling me do.

 “Shiiit” she gripped my hand like a vice. I saw lust, confusion and apprehension in her eyes as shit bit down on her bottom lip to stifle her voice.

“Tell me what you want,” I needed to hear her.

 As soon as my lips came into contact with warm, wet skin her head dropped back and a low, sultry moan involuntarily left her lips. And my dick instantly came to full attention.

I took my time kissing up her shoulder and chest taking the time to kiss in between her chest underneath her soft, plentiful breast before latching my mouth onto her nipple suckling it. You would have thought her breast was giving me some milk.

She gave in and her hand found the back of my head massaging my curls egging me on. I adjusted the shower head increasing the pace of my motions. Her grip of my hair instantly tightened and her moans got deeper when she felt the water flow intensify.

I kissed in between her breast making sure to leave my mark every place my lips met. I latched my lips onto her other nipple and instantly knew this was my favorite. It was a bit smaller than the other and fit perfectly in my mouth.

I let my tongue toy with the tip of her nipple making her squirm. Her legs began to twitch and she tried pulling my hand away.

“That’s that spot?” I asked her making my way up her collarbone. I felt her whole body begin to shake underneath me.

It was like her collarbone and clit were connected. The strong flow pumping out of the shower head and my lips licking off the water on her body became too much.

She caught me completely off guard when I felt her grip my head and bring my face to hers. When her soft, plump lips met mine, my mind went blank and my whole body became numb.

I recuperated and kissed her with all the need and want my body could produce. At this moment I needed her to need me, she matched my fervor and introduced her tongue to my mouth.

“Cum for me,” I said against her lips.

She shook her head no.

I smirked against her lips, “Pleease?” I coaxed letting my raspy voice draw out.

She shook her head no again. Trying to hold out on giving me what I wanted.

“Okay,” I simply said while adjusting the shower head to the highest setting. I pulled the hair at the nape of her neck and began to savor every inch of her mouth.

She was like putty in my hands once her orgasm finally hit her. Her hips began to roll and whine in the same motion of my hand. Her hips and my hand were in perfect synchronization working together to get her body to that peak.

 She tried to pull away, but I held her close feeling her shake and twitch in my arms succumbing to everything I was giving her.

 Once she came down from her high her whole body went limp in my arms, she would have teetered off the chair if my body weren’t here supporting her frame.

“You okay?” I softly asked her as I continued lightly kissing her body making sure that no part of her that I could kiss went unkissed while bringing the showerhead away from her now sensitive area.

She nodded her head then bringing her lips to mine. I don’t think I could ever get tired of this. Her lips fit mine perfectly and her mouth was sweet. A deadly combination, now I don’t think I can stop kissing her.

“Bae…let…me…wash…ya,” I said in between pecks to her lips.

She nodded, but didn’t move away and I laughed.

“I like your lips,” she finally said pulling away to let me continue washing her body.

“Yeah?” I said chuckling, “Well I like you.”

 I told her truthfully looking at her to make sure she heard and understood me clearly.

“Maybe, I like you too” she said shyly looking down, playing with her nails.

I laughed at how cute she could be. One minute she’s ready to box with tha god, the next she’s this shy, innocent beautiful person before me.

 “I can take that,” I said turning off the showerhead and preparing the towel for her.

 Gingerly patting her body dry, apply fresh bandages to her torso then wrapping towel around her head, “You ready?” I asked her before lifting her body into mine carrying into my room.

I felt her soft lips kissing my chest and neck.

Everywhere her lips touched the skin began to tingle it was addicting, exhilarating even.

 I laid her on her side and went to go get her night clothes when she reached to grab my hand, “No, I’m sleeping in just a towel tonight. I don’t feel like wearing clothes.”

 I nodded and kneeled on her side, ”Babe I’mma go hop in tha shower real quick, I know you haven’t been sleeping. Try and get some. I’ll be right back,” I said before kissing her forehead, cheek and finally lingering on her full lips.

"We can figure out everything else in the mornin'."

 “Okay,” she said tirelessly yawning.

Before I could even get out of the room I could hear her light snores behind me and I chuckled to myself as I turned off the light.

I walked into the kitchen to wrap up any leftovers and clear any dishes, but I kept hearing this annoying ass buzzin’ coming from the kitchen table. Dutch’s phone.

 I wasn’t trying to be nosey…okay; yeah I was trying to be nosey. When I saw the name “That Boy,” pop up I got curious. And it wasn’t like I was unlocking her phone because the message popped up clear as day on the screen. So TECHNICALLY this is fair game.

             From That Boy:

Hey, I had no idea tonight was going to turn out how it did. I’m really sorry if I added to any of the stress you’re already feeling. That wasn’t my intention. I was wondering if you wanted to meet up at Lotus Blue for lunch tomorrow? Chinese on me =).

-B 

I immediately put two and two together. That little fuck! Just when I thought the lil’ nigga was cool here he go trying to fuck my shit up. Now that I can’t have.

Ch. 4| I Got This

Aaron

Our Gabby’s House

2:06 p.m

“Smile for mommy Tori!” I heard Gabby say to Tori as she snapped a few photos with her phone while we waited for Trey to come out of his room. Hearing my baby laugh and giggle made me laugh with her. It’s infectious.

Looking at the smile on Gabby’s face as she took pictures of Tori warmed my heart. I haven’t seen that Gabby in a while.

“Daddy I’m ready!!” Trey yelled as he raced out of his room sneakers in tow “Can we go to the park now!” he said as he damn near ran out the front door.

“Aye where you going with no shoes on!” Gabby yelled as she laughed at his antics.

“Mommy I can put them on in the car! I don’t want to miss the ice cream truck!” he said as he hopped in the back seat and buckling his seat belt impatiently waiting for us to follow his lead.

“Daddy put me down!” Tori said trying to wiggle from grip.

“I wonder where they get that from” Gabby said mugging me as she grabbed a few snacks for the kids and her purse.

 “Shit me too!” I said while kissing Tori’s cheek then putting her down so she could run to the car to follow her brother’s lead.

Those two are attached at the hip being that she’s 3 and he’s 4 everything he does she has to do and she tries to do it better.

 My baby is gonna be something.

____

 “Watch out for your sister Trey!” Gabby yelled behind them as they both sped off to go play.

 And instantly the awkward silence slowly crept it’s way between us.  The ever too familiar awkward silence we’ve both grown to know very well.

 “So how have you been? I see that your business has taken off well” I said trying to make conversation and to take note of how well her company has taken off.

 She started her own hair product line about a year ago and business is booming. I remember when she was in the kitchen playing mixtress, using me and Nas as guinea pigs to test her products.

 “And I see you ain’t wearing your ring,” she said smugly without looking away from Tori playing on the swings.

