Kept this in my notes for a while, but here’s my submission to space Australia on how aliens actually value their humans
Alien: human, what do you do in your free time
Human: play with the bros
Alien: but how? Theyare light years away
Human: we hop on discord and play games with eachother or watch movies
Alien: interesting
1 year later, an alien is invading their spaceship
Alien: Human be careful, we need you alive
Human: hey don’t worry about it
Alien invader comes across them with their human
Alien 2: we have come to take your ship!
Human 2: Hell yeah!
Human1: that voice… Josh? Bro! I haven’t seen you in years, it’s me alex
Human 2: Bro?… I didn’t know you were in this job too-
Human 1: hell yeah! It’s got so many benefits. Man I’ve been waiting years to meet you irldude
Human 2: couldn’t have said it better myself bro!
Alien 1: so uhh… since our humans know eachother. Instead of raiding our ship, we could ally with eachother so our humans could spend more time together.
Alien 2:…. Sure whatever makes them happy, uh, sorry about this. If knew they were friends I would’ve took another ship
Alien 1: it’s alright, humans are complex and weird. It’s only natural to want them to have the best life they can here.
Alien 2: guess you’re right
Human 1:Bro
Human 2:Bro!
Human 1: Bro!
Both humans in synch: BRO!