Social Issues - Blog Posts
I am scared .
I am a young queer girl.
I don’t have much of a community, only two people who are also LGBT+ and three or four more who are even slightly liberal. Only the former know I actually am panromantic.
I long to be in the sun, to know in the future I could have a girlfriend, or even just be open, but that longing makes me cautious.
I feel I must temper my argumentative side, make myself likable, and yet still try to hold all those around me accountable and challenge their preconceived notions. I want, when they think back on me, them not to feel revilement or fear I may have been deceiving them. I try to compliment all the other girls in my grade but I fear if I truly say how aesthetically beautiful I feel they all are, they will look back and see me as perverse or fear I had a crush on them and not understand I see them as beautiful in the same way I see the mountains and the trees. Rather than understanding I had hoped for them to see themselves as an innately beautiful part of the beautiful universe or even just to slightly improve their abysmal self esteem, they might look back and see “corruption” in my words.
I don’t know why I even fear it.
I fear how I see those around me not understand the necessity of queer rights and one of my own best friends wrinkling her nose in disgust every time a queer character even appears.
I feel helpless to explain how the eradication of trans rights in not only a sign of the tragic repeating of history to come but isolated from that simply a slap in the face, more harmful to my community and to feminism than I can properly articulate.
I feel like I’m drowning when I check the comments on a video of an explaination of the difference between WGM and GM in chess. Dread haunts like the reaper as I see the large number of replies, each with people claiming the very existence of the WGM title is either unnecessary or proves how women are inherently inferior at chess, lacking any nuance on history.
I dispare as the community online I am forced to view from afar, sipping and skimming, attempts to repeat the same patterns that threaten to or try to rip our spaces in half.
I am wrecked with terror at the prospect of not being able to escape for college to another country. Gnashing at my heels as I run from the disintegration of my country is the fear that every place I look to is headed in the same direction, that no progress will ever truly be made as some proudly stuff cotton into their ears and put megaphones to their uninformed words.
I am young but I do not feel young. I fear I will never feel old and I fear what will become of me and my friends if I do reach past 55.
I am afraid
But even as the storms now wash away the footprints I follow, laborious, repeated efforts will carve a path into the dirt.
Eat the rich. 💫💫💫
Why did someone send me this and claim it was proof women’s rights were under attack?
Yeah women aren’t the only caregiver and often due to socialization they push males out of parenting roles and often undermine males in these situations.
It’s actually part of the whole “women have historically been the child raisers” narrative. As a society women see themselves as the only ones who know how to raise kids and we even specifically use women as symbols of good parents despite men being statistically just as good at parenting.
You aren’t being attacked by this and if you see this as an attack you are a brainwashed idiot who thinks women’s only role is a walking womb who is meant to push out spawn and then raise them while the rock person you are married too go and dies in a war or something.
Toxic moms vs Good Fathers
The Crucial Role of Fathers in Child Development and Overcoming Maternal Gatekeeping
As a psychotherapist, I've observed firsthand how deeply impactful a father's role is in a child's emotional, psychological, and behavioral development. Current research underscores the importance of paternal involvement, highlighting the structured, authoritative approach fathers commonly adopt, characterized by clear expectations, discipline, and consistent guidance. These aspects of fatherhood foster independence, emotional resilience, and social competence in children (Frontiers in Psychology, 2022).
Why Fathers are Essential
Fathers uniquely contribute to children's growth through structured play and consistent discipline, significantly influencing children's emotional regulation, academic performance, and social interactions. Research shows that children with engaged fathers exhibit improved cognitive development, better behavioral outcomes, and enhanced emotional stability. Conversely, the absence of a father correlates strongly with increased risks for mood disorders, behavioral problems, and difficulties with emotional regulation (PMC, 2023).
Understanding Toxic Maternal Gatekeeping
While mothers often excel at nurturing, some behaviors, especially maternal gatekeeping, can inadvertently hinder a father's involvement. Maternal gatekeeping refers to behaviors where a mother may limit or restrict the father's access to the child, often through criticism, control, or undermining his parenting efforts. This behavior frequently stems from unresolved attachment issues, emotional insecurity, or distrust, particularly among mothers who themselves lacked a father figure in their upbringing (PMC, 2016).
