nd then me and chuuya get married afterwards
Dazai: Arrange the marriage!
Port Mafia: *cheers and applause*
Chuuya: Wait!
Dazai: What? You’re all I ever wanted. You’re beautiful!
Chuuya: Thank you. But what else?
Dazai: What else?
Chuuya: Is beauty all that matters to you?
Dazai: [Looks to Oda]
Oda: [Shakes his head]
Mori: Dazai… What else?
Dazai: I, uh… What else is there?
Hirotsu: *Buzzer noise*
[LATER - KOUYOU and CHUUYA prepare to leave]
Kouyou: We tried, boss. No one can say we didn’t try.
Mori: [Sobs.]
Kouyou: Say goodbye, Chuuya.
Chuuya: Goodbye.
Kouyou: Goodbye…?
Chuuya: Dazai.
Mori: [Nudges DAZAI]
Dazai: *whines* Boss.
Mori: Dazai!
Dazai: Goodbye, chibi.
Mori: All these years of planning… Wasted!
[KOUYOU and CHUUYA leave]
Oda: What else is there? He says, “Is beauty all that matters?” And you say, “What else is there?!”
Dazai: It was dumb, I know.
Oda: You should write a book. ‘How to Offend Men in Five Syllables or Less’.
Ozamu Dazai; the original ZZKK zhipper.🎀
Dazai: You're an attractive man.
Atsushi: Who? Uh, me?
Dazai: You and Akutagawa spend a lot of time together, don't you?
Atsushi: We do, yes. Uh, but we're just temporary partners. I mean, we're not, you know ...
Dazai: He's an attractive guy, nice bone structure, hypnotic eyes, etc.
Atsushi: I guess so?
Dazai: Have you noticed how uptight he's been lately?
Atsushi: Uh, l-like I said, we're partners, so ...
Dazai: Partners should help each other out, relieve some of that stress. Maybe extend that partner relationship.
Atsushi: Extend? Um ... I-I don't ...
Dazai: You're two attractive people. Any thoughts on how to alleviate that stress?
Atsushi: We could ... we could go for more walks?
Dazai: Walks are good. Walks are nice. I was thinking, since you're already partners, you could extend that relationship ... become the other kind of partners.
Atsushi: Are you ... are ...
Dazai: I am.
Atsushi: Y ... Dazai-san ...
Dazai: Everybody wins.
Atsushi: Th-this is sexual harassment. You know that, right?
Dazai: I think of it as sexual encouragement.
Atsushi: [runs away]
Dazai: Think about it, Atsushi. Take one for the team.
CRIED
Chuuya: We need background music for our alzheimer's presentation. Dazai: Don't worry, I've got this. The day of the presentation: Chuuya: Okay, let's do this. *clicks start* *somebody that I used to know starts playing*
Tachihara: Three stages of life:
Tachihara: 1. Birth.
Tachihara: 2. What the fuck is this?
Tachihara: 3. Death.
Chuuya: Okay, listen... We just gotta stop hanging out with geniuses because you're gonna figure out that I'm really stupid.
Dazai: What? Don't worry about that.
Chuuya: *smiling* Hmm?
Dazai: I figured out a long time ago how stupid you are.
Chuuya: *contemplating murder*
Dazai: I think this outfit makes me look older :D
Kyouka: But you're already old.
Dazai: EXCUSE ME, WHAT?
Atsushi, trying to convince Chuuya to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!
Dazai: And loud!
Dazai: And grumpy!
Dazai: And short!
Dazai: And oblivious to reality!
Chuuya:
Chuuya: When I have a crush I don't kick my feet or twirl my hair. Chuuya: Instead I am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just can't crack.
Dazai, walking up to look at a dead body: Okay, first of all, big mood.
Chuuya: Isn't the idea supposed to be "you saved my life, now I owe you a debt?" Dazai: Nope. Other way round. You saved my life, so now I'm your problem. If you don't like it, then kill me. Dazai: God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.