Drug Abuse - Blog Posts
Lowkey would wanna get better. But I am literally nothing without my addictions and obsessions, so we’ll stay here.
Roy Harper calls to me in the most painful ways.
if you really think about it I’m Tuco Salamanca, I’m just not addicted to meth. (yet)
I’m gonna snort my mom’s back pain meds. Idk anymore. 🥀🥀
hey. got involuntarily admitted for 3 weeks. i won't touch much upon the hell i went through but let's just say i am extremely jaded and bitter and angry. i have a severe bruise on my leg from attacking objects, and some more bruises elsewhere. my knees are further fucked from medical neglect. i was threatened with restraint within hours of arriving. nothing feels real and i keep breaking down in tears.
i just got out today. my bestie picked me up, we hung out, it was cathartic. i was going to be put into inpatient rehab, then i realized i didn't want to be locked up and was just being manipulated. then i tried for respite and outpatient, but respite won't have a bed until after thanksgiving. i'm terrified to even go now because i want to keep what control of my life i have left.
so now i'm home. with my abusive family. no one has seemed happy to see me. only my mom visited me, when i asked her to bring something. my psychiatrist at the ward broke HIPPA and told my mom i'm an addict, who then told my aunt, and now my whole family knows. my father included. i have already abused drugs within half an hour of being home.
i don't even have the option of relaxing in my own room, which i had begun turning into a safe haven, because my family turned it into storage. there is virtually no walking room and it is a massive safety hazard to me. they also killed half my roses, and the others are barely alive. they said they'd take care fo them. fuck my life. fuck all of this.
why is everything i touch dying.
Post #8 - Pink Elephants
♫ - What I’m currently listening to.
This post is about two days late, but I have a good excuse for that; work, work, work. Now that I'm on a bit of a holiday break I can see about returning to daily posts, or at least getting the next scene out in a timely manner.
Beyond work holding me up, I binged the latest season of The Handmaid’s Tale yesterday. I wanted to say that it could serve as a great resource for this story, but I don't want this fanfic to be anywhere near as hopeless as that show. I love it, but its total misery porn, and a person can only handle so much misery before it starts to effect their mental health. So Fawn will take some inspiration from the mentioned while following a more heartening tone.
We have the concept for scene four above. Papyrus will come downstairs with his shirt buttoned, lace up his boots, and remind Sans not to be late for his million side jobs (or complain about something equivalent depending on the AU). He’ll leave, and Sans will continue with his slacking off. The television will be on, we get a shot of a ballerina taking a bow, as Sans snorts, smokes, or injects Dust in somewhere or another.
All of the finer details of this scene will really depend on the AU we choose. I didn't think it would be such a hindrance, but its turning out to be one. What I do know is that Sans drug addiction is fundamental to the story just like Papyrus’ pedophilia, so it honestly doesn't matter what we ultimately settle with. Sans will still be a junky.
I checked on my stats today to find I now have over 20 followers! It was just last week that I was celebrating 10. I want to thank everyone for sticking through with this so far. I hope to keep it up until the very end of the project.
I know this isn’t my usual type of reblog but if you are dealing with anything like this please call these hotlines
Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.
Depression Hotline:1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline:1-800-784-8433
LifeLine:1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project:1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support:1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline:1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault:1-800-656-4673
Grief Support:1-650-321-5272
Runaway:1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale:After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
Child Abuse:1-800-422-4453
UK Helplines:
Samaritans (for any problem):08457909090 e-mail [email protected]
Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem):08001111
Mind infoline (mental health information):0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]
Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice):0300 466 6463 [email protected]
b-eat eating disorder support:0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]
b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders):08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
Cruse Bereavement Care:08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]
Frank (information and advice on drugs):0800776600
Drinkline:0800 9178282
Rape Crisis England & Wales:0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]
Rape Crisis Scotland:08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
India Self Harm Hotline:00 08001006614
India Suicide Helpline:022-27546669
Kids Help Phone (Canada):1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7
suicide hotlines;
Argentina:54-0223-493-0430
Australia:13-11-14
Austria:01-713-3374
Barbados:429-9999
Belgium:106
Botswana:391-1270
Brazil:21-233-9191
China:852-2382-0000
(Hong Kong:2389-2222)
Costa Rica:606-253-5439
Croatia:01-4833-888
Cyprus:357-77-77-72-67
Czech Republic:222-580-697, 476-701-908
Denmark:70-201-201
Egypt:762-1602
Estonia:6-558-088
Finland:040-5032199
France:01-45-39-4000
Germany:0800-181-0721
Greece:1018
Guatemala:502-234-1239
Holland:0900-0767
Honduras:504-237-3623
Hungary:06-80-820-111
Iceland:44-0-8457-90-90-90
India:022 2754 6669
Israel:09-8892333
Italy:06-705-4444
Japan:3-5286-9090
Latvia:6722-2922, 2772-2292
Malaysia:03-756-8144
(Singapore:1-800-221-4444)
Mexico:525-510-2550
Netherlands:0900-0767
New Zealand:4-473-9739
New Guinea:675-326-0011
Nicaragua:505-268-6171
Norway:47-815-33-300
Philippines:02-896-9191
Poland:52-70-000
Portugal:239-72-10-10
Russia:8-20-222-82-10
Spain:91-459-00-50
South Africa:0861-322-322
South Korea:2-715-8600
Sweden:031-711-2400
Switzerland:143
Taiwan:0800-788-995
Thailand:02-249-9977
Trinidad and Tobago:868-645-2800
Ukraine:0487-327715
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE MORE ABOUT HOW WARMWEED AFFECTED WILL
please I am begging
I want to see how his memory was altered
I want to see how his body felt wrong
I want to see the terror of encountering it as a medical salve
I want to see the lasting affects of a drug that was forced upon him in a situation he was being abused in
Benadrilled
I looked for awnsers on the pyschonaut wiki for symptoms of recreational benadryl use
I have found the awnsers I wasn't seeking. Here in my tired eye I see the human condition, and it is unbearably lonely.
I skirted an empty void like a water bug on a puddle, to me this puddle was an entire ocean
In the Breaking Bad episode "Fly", sandwhiched somewhere almost exactly in the middle of the show, Jesse Pinkman drugs an increasingly volatile and unhinged Walter White to finish a drug cook he was otherwise interfering with.
Though Benadryl is most typically used as perscribed for sleep, it is becoming more widely known in modern times as an OTC recreational drug. Those who take large doses to try and achieve its hallucinegenic effects often have terrible trips, and people have been known to fatally overdose.
Ive personally have never experianced worse depressive episodes then I did hungover from Benadryl. My past abusing otc drugs is a fly in my sobriety from such substances. When I find myself in the clutches of addiction, everything was always contaminated. Nostalgia I think is a yearning for a percieved serenity that doesn't exist. A desire to escape ones own mind that outweighs the pains of drug abuse, a self harm in and of itself.
I never wanted to quit drugs more then when I was in the throws of drugs like DXM and Benadryl. I wallow in this feeling of death with the fear I've lived too long. My body is a rickety ladder on top of boxes on wheels.
I dream of an afterlife, hope as I do for a sign like water...on mars...