Maternal gatekeeping not only undermines paternal engagement but can perpetuate generational cycles of absenteeism. Women raised without fathers are more likely to experience similar patterns in their own families, leading to ongoing familial dysfunction and emotional instability (Fatherhood.org, 2023).
Economic and Emotional Challenges in Father-Absent Households
Families without an actively involved father, particularly single-mother households, commonly experience economic hardships, increased stress, and limited social support. These stressors can negatively impact children's psychological and emotional well-being, highlighting the need for paternal presence to provide stability and structure. In contrast, single-father households typically report higher incomes and better resource accessibility, underscoring the socio-economic advantages of paternal involvement (Pew Research Center, 2013).
Strategies for Overcoming Maternal Gatekeeping
Fathers facing toxic maternal gatekeeping can employ several effective strategies:
Open Communication: Initiate respectful, non-confrontational discussions focused on the child's best interests.
Clearly Defined Roles: Establish written agreements outlining parental responsibilities and visitation.
Legal Support: Consult legal professionals early and document interactions meticulously.
Mediation and Therapy: Engage in mediation or family counseling to facilitate healthy co-parenting communication.
Parenting Education: Participate in parenting workshops to strengthen parenting skills and demonstrate commitment.
Child-Centric Approach: Prioritize the child's emotional health and consistently avoid negative speech about the other parent.
Strong Emotional Connections: Maximize quality time to build trust and strengthen bonds with the child.
Professional Support: Utilize individual and child-focused counseling to navigate emotional challenges and familial tensions.
Conclusion
As a psychotherapist, I've witnessed the transformative impact that involved fathers can have on their children's lives. Addressing and overcoming maternal gatekeeping behaviors is critical for fostering healthier family environments. By advocating for structured paternal involvement, supporting co-parenting strategies, and understanding the root causes of gatekeeping, we can significantly improve children's developmental outcomes, ensuring emotional, social, and psychological health for generations to come.
References
Frontiers in Psychology (2022). "The Role of Fathers in Child Development." https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.772023/full
PMC (2023). "Psychological Effects of Father Absence." https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5648344
PMC (2016). "Maternal Gatekeeping and Father Involvement." https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4922533
Fatherhood.org (2023). "Father Absence and Intergenerational Patterns." https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic
Pew Research Center (2013). "The Rise of Single Fathers." https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/07/02/the-rise-of-single-fathers
Source: Toxic moms vs Good Fathers
Sorry FEMALES but wanting to look good and use makeup is bad and you are bad for wanting to use it. No don’t argue about this you are actively raping women with your use of makeup as it’s patriarchy now. Cause using make up is bad and patriarchy and all that. Btw the people saying this shit are bio essentialists who believe a woman is only a woman if she has a fertile womb and produces kids but YOU are bad if you use makeup for whatever reason.
The true feminist take of course is that everyone should use makeup. Men, women, enbys and all genders should embrace using makeup when they wish. It’s not shameful or wrong to want to look a little special if you want to go out or just want to play about with it to make your features pop a bit more for whatever reasons as long as you want to do it and it’s not due to force or coercion.
context: she is triggered by a woman pointing out she was never taught how to use makeup and lamenting she was pushed into “inner beauty” stuff but never taught personal hygiene.
Earlier today I stumbled upon a website called Rapey.co. This website is one of (many) forum websites which focuses on REAL people normalizing pedophilia, rape, incest and even murder. They share VERY disturbing stories about children (sometimes even their own) and the fantasies or plans they wish to carry out which involve the rape and murder of women and children. Some of these are accounts asking for advice as to how to rape, how to murder, how to seduce children. If you take a look at my friends Facebook post ( https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1471682506554480&id=100011382334335 ) or at the horrific website itself (trigger warning) there are many disturbing screenshots and posts to read from. You can see it is not hidden, it is in plain sight. This is not found on the dark or deep web.. it is accessible through ANY BROWSER. Imagine being so confident and comfortable with such evil and horrific crimes that you are able to open up an entire website about it? This is because even THEY know nothing is going to be done about it, so there is no need to hide it.
