Daily Thoughts - Blog Posts

Why is it always so hard to accept feeling appreciated, like there is always that small doubt in your mind that makes you go “no one wants me around them or thinks I’m annoying.”

The voices are telling me to go back to the land of sheep, cobblestone houses, beautiful gothic buildings and ginger beer. I do not understand why I am so fixed on England, I just am. I am currently thinking about running there, where-ever in that beautiful country, and leaving the future I have in my state. Maybe for a year but hopefully forever. I can’t think of anything I would like better than being there.

Speed sheep, come back please

Ma reggeli alakítás:

Állok a fürdőszobában a tükör előtt, megszólalok jó hangosan: "Ma is qrva jól nézel ki"

Anya a folyosóról: "Te kinek beszélsz?"

Én: "Magamnak. Most tartom a kicsit jobban szeretem magam sessiont, hogy utána egész nap nyugodtan tudjam utálni magam. De! Ti is qrva jól néztek ki."

*anya egy pizsamában olyan fáradt fejjel, hogy azta qrva, öcsém meg a falnak dőlve még félig alvásban*

Waking up everyday while realizing myself as a noob : " Sup , new skills ! Here I come !!"

I hope I can think like that forever .

Sometimes I cry.

Don't ask me the reason.

Because then,

I'll cry harder.

Are our own parents any different than the step mothers in the fairy tales?

I was watching a documentary series on Netflix called ‘Myths and Monsters’. At a point where they were discussing about ‘The Grimm's Fairy Tales’, which is a book of collected folktales of Germany by the Grimm brothers, they said that the brothers had actually modified the stories to make it acceptable to the children. And one such particular change was that in the story of ‘Hansel and Gretel’. Though worldwide we all know that the siblings were a victim to the cruelty of their stepmother, the original story tells otherwise. They were rather abandoned in the woods by their poverty driven parents.

Now the questions come: Why did the brothers exchanged the real parents with a stepmother? If it was so unrealistic or unacceptable for the real parents to have abandoned their own children, why would the original story has them in the first place?

The series also gave an idea to that. Basically the myths we know have some really deep morals into it. They usually portray the inner dark nature of humans through the images of monsters. So, it is not unlikely to put the real parents’ images as some cruel versions of humans. Because we humans, are capable of such cruelty. It is embedded inside all of us.

But since the civilizations started, we are trying our best to tame such nature within ourselves. As if the wilderness inside us is considered a taboo in the modern world we live in. So, we made another character to drive away this from ourselves. In this case, it is the stepmother. The stepmother has become a disguise for all the dark parts of a parent. Hence, we see this character in almost every fairy tales in the place of a cruel guardian.

Do you ever feel like you’re about to cry? There is no specific reason. You just simply stare at the ceiling and the tears roll down your eyes.

Beauty of Things I’ve Never Seen Before

Today was the first day ever I was in the school bus alone. Not alone really, there were other students whom I don’t know. My best friend wasn’t there, so technically, I was alone.

I tried reading the book I took with me but in vain. As the bus started, I began looking at the familiar roads and buildings we were passing.

“Nothing to look at”, I thought.

But then I was thinking about what Gardner (from ‘The Space Between Us’) would feel about seeing all the things I was able to see. He would have definitely found it beautiful. He would be grateful to be able to look at all the different things and think how different they were from all the same things in Mars.

I decided to romanticize the bus ride to school. And I really found beautiful things.

At first, I noticed, among all the common buildings, some were remarkably unique. A really tall building made out of concrete and glass was probably the most eye-catching. Also, there were some plants at the foot of it with huge leaves (about 1-2 meters).

I noticed that a very common restaurant with nothing special, hung some fruits in the front. And they look beautiful in the middle of the chaotic surroundings.

I’ve seen a big mosque of white and pink colours with golden glasses in the windows. I’ve seen it before. But never realized how beautiful it was. It was no less in beauty than “The Sheikh Zayed Mosque” of Abu Dhabi.

Even the trucks parked in a line looked beautiful. The bright yellow colour was something outstanding in the gloom of the dawn. Not to mention that all of them have different floral pattern all over their body. Beautiful!

The last thing I saw on the bus, was probably the most beautiful thing. The sun! I’m sure it doesn’t shine like that on Mars. It was big and orange in colour. I can’t remember when was the last time I’ve seen the sun at dawn.

As I’ve got out of the bus, the school campus welcomed me with beautiful flowers, flowers of every possible colours, I’ve ignored before. Now I’ve truly seen them. I kept walking along the three different shades of marigolds as my doom awaited me at the end of the road.

When you hear about someone you know, doing a bad thing, don't you feel kinda sad or maybe even guilty about it?

Because you think, "What was my part, among all others, in their life which lead them to this path?"