I let out a deep sigh and ran my hand down my face seeing clearly where this is going.

 “Why you beating around the bush and pussyfootin’ around the real issue at hand?” she continued.

“Come on man, not today shit was going well until you had to come at my jugular,” I said getting irritated.

 “What’s her name Aaron?” she asked simply.

 “What?” my ears perked up because I don’t think I heard her clearly.

 “Nigga you heard me loud and clear. We’ve been married for 6 years and I been with you since I was 15, you think I don’t know the way you move?” she said looking at me like I was stupid.

 “You’re so predictable it’s sad and the fact that I keep falling for it makes me even more foolish and gullible than you to think you'd change” she said almost disgusted with herself.

 "The fact that you said “what” tells me there is someone else,” she said with tears brimming in her eyes, but her pride wouldn’t let them fall.

“I’m tired of this, you won,” she said defeated. I looked at her with furrowed brows.

 “I’m a good woman and I know that. All I asked you to do was not do me dirty, be loyal and hold me down like I’ve done for you all these years. But you couldn’t do that, you take and take and take, but at this point I have nothing left to give,” her voice shook as she spoke.

 She got quiet and looked at me, analyzing my face hoping that I wouldn't confirm her suspicion. I remained quiet knowing that if I said something it would only add fuel to the fire.  We stared at each other both trying to read each other, but for once I couldn’t.

 “I want a divorce,” she said after an eternity in a firm voice.

 I opened my mouth to speak Tori and Trey came racing over to us.

 “Mommy can we have some juice?” they said in unison and out of breath.

 Gabby put her mommy cape back on and handed them their juices as they sat in between us regaining their energy. So focused all her attention on them from that point forward completely ignoring me. Leaving me alone to my thoughts.

 A divorce?

 Is it that bad that she’d go that far?

 Did I push her that far that she’s ready to throw in the towel and throw everything away?

Naaaah.

Dutch

Nasir’s House

4:00 p.m.

“That’s foul son! You have 7 cars in your garage and I can't whip one for the night? Some brother you are,” Cheri said chuckling darkly.

I woke up to the heavy aroma of weed in the air and Cheri and Nas going at it in true sibling form.

“Damn” I mumbled to myself as I licked my lips causing Nas to turn his attention to me.

“You’re finally awake sleepin’ beauty,” he said walking over to me on the couch completely ignoring what his little sister was saying and came over to check on me.

“That’s foul Nas! Come on I had classes and work all week. I just want to  go out for a little while pleaaasssse” she pleaded and made him feel guilty at the same time.

We all know that Nas has a soft spot for his baby sis and she busses her ass every day with school and work. She really is a good girl.

She gave him a pair of doe eyes that made Bambi look like trash and he folded. 

Kissing his teeth,” Fine! And don’t go leaving none of your shit in my car” he said pointing to his car key rack, allowing her to chose any car she wanted for the night.

“Thank you!” she said gleefully and kissed his cheeks as he swatted her away.

 “Come on chill! I don’t want your ugly to rub off go sumwhere man!” he said wiping his face.

 “Boy please! I love you bye,” she as she grabbed the keys and ran out.

 “I spoil her,” he chuckled to himself as he shook his head.

 “She’s a good girl she deserves it,” I told him honestly as I shifted on the couch.

 He looked at me with an unreadable expression and put a stray hair behind my ear “yeah, she does,” he said. I knew that statement had an underlying meaning.

 “I bought you a new phone while you were sleeping I know your phone was finished after the accident,” he said pointing to the box sitting on the table in front of me.

 “You didn’t have to,” I said graciously “Nami could have gotten it for me.”

 As soon as I mentioned Nami he sucked his teeth and his jaw clenched. I know better than anyone that there’s bad blood between the two, but they’ve always been able to be cordial for the most part.

 “Can you not?” I asked him.

 He nodded his head and changed the subject, “AK stopped by with some food that Autumn cooked for you. He said he stopped by your place, but Nami wasn’t there so he figured you were here with me,” he stated smartly as he got up and walked into the kitchen I’m assuming to go heat up the food.

I nodded my head figuring Nami is out making runs, now that I’m out of commission everybody has been picking up double time to make up for my lack of work.

Turning on my new phone I see that I have missed calls, most from customers and a few from the crew.

Going through my text I noticed that I haven’t gotten one from Nami today. Something isn’t right I haven’t seen her since last night and she hasn’t shot a message asking if I’m good. 

To Panda:

Wassup where you at?

 I saw a few messages from the crew and two from an unknown number.

 From 1 646 XXX XXXX:

Hey?

From 1 646 XXX XXXX:

Is this Dutchess?

 I read the message and seriously pondered about who it could be, I’m not one to give out my number. Curiosity got the best of me and I replied,

To 1 646 XXX XXXX:

Who’s asking?

 No less than five seconds later the phone buzzed and tinged in my hand,

From 1 646 XXX XXXX:

My name is Beau Wade. I was in the car that hit her and I’d like speak with her.

I looked down at the phone like it was an alien. To be honest I haven’t though about the accident since I left the hospital because I just want to put it behind me and focus on healing. Reliving it put me in a dark place.

I felt it buzz in my hand twice breaking me from my dark thoughts.

From Panda:

 Hey baby, I’ve been making runs all day. A said Nas took the day off to look after you so I’m going to pick you up from his place later on tonight.

From 1 646 XXX XXXX:

 Dutchess? I’m so sorry for everything that happened. I know that you don’t know me and have no reason to believe me, but I really want to help you. I’d like to be there for you in anyway that I can.

 I read the messages and tossed my phone onto another couch. I didn’t want to be bothered with it for a while. Something about Nami’s text rubbed me the wrong way.

 “What you ova there thinkin’ bout so hard?” Nas said breaking me from my thoughts.

 The last thing I want to talk with him about is Nami, his opinions are too biased he never cared for Nami so I can’t expect to get just advice from him. For that I need AK or Autumn.

 “Nothing, but that food in your hand tho,” I said grinning and nodding my head over to the plate in his hand.

 “Chill chubbs I’m coming,” he said setting up trays for us, before going back to the kitchen to get the drinks.

 Being the greedy crumb snatcher that I am I tried to reach for the fork and get some pasta off the plate.

 “Ahh!” I moaned out in pain biting my bottom lip to stifle my moan hoping Nas didn’t hear me.

 “What you doing greedy?” Nas asked amused as he walked over setting the drinks down on the trays.

 “I got hungry,” I pouted like a little kid.

He chuckled as he sat down next to me, he began cutting up the chicken breast on my plate into strips then turned to me, “Let me help,” he said before feeding me the chicken and pasta. 

“Mmmm wait this don’t taste like Autumn’s food,” I said with a raised eyebrow. Yeah my girl Autumn could burn some pans, but not like this. This food had southern feel to it, this food was giving me the warmth that only food from the NOLA can give.