I am ashamed to live in a society where things like this can so easily be posted and encouraged on the internet and the amount of people who witness it and do nothing about it. We live in a society that is trying to justify and normalize rape and pedophilia, and this is UNACCEPTABLE.
The children talked about by adults in these forums are at great danger. One man said he is trying to seduce his own daughter, and if that doesn't work he'd force himself on to her. Although it's extremely disturbing and triggering to read, IT NEEDS TO COME TO LIGHT, SO IT CAN COME TO AN END. (This was copy and pasted from a friends server, next announcement I'm linking the petition to get rid of it)
http://chng.it/NyNDdBQsjV please sign. This website is literally fucking disgusting
You all better fucking reblog this shit, my inbox should be full of reblogs
@nac-nic @comic-nerd-dc @baeilish @batsydweeb @incorrectbatfam @odd-blue @psychovigilantewrites
Hello! I’m Abby! I’m known by Artsy Abby and I’m a mental health advocate as well as social justice fighter. I raise awareness for world issues and a provide links to articles so people can educate themselves on the subject as well as petitions and relief funds for people in need. I have a lot of links in groups based on events and times. For example, as a member of both the LGBTQ+ and POC communities, I’ve got a lot of links that are relevant right now I’ve added to those specific sections. I also have spreadsheets for peaceful protests depending on event (BLM, Roe v Wade, so on and so forth), state/country and affordable therapy (both singular and group). Those can all be found in my linktree attached below.
On top of all that, I’m an influencer and rising musician! I wanted to use my platform for good, and my lyrics always touch on something that people can relate to. Wether it’s mental health struggles, love, feeling alone, you name it, I’ve got a song for that. I want people to know that they’re not alone.
I am currently looking for a studio to record in and a management team or maybe find some sort of agency to work with! I think I have a lot of potential and would love for others to see that.
I just released my third album, Mixed Signals, it’s currently being put on all platforms and I would love to know what y’all think! Here is the link for Apple Music https://music.apple.com/us/album/mixed-signals/1631347119
Here is where you’ll find all my socials, petitions, articles, and so much more. I’ve got it nice and organized: https://linktr.ee/ArtsyAbby
Here is my YouTube, where I post my music and my gaming: https://youtube.com/channel/UCG4RdjmhnqA-fp88EhuesHg
My YouTube music (which is NOT the same as regular YouTube): https://music.youtube.com/channel/UCgtClBsNdPFpVH2pw4R3TRQ
Here’s where you can buy my merch! https://streamlabs.com/artsyabbyplays/merch
My LGBTQ Line merch! https://store.streamelements.com/artsyabbyplays
My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/artsyxabbyx
My Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/4v2v1GQWuknZTPYNqVWq0H?si=KO6Wh2zCTSGX912fNKSaLQ
My apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/artsy-abby/1618955058
My tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdPLUgja/
My insta: https://www.instagram.com/its.artsy.abby/?r=nametag
Here's Another Poem I wrote
This is one of the two poems that I wrote this year for a black history assembly at my school.
Blind
Can’t see it.
Can’t feel it.
Can’t recognize it.
You’re blind.
You turn away from the struggle of others.
You won’t hear about the injustice.
You pretend it’s all in the past.
You’re blind.
Don’t act like isn’t here.
Don’t act like it isn’t there.
Don’t make-believe it's all gone away.
Don’t look away from all the pain.
Your guilt is telling you to turn away.
Your fear is making you hateful.
Your hate is turning you violent.
Your ignorance has made you blind.
reminder that the "taiwanese independence movement" (with 🇳🇫 emoji) is a nazist group that invent the myth of a "singular taiwanese ethnicity" much like hitler's idea of aryan people and advocate for an ethnostate
there's no "taiwanese ethnicity", even if you take only indigenous populations, they are not one and the same thing (theyre classified into various tribes for a reason) -- and the autonomy of indigenous people of taiwan is very solvable without the nazi mvmt
the KMT atrocities are very solvable without the nazi mvmt
pretty much all social issues the cult is "aiming to solve" by estabilishing a nazi ethnostate are solvable without it.
and let's not forget they are more xenophobic/racist and homophobic on average than like many other political groups in taiwan while also claiming to be progressive.
repeat after me: taiwan independence advocates are nazis (much like their red neighbors in beijing)
I think the number one worst piece of traditional advice people give about being bullied is to "stand up to the bully."
