I would wholeheartedly read something like this without romance, y’know? Just doing stuff with the jackass guys
pov you start traveling with the jackass crew to take pictures and design stuff for them
*i might write about this idk yet*
i just know that these two would make the best creative duo on earth and you can't convince me otherwise
would you be open to writing dark content for the jackass boys x reader? 🥺🫡
hi, define darker stuff please!! but if you mean it in a modern booktok-stalking-borderline-abuse way, then absolutely not, I'm strongly against this kind of stuff, especially that I know that there are younger people reading my posts! the darkest thing you will find here is probably just some angst/heartbreak/yearning for the love that never happened.
the world is already full of abuse content disguised as the new flavour of content for the young girls, which can influence their view of what is normal and acceptable in relationships. Jackass guys in my universe can be silly, goofy or angsty, but they always treat the reader with respect. Excuse my rant, but I just have a lot to say about the current normalisation of this kind of stuff.
anyway, here's my family portrait once again, I wish you all the best day possible!
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johnny - something classic, but not too overpowering (although i can see him with a layer of an old-time-cologne, the one with manly man design and a strong pine/aldehyde scent). there's also a very light whiff of tobacco and... do you know how air smells on a hot summer day, behind a gas station, when road dust settles all over your skin, but everything around you blooms, and it's the best day of your life? yeah, that's the one, gasoline, dust and mid-heatwave euphoria.
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steve-o - raw, alive and somewhat hedonistic. i can picture him wearing some heavy perfume (bull's blood on the picture is probably the best example, roses, musk and tobacco), probably overspraying it a bit, who's going to tell him? there is also an undertone of sickly sweet soda that he spilled on himself on his way to you, and faint, but definitely present, hint of the few joints that he carries around in his chest pocket, waiting for the special occasion to light them up (preferably with you).
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chris - rules and playing it safe? they are not in this guy's vocabulary! chris has his favorite signature scent (probably something unisex, maybe even more female-leaning) that comes with him everywhere. it's a complicated (maybe even too strong for some) combination of vetiver, ylang-ylang and patchouli. he loves green scents that make him smell like a deep breath after summer rain.
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bam - we're definitely getting something edgy here. incense, amber, smoke, just imagine a burning haunted house and there he is. ash, burnt match, leather and dried flowers. gothic, dark and alluring, like a late night cemetery walk. he will probably keep a flask of his favorite perfume in his pocket and respray every time he goes to the bathroom/you leave the room - you have to keep up your vampiric charm!
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omg yay commissions are open!! I'd love some johnny knoxville flirtatious angst 😂 I don't have any ideas beyond that, but maybe you can find inspiration from this pic
tysm chaya!!
sorry, i got a bit carried away with this concept, so that may not be 100% true to the original request, but!! welcome to the world where you and Johnny are ex-college sweethearts, reconnecting after years of absence and some really gnarly fight. enjoy! <33
It’s been a long time since you and Johnny had a chance to see each other, or even talk like civilized people. All of your recent interactions could be summarized in a small – but how entertaining! – collection of text messages, dating back to the day after *the accident*. Looking back at it, it was nothing serious, just a foolish, drunken debate, that made both of you go too far with heavy words. Again, nothing to write home about, just you two sharing the last drink of the night, recalling some silly memories from college days, when you two were… How exactly could one call it? You were definitely more than friends, a cluster of unspoken sentiments, heavy glances, a few after-party kisses. Just enough to make you two, almost ten years later, fight to death about the final questions. Why you two never worked it out? Who didn’t call? Who was the first to try to forget all about it? And there you were, supposed to cherish a quick moment of reunion due to his crew that just accidentally happened to film in your area. Who knew this would turn into a verbal wildfire, that none of you seemed too eager to put out?
Today, you woke up unusually late. Quick shower, quick breakfast, quick guilt trip about already wasting almost a half of your day. In the meantime, your phone screen started to glow with a notification. New text message, how convenient, sent from the man that only a few days ago wanted to forget about everything you shared together – even if it was just a young love fantasy, that none of you really wanted to let go. That specific kind of head rush, which can be caused only by something so idealized, because you two never had a chance to get bored with each other.