After coming down from the high the food was giving me I took note to the music playing.

“And you know this is my song,” I said mouthing the lyrics.

“You catch everything,” he chuckled and held the fork to my mouth waiting for me to open.

“I put ha food to the side. You eat her food all the time, I wanted to do something special and play chef for a while,” he said wiping pasta sauce from my bottom lip with is thumb before putting it in his mouth and licking it off.

“Did you forget who you dragged to The Roots concert because someone couldn’t make it,” he chuckled licking lips looking at me. He made a point to emphasize the someone in his statement.

 His lips never looked that good before. It’s like I’m seeing them for the first time and I can’t complain about what I see.

I giggled, “I’m not complaining, but you should have some too. It’s good,” I said in between bites and pointing to his untouched plate.

“Don’t worry about me I got this, now eat. I made peach cobbler and fresh ice cream for desert you keep talking and you gon’ miss out” he said before feeding himself from my plate to oblige my request.

“Wait, did you say you made ice cream?” My curiosity was piqued.

 “You ain’t know?” he said pausing to look at me “ya boy got skills in that kitchen baby!”

 “Keep talking like that and you might keep me for good, you know food is the way to my panties” I laughed at my self and slapped my hand over my mouth realized what slipped out my mouth.

“Nah bae I got other ways to get to those, and this is just something to get you wet. Give you a taste of what’s to come,” he said wiggling his eyebrows.

I couldn’t help, but throw my head back and laugh at his silliness. I rarely get a good laugh, but when I do his silly ass is the one to give it to me. 

“I like your laugh,” he said while studying my face and I instantly began to blush and feel a tingle in my loins from the look he was giving me.

 I looked away embarrassed and I didn’t need him to see my flushed face.

He chuckled and rose from the couch, “I’m gonna go check on the ice cream bae.”

Did this nigga just call me bae?

I Updated Late Last Night, Let's Converse

Nami....girl, the fuck? Now  I think she's dead ass wrong, but tell me how you guys feel? You think Autumn knew what was really up? Dutch and Nas? Chile what's going on there, that nigga is acting like he's catching feelings. Could he be or is he reading too much into it? You tell me, check out Ch.3 pts 1 & 2 below,

Ch. 3 Pt. 1 | Noncompliance

Ch. 3 Pt. 2| Disrespectful Compliance

Ch. 3 Pt. 2| Disrespectful Compliance

Nami

The Crib

10 p.m.

“Fuck you adding so much butter for Paula Deen, you trying to give her diabetes?!” I said while smacking Nas in the back of his head as he stirred some butter into Dutch’s mashed potatoes while he bumped his head to “Or Nah”.

“Can you lick the tip, then throw the dick or nah?” he sang ignoring me and it did something to me. As much as I can’t stand him he does have a voice.

“What I told you about putting hands on me?” he softly said while carefully placing the steak next to the mashed potatoes on her plate.

“I’ono nigga care to remind me?” I said with attitude as I put my hands on my thick hips. Just cause shit is rocky at the moment don’t mean I’m finna be nice to this nigga.

He smacked his teeth, “why you gotta have a attitude all the damn time? For once I’m trying to be nice to ya stupid ass and you gotta fuck it up,” he said with as much attitude as I gave him.

“Cause yous a BITCH!” I said as I grabbed a piece of broccoli off the plate and ran out laughing.

“And clean up my damn  kitchen fool!” I yelled behind me.

“Baby, Nas is coming with your plate now; Autumn if you want some you better go remind him cause you know that nigga is greedy and he will eat it all,” I told them as I finished my stolen piece of broccoli.

“You’re not eating with us?” Autumn asked; this bitch is too damn intuitive always picking up on shit.

“Nah I’m about to hop in the shower and make a run real quick. Since Aaron fucked up his hand he asked me to make a run for him, I won’t be gone long,” I told them turning to head to the bathroom.

“Cool, I’ll just tell Nas to wrap mine up and I’ll drive you over there. All of today’s excitement go me tired son, my bed and my man keeps calling me,” she giggled as she looked down at her phone obviously talking about AK.

“Iight bet” I said racing to the shower.

___

“Ready Autumn?” I said looking down and checking my outfit.  Watching them share a laugh while watching Bob’s Burgers made me feel a pang of guilt. I’m supposed to be laid up with my baby yet I’m finding an excuse to sneak away.

This shit has to stop.

“Autumn!” I barked at her out of frustration making her snap her head in my direction.

“What bitch! The show is almost over damn! You got some damn nerve coming in here rushing people,” she said with attitude.

“I don’t care I just want to go and come back,” I said bringing my tone down some; it’s not her fault I’m on edge.

She rolled her eyes, “fine” she huffed.

“Dutch I’ll be back tomorrow after I finish my drops, I’ll bring some lunch for you” she said as she kissed Dutch’s forehead and leaned over to give Nas a hug.

She grabbed her plate, “let’s go,” she finally said to me.

“Baby I’ll be back soon” I said leaning down to kiss Dutch as she nodded her head and reached over to mush Nas causing him to kiss his teeth.

___

“Thanks Autumn see you tomorrow,” I said hopping out of her whip and slamming the door before she could respond.

I’m here. Again. Why?

If I had to give you an honest answer as to why I’m here I couldn’t tell you. I began to contemplate with myself as I used my key to unlock his lobby door and make my way to his elevator. 

“You should be home with your girl, taking care of her. Nursing her back to health,” I told myself and rested my head against the elevator wall, letting out a deep sigh. 

“It’s not too late to turn back,” I told myself as the doors opened up on his floor. My feet had a mind of their own as they made their way to his apartment. I used my key and made my way in.

“Aaron!” I yelled as I took off my sneakers and made my way through his dark apartment.

“In here!” he yelled from his room. I opened his bedroom door to find him sprawled across his bed looking up at the ceiling fan spin.

“Is that my-”? 

“Thong, yeah it is” he completed my sentence without breaking his stare from the ceiling.

Turning his head and looking at me intently, “C'mere” he said with a thick country accent almost matching my own.

Dragging my feet I made my way to where he was, “what took you so long?” he innocently asked as he played with the drawstring on my sweats before he pulled it making them fall to my ankles.

“Duty calls wifey needed me” I chuckled running my fingers over his waves as he bent down to remove each leg from my sweats.

I felt him nod his head as he kissed up every inch of my exposed leg, alternating between the two before reaching up to take off my shirt tossing it somewhere.

“Lay down” he said in a husky voice as he reached to pull my thong down.

Once again, that same pang of guilt hit me. Here we go again, doing it again.

“Aaron we shoooooouuuu” was all that came out as he wrapped his plump, full lips around my clit cutting me off mid sentence as my fingers found their way to the back of his head holding him place.