This only works if you can make a convincing show of force to the bully, if you can convince them that there will be consequences to further attacks.
If you try to bluff a bully and fail (as is very likely, bullies generally have enough social awareness to pick their targets and to get away with bullying), the bully will punish you. Severely. Standing up to a bully with no credible defense or threat gets you pounded.
Instead, gather allies and confront the bully together. Cultivate authorities and destroy the bully's ability to get away with crimes or prohibited actions. Devise asymmetrical ways of retaliating, using any advantages you might possess. If possible, find ways to make your show of force without making an actual counterattack on the bully. That way you can maintain the moral advantage.
Don't escalate. Keep your responses proportional, even restrained, and your mind focused and calm. If you're more aggressive or harmful than the bully, you've either opened yourself up to being seen as the problem, or given the bully a justification to take even more harmful actions against you. Bullies often try to provoke this exact mistake, by getting their targets angry.
If the bully is a powerful group, which can't safely be confronted or resisted, it may be necessary to suffer some retribution, some punishment, and continue to confront or resist anyway, to send the message that no amount of retribution, however violent, will stop your resistance, or change your behavior.
would you still want me if you realise that i’m just a melancholic girl with issues and weird interests?
The Banning of Books
NO. 1
Books are intellectual properties that are increasingly challenged and criticized for their particular contents on race, sexuality, class, and gender, even fiction! Books aren’t just educational tools but forms of shaping individual experiences and values, and to be able to share the public is an essential part of our democratic society. The opposition claims that parents of young children have the right to keep their minds free and innocent of what is ‘controversial.’ A list of the books banned during this year is here if you wish to check it out.
NO. 2
Freedom of expression is one of our fundamental rights. Banning or censoring books violates individual rights, but how will children learn to express those individual ideas and thoughts if we suppress diverse perspectives? How will society move forward and evolve if we continue to shelter and limit knowledge? From Precocious Knowledge: Using Banned Books to Engage in a Youth Lens’, ‘‘The quest to protect the imagined innocence of ‘the young and inexperienced’ has endured and is today bolstered by differing organizations—Attempts to control language have a long history with youth; The implicit fear seems to be less about what language might do to teens and more about what teens might do with language. Obscenities can be used to wield power over adults or at least unsettle them. When we balk at a text because of its use of profanity, a racial slur, a homophobic remark, or any other language that might be deemed objectionable, we should consider if we are protecting our students or ourselves from feeling uncomfortable. Language that can be at times unnerving often feels reveals charged topics that demand messy and uneasy conversations.’’
NO. 3
In conclusion, this censorship is not only damaging our intellectual growth but another form of suppressing diverse perspectives, in turn trying to make a return to puritan society. Banning books is going to have the opposite reaction conservative politicians, groups, and parents are hoping for—instead of protecting young minds, it will only narrow their understanding of the world and deprive them of valuable opportunities for critical thinking. And no, I am not liberal, nor am I conservative (republican or democrat.) I am a citizen deeply concerned about the vast changes happening extremely quickly to limit and oppress the free flow of information, ideas, and expression. Children learn by example, and they express more than you give them credit for. They deserve the right to learn and explore freely.
Read all of the books on the so-called "banned list;" I myself have yet to read Fahrenheit 451, but I know what's on my to do list.
The racial aspects of Sci Fi, Fantasy and other forms media
NO. 1
One of the blog posts I have written before was titled ‘Mean World Syndrome’, which talked about how race and media affects everyone on a global scale. Racial aspects of sci-fi, fantasy, and other forms of media have long been a source of controversy. From the stereotypes of aliens in Star Trek to the whitewashing of characters in movies like Avatar, Prince of Persia, etc. these issues have been a major source of discussion in the media landscape. In many cases, racial stereotypes have been used to create a sense of ‘otherness’ for the characters of color in order to reinforce a sense of white superiority. This has led to criticism from fans, activists, and academics who have called for more representation of people of color in sci-fi, fantasy, and other forms of media.
