Funny Quotes - Blog Posts

Just got done telling my partner about how I had to traverse fields of black ice in order to get my Amazon package and they gave me literally one of the best sentences I've ever heard them say

"Oh my partner you have survived war and come back to me sexy"

Things that happened today

Friend A: SO apparently Chinese mythology has mpreg

Friend B: Ain’t that an image format?

Me: JPEG?!?!?

Bonus:

Friend B: Mythology is just really old fanfiction

Looking back, I remembered he was high when he said this

My dad said the most philosophical thing last night:

"No matter how hard things get, just remember that somewhere out there, in the middle of the Columbian jungle, there is a sloth that wants nothing more than for you to pet it."

And that is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.

I just remembered he was high when he said that

My dad said the most philosophical thing last night:

"No matter how hard things get, just remember that somewhere out there, in the middle of the Columbian jungle, there is a sloth that wants nothing more than for you to pet it."

And that is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.

My dad said the most philosophical thing last night:

"No matter how hard things get, just remember that somewhere out there, in the middle of the Columbian jungle, there is a sloth that wants nothing more than for you to pet it."

And that is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.

"I ain't quitting YouTube 'til I die."

"Pfft, casual. That's what scheduled uploads are for."

Does anyone remember this quote by Salem? Our emotional snek does. He is baby 🐍

No worries, Aziraphale patted him on the back after

Remember kids, there are healthier way to be weird than to be a far right politician!

Grip: Take it.

Karma: Is this,,,Are you giving me your number?

Grip: You can reach me anytime.

Karma: But, for what?

Grip: If anybody gives you trouble, just call me.

Grip: I’ll fucking kill them for you.

I made these poorly edited text prompts.. enjoy

........

.......

.......

......

Am I the only one that used to/still is reading WIP as "West In Peace" instead of "Work In Progress"? Or am I just too sleep deprived

Who would like to find out??? 😂

😂🤣

"he's doing his exercises, he's a good boy" -my grandmother, about my grandfather..

I feel like phrases used to describe me could be used as life lessons

"sometimes she'll slap you in the face even if you didn't do anything, you could either deal with it or slap her back and if she runs away get up and chase her"

"sometimes she makes sense and sometimes she doesn't, and if you don't get it it's probably not that important for you"

"she can be crazy sometimes, but other times it seems like she makes more sense than anything else"

"if she's focused on you is because you have her respect"

"the best way to get her to trust you is by being nice"

"sometimes she'll go fast, but never too fast that you can't catch up"

Etc

Now just replace she and her with it and you got life advice