“Aaahh!” I moaned as I felt his tongue trace around my opening before plunging his tongue inside.

Fuck it I’ll deal with myself later, this feels too good. My senses were heightened and my words began to slur, I gave in letting pleasure run its course.

Nas

Dutch’s Crib

11:45 p.m.

“I wonder what’s taking her so long,” Dutch said worried about Nami.

“Yeah” I said dryly. Not that I wish anything bad on Nami, but not having her here was peaceful. No yelling, screaming arguing or bickering just laughs and snacks with the big homie.

“She was supposed to help me shower and change my bandages,” Dutch said frustrated as she fidgeted with her fingers.

“I can help you,” I blurted out faster than I probably should have. After showing my ass at the hospital I figured I’d be on my best behavior and look out for her in anyway I can.

She side eyed the fuck outta me “eww nigga I don’t want you seeing me naked” she said making us both laugh.

“Nah on some real shit I don’t want your wounds getting infected and you know I’m not some creep nigga, I’d never do you like that,” I told her as I flipped through the channels.

I watched her weigh her options from the corner of my eye, she really looked torn “Iight nigga, but no funny shit. I’ll break your fucking fingers” she complied.

“Yeah whatever club feet” I said making her pout as I stood up and reached down to gingerly pick her up in my arms. She instantly laid her head on my chest as we made our way to her bathroom. This felt wrong, but so right at the same time.

I sat her down on the chair already sitting in the shower and putting my phone on the docking station letting Jhene Aiko’s soulful voice fill the bathroom. I know she’s a big fan.

“You okay?” I asked her as I helped her slowly taking off her shirt. Even with the bandages around her torso and the few scrapes on her face she’s beautiful.

“Mmhmm” she said biting her bottom lip as I helped her take off her baggy sweats, I knew she was hiding the pain she really felt.

I looked down at her full breast encased in her victoria secret bra and the lime green g-string. That ass though? Shit lime green just might be my new favorite color!  Focus nigga, I told my self as I helped her slip off her underwear and rest back on the seat comfortably. The last thing I need is hard dick poking her in the arm.

She worked on her bra, while I worked on unwrapping her bandages. Looking at her marred, broken ribs infuriated me as I absentmindedly ran my fingers over them causing her to wince, “sorry” I mumbled.

“The showerhead comes off, I need you to wash my hair too,” she nonchalantly told me, as if her fine ass wasn’t just sitting here butt bald.

“Iight,” I mumbled as I began to hose her body down with the showerhead. I used my free had to massage at her scalp causing her to moan and my dick to jump.

“That feels nice,” she said with her eyes closed in a husky voice, one I never heard before. Catching a glimpse to the other side of Dutch made me look at her differently. For as long as I’ve known Dutch she’s always been one of the homies, nothing more nothing less.

I’m starting to feel some type of way and I’m not sure I want to stop it.  Watching her tilt her head back and the water drip off her was fucking my head up. She isn't even doing anything and my mind is already gone.

I took my time rubbing the soap over her body savoring the time, hell this will probably be the only time she allows this.

 “You almost done? My back is getting cold and my ass hurts from this hard ass chair,” she huffed breaking me from a trance as I watched the shampoo run from her hair.

 “Uuh y-yeah” I stuttered as I turned off the running water and turning around to reach for her towels. Turning back and looking at a soaking wet Dutch made my already hard dick brick. The way the steam clung around her body made her look almost ethereal. I unconsciously bit my lip while looking at her.

 “I know I’m sexy, but nigga damn hurry up” she said while shivering and smirking at me, making me blush. Which is a first, clearly I’m pussy. Fuck I look like blushing? I chuckled and shook my head.

 I wrapped one towel around her head and the other lightly around her body as I lifted her and carried her to her bedroom.

___

 “Nas call her again, please” Dutch almost begged me to try Nami’s phone again. At one point it actually rang, but she’s been sending me straight voicemail.

 I helped her get dressed and put some deep conditioner in her hair, we’ve been watching The Golden Girls on Netflix ever since. Only fucking Dutch could get me to sit and watch The Golden Girls, only her.

 “Dutch we tried her phone almost 10 times! She’s obviously ignoring it,” I told her as I played with the hem of her t-shirt. I find myself finding any excuse to touch her.

 “But it’s 3 a.m. where could she be?” she said in a sleepy voice as she rested her head on my shoulder. I could tell she was trying to fight sleep until Nami came home, but it doesn’t look like she plans on bringing her ass home anytime soon.

 “I don’t know Dutch, but your body needs rest and a nigga is tired. I’m finna go home and get in my own bed,” I told her before my body got too tired.

 I watched her begin to pout as I stood up, “I don’t wanna be alone, take me with you” she said lowly as she nervously played with the hem of her t-shirt.

I didn’t have to think twice, I scooped her in my arms, “you need anything from your room?” she shook her head no and we left without bothering to looking back.

 I felt the need and the urge to keep her close. Feeling her warm body lying on my chest felt right and I can’t say I mind feeling it more often. Before we reached the car she was passed out in my arms, I smiled and kissed her forehead.

 I gingerly laid her across my back seat and made my way to the driver’s side. I saw Nami hop out of a black jeep that looked like that nigga A’s and limp her ass to the building.

 I know that limp, that’s that good dick down limp.  I’ve left a couple bitches with that limp as a parting gift.

 Sneaky bitch.

 Any thoughts I had about taking Dutch back upstairs completely faded from my mind as I peeled away from the curb, purposely honking my horn and saluting at her causing her to jump and look back wide eyed. She knows she’s caught, but I wanna make her squirm a little before I blow her shit up.

 All the years of putting up with her bullshit makes it that much sweeter. The only person I don’t want to see hurt is Dutch, but I’m not sure how long I can avoid that.

 Looking at the startled look on her face confirmed all my suspicions.  That’s foul and if she’s creeping with who I think she is then she definitely ain’t shit.

Ch. 2 | Rude Awakening

Nasir

Mount Sinai Hospital

7: 40 a.m.

Nami’s words rang through my ears like bells going off at a carnival. “He was in the car that hit Dutch,” kept playing in my mind over and over like a broken record. Watching him sitting there stroking her hand like he had the right to even touch her made me see red. Dutch is like a sister to me, blood couldn’t make us any closer so to have someone hurt her in this way was enough, but to see the nigga sitting there so calm like he belonged there did something to me. This nigga got some balls.  The savage in me was itching to come out.

“Relax nigga, chill,” I mentally told myself “we gone get that nigga soon.”

Nami walked over to Dutch’s left side and pulled up the seat next to her and sat staring up him. I saw so many emotions on her face, but her eyes told me that she was going through so much turmoil and was agitated by his presence. She had so much hate brewing in her right na and I could tell she was ready to snap. That bothered me because I’m the only one that’s allowed to get under her skin like that.

