Request Rules:

I did a quick little sketch (by quick, I mean it took me like 2 hours lol) I still struggle with feet and shoes...

I just saw a pose on pinterest and thought omg, what if Astarion and my tav... but he's biting their thigh 🤭

Ofc, I had to name it.. thirst... and I added the "Happy" symbol to kind of cover a sketch I did on the same page... You know... it wasn't originally supposed to be just one piece, I was practicing poses and I liked this one way too much to just leave it or risk messing up when I redrew it.

This is entirely self indulgent.. and intended to be Spawn Astarion because he's so babygirl 🥰😘😍

🤣 also I don't think I posted but I got through the Cazador fight not too long ago.. and

Spoilers and dumb ramble ahead:

For most of my day, I sat there wondering how the fuck I would beat that bastard... he was one shotting Shadowheart with his fucking lightning bolt, then sending his gas minions after the survivors. Astarion being in the ritual made it 10× more difficult.. so... I cheated... and fuck... It should have been obvious...

I LITERALLY FORGOT FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY THAT VAMPIRES ARE WEAK TO SUNLIGHT.. I blame Astarion and his parasite as well as Alucard for that one honestly.. the day walker thing kind of made me forget that omfg immunity to daylight is an exception, not the rule..

So I felt stupid.. once I got that, it was so much easier.. oh and almost constantly had Astarion in stealth kill mode until Cazadick was gone.

Also side note.. the VA for Cazador is perfect.. Like they really sells the "I'm a pathetic little worm, and your worst nightmare, fear me while I bitch and cry" LOL and again that's a compliment.. Larian really succeeded in making an evil character extremely grating and hatable which again, a good thing, not a bad thing.

The heartbreak I felt though afterwards when Astarion screams and cries.. God.. the second I got to this scene, I KNEW I couldn't let him ascend, doing so would be so cruel.. and yes.. this is ascended Astarion slander, I don't like my men too domineering.. maybe a little bit, but not enough to like kill innocent children and eat their hands or some shit lmfao (Doing a durge run too.. where I'm going to ascend Astarion and be a horrible bastard that eats babies) and I don't like that he loses the genuine feelings he has for tav/durge and becomes what he sought to destroy, an abuser.

Now.. the graveyard scene... I had tears in my eyes.. Honestly, the reason I love Astarion so much is because he is quite relatable. I will not go into detail, but I was.. SAed and abused as a kid. And honestly.. Seeing the bit where he scratched out his death date, made me feel hope.. for myself... For my own healing.. it truly meant so much seeing another survivor of abuse begin anew, find themselves again... even though I have done that already myself for the most part, I've found purpose, passions, love, heartbreak, etc and I've found some level of beauty in the life. I related quite a lot to the line about sex feeling tainted.. I am at a point where it no longer feels as terrible, I feel genuine enjoyment in it... (Can't do casual sex though.. That would trigger me into a ptsd attack) And I think part of that was letting myself go at my own pace, making sure my partners knew, and having control and the ability to consent and revoke consent at any point. Emotional attachment helped a great deal too.

I've rambled on enough.. but... Let me end this off by saying, If you went through unspeakable horrors at the hands of those who you thought were supposed to protect you, You are not alone, Even if you do not see it now, there is light at the end of the tunnel, keep on living, keep trying to find joy in little things. It does get better, what was done to you was horrible and you did not deserve it. I promise, you will see better days. You will be happy again, even if you feel like the pain will never end, there is always moments of calm.... live for those... live for your pets, live for your friends, the people around you, live for that cute thing you just ordered, live for that movie or TV series you're excited about watching... even the next patch for bg3.. or more Astarion content if that's your reason right now... and take it one day at a time. You will be okay.

If you need to vent out some shit, I'll listen, I may not know what to say or be able to offer comfort, but I will always lend an ear, even to a total stranger if they need it.

That's all from me, goodbye, until my next post.. whenever that will be ❤🖤❤🖤

In Quarantine with Mello & Matt

This is still relevant... right?.. Right????

Mello

Ok so this man is irritable

He is even more irritable now that he can't leave the house for anything other than food, groceries, hospital trips and anything else that is important.

He will wear a mask and adhere to guidelines of course, he's not an idiot.

But expect more fights over mundane ass things like who washes the dishes or how annoyed he is that he can't get more chocolate because it's like 4am and the store is closed

.He totally supports small businesses around your area. He will buy their homemade chocolate products if he can..

He will throw hands if somebody coughs or sneezes on him.

Mello isn't the worst to be around during quarantine though.

When working from home (which he does most of the time anyway) he likes cuddles and just general being in the same room as you are.

He gets kinda into baking and really into writing.

Mello really enjoys making bread especially with you.

He also likes making cakes and other sweets..

As for his writing, he gets to a point where he can basically churn out a novel per month... and yes he publishes that shit!

