Dabi: *reading his book aloud to annoy everyone*
You: *walks in the room*
Dabi: *reading* "...I'll kill you"
You: Not if I kill myself first
Dabi: ...
Dabi: Y/N no
Jirou, about the Bakusquad: It’s like all of you share one braincell sometimes!
Kaminari: *Can’t think of a good comeback because it’s not his turn to use the braincell*
I have a headcanon that Midoriya is just... insanely good at Mario Kart. Like this boy knows all the shortcuts and shit
But like... also nail someone with a green shell and he’s like ‘what it’s math???’ Cause u know this kid who analyzes people for fun would be that kind of person
Meanwhile everyone else is freaking the fuck out cause this little ray of sunshine is just demolishing everyone
Bakugou sitting in the corner like ‘I fucking told you!’ Cause it’s the one thing he can’t beat Midoriya in EVER and thinking about it is like the funniest thing ever to me
Did All Might really call Midoriya his “prince of nonsense” or did I just read it in a fanfic???? I gotta know
So, you guys know how Hawks is a bird? Welllll… what if he laid eggs?
Dabi, making breakfast: OI NUGGETS! WANT SOME EGGS?! Hawks, scrambling down the stairs frantically: WHICH EGGS DID YOU USE?! Dabi: I dunno, the ones in the red carton?
Hawks, grabbing him by the collar: DID. YOU. USE. A. PURPLE. EGG. Dabi: No, that one looked weird, so I left it.
Hawks: *slumps against the counter, relieved*
Dabi: why do you ask? Hawks: Don’t ever use those eggs again.
*Sounds of an egg cracking*
Dabi: Takami Keigo, what the hell is that?!
Hawks: Ummmm… We may be having a child. Miutomo: *climbs out of her eggshell and chirps*
Dabi: H-HOW?! HAWKS-
Hawks: *major freakout but also stunned by Miu’s cuteness*
soooo I may have edited it and now it looks weird… oh well.
denki: i talked to bakugo today, and apparently, he and izuku broke up
kirshima: oh, how awful
denki: kirishima, you're smiling
kirishima: am i? hmm
kirishima: don't come to the loft
denki: why?
kirishima: bakugo's passive-aggressively doing the dishes he asked me to do six hours ago. it isn't safe here anymore
kirishima, sitting on bakugos's lap: tell me I'm pretty
bakugo, lovingly: pretty fucking annoying is what you are
kirishima, blushed: i love u too
kirishima: you like me?
Bakugo: we're married
kirishima: yeah but did you marry me as friends or-
Kirishima: why are you looking at me like that?
Bakugo: i want to kiss your stupid face
Kirishima: *flinches* wha—WHAT?!?!
Bakugo: *leans in and gives him a peck*
Kirishima blushing & panting nervously: YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT AND DO IT RIGHT AFTER!!!!
Bakugo: just look at me, shitty hair
kirishima: [looking at bakugo] who is that guy?
mina: that’s Bakugo.
Kirishima: he’s good looking.
Denki: they say he’s dangerous.
kirishima: well now he’s even more good looking.
Kirishima: things have actually been going really well with bakugou. our friendship is in a really good place.
kirishima: last week i said "did you know a wiener dog is neither a wiener nor a dog?" and instead of saying "shut up." he said "okay."
Kirishima: *babbling cutely in his sleep*
Bakugou: *rolls over and cuddles up to Kiri so he can wrap his hand over his mouth*
Bakugou: *whispering into his ear* Shut the fuck up.
Kirishima: Bakugou don't die!!!
Kirishima: HAVE READ THAT THE POMERANIAN DOGS LIVE UP TO 16 YEARS OLD AND Y-YOU...
Bakugou: *turns to look at him*
Kirishima: *run*
Kirishima: *singing* All I want for Christmas is youuuu. [points at Bakugo ]
Kirishima: *stopping the singing* Actually I want you all year.
Bakugou: [blushes] idiot
Kirishima: here is my wall of inspirational people
Denki: isn't that just a picture of Bakugou?
Kirishima: he inspires me
Kirishima: hey guys !!! sorry, i'm late. I was busy doing things
Bakugou: *behind him smirking mockingly* i'm things
Kirishima: would you mind asking Bakugou if he still likes me?
mina: he literally would kill everyone in this city for you
Kirishima: yeah but still
Bakugou: i like the strong but silent type
Kirishima: *silently attempting to lift a table*
Bakugou : i've never been in a snowball fight before. i don't know the rules.
Kirishima: pf... what?
Bakugou: is there a point system, or is it to death?
Kirishima: *trying to flirt* So you come here often?
Bakugou:
Bakugou: You just walked into my room.
Bakugou: Eijiro?
Kirishima: yes love?
Bakugou: what are you doing.
Kirishima: giving you a hug darlin’
Bakugou: then why are both of your hands directly on my ass.
Kirishima: they are? didn’t notice.
Bakugou: fuck, it’s dark
Kirishima: don’t worry babe, i got this
Kirishima: *stomps his foot so his fantasy skechers light up*
Kirishima: i made a marshmallow Bakugou. see? his arms are crossed because he's mad at all the other marshmallow people for annoying him. you like it?
Bakugou: *choked up* it's fine
Bakugou: hey shitty hair, do any sounds scare you?
Kirishima real or imaginary?
Bakugou: *curiously* let’s go with imaginary...
Kirishima: a spider with crocs
Bakugou:
Bakugou: not sure where exactly to start with that shit
Bakugou: what're you looking at?
Kirishima: *entering his and Katsuki name into an online love calculator* porn
Bakugou: *swimming during the beach cycle* out here living my fucking best life
Kirishima: Deku is drowning
Bakugou: this ain’t about him
*kiri lying on top of katsuki*
Bakugou: you're heavy as fuck, shitty hair
Kirishima: do you want me to move??
Bakugou: no *look away flushed*
Kirishima: don’t you fucking die!!
Bakugou : don’t tell me what to do
Kirishima: please, cure my sadness
Bakugou: *look at him with a frown*
Kirishima: *sighs* thanks