Believe Survivors - Blog Posts
“Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.” Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
Some people won’t believe you until you break. Break anyway, if you need to. You don’t owe anyone your composure.
“So much of coming to terms with hard things from the past seems to be about believing our own accounts, having our memories confirmed by those who were there and honoured by those who weren’t.” — Sarah Polley, Run Towards the Danger
You're still here
Maybe you still talk about it like it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe you laugh when you tell the story. Maybe you change the details each time, depending on who’s listening. Maybe you say “it was weird” instead of “it was wrong.”
Sometimes, survival looks like contradiction. Like forgetting on purpose. Like trying on different words until one of them feels safe enough to hold.
You don’t owe anyone a neat version of what happened. It was messy. You’re still here. That’s the truth.
You don’t have to be perfect to be harmed.
Maybe you’d had a drink. Maybe you laughed along. Maybe you told them they were cute once. Maybe you texted back. Maybe you said yes to one thing, but not to what happened next.
Maybe you tried to be polite when you should have run. Maybe you didn’t run because you were scared. Or tired. Or frozen.
None of that means it wasn’t harassment. None of that means it was your fault.
Harassment doesn’t always roar. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it laughs. And sometimes it just watches to see if you’ll flinch...
If you’re wondering if it ‘counts’ as harassment...that’s the problem
“You’re overreacting.” Me, about to liberate the galaxy AND the breakroom.
just because
no one saw it
doesn’t mean
you imagined it
Given a choice between accepting that something awful has happened, or thinking that someone is mistaken, exaggerating, or lying, much of the time our brains will deny the awful thing happened.
You are not imagining it. If something feels off, it probably is. Doubt is part of the pattern. So is denial.
Surviving harassment doesn’t mean it didn’t affect you. Being strong doesn’t make it okay. You shouldn’t have had to be.
You don’t need to prove it
was
serious enough.
If it made you feel unsafe, disrespected, or humiliated
that’s serious...that’s enough.
Given a choice between accepting that something awful has happened, or thinking that someone is mistaken, exaggerating, or lying, much of the time our brains opt to deny the awful thing happened.
and found me guilty of making things awkward
Michael A Davenport, 3,090 Degrees Fahrenheit (Oil on canvas, 2025)
30in x 48in
Even people who care about you and want you to be safe may disbelieve you at first. This is not because you are to blame or because your story is not true.
