School Memes - Blog Posts
I'm convinced that the TruMoo chocolate "milk" they serve at my school is why its failure rates are so high. There's no way it's not poison.
Poem I wrote about eating fundip like two years ago
Whaddup Im Jared Im 19 and i never fucking learned to get seretonin in a healthy way
Ah to be a lizard, sitting on rock, naked, basking in the sunlight, and not giving a fuck.
Will to live at critical levels
Me: treat all the equipment with care as tho it was your own child.
My Professor/boss: *literally steps on baby stands while opening a cart improperly to show me why I need to press on the wire*
Me:
(For context: I work in the equipment room at my university and my film professor doubles as my boss there.)
(And yes, baby stand is the actual name for the stand type.)
I have a bunch of papers to write, but I chose to finish reading Tokyo Ghoul Re: and watched all of Cherry Magic! instead of working...
shoutout to the guy in my ap environmental science class who started losing his shit mid practice exam cuz he didn’t know the difference between independent and dependent variables.
i started this school year as rory gilmore and am ending it as remus lupin.
me *having had only a handful of strawberries, two cups of coffee and an energy drink*: why hand shaky :(
ah shoot ur right my bad
Teachers when a student wears a hoodie
Teachers when someone gets bullied
The class after the teacher mentions your name while reading a book out loud:
this is just what the notes I take during class look like
Eyes of the forest. Aspen trees
shit i heard in the halls at high school
(pt 5)
" he came in, threatening..." *long pause* " ..lives"
"salad without eggs is like communism"
"i wish my bf was a boy scout so he could tie me up like that"
"i was singing tacones rojos-" "you weren't singing it right"
"straight bi or otherwise keep your hands off other men's thighs"
"my favorite part about easter break was bullying seven year olds"
"a Tootsie roll with red flags"
"now they do buy 2 get one free vasectomy"
"I didn't know what to write so i wrote the plot to sherlock in Spanish"
"awww i can't download tin- wait sorry i was thinking about tits"
shit i heard in the halls at high school
(pt 4)
"enchanted with hepatitis"
"and he shattered the window bc he stabbed it with a pencil"
"yeah well i have high hopes that im perfectly fine"
"she literally screenshot-ed my own story and then cut ME out of it"
"imagine what it's like. to be trump"
"do I LOOK like a finger doctor, nerd?"
"I really don't like church" "you're white, of course you like church"
"is that ur ankles or ur toes"
"ur a golfing unicorn"
"i wonder what they're thinking of, other than.... pedophilia"
shit i heard in the halls at high school
(pt 3)
"Well you're friends with all the hOmOsExUaLs"
"what's that?" " that's called FEELINGS with a bunch of sad emojis around it"
*to her jacket* "why is the pocket stuck you WHORE?!?!"
"TAKE THAT BANANNAS!"
"do you like it? it's cottagecore" "oh yea sure" "wdym? you're a lesbian! it's like your culture!"
"I don't want transportation, I want transgender"
"I'm am entrepreneur, I steal fish"
"papa could I have some watermelon"
*loudly, to phone* "why are you asking to FaceTime me I don't even know you and I'm in school NO"
"leave room for jesus, no premarital sex"
i had started doing these on my old blog but lets start it up again (because im dedicated to this list)
shit i heard in the halls at school
(pt 1)
*male voice* "THATS MY TITTY AMBER"
boy1: *runs at the other* "ImMa gEtCha ImMa gEtcHa"
boy2: *panicked noises and running away"
"I have a headache and life if meaningless but at least I finished my geometry homework'
"well sorry I don't want my first kiss to be with nasty-ass mcmono"
"would you cut off your balls? *then again, more intense* but would you cut off your balls???"
"hey *random boy* what's your opinion on boobs?"
"do you wanna try my shoe on?"
"now *that's* a DM to send to your girlfriend"
"YOU DREW ME AS MEGAMIND????????"
"thanos corn dog"
You know, being a senior is such a good vibe. Like, nobody messes with you and everyone comes to talk to you from sophomore and junior years to ask about class selection and finals. And you give the vibe of that wise old owl who in fact doesn't know anything.
When the teacher asks you if you have any questions and you have the urge to say "The whole syllabus"