 Autumn didn’t know what to do so she cautiously walked over to Nami standing by her side. As soon as she laid eyes on Dutch and got a good look at her injuries she couldn’t hold back tears. Autumn wasn’t the type to cry so to see her just break down and sob uncontrollably almost broke me. My fam is hurtin’ right na and there’s nothing I can do to fix it. Nami pulled her down into her lap and craddled her.

“I promise you, we’re gonna get through this Autumn. You know my baby is strong! No little car crash is gonna keep her down,” Nami said while rubbing circles on her back. She said it trying to convince Autumn everything was going to be fine, but it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself something she didn’t even believe damn self.

 Like me, this nigga A didn’t budge from the doorway. He looked ready to rip this nigga apart piece-by-piece, limb from limb if he don’t make his way up outta here.

“Yo why the fuck is you still sittin’ here fuh!! You up in this bitch like you family or sumn,” I barked letting my anger get the best of me. He was too calm for me.

He looked around the room analyzing all the emotions on the faces of everyone in the room and looked directly at Nami, they nodded their heads at each other before he rose from the seat walking towards A and I to leave. Fuck was dat?  

Now we’re face to face and to be quite honest I don’t like the way this nigga is looking at me. His bitchass got my sister laid up in a fucking hospital bed while he’s walking the fuck around without a scratch on him lookin’ all sorry in the face and shit? Naaah son. This nigga A beat me to the punch, literally.

All I saw was a slender brown arm coming past the left side of my face quick as shit, catching him right in the right eye causing him to stumble back. Before he had a chance to recover or get his footing right I swung with as much force as I have connecting with his jaw. Watching the blood begin to flow from his mouth excited me, I instantly became giddy.

I was so busy kicking and stomping until I heard something crunch that I didn’t feel Autumn pulling me by my arm with all her strength.

“NASIR!! STOP PLEASE! YOU”RE GONNA KILL HIM!!” she screamed and cried as she kept trying to pull off him she watched the pristine white tiles of the hospital floor now covered blood red.

“Fuck’em,” I said simply through gritted teeth coldly as I continued my torrent of kicks into his side.

6 big burly ass hospital security guards came in and literally had to drag A and me off this nigga because now that we started letting up wasn’t happening. I wanted him to feel everything Dutch was feeling, hell I’m sure they could find him a bed up in this bitch once I’m done with him. He lucky this big nigga is pulling me off. They got A off much easier than they did me, one minute he was kicking and throwing blows the next he abruptly stopped, but I was too in my zone to peep what he peeped.

As they dragged us out I saw a Dr. followed by a nurse quickly rushing in to come take care of his bitchass. That brought a smile to my face knowing that he too would feel pain, but the smile I had was instantly wiped away when I saw Nami in frantic tears and holding a now very much awake Dutchess she too had streaming from her eyes, her sad, weak, tired eyes. She looked like she wanted to say something, but was too weak to say anything. I didn’t mean for her to wake up this way man. 

“FUUUUCKK!!” was all I could say as they finally yanked me out.

Boogz

Mount Sinai Hospital

8: 25 a.m.

“Yo B what the fuck happened last night dawg?” Jay asked me yet again, but I couldn’t give him an answer. More than likely because I really couldn’t remember shit and I wanted so badly to remember.

It wasn’t like I was trying to block out the events of the night because I was ashamed by my actions or just trying to forget it, but I really couldn’t remember. I’m drawing a complete blank as I looked at Jay with confused eyes and all he could do was shake his head at me with shame and disgust.

“Fuck you lookin’ confused fuh? Nigga you betta remember something and fast; you almost killed two fucking people man!” He said exasperated, completely annoyed with me. Seeing the bro so heated with me told me I fucked up bad.

“Deadass?” I said with wide eyes dumbfounded.

“You really don’t remember shit from last night?” Jay was supposed to come chill with us last night, but took some overnight hours at his job instead so he cancelled last minute. I remember that much, but once I started drinking shit got fuzzy.

“Wow” he scoffed and shook his head. “How fucking dense can you be?” his words came at me like daggers.

“Fuck, nigga chill!” I said getting heated, he’s not about to make me feel guilty for some shit I don’t remember and probably isn’t even that bad.

“No, nigga you need to chill. You almost killed your best friend and an innocent cyclist. Two innocent fucking people caught up in your drunken fuck shit and you want me to calm down?” he said fuming. “Nigga you got shit all fucked up and you’re selfish as fuck son,” he said truthfully.

Just as he was continuing his rant two male nurses followed by a Dr. brought a body in and laid it down on the empty bed in my room. That nigga was fucked up from what I could see he had a black eye, his face was swollen and had bandages wrapped around his torso.

“Beau?” Jay blurted out as we studied the man’s bruised face from a distance.

“Mmmm” he groaned from his bed.

“The fuck happened to you!?” He said rushing over to his bedside. Bad enough I had trouble getting out of my own bed with one broken arm, but this fucking hospital gown keeps opening up in the back giving my cheeks way too much exposure. This nigga Jay paid no attention to my plight though.

“…Water,’ Beau mumbled out from a dry throat as Jay quickly complied with his request. His eye was swollen shut so he had to rely on his hearing to know exactly where Jay was.

Once he finally found his voice, “ I got jumped” he said solemly.

“BY WHO?!” Jay and I said at the same time. Even with one broken arm I’m down for whatever.

“The girl you hit last night, her bros fucked me up,” He said with anger undeniable in his voice.

“I hit a girl?” I asked shocked and confused.

Even with his eye-swollen shut he gave me that “Nigga are you deadass?” look. “Yeah both her legs are broken along with four broken ribs,” he said. 

“Damn” Jay and I both said. I could feel him burning a hole in my face, but I did my best to ignore him. I wasn’t about to let him guilt trip me.

“Glad to see you’re finally awake” a Dr. said to me as he came back into the room making us all turn our attention to him. “Riley do you know how fast you were driving last night?” he asked me cautiously as if he was trying to evaluate me.

“To be quite honest Doc I don’t remember shit from last night,” I told him honestly and heard Jay scoff. “It’s not that I’m not trying to remember, but I can’t for the life of me figured out what happened,” I told him frustrated.

“90 mph is how fast you were going. You’re all quite lucky to be alive,” he paused “I thought this might happen, you’re showing all the signs of transient amnesia,” the Dr. told me.

“Amnesia?” we all said in unison.

“Yes, amnesia. Transient amnesia is a sudden and temporary memory loss your recollection of recent events simply vanishes, you often won’t remember where you are or how you got there. You may also draw a blank when asked to remember things that happened a day, a month or even a year ago. You will remember who you are, and recognize the people you know well, only time will tell how long this will last” the Dr. told us fully breaking it down.

