Bsd Osamu Dazai - Blog Posts

My friend made a joke about this fucked up Dazai Official art's legs making him look like a deer and I felt obligated.

I wish I knew who posted this cuz it's so funny to me😭😭‼️

I found this old masterpiece I drew from a while ago

Sillyzai is fucking lit

Hi guys my phone literally exploded into a thousand pieces for a while so I couldn't ppost.. Am back tho..

Sighs and yawns.. I hate them more than anyone else..

I actually hate him. He ruins me. He's my enemy and I feel death itself every time I see him. GET OUT OF MY SKIN DAZAI OSAMU.

Chuuya: Okay, listen... We just gotta stop hanging out with geniuses because you're gonna figure out that I'm really stupid.

Dazai: What? Don't worry about that.

Chuuya: *smiling* Hmm?

Dazai: I figured out a long time ago how stupid you are.

Chuuya: *contemplating murder*

Dazai, about Chuuya: Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, you want to get fucked by a short ginger.

Ango: 🤦‍♂️

Odasaku: Please stop talking.

Atsushi, trying to convince Chuuya to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!

Dazai: And loud!

Dazai: And grumpy!

Dazai: And short!

Dazai: And oblivious to reality!

Chuuya:

*some years later*

Dazai: Atsushi, Akutagawa...

Atsushi and Akutagawa: Yes, Dazai.

Dazai: About the rumour...

Atsushi, Akutagawa: What rumour?

Dazai: Poetry.

Atsushi, Akutagawa:

Dazai: It's not what everybody thinks it is.

Akutagawa: I'm afraid explaining any further while in your partner's bed will only make matters worse, Mrs. Nakahara.

Dazai: Did you just call me Mrs. Nakahara?

Atsushi: It's best if you get used to it sooner than later.

Dazai:

Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?

Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?

Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?

Dazai: It's perfectly fine.

Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.

Chuuya: We...

Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.

Akutagawa: Poetry?

Dazai:

Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.

Akutagawa:

Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.

Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...

Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*

Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?

Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?

Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?

Dazai: It's perfectly fine.

Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.

Chuuya: We...

Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.

Akutagawa: Poetry?

Dazai:

Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.

Akutagawa:

Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.

Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...

Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*

Dazai, walking up to look at a dead body: Okay, first of all, big mood.

Dazai, pulling out an engagement ring: Got it a week after we first met.

Chuuya:

Chuuya, also pulling out a ring: Got it yesterday.

Dazai: *on the phone* Hey, Chuuya~

Dazai: Do you know my blood type?

Chuuya: Of course, its AB.

Dazai: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-

Dazai: Babe!

Chuuya: Don’t call me that!

Dazai: Chibi, honey, dear, love, sunshine, slug-

Chuuya: Dazai-

Dazai: Darling, hat rack, sweetheart, my God of fire-

Chuuya: Dazai no-

Dazai: Mi amore, the light of my life, my chihuahua, my doggie, my baby, angel, baby boy, baby girl-

Dazai: My petit mafia, shortie, sweetie-

Chuuya: Are you done?

Dazai: My beloved, the best executive, the anchor of my universe, the loml, my other half, my soulmate..

Chuuya:

Dazai: Ok, now I’m done.

Chuuya: Ok what did you want?

Dazai:

Dazai: Oh I forgot.

Chuuya: what the fuck are you looking at?

Dazai, on the inside: You’re so beautiful and I'm so in love with every part of you. The curve of your mouth when you laugh while you're having a good fight. How you stand leaning on your side with your hands in your pocket. The way your hair shines like the sun and how you always blush when I get too close. I’m so lucky to have you. You are the greatest person I’ve ever met and I will never regret meeting you. I would find you and love you in every lifetime.

Dazai, out loud: You got shorter.

Dazai: I am 100% straight.

Ranpo: Kunikida teaching Atsushi martial arts.

Dazai: I am 90% straight.

Yosano: Dostoevsky in the Dead Apple movie.

Dazai: I am 70% straight.

Ranpo: Sigma wearing his high heels.

Dazai: I am 50% straight.

Atsushi: The Hunting Dog that arrested you.

Dazai: I am 40% straight.

Dazai: Still straight, still doing okay.

Ranpo: Chuuya-

Dazai: I am not straight.

Dazai: Hi, I’m bi. I’m attracted to women because they are incredible and I’m attracted to men because I love making bad choices.

Chuuya: Shut up!

Dazai: Or what?

Chuuya, thinking what to say that could make Dazai shut up forever:

Chuuya: Or else I'll marry you!

Dazai: *malfunctions*

Dazai: Kunikida and I get along perfectly. Don't we, Kunikida?

Kunikida: I have never been so stressed in my entire life.

Akutagawa: Atsushi hasn't text me back and it's been 15 minutes :(

*meanwhile*

Atsushi: Dazai, does "beautiful" have 3 or 4 O's?

Dazai, fully aware of how to spell beautiful: It has 4.

Dazai: Some of these ppl out here rlly got me struggling to be ace.

Ranpo: You're talking about Chuuya.

Dazai: I'm most def talking about Chuuya.

Dazai: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant other and-

Chuuya: I wrote you a poem.

Dazai, already crying: You did???

Dazai: Dear Santa,

Dazai: I’m writing to you because I know I’ve been naughty...

Dazai: And it was totally worth it, you judgmental bastard!