So while Mr. Author extraordinaire is writing his many books of varying quality, he’s extra vulnerable to your affections.. Kisses, You got it, Hugs, Yea, sure, Just leave him be for a while after.

If you get into any other hobbies, he’ll try them with you. 

If you get into anything with yarn or anything like that, He’ll probably love it... He’s like lowkey kinda cottagecore

Mello also gets into online gaming to talk to Matt more often.

Matt

He was basically in quarantine long before it all started. 

Basically nothing changed for him... Well except for the fact that MMOs are more popular!

He’s super stoked to play games all day and geek out.

Buuut, of course he still has a job... in the mafia.. There’s times where you have to force him out of his fantasy world and into the real world. 

Matt is super chill about basically everything... Though.. he is just a little bit stressed seeing the total cases rising.

The only way you could tell is by his smoking habits.

Matt does seem to get just a tad bit clingy... and lazy.

He wants to stay in bed or on the couch with you all day..

He, like Mello will be interested in whatever hobbies you decide to try.. But he won’t do knitting or crocheting... because “that’s old lady shit” to him.

Matt will LOVE you if you start baking though, He will be your designated food taster. 

Matt will try to get you into gaming as well as nerd culture if you aren’t already into it to some degree.

Slushie runs to the local 7 Eleven (Or similar slushie selling convenience stores) happen on an almost weekly basis.

He’ll eventually start impulse buying things he finds cute or interesting... so be prepared for a whole lot of meaningless junk... but I mean he is buying from small businesses online.. So that’s a good thing... But really.. Do you really need 200 worms on strings wearing top hats, Matt?

Not trying to attack anyone here, I get it if you don't like the new Alucard.. and granted I'm pretty biased in this because I absolutely adore the old Castlevania art made by Ayami Kojima.. but

For some of the fans that are disappointed about Alucard getting a redesign, I hope you realize this new one is much closer to his design in Sympony Of The Night

(Btw.. if you're attacking or otherwise harassing anyone, but especially the artists and animators that worked on the show for this reason... SHAME. ON. YOU.)

And in fact, the first four seasons are inaccurate to the source material, his design from Dracula's Curse which follows the story of Trevor looks like this.. (the horror... he looks like a basic vampire, I know..)

Side note, I really hope we see Genya Arikado before the series loses popularity... And maybe his design from Judgement making a cameo.. but I somehow doubt it..

I have a feeling after the second season... assuming the showrunners don't redesign again according to demands by some Netflixvania fans... When the newness wears off, some that initially hated it may just grow to like it.

I also hope this encourages some that haven't to look into or play some Castlevania games too! Maybe if enough attention is given to the games Konami might finally do something with the series again? But maybe that's just wishful thinking...

Can I request Vandy finally getting a day off and MC wanting to get out of bed way too early for his liking?

Thanks fro requesting, Anon! 

-Finally.. 

-A day off. 

-Vanderwood was overjoyed when his boss informed him that he had a day off. 

-He felt that he deserved it..

-So for most of the night, he caught up on sleep in your shared bed.

-He really didn’t want to be disturbed.

-But he was disturbed.

-By you.

-You wanted to get out of bed as it was 8AM and you had gotten plenty of sleep. 

-Vanderwood, on the other hand was extremely tired and wanted at least another hour or so of rest. 

-Your shifting around had ruined that for him. 

-”Babe… it’s too early” He complained.

-”Oh. I’m sorry Vandy, I’ll leave in a little while” 

-He pulled your wrist to get you to lay back down.

-”Don’t leave”

-You nodded and got back into bed with him.

-A couple hours later, he finally woke up, you were right beside him.

MC comes home v v sleepy and curls up in Vandy’s lap and falls asleep?

Thank you for requesting, Anon! I’m sorry that this is so short lol.

-You‘d just gotten home from work. 

-You had been on your feet all day. 

-To say you were exhausted would be an understatement. 

-You had noticed that Vanderwood was in the living room watching TV. 

-You really needed some time with Vanderwood.

-Like desperately. 

-You entered the living room and yawned before collapsing on his lap.

-”MC?” He asked, genuinely concerned.

-But you were dead to the world.

-He let you sleep there as long as you wanted to.

It’s that time of the year again

RFA + Minor Trio As Songs

I just wanted to do this for fun I don’t know why... lol oh and btw these are mostly rock since that’s all I ever listen to XD... 

Yoosung

-Kryptonite (3 Doors Down)

Jumin Han

-I do it all the time (IDKHBTFM)

Jaehee

Loud (fuck it) (Motionless In White)

Zen

-Eros And Apollo (Studio Killers)

Seven

-Error (GARNiDELiA)

(ENG COVER)

...and... I’ll include a second one..