I sat back on my bed and ran my hand down my face.

“Your arm should be healed in about 6-8 weeks and I’ll be scheduling regular check up with you in the next weeks to come,” he continued.

“As for you” he turned his attention to Beau “Do you see why I don’t give out personal information?” he said mugging and taunting him.

“Man whatever,” Beau mumbled kissing his teeth under his breath.

Shaking his head at him “You’ll be here for a couple of days just so I can run some test on your vitals. You’re suffering from a cracked eye socket, dislocated jaw and a broken rib, but you should make a full recovery over the next few months. I’ll have a nurse bring up some pain medication for the both of you. You’re both very lucky,” the Dr. said turning to walk out.

“Why is that?” I blurted out unconsciously.

“Because the victim dropped all legal charges against the both of you,” he said smugly before turning to walking out. Hatin’ ass nigga.

I was stunned, ashamed and grateful. All I wanted to do was remember, but fuck I can’t. So many thoughts were running through my mind, what have I done, how did it get this far?

“Yo Beau you know what room she in?” I asked without looking at him.

He nodded his head and I could tell by the look in his eyes that even with the extent of his injuries he was willing to take the risk and go back to see her.

Somehow I had to find a way to make this right, but first I need to remember how it happened.

  Dutchess

Mount Sinai Hospital

7:55 a.m.

 “Yo why the fuck is you still sittin’ here fuh!! You up in this bitch like you family or sumn,” I could hear Nas’ loud ass voice bark at someone in the distance.

Why was this nigga always so damn angry? I swear he has no home training. It’s too early for his shit I really want to just lay here and relax for a bit longer before I had to get up and get my day started. He knows that I can’t put up with his bullshit unless I’ve had my morning coffee, AT LEAST. How the fuck did he even get in my house? I know damn well Nami’s rude ass didn’t let him in so how did he get his high yella ass in here.

 I groaned as I tried to move my body, but instantly felt sharp pains stabbing me all over my body. So much so that I couldn’t move without feeling tears stream down my face. Everything hurt so bad, I felt, as if I was being set on fire from the inside it hurt so bad.

 I felt my bed constantly being shifted and shaken violently which cause my eyes to shoot open. “Mmmm” I groaned as my tears continued to fall.

“Oh my God baby?! You up!” Nami said gingerly cupping my face as her tears began to fall. I hate seeing her cry, I tried to reach up to wipe them away, but I felt pain shoot through every part of my body as I tried to move. The pain was so strong I couldn’t stop whimpering. I had something wrapped tightly around my torso, feeling suffocated I struggled to breath properly.

“No, babe not yet don’t move you’re going to hurt yourself,” she said pecking my dry lips over and over.

“NASIR!! STOP PLEASE! YOU”RE GONNA KILL HIM!!” I heard Autumn frantically crying and yelling trying to pull Nas away. He and this nigga A were in a frenzied rage sending kicks at something or rather someone. Aaron looked up for a split second and completely halted in his movements when he saw that my eyes were focused on him.

“Dutch!” he said in a wide eyed whisper as a few big ass security guards came in a yanked him out before I had a chance to respond. It took a bit more effort to get Nas off the person though. The security guards that dragged Aaron out out into the hallway rushed right back in to get Nasir off cause the three that were trying at the moment just weren’t cutting it. His little strong, skinny ass was putting in work. As he was about to lift his foot to kick again he heard Nami’s sniffles and broke from his trance. When he finally saw me awake he didn’t know what to do or say.

In that split second the security guards quickly hauled his ass out the room.

“FUUUUCKK!!” I heard him yell on the way out.  Nami brought my face into her chest so I’d be shielded from seeing the target of their aggression.

“It’s okay baby, it’s okay” she said as she massaged my head. Once the he had been removed I was met with Autumn’s puffy red eyes looking at me.

“Dutch” she whispered, but was afraid to move from her spot or touch me. I patted the right side of my bed for her to come sit down and the left side for Nami to sit. The both gingerly sat down on the bed, Nami taking it a step further and laying next to me. Once Autumn saw that I wouldn’t break from the excess weight on the bed she too laid next to me.

Eventually I heard light snores coming from each side of the bed and could finally breath a sigh of relief. I can’t even image the type of morning they’ve had. It took a minute for me to realize I was laid up in a hospital bed, but at least I’m breathing.

Nami gingerly put her lithe arm around my torso making sure not to make any sudden moves to cause me anymore pain “I thought I lost you Dutch” she said lowly.

“I’m not going anywhere Nami, I’m right baby. Get some sleep,” I told her lovingly, I desperately wanted to touch her face, but it hurt too bad if I tried.

I sighed loudly “Fuck is going on?” I asked myself.

Ch. 1| Nigga Who You?

Nami

Mount Sinai Hospital

 6:20 a.m.

“Miss please, slow down” I heard the nurse frantically saying behind me as she hustled to keep up with me, but she could miss me with that. All I needed to know was where my baby was I didn’t need her assistance in finding her.

“429…” I mumbled to myself as I power walked past other rooms trying to get to the one Dutch was in.

“430…”

“432!” I finally reached it, but I couldn’t bring myself to go in. My emotions got the best of me; I was just on the phone with her. My night wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. I was supposed to cuddled up with my baby watching Sophia shade Blanche for filth while feeding my baby cheesecake. Maybe pass a blunt or two just between us. Instead I’m trying to wrap my mind around how Dutch just got out of surgery and now has two broken legs and four broken ribs. Her doctor said her surgery was a success, but she barely escaped the grips of death. Wearing her helmet, kneepads and arms guards helped more than he could express. He said she’s sleeping and could be out for hours or days only time could tell me when her healing process actually begins.

“Are you going to go in?” The nurse asked curtly with an attitude from behind me still trying to catch her breath.

“Bitch don’t you have some patients to tend to? Fuck you all in mines fuh?” I snapped back.

She rolled her eyes and mumbled something to herself as she walked away. Any other time I wouldn’t hesitate to buss a hospital tray over her head, but I had more pressing matters to deal with. That ass whoopin’ would have to wait. I took a deep breath and walked in. I saw other figures in the room, but my focused zeroed in on Dutch in the middle of the room on the hospital bed.  I pushed past the figure on her right and delicately touched her cut and bruised face. I didn’t want to cry because I wasn’t alone, but seeing something of mine look so frail and broken tore me to my soul. My grief is mine and mine alone so shedding tears with others around wasn’t an option. Her smooth chocolate skin now scraped and the stitches on her eyebrow made me angry. I couldn’t see her lower half because she was tucked so neatly in the bed, but I don’t think I’m ready to face that just now. 

