I want a wife by Judy Brady really is a summary of why the patriarchy continues to exist. If your capable of never thinking of what the other person might want, if you’re able to dehumanize them enough to never consider that they exist in their own right… Who wouldn’t want a sex mommy who does everything for you and is always pleasant. That’s fundamentally why I don’t think males can escape the patriarchy merely by embracing their own femininity. If the choice is between ‘sometimes people make fun of you if you act a certain way… But you get the (often unhappy but never unpleasant) sex mommy I mentioned earlier’ or ‘You can cry or wear a purse, be as feminine as you want but female people have rights and most of them won’t want to be your sex mommy and will might even require you to help them while they work.’ The only reason to pick the latter is if you actually see female people as human and her wants and needs as equal value to your own (or if you’re not attracted to females, that can build a bridge of empathy but well. Sometimes it’s just a continued expectation of labor except without the sex. Sometimes they still believe in male supremacy but see us as lacking value altogether.) So much of regressive politics around female people are built around this deal it’s kind of ridiculous when people act like it doesn’t exist.