-Moonlight Densetsu.... I can totally see this dude cosplaying as Sailor Moon or something

V

-Warhol (Palaye Royale) (that one is kind of weak tbh... lol) 

Saeran

-The Devil Within (Digital Daggers)

Vanderwood

-Spies (Coldplay)

Bonus... (you might hate me for this one lol)

Rika

-MANTRA (Bring Me the Horizon) 

H!

I'm back from the dead!

And I have things to talk about 🤭

Last month into this month has been fucking wild for me!

I was connected to a girl my age through my therapist, her name is Sam. We've really hit it off and I now consider her a friend.

Then... for some reason I felt confident enough to make a dating profile.... and

AGAINST ALL ODDS I MET SOMEONE.

Like I live in a town over an hour away from any cities.. but he only lives a half hour out of town... so not a super long drive.

Anyway, we've seen eachother in person twice but I fell so deeply in love with the guy.. and I can tell he feels the same about me... the way he looks at me.... How he talks... He is also a total romantic.. much like myself, so it's been going really good! I'm hoping we'll get to see eachother again next week.

But I never thought I'd ever get into a romantic relationship... if I'm being honest

Don't read on if you're easily triggered by mental health issues and/or sexual themes.

I never intended to be around this long... I was literally planning on ending it all shortly after my 18th birthday... But for some reason... I kept going.. and I'm super happy that I did, otherwise, I wouldn't have ever met my friend and boyfriend.

Seriously...

Things are finally going right for me after so many goddamned years of being alone, isolated unable to find any real connection and incredibly miserable because of it...

I have finally realized I am not unlikeable, I'm not worthless and I can find friends. And for the rest of 2022 and into 2023, I will work as hard as I can to not let my anxiety control me anymore

My next big leap comes in November. I will be looking for my first job!

And here comes the part where I gush about my boyfriend

I now have this dream now where I'm settling down with my boyfriend.... we move into a little apartment in one of the cities nearby (in fact that dream could very well come true... because we both want to go to the same city for college) and we settle into a peaceful domestic life together.... hopefully with cats!

Ok... but like honestly this guy is literally the one I've been dreaming of. He's very attractive and emotionally available, and he doesn't judge me for who I am! I neglected to mention here, but I have discovered that I am agender and my pronouns are they/them... I live in probably one of the most conservative provinces in Canada and to make it worse, I'm in a small town with like 4 churches of the same exact brand of extremely homophobic and transphobic Christianity... I fully expected him to lose interest in me. But no, It hasn't affected how he thinks of me. and he is very careful to respect my pronouns...

He's also very funny (which I really love in people... I can't be around someone who is super serious all the time) I mean... when I last saw him on Monday, we were at my place, playing around (in an adult sort of way) and he discovered my toys

One of them had a suction cup at the base, so he goes and sticks it on the wall a few times... then he sticks it on his forehead looks at me and says "I'm dildo man" we laugh about it together.... and he goes to pull it off his face only to discover it has suctioned pretty hard to his face, so I help him by wedging my finger under the suction cup and lifting it off...

and HE HAS A BIG ASS BRUISE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FOREHEAD... We're still laughing our asses off... me almost pissing myself with laughter as we frantically search for way to get rid of bruises and hickeys online... we try the fork method, icing it... everything we can do, nothing works.. so we decide to just take a bath to clean up before my parents get home from a trip they were on (at this point my parents don't know we've had sex... and I wasn't exactly ready to tell them) While we're in the bath, my parents get home and my dad calls out to me... I fucking panic and we get out and dress at breakneck speed.

My parents brought home some takeout and my boyfriend stayed for dinner... he met my mom for the first time... but damn... coming downstairs after that was... super awkward... but thankfully my parents aren't the type to be bothered by that kind of thing, all they needed to know was that we used protection (which we did ofc)

It's funny though, he really gets along well with my dad.. Maybe it's their sense of humour. Or maybe the fact they are both quite talkative..

But damn.....

This guy is special.. and I hope we last for years, decades... life even...

And done.. Sorry about all that.. just had to write this all down somewhere.. It's really hard to contain my happiness right now.

Vanderwood with an MC who’s mumbling about how much she loves him in her sleep?

Thanks for requesting, Anon!

-Vanderwood couldn’t sleep…

-He was staring at you trying to calm his mind. 

-He knew you talked in your sleep from time to time.. 

-Usually you’d mumble about things you’d experience in day today life..

-So this was kind of expected. 

-You started inaudibly mumbling…

-Then it got louder and more intelligible

-”I love you Vandy” 

-He smiled at that. 

-”love you too princess” He whispered

-”I wanna be by your side forever” 

-His heart MELTED

-How adorable. 

-The fact that you thought about him even when you were asleep made him love you even more If that’s even possible

-You said one last thing before going silent for the night. 

-”I love you more than anything” 

-He smiled before hugging you closer and finally drifting off to sleep.