“can i take you out? i’m nearby and thinking about some things. i want to make it up to you. i promise ma’am, i’ll be more civil this time”
You sighed, letting your thoughts run wild, sprinkled with anxiety and confusion. Was this a good idea? Maybe it would be for the best if you two closed this unhinged chapter and just moved on with your respectable lives. Although, you said to yourself, what harm could it cause? Just one evening and everything will go back to the way it was before. You will both forgive and forget (ideally), him and his crew would leave the town, and you will finally get some well-deserved peace and quiet.
“Only if you promise not to get sentimental.” – you could feel your palms shaking a little bit while pushing the send button. Maybe it wasn’t so casual after all?
“on my way”
︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹
– Why have you brought us here? – you asked, looking with suspicion at an empty football pitch.
You tried to act all nonchalant, like you already forgot that back in the day it was your spot. Johnny used to sneak beers from his parent's house, you drank them like it was the olympian ambrosia, laughing, making unreal plans, while the evening glow showered everything in this nostalgic shade of blue. Until now, you had a chance to drink cooled martinis at the beach and cosmopolitans, carefully put together by your best friend, made to taste like a piece of heaven in a glass. Despite that, you were not able to forget this sweet aftertaste of flavored beers in a room temperature, shared with a man that you thought was your soulmate. Here he was, theatrically showing you the way to the empty bleachers, offering you an arm. He never lost his love for acting, even in the most foolish situations.
– And they say that chivalry is dead – you snarked playfully, accepting his offer after a moment of contemplation.
– Never with me, ma’am – he replied, confidently walking to a pair of seats that already had a blanket put on them. – Yeah, I figured it might get cold in the evening.
– Oh, how thoughtful of you – you still did not want to drop the sarcastic act, not after everything that happened in the last few days.
Johnny offered you a seat on the blanket-covered chair, a piece of weird luxury on an empty football pitch. Without saying a word, he took out two bottles of raspberry beer – how they could even fit in his pockets?
– A little something, treat it as an olive branch – his half-smile was *almost* remorseful.
– Olive branch? I’m afraid it’s gonna take a bit more than a bottle of beer – almost laughing, you took the bottle out of his hand nonetheless.
– And yet you still decided to take it – Johnny noticed, his stupid smile becoming almost contagious.
– Jo, if I knew that it would give you such an ego boost, I’d turn down every drink on this planet.
How could you let that slip out of your mouth? Jo, his nickname that only you could use, just added to the tension that was building up between you two. So many memories running through your head like a messed up slideshow, fusing and merging, creating this emotionally loaded footage of everything that went wrong. Despite pushing off the thought, you couldn’t help but imagine… What if he never left the town? What if you had a second chance, a fresh start, what if… No, no, that ship has sailed a long time ago. The only thing you could do now is to sit down, enjoy the view, drink your beer and not get lost in his superstar smile.
– And I thought I was the sentimental one, bringing you here and all. But hey, Y/N, looks like I underestimated you!
– Leave it, Johnny. Don’t act like you didn’t hate me almost three days ago.
– Hate you? I could never! – Johnny noticed the side-eye that you gave him, making him finally get into a more serious tone. – Seriously, Y/N, I could never. And if I came off that way, then well… There’s nothing left for me but apologize. Sincerely. I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m sorry for…
– Johnny, stop, you don’t have to. Listen, today we’re here, the next day you and your friends would get back to your Hollywood’s hall of fame, or wherever is your current residence. We don’t have to do this, we don’t have to get into this weird, pushed conversation just for the sake of politeness.
A moment of awkward silence hovered above your heads. He didn’t turn his eyes off of you, like – despite everything being said between you – he was afraid of losing another moment of admiring how beautiful you were. You could feel his remorse, nostalgia and genuine need to make things better, even if it lasted just for this night.
︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹
– Y/N, again… I never wanted to hurt you. I know how I feel and deep down I can only hope that maybe you feel this too. Yeah, yeah, I know, it didn’t work out then… And it doesn’t have to work out now. I’m fine with both, as long as I can hang out with you today.
This caught you a little bit off guard. You expected a little more bickering, some stuck-up arguments about misremembered words and unfinished affairs that could haunt you like first-class victorian ghosts. Instead, he gently took your bottle out of your hand and opened it with his chipped pink lighter.
– Impressive, I know – his sarcastic, almost self-aware remark cleared the air a little, while you still didn’t know how to respond.
After all of it, why can’t you just enjoy the night? Even if it won’t last forever, like you used to believe it will.
– Maybe for a college kid – you picked up the playful act, maybe going with the flow won’t hurt anyone?
– Oh, Y/N, so cruel again! You know what? Watch this.
Johnny took a mini CD player from his pocket. Just like the one you used to replay your collection of Fleetwood Mac’s music on. And just like that, the first notes of Seven Wonders started to flow out of the slightly screeching speaker.
– I hope you still like it, because if not, then well, I don’t have any kind of plan b – he said, sipping his beer slowly.
– You still have this old thing? – you almost gasped, surprised and maybe even impressed.
– Yeah, I guess it’s hard to get rid of something that… Hey, did you see that?
– What?
– A shooting star! Quickly, make a wish – he nudged you, still following some distant constellations with his gaze.
– Ah, alright, alright. I wish for… - you started, but Johnny quickly interrupted you,
– You can’t tell me, otherwise it won’t come true! Come on, Y/N, don’t you know the star-wishing rules? – his slight laughter lit up the atmosphere.
– If that’s the rule, then I wish for us to argue again, fight often, maybe even never seeing each other again – you let yourself get your guard down a little. It’s still a joke, right?
– Woah, that’s some great reverse psychology upon an astronomical body. You’ve got me here, miss Y/N.
Stevie Nicks in the background sung another song about dreamy, star-crossed lovers’ fate. You felt his arm around you, both of you still admiring the beauty of a night sky. Lingering aroma of his classic cologne filled the air between your bodies. However, the distance between you started to shrink. The night was young, bottles clinked between your hands, summer was in a full bloom. Just like back then, for a while, there was nothing to worry about. No chores, no relatives or coworkers to get back to. Just you, Johnny, and this sentimental reenactment of your very first kiss.
one time offer!
hi! i'm chaya and my jackass hyperfixation is back. do you know what that means? yeah, i'll gladly take commissions for fics of any kind! here's what/who i write for:
⛧ jackass!
johnny knoxville bam margera ryan dunn (no smut, i beg of you) steve-o chris pontius danger ehren dave england
⛧ jackass-adjacent/cky people!
ville valo tony hawk (i'll love you forever for a request for this man) dico rake yohn jimmy pop (if i forgot somebody, i'm so sorry!)
don't know how to pose? just hit 'em with the johnny knoxville special
johnny give me your confidence im serious
johnny in his 20's ✨️🎀
look at that golden age hollywood smile!!
oh to work with johnny knoxville on a niche film set [manifesting that for myself]
they just randomly decided to hit the 2012 indie summer arthouse coming of age movie and I couldn't love them more for that
that's my family portrait if you even care
love is patient; love is kind and envies no one.
love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude.
it does not insist on its own way.
it does not take offense;
nor does it keep a record of wrongs.
i'm screaming crying giggling begging for more love for dave england, he's just so pure and innocent
(yeah, ik that i'm talking about mr shit boy, but let me have this moment)
he's like a 70's controversial star i swear
Some good jackass gems I found
𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒! none.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! female jackass reader, cussing, jackassery, circa 2000, bam wasnt dating jenn at this time. this is my first full fic I've written on this blog, please be nice.