I finally looked up and saw two detectives looking at me with eyes full of concern and inquiry. I could tell they were detectives by the suits they wore, no need for a badge to be flashed a man’s suit says a lot about his character. The other man in the room had a caramel complexion and a few bruises and scratches on his face. He looked at me with so much guilt and regret, I could tell he wanted badly to avert his eyes from my stare, but he didn’t dare. I instantly had a gut feeling that he had something to do with this.

“Excuse me ma’am, but what’s your relationship to the victim?” One of the detectives asked.

“Out of respect for the “victim”,” I said in air quotes mocking him “why don’t you step out and not return until she’s awake.” I said dismissing him and his question, turning my attention back to the man in the room.

Taken aback by my straight forwardness, him and his partner walked away with their tails between their legs back out the door from which they came.

I had so many questions to ask him, but I couldn’t think of the first.

“How did this happen?” I finally asked breaking the awkward silence.

He took a deep breath and his deep voice broke as he started to talk. He stopped and looked at the ceiling as he tried to compose himself.

“I let my mans Riley drive my new whip and shit got outta hand” he began “he was drinking before we linked up. Had I known he was drinking prior to him getting behind the wheel of my shit I would have never allowed it. He’s been going through shit lately, but to be honest I didn’t think it was deep enough for his to keep a bottle on him and try to sip even when behind the wheel. He had no regard for my life or his, I’ve never seen a look like that in his eyes before.” He stopped and looked at me he was truly perplexed about what occurred tonight.

I took in what he said and my blood began to boil “What’s your name?” I spat with venom. It as if he was trying to shift blame to his mans without accepting responsibilities for his wrong doings in the situation. It ain’t hard to tell when somebody’s been drinking, why would you even put yourself in that predicament. Something in the water ain’t clean I just didn’t have all the facts yet. 

He instantly felt the mood shift “Beau Wade” he said, his voice with much more strength than it had before.

“Well Beau I don’t like you and you better hope Dutch fully recovers from this if not I got a bullet for you and I got one for your mans too.” I said calmly and coolly looking in square in the eyes. I’m deadass. I needed him to know where I stood from the beginning we will never be cool and could never become friends. He’s irresponsible and dingy as hell. I could never see myself forgiving him for not only putting Dutchess’ life in the cross hairs of death, but his own and the driver. 

He looked at me and smirked like he knew something that I didn’t and it irked me. Just as I was about to swing on his butter pecan lookin’ ass for being a smartass the Dr. walked in.

“Hi, I was just coming in to check on Ms. Blake’s vitals and see how she’s adjusting.” He came in walking around me checking her all beeping machines, seeing her with a tube in her mouth crushed me and reinforced the hate that I felt for this man sitting inches from me. Aside from the few scratches and bruises on him he looked perfectly fine nothing a little ice couldn’t fix, he had some dried blood on his shirt from his wounds, but a fresh t-shirt could fix that too. Here he was sitting up and breathing perfectly fine while my baby is laid up in that bed helpless. As bad as I wanted to swing on his toffee colored ass I had to be strong and keep my composure for Dutch. I’ll have plenty of time to beat that ass, he ain’t going nowhere I reminded myself with certainty.

“I’m going to go down and grab some coffee,” I said aloud not particularly to anyone just to let them know I’ll be back in no time so don’t try no funny shit.

“And you,” I turned back directing my attention back to Beau, fuck kind of name is Beau anyway I thought to myself “don’t even think about going anywhere” I said sternly.

He surprised me when replied back, “I don’t plan on leaving her side,” he said while looking back at Dutchess, resting so peacefully in the bed next to him. I saw regret and longing in his eyes when he looked at her. When said he wasn’t leaving her side he meant just that. The way he said it didn’t sit well with me but I shook it off and proceeded to head out to Dunkin Donuts down the block.

As soon as I made my way downstairs I reached in my purse and took out my phone, lighter and pre-rolled joint. I unlocked my phone and searched for Autumn’s number as I lit my joint and proceeded to walk to the store.

After three rings she finally answered “Yo” she said groggily “we making drops earlier today?” she said already in work mode, I could hear her shuffling on the other end which meant she was ready to hop out the bed and go if need be. That made me smile; my team was always bout getting to that paper.

“No” I said taking a long drag from my joint letting it hit me. God knows I need to feel something because since I’ve seen Dutch lying motionless in that stale ass hospital bed I’ve been void of all emotions except anger and blind rage.

“Dutch got hit by a drunk driver last night, she’s at Mount Sinai” I said venom lacing my voice thinking about her being there. 

“Oh my god! I’m on my way,” she said frantically.

“Aight ma, I’ll be waiting out in front for you,” I told her as I hung up and finished my J stepping on the clip with my timb just as I walked up to Dunkin Donuts. Now I’m high and hungry as fuck, bout to get one of everything on the menu like a true fat nigga would.

  Beau

4:45 a.m.

My eyes fluttered open and I slowly took in my surroundings, the piercingly bright lights, pristine white walls and the constant bustle just outside the oak door confirmed my suspicion. I’m in the hospital, last night really did happen. As bad as I wanted this to be a bad dream this shit was real I’m still dumbfounded as to how it even happened in the first place.

“Oh good your awake” the Dr. said as he walked into my room.

“How long have I been out?” I asked groggily my voice coming out more hoarse than I expected.

“Not long and lucky for you have minor injuries just some scrapes and bruises that’ll be gone in weeks to come you can, whenever you get your things in order I have the forms here for you to sign so you can checkout” he said.

“Cool cool, how’s Riley?” I blurted out anxiously.

“He’s got a broken arm and a few scratches, but he’ll make a full recovery. He’s currently sleeping off the alcohol in his system, but when he wakes you can head down the hall to see him.” He turned to walk out, but turned back and looked at me with an unreadable face. I instantly thought back to the night events and it hit me. I closed my eyes and asked, “Did he hit something?”

“Someone, he hit someone. A young woman” He said solemnly.

My heart sank not only did Boogz’s reckless ass put my life and his in danger, but he put an innocent life in the mix. “Is she…?” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence. If she was dead I couldn’t live with myself. How could I let this shit get so out of hand? I mentally kicked myself.

“No, by the grace of God she pulled through her surgery and it looks as if she’ll make a full recovery,” his voice began to trail “but at the current moment she is suffering from two broken legs and four broken ribs.”

 I cringed as he finished telling me the extent of her injuries, shorty was fucked up and the fact that I was partly to blame for it, it ate at me slowly.

“Can I see her?” I asked with urgency.

“I’m not allowed to release her information to you,” he huffed; fuck all that he was giving up that info.

“I didn’t ask you all that, can I see her now, please.” I said with assertiveness. I wasn’t taking no for any answer and he could tell by my tone that my mind was set on seeing her. He could help me or I could tear this bitch a part brick by brick until I find her. I don’t have time for his bullshit ethics or politics I had to see her and he was going to take me me. From the time he told me she existed I was drawn to her.

