Excerpts From My Life - Blog Posts

You're sticking me with pieces

Of someone else's journey.

Weaving in some strangers theories.

But just know that

I'll never be enough,

I'll always be empty.

Starving,

For a truth of my own.

Waiting for my own soul,

To be mixed with the newness in me.

Because I'll always be a reject,

Of someone's memory

Unless I write my own.

Only then

I'll be enough.

-simra . T

“You aren't even mine, but I still love you like you are.”

A.M. {unrequitedly}

He broke me so many times, but for some reason i'm only at peace when im with him

- i know this will end horribly, but im out of here soon anyways...

This morning, I was so proud of myself. My scars had fully healed. Now, i can still feel the sting of my fresh wounds, and i cant help but wonder, "why does this make me feel so damn good?"

- i tried to stop, but it just made me worse

I will always cherish what you have given me, and what i have learned from you, but its time to let go.

I said it would be fine. That i was okay just being your friend... until you told me that you love her and that you would wait for her. You once said that to me, and now you dont even think about what we once had, because to you, that was nothing. I knew i was just your rebound, but i just wanted to know what it was like. I was in it for the rush, that high you get. But little did i know there would be such a dark fall after. Were good. Weve both moved on. But, still i go back to us holding hands in the movie theatre, telling me you love me. Well, not really. You went back to her a few weeks later. Youre chasing someone who doesnt love you, and im chasing you, who doesnt love me. What made me this messed up that i dont look at the people who love me but only think about the one who doesnt? Because whats not healthy for you always has the best high, and once youve had a taste, youre hooked.

white sand, waves splashing, wind blowing

for a moment i got lost in the ocean’s ethereal beauty and i envied the moon for being able to see it everyday, i lingered in that state of serenity as the moon vowed its love for the ocean wishing i could do the same to you but i knew better than to break my own fragile heart like that as unfortunately the feelings aren’t reciprocal

— my heart

Her

‪i could talk about the way she made me feel all day long, i had spent days and nights day-dreaming of the spontaneous adventures i longed to have with her‬

with my bare imagination, i could outline on a blank canvas the shape of her torso all the way down her hips

or the way her face lightened up when she shyly smiled

god knows how jolly my days would be with her divine presence

god knows she would be the cause of my sanity as without her, my heart turns wild and i lose my sanity unable to control my emotions and endlessly longing for love only she could give me

joy, only her eyes could give me, and freedom only she could grant me.

for her i would steal the sky a million times and over

for the joy she gives me has no price,

i would leap over mountains and cross oceans to simply listen to her speak of all her anime fantasies and all her favorite characters, to listen to her dreams and all the weird food combinations she loves.

I caught a glimpse of her dark soul and a taste of her poisoned lips ever since then, my soul has been mourning her absence and crying for more

my dark and lone mind

Daydreams

I want to go on spontaneous adventures with you in all the possible places in this beautiful world of ours.  I want to climb mountains in the Gaiain alps with you far far away where we will be completely out of reach. Why is it that your presence is the one I crave the most? everywhere I go, all I crave is for you to be there with me. I want to wake up at 4 am with you as its you I'm besotted by. With you I want to drive down to the beach and watch the sun rise and shine its rays into those heavenly eyes of yours which never seize to enchant me. Just me, you, and the ocean. I want to sit on top of the roof in your embrace, and reminisce about the memories I miss and wish I could relive. I want to listen to you talk for hours and hour about the things you love, the things that make you happy, your dreams and aspirations. I want to hear all the things that make you feel uneasy. I want to have such a strong bond that nothing but truth flows out of our mouths. I want to be able to shower you with all the love you deserve, treat you like the most precious gem that you are, and be nothing but devoted to you.

Excerpt from my thoughts