enchantingwarriorprincess
Loweena Gonasegaran đ đ ë°Šíěë ë¨ ě미 đ đ đ đđŠđđ¤đĽ đ
225 posts
Latest Posts by enchantingwarriorprincess
You never know how strong you a until being strong is your only option âĄ
That was the strongest version of myself. This isn't the first time I was put in such as a situation. But this is the very first time I have braved myself to stand up and face it.
Because I was scared. I was scared of the answer I might be hearing. The thoughts as 'what if the problem was with me?' 'What if I have offended them with my words or actions', 'if more than two person are doing the same thing to me, then the problem must be really with me right?' All these thoughts stopped me from asking the all those questions I wanted to ask that many people. Because I didn't want to hear that I didn't gave my all into that friendship.
But, why do I have to cry over someone who stopped the friendship because her mother said so, someone who stopped the friendship following her friend, someone who stopped the friendship to move into better school and have better friends, someone who stopped the friendship for no fucking reason or because I chose to do a simpler question, someone who stopped the friendship because I wasn't up to their standard, someone who stopped the friendship because I was quiet.
Is that my fault you chose to be selfish and when you fail to understand everyone is different?
I gave you my all I our friendship. I laughed with me when you were happy, I was sad when you were crying, I was listening to you when you had problem, I said yes when you needed an help, I supposed you against my mom, i said just so you won't be sad.
i did things I am not okay with just because you said it would be fun, I wanted to make memories with you.
I came out of comfort just so I can be with you. Because we were friends.
But the prize I received in the end was to cry my eyes out every night.
All those days I cried to God asking why i couldn't have even one friend, am I that bad of a person, I forgot to thank him for removing undeserving people from my life. All the tears I dropped wondering why I am living such a lonely and cursed life, I forgot to realise that it was the better life than living not as yourself for the satisfaction of others.
I finally realised it today, a friend would never turn their backs on you for a simple mistake you made. And I don't need such friends too. Who expect me to change myself for them. Because I am never going to change myself. For a third person.
You don't leave a friend because you don't like the mistake she was making. Instead you correct each other and grow together.
May everything be fine in the end đ¤đ
It was intended. I did intentionally, with my sane mind I chose to stay in my home three more days. Do I regret it? NO. Never. I'm so glad that I was brave enough to make that decision. For someone who have no friend and had to spend every time inside four walls so far away from my comfort place, choosing to stay in that protection and familiarity of my home, never felt wrong. If the price I had to pay for that is missing out on an one-hour class, forty-five minutes of nagging, anger and frustration being thrown at my face or even bringing forth my childhood trauma that I try so hard to overcome, I am ready to accept that. Even if I do went back in time, I would still choose to do the same thing, perhaps in a different way but I would do it again.
I do not at all regret my decision. Not even a single percent. Not once at any point, I thought that perhaps I shouldn't have stayed longer. NO. I was safe and happy while being home. I slept well and ate well. I would never exchange it for anything. And no one has to understand this too. I chose myself and I don't have any regret for doing so. That's all matters.
A lollipop would make it perfect đ
I just have one wish for my birthday this year. I do not want to cry. It's fine if no one celebrates me or give me surprises. It's perfectly fine even if no one wishes me. Please don't be sad about those things dear self. You have me to celebrate you and make you feel happy. We don't need someone else to do it for us. So, please don't cry on the day you'll be turning 22. Please don't :)
Pain on one side and joy on the other
I regret the time I spent thinking that studying is everything. I regret for thinking that any hobby is a just a waste of time. I should have had a hobby. I regret all the time I used only to study for nothing but to get myself stressed and depressed in the end. I wish I could go back.
Don't cry please don't cry it's not your fault it's no one's fault please don't cry we'll be fine
So the club I am part of is planning on doing some projects and they're apparently looking for program director to lead the programs. I would like to apply myself for the position but I am so scared of doing it. Because of some not good events from my past, I could seem to bring myself forward for any kind of events. I am scared that I'm going to be lost with no help or get myself stressed while working on the project. What if I really got lost without any help? What if I fail to finish the project and embarrass my advisor too? These questions are torturing me. I don't think I can ever stand my lecturer or my educator looking at me with that humiliating face as if I'm useless one more time. I don't even have any friends or just anyone to rely on. I really really wish to overcome this fear of mine. But it's too hard to do it. It's very scary despite my desire. What should I do?
Life would have been perfect had only I have gotten the forensic science degree as I wished.
Sometimes you fear without knowing what you are actually fearing for
I just lost my more than a decade worth of memories. Every picture taken on an ordinary day or on special occasions to remember the moments, photos of me with those I will never have a chance to take another one with, every video taken and created, every document and notes that helped me with my studies, from random downloads to important information, everything is gone. Just like that. What I wanted to keep safe with me forever, what I always afraid of losing, is now lost forever. My photos, videos, documents, screenshots, assignments, past year papers, example question paper, my only pictures with my previous classmates. All gone. I only wanted to keep it safe. But now it looks like I can never get it back. I'm sorry to every one whose memories I failed to bring with me. I swear it wasn't intended. I'm so very sorry. Please forgive me. I wish I can turn back time. Please let any miracle happen. Show me some mercy dear God, please đ
I thought that for the first time ever I am going to fight for what I want till the end. But in the end, I gave up. Again. But this time it wasn't because I wasn't brave enough but I didn't knew if that is really what I want, if that is worth fighting for. What if it wasn't what I wanted after all?
Me to my crush
Please like this tiktok video... pwease
Sometimes, it is not always what you see or what you hear. There's always more to it. And never a single time I felt included. No. Not even once. Maybe that's why I wasn't so fond of it. Or maybe that's why I want to leave. You have be selfish sometimes in order to save yourself. And in this case, I'll always choose myself. Because for me, it was never us. It has always been them.
The day my sticker completely disappear, I'll remove myself from this too. Unless, I feel included at least by then.
HAPPY 9TH ANNIVERSARY BTS (ë°Šíěë ë¨)!
yeah, the past was honestly the best but my best is what comes next
2013 â 2022
I always wants to be a part of them. But in the end, I only able to look from a far. It's starting to get annoyed with this way
There were days while I was in matriculation that I never wish to go back to again. But now it feels like those days are repeating. But now, the only difference is that I'm not crying every day.
There are days I want to get back to my safe nest as soon as possible at all cost. There are also days I don't want to go back to that place yet. And that day is today. I would like to go out to see the world and return as late as possible. I wish that miracle would happen and make me smile today đ¤ And I really wish I had a friend
Please bring me a good news đ¤