He let out an exasperated sigh “Let’s go.”

___

“Just be quiet she’s sleeping and needs as much rest as possible” he said smugly before nodding me in the direction of her room and continuing on to the rest of his shift. I heeded his words as I slowly made my way.

My eyes were met with the sight of a fairly slim, brown skin woman with monitors beeping around her and the loud sound of her breathing with the respirator tube. I instantly felt like the shit I am for helping her get there.

“I’m so sorry” I whispered to her as I made my way closer to her side. Even with the minor scrapes on her face she was flawless. I mean drop dead gorgeous and it made me a little uncomfortable. Why is she so damn pretty though? Her layered hair fanned out around her, some of it framing her face while other waves flowed out on her pillow. Her skin had a glow to it even with the given circumstance. I wanted to badly touch her bruised bottom lip and make it disappear, her lips are too juicy to have a flaw on them.  I don’t know what brought it about, but I couldn’t stop myself from reaching down and touching her face. I used my thumb to lightly trace her bottom lip and some of the scratches on her face.

“You might not be able to hear me, but in the event you can just know I’m not going anywhere.  I promise you that I’ll be with you every step of this recovery process. Riley and I both, I’ll be there when you hate me, when you don’t like me, and when you don’t want to even look at me I'll still be here. I can’t allow myself to allow you to go through this without me. When times get to an all time low, I’ll be there.” I said while absentmindedly stroking her cheek. I felt her stir under my touch and instantly drew my hand back hoping she would wake up, but to no avail.

Instead I pulled up the seat next to her and held her hand. I began talking to her; it was like I had word vomit and talking to her was the only medication I could take to cure it, even if the conversation was one sided at the moment.

I heard a knock on the door indicating our little heart to heart moment was over. More like our heart to heart hour and a half. Somehow I knew we wouldn’t have many more moments alone anytime soon especially since one of the nurses said she got in contact with someone from Dutchess’ family.

  Autumn 

7:00 a.m.

I had no time to think or process what I had been told by Nami. How could this happen? Rolling out of bed hustling to the bathroom with my phone still in hand. I told Siri to call Nas while I started brushing my teeth, but he sent me straight to voicemail. Now was not the time for this nigga to want to act up. I knew he wasn’t a morning person, but fuck all that I dialed him again.

“Fuck you calling me so early fuh?” He said answering the phone in a huff on the second ring, his country twang mixed with sleep and animosity made me chuckle.

“Fuck is so funny?” he said getting agitated “You called me to play games or you calling me bout a job?” He said turning his attention straight to business.

“No I’m calling you to tell you that I’ll be outside in 10 mins we’re going to the hospital,” I said as calmly as I could, but internally my nerves are all over the place.

“The hospital?” He spoke confused.

“Yeah, Dutch got hit by a drunk driver last night and shit is bad. Nami is already there, she sounds hella stressed son.” I said cutting him off.

“Say no more imma tell this nigga A to meet me at the crib and we’ll all go together” he said breathlessly, I could hear him already hopping out of bed.

“Bet” I said hanging up the phone as I ran through my room like a tornado grabbing everything I needed and shoving it into my bag. I have not a clue as to how long we’ll be at the hospital so I had to be prepared. I grabbed a blunt from my top drawer and put it in my mouth as I grabbed my bag, shut off the light and headed downstairs. Normally I’d just hop on my bike, but with everything going on I felt that taking out one of my whips was necessary.

After choosing one I hopped in and peeled out of my garage to pick up Nas and A.

___

 “We got here as soon as we could Nami,” I said as we approached her while she was fucking her bacon, egg and cheese up. High ass nigga.

“Damn fat nigga you gon’ share some or you just gon’ stuff your face?” Nas asked while reaching for her bag of food being the greedy nigga he is.

Instead of arguing with him or snapping at him Nami surprised us all by allowing him access to her food. Nami didn’t play around with her food so the fact that she didn’t black on him for even making an attempt at her food meant that shit was intense.

All she did was grab her cup of coffee since Nas’ greedy ass passed the rest of the food to Aaron and turned inside the hospital leading the way to Dutch. Any other time Nami would have cussed me out and called me every name in the book for telling Nas and telling him to come with me, but I didn’t know whom else to call. The two of them can fight like cats and dogs, I’ve even seen them go blow for blow on a few occasions, but for the life of me I couldn’t put my finger on what brought about the anger between them. He and Aaron really care about Dutch and wouldn’t wish any harm to come to her not to mention we’ve all worked side by side for the past 4 years how could I not tell them?

“How bad is it?” Aaron asked Nami while stuffing his mouth full of her sausage, egg white and cheese flatbread as the elevator dinged signaling that we had reached our destination.

“4 broken ribs and two broken legs” she sighed as I gasped.

“So that means she can’t ride any more?” Nas asked thoroughly concerned while wiping crumbs away from his mouth. This shit can’t be happening.

Nami looked at the floor fighting tears as she nodded her head. I instantly put my arms around her as she continued to lead the way. “Looks that way,” she finally said.

“Don’t let this get you down Nami we’re here and we’re going get through this together,” Aaron said with so much compassion and assurance, but I could see the fire in his eyes clear as day. He was pissed. Shit I would be too; Dutchess is his best worker even though she didn’t really work for him. Neither did we, we had a mutually beneficial understanding. He and Dutch came up with the idea to have a delivery service, anything someone needs delivered we do just that. 

On a strictly confidential basis no one actually knows what they’re delivering until you get it from the client. From that point the anonymity of what’s in the package stays between the client and the deliverer. I know I’ve personally delivered damn near everything from narcotics to precious gems to top of the line sports car.  So I can only image the type of shit Dutch delivers because she’s the best at what she does. People will pay top dollar to have their shit delivered and if it’s done properly in a discreet manner you can guarantee they’ll keep coming back. Our circle is tight, but it’s for the best, bread can only be broken so many ways.

Walking into Dutch’s room I saw a light skinned man sitting by the side of her bed holding her hand completely oblivious to our presence in the room. All his attention was focused on Dutch as he ran him thumb over the back of her hand with care.

“Nigga who you?” Nas said being the rude nigga that he is finally letting our presence be known, but asking what we all wanted to know. His head snapped in our direction, but the hold he had on Dutch’s hand didn’t slack nor did the stroking of his thumb against the back of her hand.  

“Oh that’s Beau” Nami said emphasizing his name chuckling bitterly as she sipped from the cup of coffee in her hand before he could open his mouth “he was in the car that hit Dutch.” The air in the room instantly got thick and all eyes were fixed on him. I knew shit was about to hit the fan.

I literally love this girl so much 💗