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒! on mobile, format might be weird. lowercase intended but not constant, unedited, double periods intended, he has my entire heart. title was originally 'pretty boy' but I thought this one fit better, I'm obviously not the best at titles.
y/n, the only all-time female jackass member, had been away for a while. she grew up with jess margera, being by his side almost all the time. she knew of bam when she was growing up, due to being the same age as him, but she had never been friends with him. in fact, she was a bit afraid of him. she had always found him cute, developing a crush on him in the sixth grade that lasted all the way into her career as a jackass. why she was scared of him was a mystery, maybe it had to do with the crush.
somewhere along the line between when the jackass show started and season two ended, she had stopped being afraid of bam. her feelings of anxiety were replaced by lust. luckily for her, he felt the same way for her. she didnt know why it took so long for her fears to go away, but she was glad it was over. unfortunately, she left the country immediately after she got comfortable around him, leaving bam and their feelings for eachother in the dust.. she had to go to europe to visit the family she had in her grandmother's hometown, where the woman had passed away a few weeks before. when she got back, they had just begun filming for jackass season 3, and she decided not to tell anyone that she would be on set.
that leads us here.
"come on, bam! we need someone to do the stunt!" bam rolled his eyes and turned around to make eye contact with knoxville, giving him an unimpressed look. "there's no fucking way, man. it's just too crazy." johnny sighed and opened his mouth to reply, but paused when a door opened. the pair froze, it was y/n, the girl they hadn't seen in months. she greeted them with a smile and spoke excitedly, "I heard you needed someone to do the stunt?" bam's eyes went wide when he realized who she was, he was frozen in place, mouth slightly agape. she chuckled at the boy and stepped towards him, closing his mouth as she spoke to him. "you're gonna catch flies, idiot." he smiled at her before hugging her tightly. "god, I missed you so fuckin much." she laughed at his words before telling him the same.
johnny asked her if she really wanted to do the stunt, and she said yes. he muttered a 'okay let's go' and guided her to the set. she didnt actually know what the stunt was, but she knew it would be ridiculous if nobody else would do it, and she knew she needed to make her first skit back a stupid one. bam was left behind with a confused look on his face, scolding her with his eyes. he never liked it when y/n did stunts, and he always worried about her general wellbeing. however, y/n was the most stubborn person on the crew, and he knew he couldn't do anything about it.
afterwards, y/n met bam outside, but he wasn't happy like she thought he would be. instead, he had a sour look on his face, one that y/n had grown to hate. "you alright?" y/n spoke softly, trying her hardest not to upset the man any more than he already was. he nodded but looked away from her, which gave her the answer she needed. he wasnt okay, and it was obvious it was because of her. she sighed and reached out to grab his hand but he was hesitant to let her. "I'm sorry I left.. I missed you so much." he pulled her closer to him, resting his head on hers. he took a deep breath in before speaking back to her. "missed you too."
usually, she would have left it at that, she was never one for pda, or even showing her affection in general. this time was different than other times though, she felt like the affection was needed. even if they weren't together, and never had been, she felt like she needed to make him feel needed. she looked up at the boy she knew so well, and he looked back at her. as much as she tried to look away, she couldn't. she found that her eyes seemed to be drawn to his lips, it was almost impossible to stop thinking about kissing him.
somehow, bam sensed the rising tension and pulled away. she inhaled sharply and pulled him back, now embracing him in a full hug. resting her head on his chest now, she took in everything new about him. his cologne changed, his style slightly changed, and he seemed less happy. she wondered if this was her fault. "bam..," she paused, unsure of what to say next. she looked up at him and found him already looking down at her lips with half lidded eyes. she opened her mouth to continue, but was cut off by him speaking suddenly. "can I kiss you?"
y/n was surprised, it was almost as though he read her mind. instead of answering him, she quickly leaned up and connected their lips. bam's hands moved from their place around her waist to her ass, and she smiled into the kiss before reaching down and pulling his hands back to their original place. she pulled away from the kiss to speak and saw that bam had a wide smile on his face, the first genuine smile she had seen on him since she had arrived back. "later, pretty boy, okay? not out here. and I still hurt from that damn stunt." he chuckled and nodded, unsure if he would actually be able to wait, but he knew he would at least try for her.
he’s a 10 but he broke his penis once and won’t shut the fuck up about it