NO. 2
In the entertainment business, inclusivity is hard to come by, and in some cases, the representation of characters of color in these genres is inadequate and often offensive. Characters of color are often relegated to the sidelines and made to serve as the backdrop to white characters’ stories, or they are depicted as tokens and stereotypes. This lack of meaningful representation has led to a push for more diverse casts in sci-fi, fantasy, and other forms of media. ‘‘Like many social sciences, international/intercultural/interethnic communication and media studies are primarily an Anglo-American media images have always been critically dissected, often by scholars with some kind of privileged tie to other cultures—Most makers of these blockbusters are mostly white males with English as their mother tongue, mutli-millionaires or aspiring to become one as soon as possible. They usually internalize a mid-Atlantic view of global history and geography, its central myths and legends. So many blockbusters remain ethnocentric, even today—they tend to make non-Westerners look at the world through Western eyes.’’
NO.3
In addition to representation in the stories themselves, the casting of actors to bring these characters to life has been another source of debate. Many actors of color have argued that they are often typecast into roles that are stereotypical or that do not reflect the true diversity of the world. Films or TV shows with fantasy/sci-fi themes on Netflix, like Chambers or Raising Dion are not being properly advertised because, like Inclusive Advertising: What’s Holding the Industry Back? claims, ‘‘The industry itself is not diverse: The advertising industry — across the ecosystem and at all levels — is not representative, which is itself a barrier to creating representative and inclusive content. Only 19% of in-house and 23% of agency survey respondents reported that their leader almost always considers the demographic diversity of their team when developing content. That, and individuals (in these marketing companies) lack awareness of and access to the knowledge, skills, resources, and tools to create representative and inclusive content. Individuals are confident in their ability to create representative and inclusive content, but only if provided with adequate tools and resources.’’
NO. 4
Of course, there will always be people who dislike seeing a more diverse setting, especially against the established order of Western ‘‘whiteness’’ ideologies. Ultimately, the best way to ensure diversity in these genres is to continue to create stories that feature diverse characters and cultures. If authors, producers, and casting directors make a conscious effort to create more imaginative stories that are inclusive and reflective of the real world, then audiences will be able to experience a more authentic and meaningful experience.
I know this is a tired, (hopefully) well-known idea, but it bears repeating.
The idea that “money doesn’t buy happiness” most often comes from a place of inherent privilege and comfort.
Sure, money doesn’t buy “happiness”, but it can buy that set of markers you’ve been eying, or a new sketchbook because your old one is finally out of space, or a tablet and pen because you’ve really been wanting to try out digital art.
It can buy piping tips and bags, new cake pans, cupcake liners, food coloring that you’re sure will give you the right result this time—
It can buy books, video games and gaming systems, candles and face masks, nail polish and makeup, cosplay material, and more.
It can buy a vacation to that one place that’s been of your bucket list for years, or dinner with friends, or a plane ticket so you can go home for Christmas this year.
It can buy the basic fucking necessities of life—food, water, housing, clothing, education, etc. I don’t know about you, but knowing that I can feed myself tomorrow, or for the next week, or for the next month makes me pretty damn happy.
You may not need money to be happy, but you sure as hell need hobbies, and people, and a roof over your head, and sustenance.
Don’t be ignorant.
Every year I spend most of my vacations on my own. Not exactly by choice, but also not because I lack the possibility of choosing. I do have friends and I want to see them and they want to see me. But I simply forget to make plans. Like, I’m so invested on bettering myself! I want to read all the books my friends recommended and watch all the movies and learn to play all the songs! I want to get into poetry and also learn more about rap so I can share my loved ones’ interests! I want to move more and also eat healthy and cook and bake and sew and dance and sing and paint! So in the end I try to do all of those and forget to make plans, so I end up isolated inside my house, which is kind of terrible for my mental health. It kind of backfires.
And when I feel lonely, I want to have people with me right now, not make plans for the next week. So I don’t make plans, and the next week I end up feeling lonely again. But calling and asking who has time now would come off as too needy, wouldn’t it? I’m sure everyone else is busy, and I don’t want to be rejected, so I end up not even asking.
Idk. Does anyone else feel like this?
